


Always and Forever

by TheWritingDork, what_in_the



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Asexual Jeremy Heere, Boyf Riends focused, Demonic Possession, Demons, Dystopia, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional disassociation, F/F, Gay Jeremy Heere, Gay Michael Mell, Heavy Angst, Heavy Fluff, M/M, Magic, Mind Control, Needles, Referenced Child Abuse, Referenced/Implied Torture, Slow Burn, Soul!AU, Temporary Character Death, asexual michael mell, dream walking, mention of vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-02 00:31:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 129,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17877737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWritingDork/pseuds/TheWritingDork, https://archiveofourown.org/users/what_in_the/pseuds/what_in_the
Summary: All his life, Jeremy has been different. Unlike other Insiders, the people loyal to the SQUIP, he felt subtle emotions and had an insatiable curiosity. One day, they led him outside the safety of the walls of the Inside, changing his life forever.He meets Michael, the passionate and energetic leader for the rebellion against the SQUIP. Can Jeremy learn  from him how to feel, and learn to harness the gifts inside him? Or is he truly destined to lose everything to the SQUIP?





	1. He Saw Red

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, it's Ari again with a new fic! It's another collab one, this time with what_in_the! We've been doing this for a while and waiting, but we finally have our first fic all complete! We hope you guys enjoy. Oh, and here are a few words from what_in_the!
> 
> ‘This started out as a small RP with a new friend and has lead me to getting my favourite writing partner! Hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!’
> 
> Ugh, Mara's so sweet guys, she's great. Also, anytime there's going to be something nasty in the chapter, we're going to try to mark it and let you guys know ahead of time (the gross and icky mentions are late into the fic). 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy reading everyone! Love you all lots! <3 (Also, sorry if the spacing is off, I tried hard to fix it but it won't so sorry ugh.)

The world was different once, more wild, less safe. It was a haven for death and destruction, and chaos reigned. Then He came. The SQUIP. He chased away everything that caused hurt and pain and suffering and replaced it with the Utopia known as the Inside. Once he was done with the world, only the good remained. That's how the story went.

  
Jeremy couldn't say he believed it, the SQUIP had always been there, always been present. He was a constant, an eternal ruler to watch over humanity. He was the personification of perfection. Jeremy wasn't sure he believed that either.

  
His father had always told him different stories, ones of life and laughter and an emotion called joy. Ones where magic, this indescribable force wielded by humans, would flow freely between animals and trees. Jeremy didn't know what a tree was, too scared to stray far enough from the inside to find out, but he thought he preferred that world anyway. It sounded like there was a lot more to learn out there. He had always been a curious boy.

  
Curiosity had outweighed his fear one day. Which is how Jeremy had found himself outside the protective fence of the Inside. He didn't intend to go far, but he had to find out what his father had been talking about the night he had vanished. He had said there was something out there, waiting for Jeremy to go and find it. He wasn't sure what was supposed to be here, but he was sure he had never seen so much of the color green in his life.

As he went through the woods and took in everything, all of the stimulating colors that he never got to see from his cozy little sector, he was too enthralled to notice that someone was watching him in a similar manner. Hidden away well enough to where it wouldn't break Jeremy's immersion, but well enough to keep an eye on him.

Jeremy couldn’t help himself, he had never seen so much color before. There was green, yes, but also browns and yellows on little plants he had never seen before. And there were smells, things he had never experienced before. It was strange, nothing like the fumes and artificial metallic smell of home, but it felt... safe somehow. Right. Jeremy felt a pull from deeper in the forest, he just had to see more. So deeper and deeper Jeremy ventured into the forest, quickly forgetting to take note of his path. He was too enthralled to really do much besides marvel at everything.

As he ventured deeper and deeper, however, the watchful eye over him lurked not too far behind. It seemed interested in him, and who wouldn't be? It was rare for anyone to ever come out of the utopian society of the SQUIP, and even more so for someone to willingly venture deeper, further away from SQUIP and the thrall that was him. Thankfully, Jeremy was too enraptured with these new sights, sounds, and feelings to be aware of much else... for now.

Jeremy felt... giddy. Light-headed. He shouldn’t be feeling any of this. He should be calm and collected like everyone else from the Inside. He wasn’t an Outsider after all, he was peaceful and obedient, like he was supposed to be. Only Outsiders were supposed to _feel_. But Jeremy was feeling. He was feeling... happy. That seemed like the right word. And the little giggle that escaped his lips only felt even more right. Everything out here was so beautiful! He was feeling happy! He was so happy that he decided to do the unthinkable: climb a tree.

As he climbed further and further up, the adrenaline of _feeling_ overtaking him, he saw something that was almost overwhelming to his already-overwhelmed senses: _red_. It was such a powerful color that popped through the nature of what he saw, though seemed to compliment the green oh-so well. Jeremy only saw the red in a quick flash, as if he wasn't meant to see it, before it vanished behind the foliage of his surroundings. If he had blinked at that moment, there would have been no way for him to see the flash of vibrancy from below.

Red wasn’t supposed to be seen. It was the color of blood. It was the color of danger. But for some reason, when Jeremy saw the red among the colors of the forest, it didn’t seem dangerous. It seemed right. In the same way that the happiness felt right and the colors felt right. He was so consumed by the thought that he didn’t realist his grip was loosening until he was falling. He let out a yelp of surprised as he tumbled to the ground. It wasn’t a big fall, but it did wind him. Still, he climbed to his feet and looked around, trying to spot the source of the red.

As he got to his feet and turned to look, he saw that red reappear. It was from the top a boy wore, one that probably wasn't helping with the winded feeling in his chest. His hair was unruly, untamed, which was never allowed where he was from, as everyone had to be proper and put-together. The dark hair complimented well with the other's warm, brown eyes, as well as his tanned skin as said eyes were wide behind horn-rimmed glasses. They were wide in what seemed to be worry as he seemed to hesitate before taking a few steps forward, as if he were concerned but didn't want to approach, as if Jeremy himself were something hot to the touch and dangerous.

Where the boy was cautious, Jeremy was frozen. This boy radiated warmth in every sense of the word. Jeremy felt some internal compulsion to talk to him, reassure him. It was different to when the SQUIP would speak to His people, this felt so much more natural.

  
“H-hello.” Jeremy hesitantly smiled. It felt foreign, because smiling was supposed to be reserved for family and partners only, but once again, it felt right. Still he wanted nothing more than for the warm boy to feel comfortable, not registering that no one from the Inside would be wearing red, that he was likely an Outsider. The boy opened his mouth to speak and Jeremy leant in eagerly. Then pain bloomed on the back of his head and his vision swam. Jeremy was out cold by the time he hit the ground.

As he was falling to the ground, however, he could faintly hear the sounds of voices of the boy in front of him calling out to someone, somewhere behind him, before everything faded. All he could make from the sound, however, was that this boy's warm voice matched with the warmth he radiated.

 

 

When Jeremy awoke, he found himself tied to a chair. After everything he’d been through, it was enough to spark panic in his chest. Looking around, he saw the room he was in was roughly sharpen and had all manner of irregular angles. A sharper fear spiked through him, though it took him a moment to figure out the source. The forest. The warm boy. Someone had attacked him! For a second, Jeremy noted that his head felt a lot better than it should have if he was knocked out, but then the panic set in. The warm boy was an Outsider, how could Jeremy have been so stupid?! His mother had always said that his curiosity would get him killed one day; it looked like she was right. He should never had gone to the forest. Jeremy let out a pathetic whimper as he struggled in his bonds. The outsiders would have no reason to keep him alive like last time he was in this position!

"So you're finally awake" came a voice that took Jeremy a few seconds to register then recognize: the warm boy, the Outsider. Even as he heard the voice and wanted to relax, there was something inside of him that tried to tell him to be difficult, to not listen or be swayed (though that could be from living under SQUIP his entire life and being fed this so often). These mixed feelings resulted in something he didn't want to portray to someone who was supposed to be his enemy: fear.

  
The boy came into view then, wearing the same outfit he had on before, but the look of concern was faced with a harder exterior. Even if Jeremy didn't know this boy, even if he was scared, and even though this boy was an Outsider, he knew that an expression like that didn't belong on such a warm person's face. "I have so-"

  
As soon as those warm eyes locked onto him, he seemed to freeze before the exterior he held crumbled back to the worry he saw before. "Oh shit, oh, are you OK?"

  
"Michael, I told you to not do the interrogating, you're too soft," came a voice Jeremy never heard before, though it didn't help with the fear he felt. "You can barely go ten seconds into interrogating this boy before you just lose it."

Jeremy didn’t register the concern, not really. His panic was already bubbling up to the surface, taking hold of his mind, Ignoring every lesson he had been taught about Outsiders, every lesson the SQUIP had trained into every Insider, every instinct that had been pushed into him, Jeremy broke down.

  
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come into the forest.” Jeremy’s vision swam with tears as he began babbling with fear. “I promise, I’ll be good. I’ll do whatever you want. Just- don’t hurt me, oh for the love of SQUIP, please down hurt me.” He wasn’t supposed to be so weak. Every Insider was supposed to be perfect, emotionless, and yet here was Jeremy, crying and begging for his life. He just couldn’t handle this again! His mother would be ashamed. Oh, SQUIP, he’d probably never see her again!

It seemed to take a second for the boy to realize that the boy, Michael (?), was in front of him, kneeling down so they were at face level as the tears streaming down his face were gently wiped away. "Hey hey, none of us here are going to hurt you, I promise you that," Michael got out, as if he was trying to calm him down, but why would he do that? He was everything an Insider wasn't supposed to be, yet here he was, crying for his life!

  
"Why are you- Holy hell, is he crying? Controlled aren't supposed to be able to show emotions."

Jeremy couldn’t help but lean into the gentle touch, so used to getting a harsh slap if he ever showed such strong emotions, especially if he was tied up like this. Michael seemed to take that as a good sign, because Jeremy saw a small, reassuring smile light up his face. Suddenly, Michael (Jeremy has decided he would call him that unless told otherwise) was giving off the same emotional warmth from the forest again. It took a moment, but thanks to the warmth Michael was giving out, he finally managed to calm his raging fear enough to properly process what had been said.

  
“If- if you’re not going to h-hurt me, why am I tied up? And what’s a c-Controlled?” Jeremy cursed his stammer. He was likely to get another slap or even a shock for that one, even if he couldn’t exactly control it too well.

Michael seemed more than willing to tell him, opening up his mouth before other figures came into Jeremy's peripheral. To the left of Michael was a shorter girl, more petite with flowing blond hair and a _warm yellow sweater_ practically enveloping her. To his right was another girl, chubby and proud as her hair was in buns with streaks of what Jeremy recognized as _purple_ , with her arms crossed over her chest. She seemed to be the one talking before, he recognized her voice, as she spoke up again. "Michael, we don't know if we can trust him, even if he's different than any other Controlled we've come across."

  
"Well, what about Jason? _He_ was different too, and you guys didn't want to trust him at first either," Michael said in return, looking over his shoulder at the two before he focused back onto Jeremy. "Well, I can at least tell you one thing and won't get yelled at for it-" An indignant cry could be heard from the girl talking before, and the petite one seemed to cover her mouth as she laughed. "-is that you're tied up because, well, we didn't know how you'd react when you first woke up. If you started to fight back or something, well, we didn't want to be put in danger, so it's better to be safe than sorry, yeah?

  
"I'm Michael, by the way. Can you tell me your name? If not, it's alright," introduced Michael (OK, so he _was_ allowed to call him that), a warm and welcoming smile on his features.

The name Jason set a shock through Jeremy, that was his father’s name. Still. Introductions. That was something Jeremy could, and would, do now that they had said they wouldn’t hurt him. For some reason, every instinct that was _natural_ was telling him that he could trust these people. That he should.

  
“I- I’m Jeremiah Noah Heere from Outer Sector 3 of the First Inside. My parents are Mariah Janet Jones Heere and Jason Richard Heere. I usually go by Jeremy.” Introductions were the only thing Jeremy could do properly. Though, he did feel he could be a bit less formal with these people, he didn’t need to devolve into rank and future job. They seemed nice enough that they wouldn’t get too upset if he left those out.

Even though he was sure he nailed his introduction, the others seemed confused by what he said, and even concerned if Michael's expression was anything to go off of. He did his best to suppress his panic, which was helped from that feeling that he should trust these people.

  
While the two behind Michael still seemed to be confused, Michael seemed to brush it off and give Jeremy that same smile, one that seemed to be helping him relax. "Ah, well it's nice to meet you, Jeremy," he said before sitting back a bit. "If you're gonna give all that, I can at least give you a little more-"

  
"Michael, no-"

  
"Michael yes, Jenna." OK, so Jeremy could at least put that name to a face, to the girl who had been talking this whole time. "Well, my full name is Michael Oliver Mell, and my friends here are Jenna Rolan-" He gestured to the girl who was seemingly in disbelief of all of this, before he pointed to the other girl who smiled and waved at Jeremy, her sweater practically covering her fingers. "-and this is Brooke Destiny Lohst."

  
"Hi there, Jerry!"

Jeremy frowned a little, he was sure that he hadn’t said all that much. Still, they were being friendly.

  
“It’s nice to meet you Michael, Jenna, Brooke, though I wish the circumstances were a little more pleasant.” Jeremy tugged at his bonds a little, hoping they would understand he was joking. He didn’t want to annoy these people. “I’m also sorry for not being more formal. After all, you three are hosting me, however strange it may be. If you want me to tell you my other details then please just ask.” There, that should be good enough. In fact, Jeremy felt a small, somewhat shy, smile creep on to his features. These people (kids almost, they were around his age at a guess) were nice. And they reminded Jeremy of his own friends, however different they may be.

For a moment, Michael looked like he wanted to say something, but raised a hand as he said, "Excuse me for a sec," before going over to and talking quietly with the two girls. He couldn't really make out what they were saying, but could see Michael moving his hands wildly as he talked, and could read the concerned expression Brooke seemed to bear, all while Jenna seemed to be stubborn about something.

  
After what seemed to be a minute or two, Michael turned back around and came over, squatting down beside him again as Brooke came and knelt behind his chair. "Uh, well, you're definitely being super formal, so if you wanna drop the formal act and be super casual, that's alright with us. Brooke's gonna untie you so you're a bit more comfortable, especially since you're not freaking out or anything. That sound good?"

“That... does sound nice. And I’m honestly just as surprised as you are about my own emotional state, by all reason I should be terrified, but I’m not.” Jeremy started, frowning a little, “Still, I don’t understand what you mean by my ‘formal act’? It- if anything I’ve been very informal with you. I didn’t state rank or my future job, and in all actuality I really should not have started crying in the first place. Even with my closest friends, it’s rarely different from our current level of interaction. The only one who ever treated me differently was- my father, Jason.” Jeremy knew he was babbling but he couldn’t help it. Confusion reigned supreme in his mind and he only paused long enough to nod a thanks to Brooke for untying him. He didn’t understand how they could all be so... fluid with their interactions. Michael had even used his hands while talking!

"Ah, sorry, my bad," Michael said with what seemed to be an apologetic smile, though Jenna seemed to be confused at his apology. "I guess that our definition of informal and yours are really different. I appreciate that you're being informal and comfortable with us, then."

  
"Yeah!" Brooke called out as she got up and went to stand back behind Michael, while Jenna seemed to want to say something.

  
She seemed to finally gather her nerves and make some sort of choice as she asked, "Uh, about your dad... What does he look like?"

For a second, Jeremy had to translate. Ah, that’s right. In old times, fathers were referred to as Dad by their children. Jeremy was a little taken aback by Jenna’s question but he tried his best to resolve a picture in his mind.

  
“He was... tall. Like me I suppose, though I’m quite short compared to my friend Jake. He had a sort of gingery brown hair, what was left of it. He was balding last I saw him. He was broad shouldered and he was getting a little on the wider side. We shared the same blue-grey eyes and the same shaped nose.” Jeremy paused, trying to recall more details. He frowned again when he found there were less than before. “I’m sorry, my shots seem to have started the erasure process. I suppose it has been a year since he went missing, but I am still hopeful I’ll see him again. He was the only... warm person in the Inside. In the same way Michael is warm.” Oh, that was a little much. Jeremy felt his cheeks redden a little in embarrassment. He surely had overstepped his boundaries with that comment. Still, he kept his posture, even if his body was screaming to curl in on itself. He was proud at the fact that he barely flinched.

Michael seemed to be taken aback by the last bit of Jeremy's statement, glancing away with what seemed to be color dusting his cheeks. Jenna and Brooke, meanwhile, were seeming to process the rest of what he said. Brooke seemed to be contemplating on if she wanted to say anything, but Jenna knew what she wanted to say as she cleared her throat. "Jeremy, I think your dad, Jason, he-"

The sound of a door being thrown open cut her off and before Jeremy could process, two large, warm hands were on his cheeks, turning his head this way and that with what seemed to be worry. A familiar stream of babble echoed around Jeremy’s head as he was fussed over by the only person he could confidently say truly loved him.

  
“Father?” Jeremy croaked out, tears pricking in his eyes again. The fussing stopped and Jason smiled down at Jeremy.

  
“Jeremy.” His tone was warm with relief and Jeremy couldn’t help himself. He launched himself into a hug, not caring that hugs were only for small children. He had missed his father, even if he hadn’t been allowed to say it. When two strong arms wrapped around him, Jeremy let his emotions go properly, not caring if he would be punished.

  
“I missed you, father! I missed you so much! I should have gone with you when you came to get me!” Jeremy was openly sobbing now but these tears were strange. It was happiness that was bubbling inside him, not fear, pain or sadness.

The other three his age seemed to back off for a bit, letting the scene naturally unfold. They seemed hesitant to even stay in the room, to be allowed to intrude on this personal and intimate reunion. Michael, surprisingly, seemed to be the most uncomfortable when Jeremy finally calmed down, looking away with a sad glint in his eye (something he knew also looked wrong on Michael's face).

  
After Brooke and Jenna seemed to exchange glances, they seemed to try to lead the trio away before Mr. Heere stopped them. "Oh, you three aren't getting away so easily, especially after finding my son."

Jeremy laid a hand on Jason’s arm.

  
“Father, it’s alright. I was in the woods, I couldn’t resist after you told me something would be there for me. Michael found me and brought me here, just to make sure I wasn’t going to be a danger.” Jeremy found himself smiling despite the small lie, he was genuinely happy. And he didn’t want his new friends (?) to get into trouble or possibly be punished. His father was the only adult present, after all, even if he didn’t believe in the punishments. Jeremy turned to look at the group, finally noticing Michael’s expression properly. “Wait, are you three all alright?”

The two girls seemed to debate saying anything as they glanced at each other, but Michael finally perked up, his saddened expression fading back to one like he had before when reassuring Jeremy. "Yeah, we're alright, thanks for worrying about us though. And we just wanted to give you and Jeremy some time alone so you two could catch up, Mr. Heere," Michael explained, shifting from Jeremy to his father with that same smile. "We were gonna come back."

  
"... Yeah," Jenna reassured, while Brooke nodded along with a warm smile.

“Alright.” Jeremy nodded, and Jason grinned throwing them a lazy salute. Jeremy was confused though, they were children, surely they didn’t outrank his father. And that salute was too sloppy to be real, but who would salute like that anyway? Jeremy’s head hurt as he tried to figure it all out, but he let it be for now. Instead, he turned to Jason as the others left the room.

  
“Father, I have something to tell you...” Jeremy figured that his father would not be too disappointed, “I... feel. I feel emotions other than the ones approved. I felt sadness when you left and happiness when you arrived here. I felt safe with Michael, Brooke and Jenna. And I get this strange feeling in my stomach telling me things like who to trust and when I should be scared. You’re the only one who was even slightly different from the other Insiders, I was hoping you could explain this to me?” Jeremy knew it wasn’t necessarily the _most_ pressing topic, but he somehow knew that the answer would help explain everything else to a point.

At Jeremy's explanation, Jason's eyes seemed to light up before he went and hugged his son once more. "Yes, I can definitely explain this to you, Jeremy. Oh god, I'm honestly relieved to hear this." That in itself was confusing to Jeremy, but he figured it would be best to let his father explain. After all, he wasn't disappointed like he should be, so maybe this was actually a good thing?

  
The two sat down in chairs, his father bringing one over from the side of the room before going into his explanation. "These emotions that you're feeling... They're natural, and what we should have been feeling this entire time. The shots we have to take, though, they suppress it because SQUIP doesn't want us feeling them to, well, keep us there and in line. There's something in us, though, our bloodline that helps us to break past that, and it's what helped me finally get out of there. I knew you'd eventually come too of your own free will, and that if I tried to bring you when I left, we'd both get caught and in trouble. I... I'm sorry, son, for not taking you when I left, but I'm so glad you're here now."

Jeremy was stunned. These feelings were... normal? And the SQUIP was stopping them? But why? Still, one question pushed forwards to the front of Jeremy’s mind and he couldn’t help but voice it.

  
“So I’m not broken, like mother told me? I’m actually... whole?” His voice was small and weak and oh so... something. Jeremy didn’t actually have a name for the feeling in his chest, but he really liked it. Like someone had lit a fire in the middle of the dark night, chasing away the shadows. He clutched desperately at his chest, trying to control his emotions just enough so he didn’t get overwhelmed. “Does that mean that Michael and Brooke and Jenna are whole too?”

The smile his father gave him filled him with more of that feeling he couldn't name, and he couldn't help but feel himself smiling in return as he was brought into another hug, one that was soft and gentle, soothing him. "You're not broken, Jeremy, and you never have been. You're whole, just like the others."

Jeremy let himself be held, clinging to his father almost desperately. He never knew how much he needed to hear that, to know that despite his differences, he was still okay. Jeremy’s mind was fuzzy from the influx of the nice emotions he was feeling. Vague memories danced in his head, from before he starts his shot, when he actually... was a lot more like Michael, or at least when his father was around. Jeremy suspected his father had actually wanted that in the first place.

  
“Thank you, dad.” The words flew out of his mouth faster than he could register them. He had said that once when he was very little, he suspected, and it had just bled through. He stiffened in Jason’s embrace, pulling away suddenly. He was about to babble an apology, explain himself when he saw his father’s surprised but exceedingly fond expression.

“I never thought I’d hear you call me that again, son.” He smiled, and Jeremy relaxed. He launched into an explanation of his life since his dad had been gone, including Chloe and Jake’s betrothal and the fact that Jeremy was chosen as the Brain for the 3rd sector. He had been proud of it at the time, but now he was less sure of that response.

His dad continued to listen to him then, sitting back and watching Jeremy talk about his life since he had vanished here. After he finished explaining what he had missed, Jason spoke up again. "I'm really glad to hear how things have gone for you, son, but..." He seemed to hesitate for a moment before asking, "Do you want to go back? I know this is sudden, you only came out here because of me asking you to a year ago, and I'd rather you be with me, but I..."

“No.” Jeremy was surprised at how fast he answered and how at firm he sounded, but he realized it was true. He had only been out for a little while but he somehow knew this was where he was meant to be. In the Inside, Jeremy was a freak with a glorious future. Out here, he was... good. And he didn’t know his future but it didn’t matter. For the first time, that feeling in his gut aligned perfectly with his view on reality. “I want to stay. Things always felt... wrong in the Inside. There was a part of me that felt so out of place, and I would question everything. Being here, for the first time things feel right. And I want to stay with you... dad.” Jeremy still wasn’t used to word, but he did like it. His dad’s reaction to is made it even better.

Jason smiled wide at that, and was about to say something in return before there was a gentle knock near the entrance to this room. "Uh, I'm sorry if you're in the middle of talking, but is it alright for us to come in?" asked the softer voice of Brooke. "We need to know what to do with Jeremy and if he's staying or not."

Jason shook his head, a small smile on his face as he got up and opened the door. Jeremy stood up too, feeling a little awkward but rather proud of himself for his choice, as his new friends shuffled in.

  
“I’m staying-” Jeremy stated, then amended it with, “if you’ll have me. I want to feel things properly and spend time with my... dad.” He choked a little on the word but once again, Jason’s grin made it worthwhile. “I want to do more than survive for once.” He finished with a sure nod and a small grin. He was already feeling more and more with every passing minute.

The three looked between each other for a minute, Jenna the most hesitant out of the trio, but they were all seemingly relieved overall. "You're welcome here with us, Jeremy," Michael reassured, smiling once again. "Before you can come back with us to our camp, though, we're going to have to, uh, try to remove all traces of the shot you've taken. You'll feel a lot better after, and that way, SQUIP can't be connected to you or anything. It'll take a while, and it won't be painful, more... boring, I guess, but your dad'll be here with you the entire time."

Jeremy nodded. It made sense, he supposed, considering that the shot suppressed emotions and was tied directly to the SQUIP’s network.

  
“Well it’s a good thing I missed my last booster then. I was low on funds to pay for it this month due to the betrothal present for Jake and Chloe. Being a Future Brain doesn’t pay very well, surprisingly.” That was a joke, right? Did he get the tone right? He had heard that Outsiders would make jokes when they were comfortable with one another, he really didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. Wait. “If I still have traces, that means they can find me! Once I don’t turn up tomorrow for my meeting they’ll come looking! I don’t want them to find me! I don’t want to go back!” Jeremy’s voice rose in both pitch and volume as panic overtook his relaxed demeanour.

"They won't find you here, don't worry," Jenna reassured from where she stood, despite not seeming to understand what 'being a Future Brain' meant. "We're in a silver mine, and it nulls anything from SQUIP, so there's no way anyone'll be able to track you or have any idea of where you are, especially once any trace of the stuff is gone."

  
"Yeah, you'll be OK, Jeremy," Michael echoed, resting a hand against his shoulder and gently squeezing, something his dad would do with him when he was younger to help him calm down when he used to be able to freely feel. "We won't let anything bad happen to you, I swear it."

His friends’ words helped calm Jeremy a bit, but what really got him was the contact. Jeremy was quickly finding that physical contact helped calm him when his emotions were going haywire, and it was just nice in general. He nodded, shoulders slumping a little, still being a little surprised at the lack of negative response.

  
“Okay, I trust you.” He shot Michael a small smile, his eyes twinkling with the actual intensity of his emotion, “I just have one more thing to ask of all of you. You too, dad.” He paused, taking a deep breath, his nose scrunching up a little. “Can you all help me to be less... formal? I know by my own standard I am not, but by yours I seem to be infinitely so.”

"Uh... Well, we can definitely try, though we don't care about you being held up to any standard here," Michael honestly answered, holding a reassuring smile on his features. "There'll be a lot of time to fill over the next week while we help speed up the process of getting that shit out of your system."

Jeremy felt himself melt a little at the smile, though he couldn’t place why. Instead, he just returned it, his expression eager and excited.

  
“You three have been so accommodating to me so far and well... I like the way you talk. It’s fluid and relaxed and there is emotion tied to every word. I want to be able to do that too.” Jeremy paused for a moment, thinking things through, he wanted to help. “If we need to fill time, I could always do something like draw up the structures of some of the SQUIPs systems? We were all told that Outsiders were rebels trying to take down the Inside, and I have intimate knowledge of the inner working thanks to my position. It that’s true, I can maybe offer some insight?” Jeremy could at least help out in exchange for their kindness.

At that, everyone's eyes seemed to widen at the information Jeremy could give them. "Holy shit, that would be so helpful," Jenna muttered out, seemingly thinking about something now as she walked to the side with Brooke.

  
"Shit, uh, yeah, that'd be great," Michael answered for everyone. "I mean, we can do that besides when we just talk to each other and stuff. What we're gonna be doing to help flush everything out of you doesn't require us to talk."

Jeremy’s grin only grew at the response. He was going to become proper friends with these people, get to spend time with his dad and he was going to help them all out in the process. This was going to be amazing.

  
“I can’t wait.”


	2. Jeremy's Soul Laid Bare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, we promised daily chapters (possibly two a day if we are feeling up to it), so we are delivering! No warnings this chapter, and I hope you guys enjoy it! Here's some lovely words from Mara (what_in_the):
> 
> 'I feel really proud of Jeremy right now, he’s already growing so much! I have kinda adopted him, so please be nice to my baby! Let us know what you think of this chapter in the comments!'
> 
> Yup, and don't forget to comment! Either one or both of us will respond! Enjoy! <3333

The following week was perhaps the most exciting of Jeremy’s life. He was poked and prodded with sticks his friends called wands, he was forced to drink strange smelling concoctions which actually tasted quite alright, and he had to stand still for hours on end holding colorful rocks.  
  


He had never had so much fun.

  
No matter what he was doing, someone was always with him, be it his dad or one of the three teenagers. Michael seemed to be the most common and the most comfortable around Jeremy, whereas Jenna was the least. Still, the first time he said ‘hi’ to her instead of hello seemed to break down a little of her apprehension.

  
Everyone talked to him. Whether to ask about his friends (he was a little worried about them if he were honest) or about the SQUIP (he knew about as much as any Future Brian, but that was way more than anyone else) or even just about what he liked, someone was always talking to him.

  
His talking improved too. It was surprisingly easy for Jeremy to learn the new speech patterns just from listening to other people talk. His dad and Brooke were the best help, in reality, though he did feel a little bias towards Michael. He felt a strange pull towards the boy, but he brushed it off for another time.

  
Finally, the week was over and Jeremy was finally told he could go to the camp.

  
He was buzzing with nerves the night before, and barely managed to get any sleep. What if the other Naturals didn’t like him (that is what Outsiders called themselves)? What if he messed up and he accidentally led the SQUIP to them because of his body still having a trace? What if Michael decided that he was too much work in the end and just left him here instead? By morning, Jeremy had managed a few hours of sleep, but little else. Luckily, sleepless nights weren’t uncommon for him, so he could function just fine.

Jeremy woke up in the bed they had made for him (it was similar to a makeshift hammock, though it was quite comfortable for the few hours he could sleep) by the sound of knocking on the door of the room he was residing in. It was soft, and held a pattern that Jeremy learned over the course of the week, and knew instantly who it was, making him perk up a bit. "Hello, I'm here to pick up one boy who is not as tall as me, has curly as hell hair, and is now SQUIP-free. Do you know where I may find said boy?"

Jeremy couldn’t help but giggle at Michael’s antics. He debated what to do, before climbing out of bed and making his way to the door. Opening it a crack, Jeremy peeked out with a small smile.

  
“I think I may have an idea, sir. He resides in this room, eager for your arrival!” Grabbing his grey blazer from the back of the door, Jeremy opened it fully, looking up at Michael with a bright grin. Then, Jeremy broke down laughing, that wheezing chuckled that Michael seemed to really like. Jeremy was feeling so proud though, he was making jokes and expressing emotions no problem now!

His efforts seemed to pay off, as Michael was practically beaming at him down at him, especially when he began laughing and joined in himself.

  
After a few more seconds of this, Michael took a deep breath and rested an arm across Jeremy's shoulder before walking down the expanse of the cavern's halls with him. "I was thinking that we'd go and walk with Brooke and eat some breakfast on the way back to our village. Jenna and a friend of ours are gonna be waiting for us three there, and they're gonna help us sorta make your case. It'll all be fine, Jere."

Jeremy nodded, already having been made away that his dad had to stay in the mines for safety reasons. He had worked too closely to the SQUIP and had a permanent trace on him because of it. 

  
“I trust you Michael, I know we’ll sort this all out!” Jeremy chirped brightly. He had discovered a lot about himself in this past week, including that he was always in a good mood around Michael. He gripped his blazer tightly, unwilling to shrug Michael’s arm off so he could slip it on. It wasn’t even cold anyway.

His friend just continued to beam at him, eventually leading them out of the cave to where Brooke was waiting. Michael let go of Jeremy to grab the food she had, allowing him enough time to put on his blazer before he was given some container of nuts, berries, and seeds, as well as some dried meat. "We would've brought something better, but this stuff is easier to eat on-the-go," Brooke explained before they started their trek back, which he was reassured wasn't going to take too long.

Jeremy nodded, happily eating what he was given. Even something as simple as this was pure ambrosia to him. The food on the Inside was very bland, and while it fulfilled every nutritional requirement, there was no joy in eating it. Jeremy made sure to voice these thoughts.

  
“I swear Brooke, this is soooo good! I feel like my entire being is going to melt into a happy, well fed puddle.” Joking was a lot easier for him, even if this particular statement wasn’t too far from the truth. Jeremy munched on his breakfast thoughtfully as he explored what sort of flavors and textures he was experiencing.

She seemed to perk up at that, giggling a little at the joke he was making as well. "Ah, thanks! Chrissy helped me since I sorta woke up late this morning. Oh, I can't wait for you to meet her!"

  
Before Jeremy's confusion on who this 'Chrissy' was voiced, Michael rested his arm back over Jeremy's shoulder, leaning down and loudly whispering, "Chrissy is the friend I was talking to you about. She's also Brooke's girlfriend who she is in love with. They're really cute together." At that, Brooke broke out into flustered sputtering, waving her hands at Michael as he just grinned before taking a bite of his dried meat.

Jeremy felt his stomach twist a little, but not in disgust like most people from the Inside would have. He didn’t know what the feeling was, if he was being honest, he was still learning what each of them meant. 

  
“Wait, so you’re both women, and you’re together? And you actually _love_ each other?” Jeremy was in a mild state of shock. “I... didn’t know that was something that could happen. On the Inside, people are paired up by the system and their only goal is to have kids.” Jeremy seriously hoped he wasn’t being offensive, he just really didn’t understand. He really wanted to know more though, like… “Are there men who also love men?” he asked.

The two seemed displeased at something, and for a moment, Jeremy was scared he said something completely out of line. He was ready to curl up into himself and apologize until he felt the gentle squeeze on his shoulder from Michael, bringing him back down to a calmer state of mind. 

  
"Yeah, we're both really happy and love each other. We've been together for a few years now," Brooke explained, a smile returning to her face as she talked about her girlfriend. "God, she's so adorable, I-"

  
"Brooke, I love 'ya, but if you keep gushing about her, you're gonna go off on a tangent until we get there." Brooke just nodded then, nibbling on some berries as Michael continued. "And yeah, you're lookin' at one. I'm a big ol' certified gay guy." Michael seemed to be prideful of that fact, if his tone of voice and goofy grin were indicators. 

  
"Also, gotta say that the pairing of people only to keep making kids? That's fucked up." Brooke nodded in agreement as she seemed to move on to eating some seeds. "You should only be with someone if you really love and care for them, y'know? Plus, not everyone wants kids, which is alright. Chrissy and Brooke definitely don't want 'em, and that's OK!"

“Yeah I have to agree. Jake and Chloe are good friends, or as good as you can be Inside, but they’re certainly not good romantic partners and I’m not sure how they would be as parents anyway. I was lucky, I wasn’t going to be given a partner and I wasn’t expected to have kids because of my Future Job.” Jeremy tended to still fall back into a more formal tone when he was thinking or figuring things out. “And men who like men are gay?” He tested out the word. He kinda liked it. “What if someone likes boys and girls, is there a word for that?” He was eager to learn more about these ways of loving. 

Michael seemed as eager as Jeremy to let him know all of these things, and wasn't touching up on the things about the Inside yet. "Well, that means you're bisexual. If you're not limited in any choices with sex or gender, you're pansexual," the other boy explained as he waved around his food in his hand, not spilling anything. "I'm guessing that you're asking because you might not be straight? If you are, that's totally cool, but I guess I'm just curious."

“Yes, and I’m pretty sure one of my friends wasn’t either.” Jeremy mused, thinking about how Rich would stare at Jake when he thought no one was looking. Then he thought back to himself. “I think women are... objectively attractive. I can see the appeal, but I’ve never felt a pull to them before. Never had the intention to sleep with one either. But... there was one guy I did find physically attractive. I brushed it off as admiration but now I’m not sure.” He thought back to when he would ogle Jake when he thought no one was looking. And he thought to how Michael made his stomach twist with nerves and excitement where he was near. “I am certain I have had an emotional attraction to a guy before, though.” He stated, leaving it vague. He didn’t want to force this on Michael, not yet. He still wanted to figure out where he fit into this world for now, not pursue a relationship... yet.

His friends seemed to cheer for him, Michael even squeezing his shoulders in excitement. "Well, I'm glad you're able to admit that and help realize a bit more about yourself! I know I had this 

feeling of relief when I realized I was a lesbian, which is basically the term for when a girl loves girls. Even if you don't know _exactly_ what you are or just don't wanna put a label on yourself, we all support 'ya!"

Jeremy was glad they didn’t push, not sure how he would get around his... crush? Was that the right word? Sounded like something he’d heard before. He grinned, the praise and support making his face light up in a bright blush. Internally, Jeremy filed away the word Gay to try out later.

  
“Thanks. Now, tell me a bit about Chrissy? She must be really special if someone as awesome as you like her, Brooke.” Jeremy meant every word. He really did think the world of Michael, Brooke and Jenna.

At that, Brooke's eyes lit up, and Michael just smiled as he walked with the trio, eating his breakfast as the girl broke out into eager praise as she described everything about Chrissy, from her looks to her love of nature to her theatrics and positivity. Almost the rest of the walk was filled with the praise Brooke was singing about her girlfriend, creating such an adoring and loving atmosphere for the trio.

  
As they got close to an area that was seeming to have trees thinning out more, Brooke's tangent had died out and they were all finishing their food. "OK, so we're going to be making your case for 'ya, Jere. Just go along with it and you'll be fine," Michael reassured, patting his shoulder before pulling his arm away. "Jenna's good at convincing people."

Jeremy felt a little upset about the loss of contact, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he nodded, trusting his friends to look after him. Jeremy had opened his mouth to say as much when a small, hyperactive figure suddenly launched itself at Brooke.

  
“Boo! You’re back already!” The figure, Chrissy at a guess if her description was anything to go by, babbled happily, wrapping her arms around Brooke. Jeremy looked at Chrissy. She was short, and had a similar coloring to Michael, but with slightly lighter skin. Objectively, she was beautiful and Jeremy was sure that if he were attracted to girls, he would be attracted to her. However, he wasn’t so he didn’t feel a thing.

  
“Umm. Hi. I’m Jeremy.” He mumbled, feeling suddenly awkward. This was the first person who wasn’t his friend that he had interacted with since losing his SQUIP shot. He was nervous.

The shorter girl looked over then, blinking a few times before removing herself from her girlfriend to grin widely at Jeremy. "Heya, Jeremy! I've heard a lot of good things about you! Oh, I hoped you liked breakfast, we need to go out to the market and get some more things, so I just sorta got together what we had for you guys this morning before Boo left!" After speaking, she seemed to blink before narrowing her eyes, which made Jeremy squirm where he stood. "Uh... where was I?"

  
"Your n-"

  
"Oh, right! I'm Christine, but my friends call me Chrissy and Brooke calls me Cutie! It's nice to meet you!" she finally got out, holding her hand up to Jeremy with her blinding smile.

Jeremy blinked, a little overwhelmed, but the one thing he prided himself of were his manners, and he wasn’t about to stop that now. He grabbed her hand in a firm but kind handshake.

  
“It’s a pleasure to meet you Christine. I’ve heard so much about you,” he managed to say that with some confidence. It all but shriveled up when Chrissy pulled him into a quick hug.

  
“Any friend of Boo’s is a friend of mine! You can call me Chrissy!” she giggled, “Oh! And I’m sorry if I’m a little over the top, I know emotions aren’t really a thing where you’re from and my ADD can be overwhelming for someone who’s used to me.” She relaxed Jeremy to quickly chatter with Brooke, her current topic apparently vanishing from her mind. Jeremy stepped back next to Michael, who had been watching with some amusement. Jeremy shot him a weak glare, before sighing.

  
“Michael, what’s ADD? I don’t want to seem rude in front of Chrissy, but I don’t understand,” he whispered the moment Chrissy was distracted enough by Brooke.

"It's Attention Deficit Disorder, which means she has trouble paying attention sometimes, standing still, and a bunch of other things. None of us really mind it or care though, it's just a part of who she is," Michael explained, giving a teasing yet reassuring smile. 

  
Once he finished, he looked over to Chrissy and Brooke. "Hey, Chrissy, where's Jenna?"

Jeremy took a second to ponder what he had been told. A mental disorder? He had always been told those had been eradicated centuries ago, and that anyone who suffered from one was automatically dangerous. Christine seemed the furthest thing from dangerous, though, so Jeremy just put that information away as another lie he had been told.

  
“Jenna is right here, Michael,” Jenna called, startling everyone, “Chrissy just decided to run off the moment she saw Brooke. I hung back and tried to get my tablet working. I had the case for Jeremy in here, but I can’t get it to work!” Jenna was scowling at the piece of technology in her hands. Jeremy peered over and it was indeed a tablet, an old one that seemed to have been heavily modified possibly to work on solar energy instead of their short life batteries. Still, Jeremy knew he could get that working, no problem. So instead of saying anything, he just wandered over to Jenna and plucked the tablet from her and began fiddling. She might still be cautious around her, but he doubted that she would freak out about this.

  
“Looks like you have some loose connections between the tablet and the solar panel. It’s a pretty simple fix. And it also looks like one of the solder joints has come away, so you’ll need to fix that as soon as possible. We should still have enough contact for now and... eureka!” The tablet powered on and began charging up, much to Jenna’s delight.

A low whistle could be heard from Michael, all while Brooke was gasping ever so slightly in awe. "Well, I guess being Inside and being so smart definitely helps with your tech know-how," Michael mused out as Christine was bouncing on the balls of her feet in interest before she dashed over and was hopping up to look at the now-fixed tablet.

  
"That's so cool, Jeremy! How were you able to do that? Do you think you could try teaching us some of that? We don't really know much about technology like this since we're out here, only a few people are really good at it like Jenna and Michael-"

  
"I'm sure he'd love to _after_ he's been welcomed in," Michael gently cut her off, though that seemed to please the girl as she just grinned and began thanking Jeremy for something he himself didn't even agree to yet.

Jeremy picked up on the compliment Michael causally gave him, his cheeks lightly flushing. Christine’s question did cause him to pause though. He enjoyed working with tech, that was part of why he got his job assignment, but he wasn’t too sure about teaching people about it. Of course, if Michael or Brooke or even Chrissy were there (he had grown fond of her already) he could probably do it. Maybe. People were hard enough to deal with on the inside without emotions to factor in. 

  
“It’s nothing too special.” Jeremy shrugged, a gesture he had picked up from Michael, “you should see me when it came to rerouting the power for my sector. Now that was an impressive feat.” A little pride leaked into his tone, and he smiled a little too.

  
“Okay, that’s really great Jeremy, but now we need to review the case that we are going to make for you.” Jenna took charge, obviously wanting things to go well. She was still a little... unsure about Jeremy, but he had certainly won her trust, if her reactions to him were anything to go by.  
  


“I explain how he’s one of us who lived in secret in the outer sectors.” Chrissy nodded to herself, surprisingly focused. “I heard rumors and you guys went to check him out.”

  
“I made sure he was clean of all traces of the SQUIP before we even spoke to him.” Jenna ticked something off on her tablet.

After Jenna, Michael spoke up. "I explain how I approached you, trying to figure out why you were here and if you had a reason. You had no real reason for being out here besides surviving after being abandoned as a kid-"

  
"It's because they don't know about your dad, he's a secret for now and has been helping us in our cause," Brooke explained.

  
"-And you've just been surviving in different houses, and you had no clue about us Naturals until now. Just to be sure of everything and to help save you, I took you to the silver mines so we could purify you."

  
Brooke nodded in agreement to what Michael was saying before finishing up. "Yup, and I'm the one who lead in your purification process!"

“Well that does seem pretty close to the truth actually! So I won’t actually really have to lie if they ask me anything.” Jeremy nodded, feeling a little more confident. He was a little surprised when Jenna placed a hand on his arm, her face serious.

  
“Come on. They’re expecting you.” Jeremy was lead through the forest, picking through the trees as they slowly thinned out even more, until they reached a clearing about twenty feet in diameter. The trees on the other side were much bigger than anything Jeremy had ever seen, easily the size of the apartment blocks back on the Inside and then some.

  
“This section of the forest has been here for over a thousand years! That’s why everything is so big. It’s where we live.” Chrissy must have seen Jeremy’s confusion and awe. They reached the bottom of one of the trees and started up on the wooden staircase that wound its way up. Follow its path with his gaze, Jeremy saw a multitude of houses hidden away in the canopy of the forest, all connected with solid looking bridges and platforms. There were a good number of people of all ages and races looking down at his party, watching him specifically with mistrust.

As he saw these people staring down at the group, more specifically him, Jeremy could feel himself growing nervous again. Before it became too much, however, he felt the reassuring touch of Michael on his shoulder as the group walked together, past the other Naturals who were doing their own daily routines. He couldn't help but relax into Michael's touch, glancing back over his shoulder to try to throw a smile his way, though was already met with the goofy grin he was learning to love.

  
It didn't take too long for them to reach what seemed to be the grandest building in the canopy, complete with intricate detailing and carvings along the building itself. Jenna lead the group as they walked in and down a hall, eventually turning into a room where some people who clearly held the most authority in this community sat, obviously waiting for them.

The council was comprised of five adults, including a woman who looked remarkably like Michael. She actually smiled at him, which relaxed Jeremy more than it maybe should have. It was the eyes, he concluded silently to himself, they were too warm and kind to be anything but relaxing normally. The wizened women in the middle of the table looked a lot less comforting.

  
“Michael Mell, why is it you have brought a Child of the Controlled into our safe haven? Surely, as my successor you know better than to even go close to their cities.” Her voice rasped and croaked like an old raven, but Jeremy shuddered at the sheer power contained within. He could sense it, somehow, like a tangible energy glowing in the air.

  
“Elder Partridge, please. Jeremy isn’t a threat to anyone, he’s scared and he’s been alone for so long. Just... let us explain. Please.” Jenna sounded surprisingly sincere and Jeremy felt his love for her grow even more. The woman, Elder Partridge, sighed and nodded stiffly.

  
“You may explain, but out judgement at the end shall be final. Either the boy is allowed to stay or all his memories will be removed of this place and he shall be sent back. Are you clear?” 

Everyone except Jeremy nodded. He was frozen, his head buzzing painfully, he didn’t want to forget all of this. He didn’t want to forget his dad or his friends or how to feel. He didn’t want to forget Michael. As though they didn’t notice his sudden panic, the group began explaining their case.

Everyone seemed to have practiced proving this case many times, as they seemed to go through this with ease and elegance, if Jeremy could even dare to think that. Different sides of each of these people were shown, whether they be powerful, very exposed, or a kind of seriousness he couldn't imagine them bearing from the loving and kindness he's been shown.

  
Time seemed to pass rather slowly (or maybe quickly? All of the looks and glances he was being given while his friends were giving their case for him weren't helping his nerves), and he did his best not to let his nervousness show through his ticks and fidgets he had become more accustomed to showing around his friends. His friends were all doing well, and they were providing him a solid and amazing case, but what if the majority of the people here just didn't want him here? What if they didn't want to take a chance, or were spiting someone or himself specifically? What if they just didn't like how he looked? All these 'what-if' questions kept buzzing around in his head, distracting him as Brooke finally finished her piece and the council turned their full attention to him.

“Well then, Mr. Heere, you have an excellent defense. I would like to ask you a few questions now.” Jeremy was dimly aware of someone speaking, sounding similar to the croak of a raven. He couldn’t respond. His head buzzed painfully and his body shook where it stood.

  
“Jeremy?” A warm point of contact on his arm, relaxing but not enough. This was all too much. He couldn’t lose his memories. He didn’t want to go back!

  
“Jere?” A much more intimate tone, sweet and worried. He couldn’t respond though, he had to be good enough that they would let him stay and oh what if they didn’t?

  
“Let the boy see the way back, let the light lead him home.” The raven was back, and Jeremy suddenly became very aware of a bright light in front of his eyes, pulsing a pure white. It felt wrong, like it was trying to get into his head. It wanted to take his memories! He couldn’t let it! 

He felt his chest being pulled forwards, his head and arms thrown back from the force of the movement. Two points of view suddenly resolved themselves in his mind. The view from his eyes, dim and tinted with a bright blue, and the much clearer, much more powerful view from... somewhere else. Jeremy didn’t understand, all he knew was that from that other view, everyone around him was glowing with brilliant lights. Where Brooke would be was a soft, yellow glow, and Chrissy had a gentle green. Jenna was a powerful purple. Beside him, Michael’s beautiful red light outshined everyone else’s, save for the white glow at the table, and Jeremy saw his own blue glow, almost matching the intensity of Michael’s. 

Then the moment snapped and Jeremy slumped forwards, suddenly feeling very exposed and very weak. Silence reigned as Michael grabbed his chest to stop Jeremy from collapsing entirely.

He could faintly hear everyone else talking around him, though he couldn't really decipher the voices from one another as they were muddled in his brain. The only one he could pick out was Michael, as he was right beside him, and he could feel the warmth against his chest after some time (he wasn't sure how long), as his tone was full of worry.

  
"-ou hear me? Jere? 

, say something, respond somehow," the other called out, and he felt the other's hand hesitantly and slowly touch his head, moving his head up from the slumping downward position that, if he was let to hang like that for a bit longer, would've created an irritating crick in his neck.

Jeremy blinked slowly, and tried to focus on Michael. He looked worried, although it was kind of hard to tell, everything was so blurry.

  
“Michael? What happened?” Jeremy tried to say, but it felt like his mouth and head were full of cotton, so it came out more like ‘Micah? Wha- hapen?’. With a groan, Jeremy pulled himself closer to Michael, trying to stand up. His body was responding again, albeit slowly. His hearing refocused and suddenly Jeremy was bombarded with quiet, urgent whispers. He couldn’t tell what they were saying, but they sounded either scared or concerned. He hoped they were just worried about the fact he had apparently collapsed instead of whatever just happened. He could scarcely remember what it was though.

He felt himself be pulled closer, pulling him from his scare memories as he was so close to the warmth Michael gave off. Looking up at his face, trying to take it in, he could make out a few things: surprise, wonder, and concern. 

  
"You... Well, they tried using a spell on you, it wasn't anything bad, but I think..." Michael seemed to nurse his lip for a second as he thought and glanced around, seemingly at everyone else, before he spoke again. "We knew you had magic in your system, otherwise you wouldn't have been resistant to the shots, but your soul just... defended itself in a way? It took a lot of your energy because it sorta hasn't been used before, and it formed in front of us, and it... it was one of the most powerful ones I've ever seen, Jere," he finished, whispering with awe now in his tone of voice.

Jeremy tried to process what he was being told, but it was hard. His brain still felt fuzzy, but one thing did make it through.

  
“I can’t be powerful, Micah. I’m just me. You’re the special one.” He frowned, nuzzling into Michael’s warmth subconsciously. “I thought they were going to steal my memories... I don’t want to go back there, I didn’t realize how scary it was until I got out. I wanna stay here with you and Brooke and Jenna and Chrissy...” Jeremy felt exhausted, and it meant his filters slipped a little. He barely even remembered that there was anyone other than Michael around, the voices easily slipping into the background. He buried himself in Michael’s hoodie, wanting to go to sleep while he was feeling so nice and safe and warm being held by Michael.

There was a brief silence, and Jeremy just listened to the soft breathing of Michael, easing his exhausted mind a bit more. He only hummed when he felt Michael's grip tighten a little, pulling him closer to the warmth and safety. "I... We'll talk about that later, but Jeremy, you're going to be fine, I won't let you go back there." 

  
Jeremy glanced up, seeing the other's face so close to him, his face contorted with worry. He frowned himself at that, not liking to see him anything but excited and giddy. Before he could do anything, though, he watched Michael's face move to look ahead. At who, Jeremy had no clue, and he didn't really care because Michael promised he'd be fine, which meant he could stay in his arms and sleep, right?

Jeremy took a deep breath, enjoying that he was surrounded by everything Michael. Michael’s hoodie, Michael’s warmth, Michael’s smell. Just... Michael. He felt so safe and Michael had promised he would be safe and he trusted Michael so much. 

  
Jeremy felt himself start to sway, even being held so tightly by Michael. The world looked like it was spinning, and suddenly Jeremy felt it all tip sideways. For a moment, he thought he heard Michael’s panicked shouts, but it was too far away to be real. Darkness consumed his vision and mind, even as a small smile graced his features.


	3. Settling In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, we get some good shit in this chapter. Some very tender moments and sweetness that I adore. Near the end comes a more serious moment near the end where there are panic-attack elements, though it's mentioned beforehand. It's not a big one, though it is based off of some of my own experiences to a milder degree, so be careful!  
> Be sure to comment below and let us know how you're enjoying the series so far, and thanks for over 100 hits already! It means the world to us, really.  
> Also, a word from our lovely Mara (what_in_the):
> 
> 'This was one of my favourite chapters to write overall, simply because we finally get a chance to see a deeper level to Michael and get to see Jeremy learn more about his emotions. Hope you enjoy this taster of what’s to come!'

Jeremy became aware of several things all at the same time, before he had even opened his eyes. Firstly, he was lying in a bed, a proper bed and it was exceedingly comfortable. Second, he had passed out earlier because he had done magic or something? The details were slightly fuzzy, but he did distinctly remember Michael mentioning magic. Which lead perfectly to the third point. Jeremy had totally embarrassed himself by being so clingy to Michael. Brilliant. With a muffled groan, Jeremy opened his eyes and slowly sat up, looking around at where he had been taken.

 

When he looked around, he saw a lot of muted colors, which helped him with readjusting to everything as he opened his eyes. It took him a few moments to realize this must be the community's hospital of sorts, with the charts they held and other various tools and such that resembled less technological versions of tools and machines he'd seen before.

  
Jeremy looked to his right, and was able to take in the sight of someone in a chair, pulled forward to sit closer to his own bed. Once his eyes registered the bright red, he knew Michael was there in the chair, curled in on himself as he slept. Looking down, he followed his arm to see a hand rest on the edge of his bed, some sheets loosely curled around his fingers as he softly snored.

Michael looked so peaceful laying next to Jeremy. He was usually always moving, always energized, but here as he slept, it was like everything had been muted in the best way. Like he was recharging, a softer version of him awake. Jeremy felt the undeniable urge to take Michael’s hand, and he felt that strange twist of his stomach which he had finally labelled as attraction. Still bleary from just waking up, Jeremy didn’t see anything wrong with taking Michael’s hand, it was comforting and just generally nice to have contact with Michael. So he reached over and lightly intertwined their fingers, knowing that he was just asleep enough that it wouldn’t startle him awake.

  
“Michael? Time to wake up, sleepyhead,” Jeremy murmured, his tone soft, a small smile on his lips.

The other shifted a little where he sat, but just stayed as he was with the exception of nuzzling his head against his own shoulder that he was using as a pillow and his fingers unconsciously tightening around Jeremy's. His glasses moved a bit at the action, but they were already positioned awkwardly from however long Michael had been asleep for.

  
After the gentle attempt to wake the other, Jeremy could hear a gentle knock on the door, followed by a voice he didn't know asking, "Hello? Is anyone up in there? Can I come in?"

Jeremy started lightly running his fingers through Michael’s hair in hopes of either waking him or just making him feel nice. Upon hearing the voice, he cleared his throat a little and raised his voice ever so slightly, not enough to disturb Michael apparently, but enough to be heard.

  
“Hello. Yes, you can come in. Just... be quiet. Michael is sleeping.” Jeremy looked down at his friend fondly, loving how cute Michael looked right then. He didn’t want the moment to be lost. He didn’t stop playing with Michael’s hair though, it was too soft! As the door opened slowly, Jeremy looked back up to see who was coming to visit him.

The person who came in slowly and quietly opened the door, shutting it behind them before looking to Jeremy. "How are you feeling? You were pretty exhausted from what I was told by the council and your friends," the person asked, who Jeremy figured must work at the facility by their outfit, which seemed to vaguely resemble a nurse's outfit. "If you're alright with it, I just need to do a quick check-up to make sure you're feeling a lot better, and then you can wake up Michael and you two should be good to go." As the nurse mentioned Michael, they glanced over at Jeremy's hand moving through his hair before smiling and looking back at Jeremy with a look he couldn't quite decipher.

Jeremy shrugged off the look, considering asking Michael about it later, then thought about what’s happened.

  
“I feel a little disoriented, but only because I didn’t know where I was. Otherwise, I feel actually really good. Really well rested.” Jeremy paused, thinking about the request for a check up. “I should be fine with a check up, just please be careful around my neck? I have... scars there. It’s sensitive.” In actuality, Jeremy had a lot sensitive tissue around the back of his neck, the skin burnt and raised slightly. It wasn’t noticeable unless you specifically touched it or were looking for it, but he was very aware of it. They would use the equivalent of shock collars on children who didn’t take to the shots very well to help train them into obedience. Needless to say, with his curiosity and his emotional disposition, Jeremy had been one of those children. He didn’t let anyone near his neck unless he had to these days.

The nurse nodded in understand to Jeremy's explanation and warning, giving a reassuring smile to him. "I don't think I'll need to check near there, so you should be fine. If I ever end up getting too close for comfort, though, just let me know, alright?" With that, the nurse got their materials and went through the motions of what was a routine check up for Naturals: checking his breathing and heartbeat, reflexes, temperature (though not with a thermometer like he was used to), and other things that held some familiarity to Jeremy.

  
"Alright, you look good and ready to go. I'm going to head out and check on some others, and I'll leave waking Michael up to you. So you know, you two are supposed to stick together, but Michael'll explain it better to you since that's really all I was told when you were brought in." With a soft smile and wave, the nurse left the two alone again.

Jeremy waved after the nurse, smiling a little. Everyone he had met so far (besides at the hearing but that was a weird circumstance) had actually been really nice. Jeremy lightly scratched his fingers through Michael’s hair, just firmly enough to not tickle. He reached over with his other hand and lightly shook Michael’s shoulder.

  
“Michael, it’s time to get up. I’ve been discharged and I need to stick with you so come on!” Jeremy couldn’t help the excitement that was leaking into his voice. He wanted to go and explore! He wanted to see the world that Michael had grown up in, see how things were supposed to be in a community.

After all of that, he finally got a reaction out of Michael. The other grumbled and curled further into himself, and his hand would have pulled back to himself if not for Jeremy's grip on it. "Mm... Lemme sleep s'more," was what he managed to get out from where his face was buried into his hoodie, partially muffled and obscured by a yawn.

Jeremy giggled a little, running his fingers a little firmer through Michael’s hair. It was super soft and he had half forgotten he was even doing it.

  
“But Michael, I want to explore! I want you to show me everything!” Jeremy whined playfully, before getting an idea. “Michael, please wake up?” He leaned in close to Michael’s face, knowing he was getting a little in his personal space. That was the point. If he got close enough, Michael might wake up from feeling uncomfortable. Still, his voice was sweet and smooth, and he was grinning softly. His hand, which had still been clasped in Michael’s, lightly prodded his shoulder again.

Grumbling a bit now, Michael seemed to finally be reacting and waking thanks to Jeremy's efforts. He blinked a few times, seemingly to get his bearings, before making some sort of noise and jolting awake thanks to the close proximity. "Holy shit, hi Jeremy," he said before fixing his glasses with his free hand.

  
It seemed to take a second for what he said to hit him before launching over and wrapping Jeremy into a hug, no matter how odd it was with their current position. "Oh my god, you're alright, thank god," Michael muttered out before pulling back and looking at him. "You're not feeling tired or drained or anything, right? You're alright, right?"

Jeremy giggled as Michael hugged him, hugging back just as tightly. As always, he was upset when Michael pulled away, but he focused on Michael’s questions instead.

  
“Hey hey, calm down. I feel fine, I promise. I actually feel better rested than I have in years if I’m honest. And I feel... peaceful? I can’t quite explain it, but I feel so calm in a way I didn’t before. Like something clicked into place. But see? My heart’s still beating.” Jeremy pulled Michael’s hand up to his chest, letting him feel Jeremy’s solid, regular heartbeat. Then, his expression faltered a little, dropping from a large grin down to a smaller, slightly bemused smile. “What even happened back there, Michael? I can barely remember. All I know is that one minute, I was scared out of my mind, the next I felt... strong. And safe, and the next I was about to pass out on you.”

Taking this all in, Michael's relief was evident. "Well, I'm glad you're feeling so good, Jere, but uh, with what happened..." He glanced to the doorway for a second, as if checking something. "I'll explain it better when we're able to go back to the base, but for now, I'll just let you know that what happened let them agree to you staying, but they're still being cautious and all that. Until they can truly trust you, you're sorta stuck with me in the community as they watch over you, so you're sorta gonna be stuck here for a bit. Sorry about that, but Jenna and the others are working behind the scenes, so it'll give you time to relax and learn stuff around here, at least."

Jeremy nodded, trusting Michael knew best in this situation. Jeremy looked down at himself, thinking about how different he looked to everyone else. People here wore mostly colors, black and white were present, but they weren’t the primary scheme.

  
“That actually sounds great. I really wanna see the place you grew up in properly. But I do have a request?” Jeremy tugged at the collar of his still pristine shirt. “I would like to get some new clothes if we can? I know these are self cleaning and all that, but I’m really finding I prefer colors? This just sort of makes me look all pale and sick.”

At his request, Michael seemed to laugh for a moment before getting up and stretching his arms up above his head. "Mm, I don't agree with you looking pale and sick, more like charming and slick, but yeah, I'd love to see some color on 'ya. We can get you some clothes and then I'll show you around a little, and we can continue tomorrow since it looks like the sun'll be setting soon."

Jeremy felt his face heat up, both from the compliment and the little sigh of contentment Michael let out once he finished stretching. He quickly looked away, hoping to hide his blush.

  
“That sounds great.” Jeremy’s voice cracked just a little as he spoke. Now, Jeremy did get voice cracks occasionally, but it was only usually when he was overwhelmed at this point. He really hoped Michael didn’t pick up too much on it. “Wait, where will I be sleeping? I hardly can go back to the base when I’m going to be under surveillance.”

Confusion blossomed on the other's face until he let out a small ' _oh_!', and it seemed he missed Jeremy's crack or ignored it, which was a win for him ( _whew_ ). “You're technically living here, so you're gonna be living with someone. You typically build your own place if you're a new family or just independent person, but you can choose that later. For now, they want you stickin' with me, so you're gonna be sleeping in my place with my mom and I, if that's alright with you." As he explained, Michael reached down and grabbed a small bag, presumably left by one of their friends while Michael was waiting for Jeremy to wake, before getting up and turning to smile at Jeremy.

“That sounds... awesome.” Jeremy couldn’t have kept the gratitude and happiness out of his voice if he wanted to. He was bubbling inside, just from the sheer emotions that Michael’s offer had stirred. He twisted until his legs hung off the side of the bed, swinging them slightly to test how strong they felt. Seemed okay enough, so he slowly put weight on them, making sure he used all his old techniques to get up strong. He noticed that Michael was watching him carefully, half worried, half confused. He waved him off, not wanting Michael to worry about him falling.

  
“Oh, I used to pass out a lot as a kid. Shocks combined with my near constant headaches from that time weren’t a good combination.” Maybe that had been a little cheery, but it was in the past now. He didn’t pass out much at all anymore. Jeremy stood up fully, confident that his body was back in top condition.  


"Uh... alright," Michael said, worry in his tone. He quickly replaced it with his normal cheery tone, however, as his goofy lopsided grin took over and he walked to the door, opening it and bowing ever so slightly. "After you, my good sir," he said in a teasingly formal voice, glancing up at Jeremy, and it was obvious he was trying hard to contain his laughter.

“Thank you, sir, you gentility is greatly appreciated.” Jeremy marveled a little at how hard it was to keep up the formalities after even a week of speaking _fluid_ , as he liked to call it. He walked past Michael, head held high and back perfectly straight (he was a little worried he might be developing a small slouch). After a second, he broke down laughing, it petering out to giggles rather quickly. “Dork.” He chuckled, ruffling Michael’s hair fondly, his head being in easy reach thanks to his bow.

There was a second of hesitance from Michael as he coughed, standing up then as he quickly adjusted his glasses. "Yeah, but I'm _your_ dork," Michael practically cooed back, chuckling in his goofy way before starting to walk out of their hospital-like establishment with him.

  
As they walked by, they saw some people smile and wave while others glanced and seemed to be observing them (more so Jeremy than Michael). That didn't make Jeremy feel the best, but he knew it was a step in the right direction, and that this wouldn't be for forever. Instead of looking away, Jeremy smiled and waved back to everyone, even those who only watched. He could hear Michael snicker from his side whenever someone was taken aback by it and looked away.

Jeremy kept close to Michael the whole time, close enough that their hands would brush regularly. It helped keep him grounded when his emotions flared and it also helped satisfy the weird part of him that was hyper-focused on what Michael had said. ‘I’m your dork.’ It echoed around his rib cage, getting the slightly possessive return of ‘mine’. A part of him really liked that. He didn’t really understand what the feeling was, but for some reason he wanted to keep it to himself for now.

  
Michael led him to a fancy looking shop which was actually set directly into a large oak tree, closer to the ground than a lot of the other buildings. Jeremy could see the word ‘Seamstresses’ carved into the sign, and spotted a small sign in the window. ‘No payment necessary’.

"Hey, before we go in, there's gonna be a _bunch_ of color with fabric and stuff, so if it gets overwhelming or anything, let me know," Michael informed him once he got his attention before leading him into the shop.

  
And boy was he right about it being full of color. There were walls lined shelves that held different types and colors of fabric, from faint to bright, going in a color-chromatic order from lightest at the top to darkest at the bottom. There were also different mannequins modeling different outfits, ones the seamstresses here probably made in their own spare time. No wall was left bare, and though it took a minute to take it all in, Jeremy was in awe at everything available to him.

Jeremy grabbed Michael’s hand, partly because he was a little overwhelmed, partly because he had never seen so much color before in his life, and he wanted to sort of... share his experience? It was a hard desire to put into words.

  
“It’s all so pretty...” Jeremy murmured, his eyes wide as he looked around in awe.

  
“Ah, yes, I thought I would be seeing you sometime soon. Come over here, duck, I’ll sort you out something nice.” A small, old woman poked her head around one of the mannequins, smiling softly. Her voice was sweet and Jeremy instantly liked her. Gingerly, and not once even considering letting go of Michael’s hand, he made his way over to where she was hiding.

  
“Is this you store, ma’am? It’s very nice, I haven’t ever seen so much color.” Jeremy was smiling softly, a slightly dazed but happy look in his eyes.

"It is, I've been running it for as long as I would care to remember," the older woman mused out in a fond tone. "I always love helping people figure themselves out and how they wish to express themselves. Now, this must be a lot for you from what I've heard around, so take your time on choosing what colors you like and what kinda outfit you want. I have catalogs lying around, so you pick and choose to your heart's content."

Jeremy shuffled over to one of the catalogs and started leafing through it, his grip on Michael firm and grounding. Choosing his own outfit, his own style, it was new to him. They had assigned clothes back Inside, even if you could pick what you wore on which day, and everything was monochrome black. Jeremy didn’t quite know what to do with the freedom he was being given.

  
He spotted something on one of the pages. It was like his favorite blazer, but softer, more cozy, and it instantly called out to him. A thick, wool cardigan according to the picture. He pointed it out to Michael, who nodded approvingly.

  
“What color should I get it in do you think? Like, I don’t know, there are so many choices.”

Michael glanced over the cardigan's design from where he stood before glancing through the store, humming in thought. "Well... How about this one?" He walked a few steps away, tugging Jeremy with him as he held onto the catalog before he reached up to grab at a blue fabric. "Your eyes are blue, so it'll match a bit, don't you think? It'll make your eyes pop a bit too." The fabric bundle was held out to the shorter of the pair.

Jeremy grinned, and nodded eagerly. “Yeah! Blue sounds awesome.” For a second, his eyes got a far away look in them, a memory from earlier surfacing. Whatever happen involved the color blue. He shook off the thought, and grabbed the bundle from Michael. His eyes darted around the shop before he reached out and grabbed a shirt and a pair of jeans that looked like it would fit him.

  
“I’ll be back in a second, can you look for some more stuff while I try these on?” Without waiting for an answer, Jeremy zipped into the changing stall and shut the door. Within minutes, he was changed into his new clothes and he popped out, calling Michael over.

  
“Well? How do I look?” Jeremy was in a nice fitting pair of jeans, a white, blue and red striped shirt and of course, the lovely cardigan. A pair of comfortable black and white sneakers took the place of his old dress shoes. “And, look! My shirt has both of our colors on it! See? Red and blue! It even has two shades of blue on it!”

He saw Michael look up from a section of the store with more colorful clothing that popped, and his eyes seemed to widen for a moment. "Oh... oh, you're right! Yeah, red and blue!" Jeremy couldn't help but grin as Michael walked over, holding some clothes in his arms as he stared at him. "You... you really look good in color, Jere."

Jeremy felt his cheeks flair up a little at the compliment.

  
“Thanks.” He smiled back, suddenly feeling a little shy. He wandered over to the seamstress, who instantly started fussing over him. She adjusted the collar on his cardigan, smiling softly.

  
“There, now don’t you look handsome. I think that style fits you perfectly. I’ll make sure to send a few other pieces like it over to Michael’s house tomorrow. Now go and see what Michael has found for you, that boy has a good eye for colors.”

  
Jeremy turned back to Michael and peered curiously at the bundle he had in his arms. Before his attention was fully back on Michael, however, something caught his eye. A small pin that would look perfect on his cardigan! He quickly scooped it up, and pinned the little rainbow circle onto his cardigan, right over his heart. It looked just right there, so colorful and pretty. “There! Now it’s perfect!” He grinned proudly.

Michael blinked for a moment before coughing again, glancing to the side as he got out, "Yeah, it is. Uh, I didn't really know what you'd like, so I picked out a few things that seemed good. I'm not really good at clothes shopping, honestly..."

  
Despite his humble words, Michael picked out a lot of articles of clothing that seemed perfect for Jeremy, including a few flannel shirts, jeans and pants, and even a shirt that had swirling designs on it. After trying them all on, Jeremy knew they all looked good on him, and it made his heart flutter a little at the thought that these amazing outfits were picked out for him by Michael. "I don't think you need to lie to yourself about how good you are at choosing outfits," Jeremy teased as he stepped out in his first outfit, holding his last outfit in his arms as Michael held a cloth bag that the rest of his clothes now resided in.

  
"I guess I just got lucky," Michael pushed, giving a sheepish smile before waving to the seamstress. "Thank you so much for your help."

“Yes, thank you so much!” Jeremy called to her, grinning happily. The seamstress waved back, a small smile on her face.

  
“You two have fun now, and be good!” she called as the exited the shop. Jeremy instantly missed the vibrancy but looking down at his pin and his new clothes he felt a little more satisfied.

  
People stared at him less now that he was dressed a little more normally. Jeremy looked around in wonder, finally able to pay attention to the details of the tree town and its architecture now that he wasn’t scared of people breathing down his neck. Jeremy darted from platform to platform, looking at all the different supports and carvings they were made from, giggling a little and he muttered to himself about how they would work.

  
“Michael, these are so clever! Like seriously, you have no idea how hard some of the Brains are working to get this level of support for so little cost, and you guys just have it as part of everyday life!” He was currently gesturing to some of the supports under the town hall, arms flailing wildly as he got more and more excited. It was the most movement he had ever expressed while talking.

Turning around to grin at Michael and continue to gesture to the supports, he was able to notice Michael staring for a moment before breaking into his lopsided grin. "Oh, uh, yeah. We've had to rebuild a lot, continually moving as the Controlled spread their reach and territory out further and further, so I guess we've learned over the past two-hundred years or so," Michael recounted, looking up at the supports that stemmed (hah) from the trees. "The community's thinking we'll have to leave in the next few years, so they're already sending some people out to scout further out and find a suitable place for us to rebuild for ourselves before we sorta migrate."

Jeremy frowned. He hated the idea that this whole town would have to move. He did know about the expansion planned, Chloe was lead architect until she had to go and have kids, but Jeremy really hated the idea. He had only been out of the Inside for a week, but Jeremy was already getting a strong sense of how bad it was in there. And everything inside him that wasn’t shaped by the SQUIP’s people wanted the Inside gone, even if he couldn’t fully understand why yet. It was like a creature was roaring in his chest for the SQUIP to be taken down. He wasn’t sure if he actually liked this feeling, but he was sure it was potent, whatever it was.

  
“No, I’m not going to let that happen,” Jeremy said firmly, looking around and finding no one nearby. He stepped closer to Michael just in case. “I’ve given you some information already, I’m gonna get you more. My future job meant I learnt a lot about the Inside, including its weak points. I am _not_ letting this place be destroyed just because some weirdos think they should rule the world.” His voice was low and Jeremy was scowling, glaring in the direction of his old city. This place felt more like home in the single day he’s been there than his seventeen years living on the Inside. He was not going to allow it to be destroyed.

Michael's eyes seemed to widen at his intense emotions and mini speech that came along with it, glancing in the direction of Jeremy's old home as well before looking back to Jeremy. "Well, that's sort of what our plans hope to do," he whispered back to him before continuing to walk, waving his arm to encourage Jeremy to follow. "But now's not the time to think about that stuff. We gotta get back to my place so you can get settled in and see if dinner's ready or if I get to make it. Mom might be busy with work stuff still, and if that's the case, I'll try to blow your mind-not literally, it's a metaphor-with what I can cook up for you!"

Jeremy let the emotions drain out of him, barely noticing how the lamps, which were slowly turning on automatically, flickered as the emotions dripped away. He followed Michael. Food sounded really good right then, actually. And his stomach agreed if the loud growl was anything to go by.

  
“I guess I’m hungry.” Jeremy shrugged, trying to cover his embarrassment at the loud sound, but loving the chuckle he got from Michael. Michael’s house wasn’t far from the town hall, and Jeremy thought it looked very cozy. It wasn’t too big, and it just radiated a warm atmosphere, despite apparently being empty as no one answered the door when Michael knocked. Michael let them inside using the key from under the nearby flower pot, and guided Jeremy to the kitchen. Jeremy could only look on in wonder at the sights and smells he experienced. So much food, so many different flavors!

"Welcome to my humble abode," Michael said with a grand wave of his arm, and it was unfortunately the one with Jeremy's clothes. The cloth bag almost swung back and hit him in the face, but the taller of the two quickly moved his hand back, letting it swing away from him, barely missing him by centimeters. Jeremy couldn't help but laugh at the other's antics as Michael quietly hushed him, though he was grinning as he spoke.

  
"You can sit out here and take everything in, and I'll be in the room over there-" He pointed to an open doorway that lead to what seemed to be a simpler kitchen compared to any of those Inside. "-cooking you up an amazing meal, since you've had more simple stuff at the base."

Jeremy nodded, shrugging. “That’s probably for the best, really. I could barely stomach the food you gave me on the first night, it was so rich compared to what I used to eat. I think I can handle things better now.” Jeremy felt a little embarrassed at the admittance that he had almost been sick on his first night, it had just sort of... slipped out. Jeremy just felt so comfortable around Michael that any filters he had put up seemed to be broken down in minutes. Jeremy jumped onto the springy couch, wrapping himself up in a huge fluffy blanket.

  
“I’m not moving from here until I have food! Now go, my handsome servant, and fetch me food!” Jeremy waved a hand in Michael’s direction, grinning too much for it to be taken as anything but a joke.

Even if his tone was joking, Michael seemed to sputter at that, looking away as he seemed to be trying to cover it up with a cough. He also raised a hand to his face, to presumably hide his smile from his joke. "O-oh, al-alright sir. I'll, uh, do my best to get the food out quick." With that, Jeremy watched as Michael retreated into the kitchen, leaving him alone (well, he could watch as Michael took everything out and cooked) in the living room as smells slowly but surely filled the home.

Jeremy giggled at his friend’s reaction, not knowing what he had done to provoke it. He really wished he knew, because he wanted to see it happen more. He tried contemplating it, but very soon the delicious smells of dinner overtook his senses and he couldn’t concentrate. He hadn’t had lunch, he realized, which explained his extreme hunger now. Jeremy sort of rolled over to the side of the sofa closest to the kitchen, blanket covering everything except his face.

“Micah, I’m hungry,” Jeremy whined, the tone making Michael’s name come out funny. Actually, he kind of liked that name. If Michael didn’t mind (or at least show that he minded) then Jeremy would use it sometimes... maybe.

More coughing could be heard from the kitchen before Michael turned around, facing Jeremy from where he stood with his hands playfully resting on his hips. "Hi Hungry, I'm Michael. Also, dinner will be done soon, Hungry, but you need to be patient. I haven't eaten since this morning either, so we're both feeling pretty hungry." With that, he turned around, seemingly finishing up and plating the food, coming out with it before Jeremy could complain any further.

  
In front of him was a plate of gorgeous (even if others didn't think so, he thought so, especially compared to the lackluster dishes from Inside) dish of chicken and rice with a creamy orange sauce drizzled over both. "I tried something simpler this time with a more mild sauce for you. If you end up thinking it's too overwhelming for now, I have some sauce I put to the side that's even milder and some chicken and rice that hasn't been drenched in sauce."

Jeremy could feel his mouth watering just from looking at it. Almost reverently, Jeremy took the plate from Michael with a small murmur of ‘thank you’. The boy looked entranced, eyes wide as he looked at the food. He didn’t know food could look so pretty. Hesitantly, he scooped up a small spoonful and, with Michael’s encouragement, put it in his mouth. An explosion of flavor bounced around his head. He couldn’t help the small moan of delight as he closed his eyes in bliss. Jeremy had never experienced anything like this before. Despite his hunger, he ate slowly, moaning lightly every now and again at the sheer beautiful intensity of the flavors.

By the time he finished his food, which didn't take long, Jeremy turned to ask for more when he realized Michael hadn't eaten much of his own plate that he made. He had been glancing away when he first looked over, but their eyes made contact and Michael just grinned at him. "Sorry, my stomach sometimes takes time to get used to eating again after I've gotten a bit stressed, so I'm eating slow. If y'want more, you're welcome to go and get some more. There's a small pot with the sauce, another with the rice, and there's a hot plate with chicken." Once he finished speaking, Michael quickly shoveled some rice and chicken into his mouth, even though he just said he was supposed to be eating slowly?

Jeremy smiled a little, feeling a sort of pride that a Michael knew what he was going to say. “I still can’t quite believe I get to eat until I’m actually full. My stomach is still kinda small because even though we ate Inside, we never really got big portions. It was like grey, tasteless paste.”

Jeremy shook off the memory and he looked at Michael properly. He looked a little uncomfortable and suddenly Jeremy was worried. He was eating weirdly and he seemed to be coughing decent amount. What if Michael was getting sick? Jeremy put his plate down on the coffee table in front of the sofa and sat up on his knees. Leaning forwards, he placed the back of his hand to Michael’s forehead, then his cheek. “You’re very warm, Micha...” Jeremy murmured, a little concerned. “Wait right here!”

Jeremy bounced to his feet and walked over to the kitchen, snagging his plate along the way. He searched the cupboards until he found a glass, and he filled it with water from the jug, leaving his plate out to grab more food in a minute. Michael came first. He took the water out to Michael, who had been watching him curiously. “I don’t want you getting sick, Micha, so make sure you drink lots of water, okay?”

When Michael seemed to understand what Jeremy was finally getting at, his eyes widened and he seemed to be struggling to answer. "Oh, uh, yeah, I'll do that. Thanks for helping." With that, the other boy took the glass and drank some of it before speaking again. "Also, I'm really glad you get to eat more than gross, gloppy portions. That sounds vile, if I'm going to be honest with you. Enjoy more of the Tikka Masala, it's a recipe from my mom's grandma that I always make to perk myself up a bit."

“Oh it was vile, though I didn’t realize just how vile until I got to eat some proper food.” Jeremy scooted back to the kitchen and started serving himself some more food. It wasn’t a massive portion and it didn’t look anywhere near as artful as Michael's did, but Jeremy felt a little surge of pride nonetheless. He wandered back to the other room, perching himself back in his previous spot.

  
“Tikka Masala doesn’t sound like anything I’ve ever heard of. Is it another language or something? I remember learning that there were other languages before the SQUIP came.” Jeremy was genuinely curious, his inquisitive nature flaring up again. He liked the familiarity of it all if he were honest.

At his question, Michael shrugged as he nursed his cup of water. "I think so. I don't know too much about other places, since SQUIP and the Controlled sort of took most of the books when he took over, I guess. I think Mom said it was called Hindi, though I don't really know how to speak it except for a few phrases Mom says around the house from time-to-time, even though our predecessors were from some place called the Philippines."

  
He seemed to grow a little more somber at that, though pushed past it as he grabbed his plate and started to eat again. "It's really good though, and I'm glad that they wrote these down after we first formed this community a long time ago."

“The Philippines?” Jeremy thought for a second, then got excited. “Do you have any paper and pencils I could use?” When Michael nodded and pointed over to a small set of drawers, Jeremy sprung up and grabbed them. His hand moved quickly over the paper, probably faster than a normal human should be able to draw with this much accuracy but hey, he wasn’t going to be a Brain for nothing. They trained him for stuff like this. Eventually, Jeremy turned his drawing around, showing an accurate map of the Philippines, along with 24 marks indicating where the Insides were.

  
“The Philippines was one of the last places the SQUIP managed to take control over, and he still has problems with it to this day. For one thing, no matter what he tried, the people on the Insides there refuse to destroy the natural beauty of it. Like, he’s been trying for centuries but nothing works. He gets every Brain to work on it for at least a year at a time but so far, nothing. Don’t you see, Micah? It still exists, and everyone there are fighters just like you!”

Michael took the drawing from Jeremy gently, looking everything over with wide eyes, scanning every little detail. He seemed to be silent for minute, thinking all of this over, before handing it back to Jeremy with a small, seemingly strained smile. "Well... I'm glad they're still fighting, and I'm glad I have an idea on what it looks like now, at least. Hopefully they won't have to fight for much longer."

  
He picked his plate up once more, continuing to eat his meal at the slower pace he seemed to have mentioned before. "I think after we finish eating, I'll show you where you'll be sleeping so we can head to bed soon." There was something... off in Michael's voice as he spoke, but what exactly was off was something Jeremy couldn't pick up.

“Y-yeah, that sounds good.” He sat back down again and as soon as Michael looked away, Jeremy frowned. He was certain that Michael would have found that information at least a little nice. He didn’t know what he did wrong. He slowly ate his own food, focusing hard on Michael, wanting to help and understand. Then, out of the blue, Jeremy felt a tug in his gut, like he had fallen and his stomach had been left behind. He couldn’t help but gasp at the sudden storm of feelings, unaware that his eyes had started glowing blue.

  
Instinctively, Jeremy knew that the feelings he was experiencing weren’t his own, they were Michael’s. He felt a whirlwind of panic and fear left over from the day, exhaustion from Michael’s many sleepless nights, heartache because Michael was missing... someone and that the Philippines map had only sparked if higher. Jeremy didn’t push further, knowing he could but unwilling to do so. And to top it all off, he felt... numb. Like every emotion existed, but it was covered with a layer of dust to the point where they were entirely obscured. Seconds later, Jeremy was back in his own head, his own panic starting to rise. What was that?

As he came back to, he could feel a gentle hand shaking his shoulder. "Jere?" Michael was calling to him, his soft tone full of concern as he peered over at him. "Jere, are you alright?" Turning to look at Michael, sure his eyes were wide, he tried to speak, but it felt like his throat was tight and he couldn't get anything out at the moment.

  
"OK, hold on." Up went Michael, and he took Jeremy's near-finished plate along with his own, disappearing into the kitchen for a few minutes before coming back out, wiping his hands off on his pants. "I'm getting you to bed now, you're probably exhausted emotionally from everything. C'mon." Over he walked, taking Jeremy's hand oh-so delicately while he grabbed the cloth bag with his other hand before leading him up the stairs, not seeming to let anything else show but his worry for the other.

The gentle contact helped Jeremy immensely, keeping him in reality. He pulled himself back just as Michael had paused outside of a door. Knowing nothing would get done about this if he went to bed, Jeremy gently grabbed Michael’s shoulder, understanding somehow the flinch which the other tried to suppress.

  
“Michael, you don’t have to keep pretending you’re okay for me. I want to help you.” Jeremy’s voice was a little rough, but he pushed through, taking a deep breath before continuing. He made sure to let go of Michael, knowing how physical touch was not a good thing unless Michael initiated it. “I don’t know how, but I think I just felt some of what you’re feeling now. You’re not happy. Please don’t pretend you are, I want to help you and I can’t do that if you’re not honest with me about these things. And I’m sorry if my map brought up bad memories, I really didn’t know. And... I think I understand that layer of scared.” Jeremy’s voice dropped to barely a whisper and he couldn’t look at Michael, partly ashamed. “I think I have it too. Just... please let me help. I might be new at emotions and I might have no idea what I’m doing, but I don’t want you to be hurting like this...” He had a mental disorder, and so did Michael. Jeremy understood that now. And he was more sure than ever that people like them weren’t inherently evil like he had been told. Michael was just sad and scared and feeling alone, he wasn’t bad in the slightest.

Michael was quiet during his entire little impromptu talk, looking down at him as he seemed to be taking in everything that he said. Was he mad? He probably was. Hell, who would be alright with someone tapping into your emotions like that? Jeremy honestly wouldn't blame him if he didn't say anything, and it seemed like he wasn't going to say anything, just think... until he heard a small, choked sound come from him.

  
Looking back at Michael, he saw the boy covering his mouth with tears falling down his cheeks as he was looking to the side as well. Jeremy almost reached out again, really, truly just wanting to comfort the other, but he remembered that it wasn't probably going to help him right now. His thoughts almost kept him from hearing what Michael muttered out: "If I don't show I'm alright to others, they're not going to be either. I'm supposed to be strong, and lead everyone, even though I started all of this because Mama got taken..."

  
Whether that was meant to be said aloud of not, or if it was the first time he admitted that to himself or someone else, Jeremy had no clue, but he watched his friend, who was so bubbly, energetic, and happy crumble down to the floor, kneeling down and dropping the bag of clothes as he just sobbed, getting out apologies whenever he could between his blubbering.

Jeremy knelt down next to Michael, close but not touching. He put his hand out, face up, so Michael could take it if he wanted. “You’re not a Controlled, Michael, you can’t help you emotions. And if you try to be strong all the time you’re going to break. Believe me, I’ve been there, it happens. You’re allowed to feel, you don’t have to be this.... perfect leader who never has a bad day... and you are strong, Micah. Being strong doesn’t mean never being weak, it means having the courage to keep going anyway. Have your bad days and move on from them.”

Jeremy wasn’t sure where this was all coming from, but he knew it was the truth. It felt like someone wise was speaking through him, but Jeremy couldn’t let himself think about that too much. He’d panic otherwise. Instead he focused, trying to do what he did earlier but in reverse. Somehow, he knew that Michael would be the one to choose if he did it or not, but he was sure he could open the option. Maybe seeing that Jeremy wasn’t much better off, but he was hopeful (that what the fire in the dark emotion that had hit him that first day) might help Michael calm down and see that it was going to be alright

His words seemed to have some effect on Michael, as his sobbing seemed to slowly even out. After looking over at Jeremy after lifting his glasses up onto the top of his head, Michael seemed to be thinking something over as he looked between his face and the hand offered to him. "I..." Sniffling once, twice, he reached up and rubbed at his nose with his sleeve, which he grimaced at a second later, he reached over and took his hand, gently gripping it.

  
"I don't know how you're s-so smart 'bout this stuff, especially after only really learning truly about emotions in only a week, but you're good at this kinda stuff, Jere," he muttered out, his voice worn and rough from all of his crying.

  
His free hand reached up, wiping away any more tears on his face for now before glancing over his shoulder at his bedroom door. "It'd probably be good to get into bed, it's a lot comfier than a floor made of tree bark..." It seemed like he was trying to joke, if his weak and exhausted smile was anything to go by.

Jeremy let his focus slip the moment Michael touched his hand. Things were going to be alright. And Michael was joking, and Jeremy could sense it was a genuine joke, not an attempt to cover up his pain. Jeremy snickered quietly.

  
“Yeah, I bet it is.” He slowly stood up, his knees creaking slightly from kneeling on the hard floor. He helped Michael up, not touching him besides the hand he kept locked in his. Reaching over, Jeremy scooped up the cloth bag and looped it over his shoulder. He offered a small smile to Michael who gave a shaky one in return. Jeremy stretched over and opened the door to Michael’s room and slowly pulled Michael towards the bed.

  
“Is there anything you need right now, Micah? Anything I can do for you?” he murmured, meeting Michael’s eyes.

As Michael sat down on his bed, going to curl up under the covers, he looked up at Jeremy with what seemed to be thought, even if he was exhausted. "I... I was going to offer you my bed and sleep on the couch, but I know that isn't gonna happen now... My bed's big enough for two though, if y'wanna stay with me. Warning though: I snore sometimes."

Jeremy climbed into the bed without much hesitation, smiling softly at his friend.

  
“That’s alright Micah. I don’t mind,” he murmured. Jeremy instantly scooted closer to Michael, offering a hug without actually saying it. He was pleasantly surprised when Michael wrapped his arms around him. It didn’t take long for both boys to drift off into a deep, dreamless sleep.


	4. Domestic Implications

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready, because I think this is the longest chapter we wrote (I'm not too sure, but definitely the longest at least in the beginning). There's a lot more lore and world building, as well as more relationships forming and developing. This is definitely a mix of angst and fluff, so be prepared!  
> Also, to end these notes off, some words from our lovely Mara (what_in_the):
> 
> 'Jeremy is a sweet bean who only wants to help. While he might not understand everything yet, he’s already learnt a lot from Michael. And he wants to return the favour, helping Michael in return. Jeremy’s pure intentions helps Michael more than he realizes. It’s an adorable interaction and I want this so much.   
> I loved seeing Jeremy from Michael’s perspective because it meant I didn’t have to figure out his entire thought process, only how it would look to others XD  
> Thanks for over 150 hits already!'

After dealing with all of the emotional turmoil of the past week and just letting it all out with Jeremy, Michael felt a lot better by the time he woke up. He still had a lot to deal with, but now that all of the negatives emotions he kept bottled up were freed, he felt better equipped to handle them.

  
The main thing he had was the boy who was clinging onto him in bed, and looking down to discover his scene didn't help with anything since he looked _so adorable like that, especially when he was asleep, holy shit_. Yup, he knew he had some feelings for this boy, though they were mainly a crush since he didn't know Jeremy too well yet, but holy shit, waking up to cuddling with your crush? Best. Wake-up. Ever. 

  
Despite that, he wasn't going to voice anything. Jeremy was new to emotions and everything, and he wasn't going to push him (not like he would have if he did understand them in the first place, because he didn't want to push his feelings onto him if he didn't reciprocate them). He would rather just be his friend first and foremost, and he was happy with that, even if Jeremy didn't understand quite yet that a lot of the shit he did made him so god damn flustered!

  
The slight shifting in the bed pulled Michael out of his self-reflection. Looking down at the figure clinging to him, he saw Jeremy's brows furrow, and Michael couldn't help but snicker as he reached down, gently smoothing out the skin there before poking the spot to try to insistently wake up. "Heeeeey, Jeeeeeremy, it's time to wake up."

Jeremy stirred slightly, his nose scrunching up adorably before grumbled something intelligible and nuzzled himself closer to Michael’s chest. It caused Michael’s heart to thump almost painfully loud.

"God damnit, you're gonna be the death of me," he muttered out, only loud enough for himself to be able to hear. He reached with one hand to gently shake his shoulder, continuing to try to wake him up. "Jeremy, pleeease get up. I'm getting hungry and I need to get food, and I know you need it too. Don't you wanna try some of my pancakes?"

Jeremy sighed, sounding content as he slowly turned his face up to look at Michael, blinking slowly. A small, sleepy smile spread across his features.

  
“G’morning Micah. What are... pancakes?” He asked, his voice soft and rough with sleep. Slowly, Jeremy reached up and ruffled Michael’s hair, giggling softly. “Also, you’re really warm. I’m gonna need more hugs soon, I think.”

Michael had to do his best to try to keep his heart from beating too fast, especially since Jeremy could possibly hear it, from how adorable and unknowingly intimate he was being. "They're like a type of breakfast... I guess you could say cake? You can put different fruits in it and it's amazing," he explained, ignoring what he said after the question for now because if he thought about it too much after just waking up, Michael was sure he'd explode.

Jeremy hummed happily.

  
“That does sound really good.” He grinned, looking more awake by the minute. Michael cursed his luck (or should be grateful, he wasn’t sure yet) when Jeremy made no movement to get away. Damnit, he’d have the one to get up first, wouldn’t he?

"Well, I should get started on it," he mused out, gently patting Jeremy on the shoulder then to try to get his attention that he couldn't fully get out. "You can lie here for a bit longer, but I really need to get outta here to make us something to eat."

Jeremy sighed as he untangled himself from Michael and wait, was that a bit of reluctance in his movements? Probably not, but it was nice to dream. Michael scooted out of bed and padded out to the kitchen, already missing the smaller warmth curled up near him.

' _Focus, Michael, you need to focus_ ,' he thought to himself, shaking his head as he hurried down the stairs to go into the kitchen. For a moment, he hoped he'd see Mom and be able to at least say 'hi' to her, but she seemed to have already left, her shoes gone from the placemat near the doorway. He let out a sigh, trying to hide his disappointment before going into the kitchen and getting the ingredients he needed for some nice, simple strawberry and blueberry pancakes for Jeremy.

  
He let himself get a bit lost in his cooking, a little bit of an escape for him since he often had to cook for himself now, so he didn't notice Jeremy come into the kitchen until he was plating his food. Turning around with another pancake on his spatula, he almost dropped it as he practically jumped a few centimeters into the air. " _Ohmygod_ , hi."

Jeremy giggled, he fucking _giggled_ , and buried deeper into the blanket he had snagged from the couch. He looked way too cute for Michael to be dealing with first thing in the morning.  
“Hi to you too, Michael. Anything I can do to help?” Jeremy’s grin was bright, as usual, but Michael could tell tell there was something bothering the boy. Still, he could confront Jeremy about that later, for now they needed to eat.

  
“Nope! I just finished up. I’ll take these over to the table, you just grab a seat,” he chirped, trying to sound casual.

He watched as the boy looked around for a moment before finding where the table was. "Oh, alright! That smells really good, I'm excited." With that, Jeremy walked over to the table, the large blanket dragging on the floor behind him.

  
While Jeremy's back was turned, Michael quickly put the last pancake down and rubbed his face a few times to try to keep his face from reddening. Once he was sure he was good, he took the plates and put the empty ones down in front of the chairs, while the strawberry and blueberry pancakes each had their own plates in the center. "Alright, so I made strawberry pancakes and blueberry pancakes. They're sweet and shouldn't be too much for a breakfast dish."

Exactly in the same way as last night, Jeremy’s eyes widened when he saw the food. Michael’s heart broke a little because no one should look so amazed by simple pancakes. But the way Jeremy stared at them, like they would vanish if he blinked for too long, definitely shook Michael to the core. 

  
“Th-they look a-amazing, Micah.” And there was that awed tone again. He really hoped that Jeremy would never have to go back to that life, in fact, he would make sure of it. No one deserved to be left so... empty as the Controlled were. Instead of saying anything, Michael scooped up a strawberry pancake on to his place and gestured to the stacks with his fork.

  
“Help yourself.” Internally, he grinned at how eager Jeremy looked as he snagged a blueberry one.

"If you like this, I'll try to see if I can get some honey to put on the pancakes next time," Michael said as he cut his pancake before taking a bite. As he ate, he saw that Jeremy watched how he cut his food before copying him and eating his own food as well. "Well, how is it?"

  
That same wonder-filled look from last night reappeared as he ate the pancake, and again came another moan-yes, he knew it was from the food and because Jeremy was enjoying the flavor, but god _damnit_ if it didn't make things worse for him. "This tastes e-even better than it looks, Micah!" With that, Jeremy quickly began digging in, and Michael couldn't help but smile as he ate his own food.

  
"I feel like you only think so because you've really only eaten stuff I've made, but alright."

“Let me be biased then, this is amazing!” Jeremy grumbled a little, only pausing in his eating long enough to shoot Michael a playful pout along long with his comment, before he continued stuffing his face. If Jeremy kept up his rate of eating, he would gain a few pounds. Michael couldn’t help but think that was a good thing, the boy was painfully skinny.

  
“Fine fine, but I’m expecting the same treatment even after you try other people’s cooking!” He teased, and Jeremy rolled his eyes and nodded as if to say: ‘you expect anything else?’

Michael just grinned back, though only interrupted their eating by getting the two of them some glasses of water. He secretly enjoyed someone fawn so much over his cooking, giving him a sense of pride over what he's been trying to hone over the past few years. 

  
After they finished, Michael got up with the now-empty plates and started cleaning up everything. "Well, I'm glad you enjoyed that. Maybe I should try to make more than just a main course next time, like adding in a side dish or something. D'you think your stomach could handle that right now?"

Jeremy thought for a moment, then nodded.

  
“Yeah, so long as it’s not too rich, like you did last night. That was perfect.” The blissed out look sparked another wave of pride in his skills. At least there was someone besides himself who liked his cooking. Jeremy watched as he washed everything up, looking a little confused but sort of hopeful.

  
“Can I help at all? I mean, I would just stick dishes in the dishwasher back Inside, bit I’m sure I can help out if you need!”

The enthusiasm Jeremy had to help him made him smile, and he gestured his head over to the drying rack where some dishes were and the dish towel. "If you can start wiping down the dishes, that would help. Just make sure they're all dry, and then stack them beside the rack that the dishes are in now. I'll show you where they go after we're all done, yeah?" A little voice in the back of his head told him how domestic all of this was, and he mentally yelled back at it to shut up since the thought was making him flustered.

The eager nod he got in return didn’t help to quieten the voice, if anything it made it louder. Jeremy was a little clumsy, Michael soon discovered, but luckily nothing broke. Apparently he was used to it and simply adjusted to compensate. Idly, Michael wondered how Jeremy dealt with being clumsy in the ‘perfect society’. Then he realised he didn’t want to. So instead, Michael hummed a random tune, a little surprised at the shocked looked Jeremy shot him.

  
“What was that?” He asked, sounding confused but impressed for some reason.

Michael looked at him then, seemingly just as confused with Jeremy's question. "What was what? I was just humming something to fill the space," he iderated, a brow raised."Wait, were you guys not allowed to hum or make noises or something? Like, at all?"

Jeremy looked embarrassed and he shuffled his feet a little awkwardly.

  
“Erm... no. We had to be silent unless were were interacting with someone. And even with the little kids, who didn’t have to be quiet, I’ve never heard anyone make those sorts of sounds. Where you change the pitch? That was really nice!” Jeremy actually sounded really excited by the idea of what, music? Did the SQUIP really take away music as well? Michael was honestly a little horrified by the thought.

"Well, you can do that all you want out here. I hum to myself a lot, or even sing... You probably don't know what that is though." He glanced around the room, thinking about the best way to introduce this all to Jeremy before coming up with an idea. "Alright, after we're done cleaning up, I'm gonna grab something that I can make nice sounds with that we call music, and I'm gonna take you to a nice spot where you can hear it so well."

“Music...” Jeremy tried out the word and seemed to really like it, because he started bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Let’s go make music!” Jeremy crowed, quickly working through the rest of the drying with surprising speed and accuracy. He didn’t fumble at all. Michael made a note to offer Jeremy something he wanted whenever he was being clumsy.

As he grinned to himself, he quickly showed Jeremy where everything was to be put back. "You can't bring the blanket with you, but you can wait here while I grab my stuff." Since they seemed to have not changed, Michael didn't worry much about getting changed for now. After he played some music for Jeremy, and maybe even sung a little, he was planning on coming back and crashing inside the rest of the day with him since he didn't like being watched or surrounded by too many people at once.

Michael grabbed his guitar and ran back downstairs, after quickly styling his hair. When he got downstairs, Jeremy was sitting on the couch, swinging his legs and attempting to hum a little. His nose was a little scrunched up and the notes were all over the place, but Michael’s heart swelled as he listen to Jeremy try.

  
“Not bad, but you need to figure out a tune. We can work on that later though.” Jeremy jumped but grinned when he saw Michael.

' _God, that smile is going to kill me one day_.' Walking over with his guitar strapped over his shoulder and on his back, Michael tugged Jeremy up to his feet. "We'll be back soon, so don't worry about missing your blanket for too long."

  
Turning around, Jeremy waved with a frown to his blanket as he followed Michael outside. It was so hard not to burst out into laughter at the scene, but Michael somehow managed to keep himself together. 

  
Up and up they went, climbing up many flights of stairs until they made it to an area high up in the large trees, with a faint blanket of leaves to shade them from the beams of light. Michael hopped up to sit on a sturdy and comfortable branch before tugging Jeremy up beside him, making sure he was steady and comfortable before letting go and settling his guitar in front of himself. "So, how about this: you give me an emotion, and I'll play a song that conveys it?"

“I... Umm... what about....” Jeremy was getting all flustered in the best ways. Michael chuckled, picking out a few notes while he waited. “How about... joy? Is there a song for that?”  
  
  


“There are songs made around the theme and idea of joy, but there are just some sounds you can make that you just... _feel_ are happy. It’s easier to show you rather than explain.” He was better at showing than telling, anyway.  
After a minute or two of tuning and plucking his strings, Michael started to play a soft tune, creating a relaxing melody before it became more upbeat, using higher notes as he played. He had no specific song in mind, making up his own tune as he went, hoping that Jeremy would understand what he was trying to convey.

Jeremy’s eyes were wide again as Michael played, and the smile that slowly spread onto his face was just perfect. He was getting it. In fact, Jeremy seemed to be really getting into it, slowly swaying without realising it, head bopping to the beat. Michael sped up slightly, watching Jeremy carefully to see if he moved quicker too. When he did, Michael concluded that Jeremy seemed to really be enjoying music.

  
“You know, moving in time to music is called dancing. It’s really fun and there are loads of different styles.” He chucked when Jeremy froze, a light blush on his face. “No need to be embarrassed, everyone dances a little to music anyway.” Jeremy scowled a little, before starting his little sway again, less noticeable than before.

Michael decided not to continue commenting on his swaying as he continued to play, eventually moving from joyful to playful, and even to exciting, all of which he explained to Jeremy when he switched the emotional theme to each type of music he was playing. He continued this for a while, thinking over whether he should sing or not, but decided to back out of it for now. After all, he didn’t want to overwhelm Jeremy, and his anxiety would surely spike if he tried singing in any place that wasn’t his room or shower.

  
“I think we’re good for now,” Michael stated as he finished the last few chords of the melody he was playing, letting his fingers idly rest against the neck of his guitar. “So, how did you like music?

“I... really like it. Like, it feels like magic almost, how it made me feel things.” Jeremy’s hands were gesturing wildly as he spoke. ‘ _He’s showing more and more emotion every day_ ,’ Michael thought to himself proudly. Jeremy had already come such a long way, and it had only been a week.

  
“So, anything you want to do today? Or are we cool to just hang out around the house?” Michael asked, looping his guitar onto his back and hopping off the branch back onto a platform and holding his hand out to Jeremy. He took Michael’s proffered hand with a small smile and hopped down after him.

  
“I think a day at home sounds wonderful, it was... a lot yesterday.” Jeremy nodded slowly. Michael grinned, his eyes soft.

“Yeah, yesterday was... _wow_ , you know?” He made an exaggerated gesture with his hand as he spoke, smiling as he got Jeremy to giggle along with him.

  
“Yeah, it definitely was,” Jeremy parroted back, squeezing his hand. ‘ _Shit, he’s still holding my hand, oh my god, he squeezed it, aaa_!’ Michael did his best to keep his internal freak out inside as he gave a warm smile to Jeremy.

  
“On the way back though, how about you tell me some more about where you came from, if you’re alright with telling me. I’m really curious and I want to get to know your _roots_ better, so to speak.” He kept a calm face at that, wondering if Jeremy would be able to pick up puns without help at this point.

“Yeah, that’s fine with me. I’m happy to tell you whatever you want to know.” It took a second, but then Jeremy tapped his foot on the wooden pathway they were on and arched his eyebrow. “Really Michael? I thought you would have _branched_ out a little from puns by now. They’re not that funny.” Did Jeremiah Heere just sass him? Michael had never been so proud, but he couldn’t show that. 

  
“Hey! Puns are important! Don’t you l _eaf_ this subject alone, Heere!”

“I’m stopping you now, Micah.” Jeremy groaned, face palming. Huh, Michael wasn’t sure he had taught Jeremy that particular gesture... “Anyway, what do you wanna know? There’s... a whole bunch of stuff to tell and I can’t promise you’ll be comfortable with all of it.”

There was a whole world of possibilities that Michael could ask from, and that overwhelming choice he had was a bit daunting to him. He tried to narrow down a few categories, but he felt that they all were equally important. Honestly, he felt that he couldn’t choose, so he turned back to look at Jeremy who was _still fucking holding his hand_! “Whatever you want to let me know, Jeremy.”

“Well, erm, I... I guess it’ll be good to tell you about some of the stuff I went through growing up? Like I know you know about some of the superficial things but there is still a lot there.” Jeremy paused for breath and Michael squeezed his hand reassuringly. Hey, if he was going to be given this gift, he wasn’t about to not use it.

  
“I...erm, well. When I was a little kid, before I started the shots, I was super chatty? Always asking questions. And that never really left me from some reason. But if I asked a question too many times or it was too hard to answer, I would get a slap? And when I got older and the got the behavioural collars on me, I’d get shocked instead. They also did that if I would show a strong emotion before they got the right dosage for me with my shots. Like I wasn’t the only one, Rich was the same until about 3rd grade, but I was one of the... harder cases to ‘correct’. Ended up with quite a few scars on the back of my neck because of it.” Jeremy looked really uncomfortable, but not due to the fact that he was fucking abused, but because he had scars from it! In fact, he didn’t even seem that bothered about everything that had happened to him, just that he had marks from them! “But yeah, that’s how I knew how to deal with passing out and why don’t like things near my neck.”

Michael couldn’t help but feel disgusted, but not at Jeremy. No, he was even more disgusted with the SQUIP than he had ever been before, which was really saying something. He didn’t want Jeremy to think any of this was directed at him though, but he gently squeezed his hand to reassure him before he spoke. “I’m sorry about that, but thank you for telling me. That had to be a big deal, and it’s alright if you aren’t OK with how they treated you to correct you, because what they did wasn’t right either. You know now that’s it’s OK to do all those things they didn’t want you to do, and you can understand that what they did to stop you wasn’t OK either, right?”

Jeremy shrugged.

  
“I mean, I sort of understand that it wasn’t right _now_ , but it’s... it was all I‘ve known up until now. Like now, the thought of you slapping me is inconceivable, but when I first met you and I was crying and stuttering? I was certain you would slap me, or worse.” Jeremy seemed disgusted at the even admitting that, but that was a step in the right direction. At least he could eventually realise how wrong it all was. “I was always the disappointment child, so I was used to it. Which is why I was so excited when I was chosen to become a Brain.”

Even if Michael knew he wasn't a problem child or a disappointment, he could understand how he'd be viewed as that on the Inside. He frowned regardless, giving Jeremy's hand a reassuring squeeze as his curiosity started to get the better of him. "You've mentioned a lot about this job, about being a Brain and how it's such an honor and stuff, but what exactly does a Brain _do_?"

“Oh umm...” Jeremy took a moment to reorder his thoughts, and Michael shifted uncomfortably. He had a feeling he wouldn’t like this answer one bit. “Well. The SQUIP is like a giant, powerful computer, right? Well Brains are like his processors. That’s why it’s such an honour Inside, you get to be linked directly to the SQUIP. From the age of sixteen, we’re trained with loads of skills and we have to learn loads of facts and everything. You get given a sector and you learn about everything there as well. Then, when you turn twenty-one you get put into the system. Like, you get hooked up into these pods and you just... never get out again. Your mind becomes part of the SQUIP, along with anything you’ve learnt. You just... stop being.” Jeremy paused, and Michael suspected he was just realising the implications of all of that. He had been told it was a good thing since birth, Michael doubted Jeremy even realised just how messed up it was.

  
“Anyway, the system is refreshed every thirty years, and my batch was supposed to go in the year I turned twenty-one.”

Michael nodded at that before giving him a soft smile. "Well hey, we're gonna stop that so there is no 'new batch' or anything like that. I would never let you go back and have something like that happen to you, Jere," he promised before hurrying down some steps as they got closer to his house. "You're gonna be here, happy, and enjoying life." There was no way he'd let Jeremy go back to the horror of being used by the SQUIP again, especially if his fate would be him being connected as a sort of powersource and weird hivemind directly with the SQUIP.

“I never _want_ to go back, if I did I would be hooked up straight away because I was ahead of my curve. And then He would know about this place and about you. That’s never gonna happen so long as I have a say.” Jeremy paused, shivering slightly. Did his eyes just flash a brighter blue? “And Michael, you’re not being totally honest about your feelings on this, are you? Like, I can tell there is a big chunk you’re holding back. You can tell me. I won’t get upset or overwhelmed, I promise.” Jeremy lightly squeezed Michael’s hand again, turning his imploring eyes on Michael once more.

Well, he had been able to sense his emotions last night, so he had to be having some sort of feeling thanks to his powers, right? A sigh passed his lips as he looked ahead. "I don't ever want you to go back either, that's me being honest. What I've been keeping in, though... None of what they did is alright. Everything you've told me is horrifying, and it just makes me want to keep you here more and more, to not let you get close again so they can't take you and connect you and I just couldn't handle letting another person get taken again, not if I can do anything about it." He didn't chance glancing over at Jeremy right now, not at least until they were back in his house and away from the eyes of the public because he'd tear up again.

Jeremy seemed to be able to understand that too, because instead of saying anything, he just pulled Michael over to his door and unlocked it with the flower pot key. Glancing down as he was pulled inside, Michael noted the still lack of shoes by the door. The were still alone. Jeremy dragged Michael all the way over to the couch, where he grabbed the guitar off Michael’s back and gently sat Michael down on the couch while he ran upstairs, putting the guitar away (that was his guess). When Jeremy finally did come back down, seconds later, he wrapped the large blanket over both his own shoulders and Michael’s shoulders, creating a sort of cocoon.

  
“This is our safe fort. Nothing can get us in here and no one will judge you in here. So if you need to cry, you can cry, okay Micah?” God, why did Jeremy have to be so sweet?

"Y'know," he started, "if this was really a fort, it would be over our heads too." He kept the teasing tone in his voice, though the sweetness of Jeremy's actions, thinking about everything he knew Jeremy had been through, and the fear of losing someone else, his voice wavered before he curled up on the couch with Jeremy and started to let some tears fall. "I thought you were the super smart guy, Jere."

Michael was sort of surprised when Jeremy just... let him cry. Like he didn’t try to stop him, and he didn’t try to comfort him, he just let Michael get it out. He was beyond grateful, that was exactly what he needed.

  
“I am a super smart guy, Micah, I just don’t want to overheat. This blanket is super fluffy and super warm.” Jeremy teased right back, his tone light. Then it shifted into something softer, more concerned. “Do you wanna talk about her? It might help a little.”

Yeah, he was super smart because he knew exactly what he needed to talk about. After taking a deep breath in... then out... Michael rested his head against Jeremy's shoulder as he collected his thoughts. "Yeah, yeah that'll help a bit." He started to fiddle with the strings of his hood as he started.

  
"Her name's Noel, and she's not my birth mom, but married my mom a little after I was born. She was the livelier out of my moms, and she was very into trying to figure out our culture and everything. Since she wasn't apart of any specific job because Mom's on the council, Mama would always stay at home and sorta helped to raise me a bit more and stuff." He had to take a break for a second, wiping away at his face and letting himself not get too choked up before he could continue. "She was amazing, Jere, and you'd love her. Even if she wasn't my birth mom, she had tanned skin like I do and had a spark in her eyes that a lot of people say I get from her, and her hair's a curly, wavy mess like my hair is... God, I fucking miss her so much."

Jeremy stiffened for a moment, then apparently had to force himself to relax. “N-Noel? Noel... Mell...” He mumbled, as though debating something. Michael was now curious and he sat up to look at Jeremy properly. He was pale, and his eyes were a little unfocused.

  
“What’s wrong, Jere?” Michael asked, a little worried. Jeremy grimaced, coming back to himself.

  
“You won’t like it...”

  
“Tell me anyway.” Michael insisted, feeling a little shaken. Jeremy nodded, his expression pained as he spoke.

  
“I knew her, I’d even consider her a friend when I was Inside. She was brought in about 2 years ago, and it took ages before they managed to break her enough for the shots to work. Like a whole year. Once she was in though, she was just like the rest of us. I liked her though, she used to help me during my training and she was always the nicest if I made a mistake. And it was...” Jeremy choked a little, his own wave of tears welling up. “It was Noel who suggested I skip my last shot and use the money on the betrothal gift. If I hadn’t have done that, I wouldn’t have been able to go to the forest. She’s the reason I’m here right now…

  
“She... you do look a lot like her,” Jeremy finished, looking away as tears began to drip down his face.

What Jeremy told him felt like he got punched in the gut more than once. The fact that Jeremy knew her, that they took so long to break her, and that she was still helping out there in that terrible place... Well, Jeremy had at least been right: he didn't like it at all.

  
"Well, I'm... I'm glad she helped..." Michael felt his inside swirl with guilt and relief for different reasons, and it didn't settle well with him. Curling up within himself as he rested his head back against Jeremy's shoulder, letting the tears fall as he took deep breaths to ease his stomach, which was churning at this point with the intense emotions he was feeling fight inside of him.

Jeremy held Michael close, outright sobbing as well. Still, a gentle hand started running through Michael’s hair, trying to relax him a little. It did feel nice though, and slowly a Michael felt himself melt into the touch. Jeremy was being so gentle with him.

After some time of the two of them just crying themselves out, Michael just let himself relax under the hand that was still slowly moving through his hair. His eyes were practically shut at this point as he let out a small, "Thank you," before nuzzling into the soft fabric of Jeremy's cardigan. Everything about him right now was so comforting and soothing, and he just wished he could stay like this with the other for eternity.

Jeremy, to his credit, didn’t seem to be doing much better. His movements were slow and fluid, bordering on clumsy while still remaining so soft and gentle.

  
“Whtvr y’need, Micah. Alwys,” Jeremy mumbled, his own eyes slipping shut. Jeremy frowned a little, obviously trying to say something, but unable to articulate it. Instead, Michael was struck with a strong wave of affection and protectiveness rolling off of Jeremy before it petered off. Michael knew, even with his sleepy brain, that Jeremy had just shown his feelings using magic. Still, it barely mattered, all that mattered was that Michael felt even safer cuddled up next to Jeremy.

Thanks to that feeling of affection and protectiveness that lingered ever so slightly, along with Michael absentmindedly reaching over and fiddling with Jeremy's fingers with the hand that rested gently over his side to relax his mind further, he fell asleep with a faint smile on his face.  
  
  


  
When he was waking up later, however, he felt it due to a strong, delicious smell filling the air. Even if his stomach was curious, his mind was still addled thanks to sleep and exhaustion from earlier. He just buried his face further into the comfortable folds of Jeremy's cardigan and the blanket that seemed to be wrapped a little tighter around them compared to earlier. It was so comfy, though, and he didn't want to ever move.

Jeremy’s arms reflexively tightened around Michael ever so slightly, and the small part of Michael that was actually awake felt a small thrill. Then he heard Jeremy sniff the air slightly, and let out a small sigh of contentment. Apparently, Jeremy had noticed the delicious smell as well, even if he didn’t move to get up. Instead, Jeremy just started with the fingers in his hair again, stroking his hair almost absentmindedly. Michael leant into the touch been more, loving how relaxing it felt.

After a minute or so of just lying there, the smell grew stronger and the sounds of shuffling could be faintly heard. The faint part of his brain that was awake was yelling at him that food was ready, to go eat, but then the rest of his mind that was still riddled with sleep and the affection building up in his chest convinced him to stay, enjoying the little touches Jeremy was giving him. "Mm..."

“Boys.” A gentle voice called through the haze of sleep and affection. “Lunch is ready.” Okay, that voice was too familiar to ignore anymore. His mom had cooked them lunch. Slowly, Michael tried to rouse himself from his relaxed state, but the fingers in his hair were just too nice.

  
“Jere, we gotta go eat now,” he slurred out, scarcely moving from his position, just tilting his head up and opening his eyes. The peaceful expression on Jeremy’s face, with his mouth slightly parted and his curly hair spread out like a halo on the cushion he was leaning against, made Michael’s heart flutter and a small, dopey grin to appear on his face. Then he realised what was going on. His mom was home.

' _Mom's home... She's finally not busy with council stuff... She also saw me and Jere... Oh boy._ '

  
Feeling around, he noticed his hand was still close to the one Jeremy had around his side. Reaching over, he gently resumed fiddling with his fingers to try to get his attention in a different way. Thankfully, it worked, and Jeremy looked down at him with that same peaceful expression, though his curly locks shifted against the cushion. His eyes seemed so bright right now, and it almost made his heart skip a beat. "Mm?"

  
"Mom's back, and she made lunch," he muttered out, tugging on Jeremy's digits now. Michael really wanted to get up to see his mom, but he was too comfortable to really get up right now and honestly needed the other's help because of how relaxed he was. 

  
He knew he'd have to talk about _this_ with Jeremy later, about how intimate they were getting. Jeremy had to have no clue about it, and Michael was sort of taking it all as he came since he was a very tactile person, but Jeremy needed to know that this kind of stuff wasn't OK to do with anyone and everyone. Plus, his own gay crushing heart wouldn't be able to handle it if they kept doing this and his affection grew to something much more than a crush only for Jeremy to end up loving someone else.

Jeremy grumbled a little, then froze.

  
“Wait... Micah, we were just... outside...” Confusion flickered across Jeremy features. “But then we weren’t? Then we were over in the... but I don’t remember walking there... it was kinda nice though...” Oh dear lord, was that Jeremy’s _first dream_? Michael could unpack that emotional box later, right now he really did need to get up.

  
“That’s called a dream, Jere. It happens when you’re asleep. I’ll explain about them properly later, for now we have lunch.” Michael sighed, not moving to get up in the slightest. Jeremy hesitated, then nodded. He shifted the hand out of Michael’s hair and yup, that was definitely reluctance there, but Jeremy didn’t know any better. Nothing to get excited about. Using his now free hand, Jeremy reached up and slowly untucked the blanket, shivering as the (slightly) cooler air his his skin. So did Michael.

As Jeremy eventually undid himself from around Michael, even if he missed the lack of contact as a very tactile person, it helped him to get up. Once he was free enough, he got up and reached over to help Jeremy get up, offering a hand. Michael sleepily smiled back at Jeremy as he took it and got up, and the part of him that was awake got excited by the fact Jeremy didn’t let go of his hand. ‘ _He doesn’t know better, stop getting so excited by it_!’

  
After that ordeal was done, he lead Jeremy into the kitchen. He looked over at his mom, honestly excited to see her home and cooking (the last time she had done this was before he found Jeremy). “Mm, hi Mom, thanks for lunch, ‘smells delicious,” Michael thanked with what he knew was a sleepy smile. He knew that when they were more awake and sitting down, the questions would come about how they were sleeping and why they had tear stains on their face, but he tries to soak in this domestic moment as it was for now.

“Good afternoon Mrs Mell.” Jeremy let out a small yawn. “Thank you for making lunch, it really _does_ smell good.” Michael held back a chuckle at how polite Jeremy was being. He always seemed to default to his more formal way of talking whenever he met someone new. Was it because of nerves, or something else?

  
“It’s no trouble, boys. You two grab a seat, I’ll bring the food over.” Michael’s mom was smiling but he knew he was going to get questioned about this a lot more intensely later. She had been rather protective ever since Mama…

Michael just nodded in response to his mom before going over to the table with Jeremy. He went to sit down at one of the spots at the table, and he was expecting Jeremy to sit across from him like before, but he sat at the other chair beside him instead. ‘ _Stop overthinking everything, Michael. He just doesn’t. Know. Better._ ’

When Michael turned to talk to Jeremy, he was a little surprised to find him staring at him intensely. Jeremy’s eyes were worried, and he wordlessly got up again, releasing Michael’s hand for now. ‘ _Thank god for that_ ,’ Michael thought, knowing how flustered he would have gotten if Jeremy hadn’t let go.

  
Jeremy quickly grabbed three glasses and the jug of water and brought them back to the table. With a small grin, he poured one for Michael and set it down in front of him. Then Jeremy sat down, trying to be discreet about how he shifted his chair to be a _little_ closer to Michael’s and failing miserably.

  
“Remember what I told you, Michael. You need to keep drinking water!” Jeremy fussed, pouring himself one and one for Michael’s mom too.

‘ _Holy shit, he’s mothering me now. I don’t know if this is adorable or... Yeah, it’s adorable, fuck me._ ’ Michael gave a smile to him at that before grabbing the glass. “Yes mom, I know. I’ll keep myself hydrated,” he joked with the roll of his eyes before drinking a good portion of the glass that Jeremy had generously poured for him.

Jeremy giggled and lightly shoved Michael’s arm.

  
“I’m not your mom, she is!”

  
“That’s right, I am. And I have lunch!” She bustled over to the table, balancing three bowls of fried rice. She placed a portion in front each of the boys and sat herself down.

  
“Thank you, Mrs Mell, this looks lovely!” Jeremy waited until she had started eating before he promptly started eating as well. Michael paused, waiting to hear him moan in delight or something but nothing came. Instead, all that happened was a small hum and a happy grin. “This is really good!” ‘ _Does he really find my cooking that good?! He’s barely reacting to this!_ ’ Michael internally freaked out, but he instead just focused on eating his food.

As they ate, Michael glanced between his actual mom and his faux mom, worry starting to bubble around in his mind. She seemed to be taking to Jeremy well, but what is she was just doing that thing where you pretend until things got serious? What if she didn’t like how protective Jeremy was over him? Unlikely, but he likes to prepare for the unexpected. Instead of voicing these concerns though, he just continued to eat. “This is delicious, thanks for the home-cooked meal.”

“No problem, sweetie. It’s been a while and I felt like cooking.” She was smiling, but what if she was just pretending. A silence fell over the table. It was sort of comfortable, but Michael suspected it was actually very tense because Jeremy was _half staring at his mom_! 

  
“I don’t think I’ve said this yet, but thank you so much for letting me stay, both in your house and in the village. I’m... really grateful that don’t have to go back.” Jeremy’s tone was serious and sincere, and Michael could tell his mom actually melted at the honesty in his voice. Good. Jeremy didn’t deserve to be grilled or anything, it wasn’t his fault after all.

  
“Of course, Jeremy. I wasn’t about to leave you for the wolves, especially after what we saw.” Jeremy looked a little confused at her statement, but didn’t press it.

  
“Left to the wolves means left in danger.” Michael leant over to whisper to Jeremy, and his confusion cleared instantly. A blinding grin was sent to both Michael and his mom.

Michael felt his stomach flip and his chest warm up with that grin, though he wasn’t sure about his mom. He could see her smile back from his peripheral vision, but was it just a courtesy smile? Instead of answering his questions fueled by his building anxiety, Michael continued to eat his mom’s food.

Vaguely, Michael was aware that his mom was talking again, but he couldn’t focus on what she was saying. He just had to keep eating his food and hoping that his mom and Jeremy would get along. Things would be fine, no reason to worry, Jeremy was literally the most likeable and polite person ever. So why was he worried?

  
“Micah?” Jeremy’s gentle voice snapped him out of his thoughts. ‘ _Just... be cool_ ,’ he thought to himself. No reason to bring up issues that hadn’t even happened.

  
“What’s up, Jere?” He tried an approximation of a grin, and he was pretty sure it was damn convincing, it had worked on everyone else. Not Jeremy.

  
“You’re doing it again, Micah...” Jeremy’s tone was sad, concerned. His blue eyes were hyper focused on Michael’s. “Things are allowed to be bad, remember? What’s wrong?” His voice was barely over a whisper, trying to coax Michael open again. He barely registered that his mom was watching the two curiously, not wanting to interrupt their little moment.

He still felt that warmth bloom in his chest with Jeremy's concern, and he just let out a sigh as he scooped up some vegetables onto his spoon. "It's nothing, just my brain being stupid and thinking up too many 'what-if' situations and becoming an anxious blob of a mess. I'm used to that kinda thing, don't worry," he tried to insist, though knew Jeremy wouldn't just 'not worry' about this. Still, Michael could try, and he sort of tried to end the worry by focusing on his food and eating. If he just let things happen and not let his anxieties ruin this, everything would be fine…

“I understand. My brain does that too...” Jeremy murmured. Michael made a sort of surprised noise, but then he vaguely remembered the conversation last night. Jeremy sounded like he had anxiety too. It was sort of comforting, knowing he wasn’t being judged for it.

  
“Can I touch you?” Jeremy asked. The question was a bit of a surprise, but Michael quickly nodded. He wasn’t so anxious that he was overwhelmed. The warm pressure of Jeremy’s shoulder was very relaxing though, and Michael felt his anxieties melt just a little. If Jeremy could make it through this, so could he.

Now that he felt a bit more grounded, he looked up from his plate of food to see his mom looking at the pair. His cheeks quickly warmed, and Michael's gaze shifted back down to his food, ignoring the small, knowing chuckle that passed her lips. Yeah, he knew that he could be an open book, but he just hoped she didn't shout about his crush. ' _Anxiety, that literally isn't going to happen, shut the fuck up._ '

Looking over, Michael saw that Jeremy was also blushing a little, though why he couldn’t figure out. Still, the small smile, bright eyes and rosy cheeks only helped to make him that much more adorable. 

  
“There you are,” Jeremy murmured, his voice happy. “C’mon, let’s eat. This is too nice to waste and I know you’re normally hungry.” He turned back to Michael’s mom and his smile turned a little more shy and bashful. ”Sorry for ignoring you for a few minutes, Mrs Mell. I didn’t intend to be rude.”

"Oh, you weren't rude at all, Jeremy, don't worry about it," she said, a soft smile gracing her features as she glanced between the two. Her doing so only made Michael continue to eat his food to avoid having to talk about any of this. "I'm glad to see that you can talk to Mikey and help him out, even if you two haven't known each other for that long."

“Well he’s he’s helped me out a lot, ma’am, and not just in helping me stay here. He’s honestly my best friend and I just want to help him as best I can.” Jeremy’s answer was instantaneous, like he had thought about it a lot. The thought warmed Michael, the fact that Jeremy considered him his best friend. And judging by the slightly shocked but unbelievably fond expression on his mom’s face, she was touched too.

“I really like spending time with Brooke, Jenna and Chrissy, but out of everyone, I’d prefer to spend time with Michael. So having him happy and healthy means a lot to me.” Jeremy’s cheeks went a red but he didn’t try to change his statement. It made sense he was a little embarrassed, that was the first time Jeremy had ever explained his emotions to someone other than Michael.

Michael's mom seemed unable to keep herself from smiling fondly down at Jeremy. She seemed to hesitate for a moment before reaching a hand over and gently patting the top of Jeremy's hand that rested on the table. "Well, I'm really glad that you care so much about my Mikey and want the best for him. You're welcome to stay with us as long as you like, especially since we aren't planning on making new homes here anytime soon." Her suggestion and invitation made Michael both excited and nervous, because yes, he loved Jeremy being around, but it would make it so much harder to deal with his crush on him, dear god.

Jeremy grinned brightly, then deflated a little. “Um, does that mean you’ll be getting another bed? Because Michael said he would take the couch until I had a proper place to stay and I won’t kick him out of his bed permanently.” The chuckle at the end was a little sheepish, but only Michael realised it was because that was not what had happened last night. He felt his cheeks heat up once more, then squashed the sweet feelings down. ‘ _Not now, gay thoughts._ ’ He lightly jostled Jeremy’s shoulder, a promise they’d figure something out. Jeremy shot him a small smile and a nod.

"Well, I was going to suggest trying to change our storage room into a room for you, but I'll let you two talk it out I guess." Oh, he could hear in her tone of voice that she was enjoying this, and he just wanted to curl up into a ball at this point. Instead, he had to face reality like a human being, unfortunately, and just smiled and thanked her. 

  
The rest of lunch seemed to go off without any more issues, and Michael's mom seemed to not want to ask about what happened earlier on the couch. She probably had a good idea based off of what she heard and saw during lunch, so Michael was honestly relieved in that regard. "I came back to eat with you guys, but I have to go out and do more work, unfortunately," his mom announced as she put their dishes into the sink. "I'll be back late tonight, so I won't be back in time for dinner. You two have a good night though."

  
"Thanks, Mom." He playfully pouted when she came by and pressed a motherly kiss to his cheek and ruffled his hair, though watched as she patted Jeremy on the head before leaving the two alone in the house again.

As soon as she was out the house, Jeremy deflated a little.

  
“That was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and I’ve rewired a sector by hand.” Michael chuckled and ruffled his hair.

  
“Why are you so freaked? You won her over no problem.” He was genuinely confused, Jeremy had handled everything easily and smoothly. He didn’t show even an ounce of nerves.

  
“Yeah, but I had to make sure she liked me because she’s your mom and I wanted to make a good impression! Besides, I’m living in her house too. I... I was just worried that I wouldn’t be good enough that she would actually like me. I’m used to hiding my nerves and stuff, but they were very much there!”

"Well, you did a very good job," he reassured, giving him a big smile before getting up to clean the dishes she put into the sink. "I could already tell she liked you though. She was very fond of you during your case, and after when I was getting you to the healing house, she was the one who insisted you stay with me and fought hard to make sure of it."

Jeremy smiled back, some more energy bleeding through as he got up to help dry again. “I’ll have to make sure to thank her for that.” Jeremy was drying everything automatically, obviously lost in thought. “I still don’t remember much of what happened with the council.” He eventually sighed. “And still don’t understand what’s been happening with me and feeling these extra emotions. Like, I do like it but I don’t get _how_.”

A frown graced Michael's face as he cleaned off some stain on a dish before handing it over for Jeremy to dry. "Well... It's a bit much, and even if we aren't at the base and won't be for the next week, I can at least explain that.

  
"What you were doing was, well, letting your soul out. Our magic is based on your soul, since it's sort of the culmination of you and who you are. Our emotions stem from there, as well as our personality and just who we are. Something sort of... snapped in you, I guess, when one of the council members tried to use a spell on you to try to help you, and your soul sorta went on the defensive and came out. metaphorically speaking and literally." 

  
Michael glanced over at Jeremy, seeing the gears turning in his head at what he said. "You sort of had a vision of your soul out and present to everyone. It was a bright blue. All souls sort of have a color and that lets them have certain strengths compared to others. Blue's a rarer one, and the brighter your soul's color is, the more powerful it is, so it definitely surprised the council." As he finished explaining, Michael had finished washing the dishes, his hands idling by the edge of the sink as his hands were covered in water and suds. "I know it's a lot to take in, and if you need me to explain something better, please let me know..."

Jeremy opened and closed his mouth a few times, eyes wide. He was standing ramrod straight and Michael was worried he had scared Jeremy. He opened his mouth to say something, but Jeremy best him to it.

  
“I have... magic?” His voice cracked, but he didn’t sound scared. “I’ve been doing _magic_ this whole time?” Michael nodded carefully, watching Jeremy’s reaction. “I have magic. And it was my soul at th-“ Jeremy cut himself off with a shocked gasp, and Michael could have sworn he saw Jeremy’s eyes flickering with a brighter blue. He thought he’d seen that a lot recently. ‘ _Maybe that’s how his powers manifest?_ ’ Michael mused to himself.

  
Jeremy was staring at him, a look of awe on his face. It was... a little much, if he were honest and once again he opened his mouth to say something, only to he cut off by Jeremy.

  
“You’re so _bright_ , Micah. And _red_.” His voice was soft, reverent. Michael looked down at himself and found he didn’t look any different. Slowly, Jeremy reached out and placed a hand on Michael’s arm. The touch sent warm, calming shocks through him, but he couldn’t make himself move away. Then Jeremy blinked a few times and the shocks slowed to a stop.

Michael felt he could move once the shocks eventually stopped, and he was still quite shocked (pun not intended for once) about what Jeremy did. Even if he knew a lot about magic, he didn't know much about the type with a blue soul since he hadn't even encountered someone with one until now. 

  
He mentally shook his head because he knew he needed to focus on now, and that meant Jeremy. Looking at him then, he reached up and put his hand over Jeremy's that rested on his arm, watching as the blue in his eyes returned to their normal hue. "Jeremy? Are you alright?"

Jeremy was still looking at him with that awed expression.

  
“You were glowing, Micah. You were glowing and it was so _pretty_. And-“ Jeremy let out a shocked gasp. Michael’s head was spinning, what exactly had Jeremy seen? “I saw you, Micah. Just like that first time with the council. I remember, I saw everyone like that...” Jeremy took a shuddery breath, but he was smiling widely. “Your soul is so _bright_ , Micah.”

By this point, Michael was sure his face was as red and bright as he was saying his soul was. He had to look away by this point because he was getting so flustered by his honesty and how in awe Jeremy was of him. "I... _Thanks_ ," he managed to get out, pulling his hand back so he could stuff both of them into the front pocket of his hoodie.

Jeremy jerked himself back, his own face going bright red too. He rubbed at his own arm, looking flustered.

  
“I-erm, sorry. I just. I’ve- I couldn’t remember the council and I-“ Jeremy took a second to try to organise his thoughts. Michael hazarded a quick glance in his direction and saw how awkward he looked while still looking sort of happy. “I was just surprised is all. Yours was the brightest in the room besides the white one at the council table. And just now, yours is brighter than mine. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” He chuckled awkwardly at the end of his little... confession? Whatever it was, Michael did feel a little bad for making Jeremy feel that way.

  
“S’not your fault Jere, it’s just not often I hear such _genuine_ compliments.” Michael managed a small grin. Jeremy’s brown furrowed and he opened his mouth to say something, before seeming to think better of it and just smile weakly back.

Michael, seeing that he seemed to be uncomfortable himself at this point, reached over to him and grabbed his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. The way Jeremy seemed to relax helped to comfort himself as well before he tugged him out of the kitchen. "We'll put those away later or use them for dinner," Michael reassured, referring to the neatly-stacked dishes before bringing him back into the living room where the comfy couch and fluffy blanket were. 

  
A soft, "Alright, " escaped Jeremy as he was lead to the couch, and Michael flopped down to the side so Jeremy could wrap himself up as comfortably and tightly as he wanted in his favorite blanket in the house. ' _Maybe I should just tell him it's his now, especially since the only things he technically owns are his clothes and the bag it came in..._ '

Jeremy looked so cute that Michael just decided _fuck it_ and just decided that Jeremy deserved it.

  
“You know, no one else uses that blanket. You can keep it if you like, you seem rather attached to it.” Michael tried to sound casual and for the most part, he managed, and he didn’t think Jeremy picked up on his nervousness.

  
Jeremy’s eyes went wide and he looked so hopeful. “Really?” When Michael nodded, Jeremy grinned and rolled a little around on the sofa, giggling a little. “Thank you!”  
  
  


"Of course, no need to worry about it," Michael said with as casual of a shrug that he could muster. "It makes you happy, so you can have it." He gave Jeremy a smile as he watched the other practically cling to his blanket, trying to keep his heart from swelling _too_ much at the sight (he was failing at that, but it was the thought that counted, right?).

Jeremy looked up at Michael with big, happy blue eyes. “Thanks Micah. It really means a lot to me.” His voice was just so happy that Michael couldn’t help but smile back.

Michael just hummed in response, watching as Jeremy eventually scooted himself closer to Michael's form, even if he was closer to the other side of the couch. He really just wanted to enjoy this solitary moment that he knew was coming, but he needed to talk about it first. "Uh, Jere?"

  
"Hm?" Jeremy looked up at him as he was now shoulder-to-shoulder with Michael, and it took all the taller of the two had not to just melt against him.

  
"Um... Well, I wanted to talk to you about something called, uh, intimacy? D'you know what that means?" He could feel his stomach slowly twisting with anxiety, but this was Jeremy, who was still learning, who considered him _his best friend_. Michael, with that in mind, eased the nauseous feeling inside of him as he looked over at Jeremy.

“Not really, no.” Jeremy sounded a little worried, maybe he had picked up on Michael’s conflicted emotions? “I mean I know the meaning of intimate. like intimate knowledge, but I don’t think that’s what you mean...” Jeremy’s eyes were wide, concerned.

"Yeah, it isn't," Michael agreed, though gave the other as reassuring of a smile as he could muster. "This isn't anything bad, don't worry Jere." He saw relief flood his eyes, though there was still some concern left in there. "Well, there are different kinds of intimacy, and the one I'm referring to is intimacy with people, which is new to you, right?" Watching Jeremy nod, Michael let out a soft hum as he continued, fiddling with his own fingers as he spoke.

  
"Well, it's when you sorta deeply know and feel for someone, and you can be intimate in many different ways with different people. Like, you can be intimate with a friend with what you tell them and how you act around one another. You can also be intimate with people you like more than that, like... like how Brooke and Christine like each other. They're dating each other and love each other, so they'd be more intimate with things they do with each other than I would be with either of them, y'know?" 

  
He watched Jeremy nod again, and he kept going, or at least tried to. "Well, I... Um..." ' _God damnit, now isn't the time to get nervous about this_.'

“Well that makes sense. I mean, I like hugs from Brooke and Jenna and Chrissy, but I don’t think I’d feel normal if I, like, fell asleep on them.” Jeremy sounded a little confused as to what Michael was getting at. Michael squirmed a little under his gaze.

"Yeah, exactly, though it feels normal for Chrissy and Brooke to fall asleep with each other and on each other," Michael explained, fiddling even more with his fingers. "D'you sorta get what I'm saying?"

“Not really. I mean, they love each other right? And I like them but not how they like each other. But I don’t get what you’re getting at, no.” Jeremy made it a point to squirm closer to Michael at that point, nuzzling into the blanket and into Michael’s shoulder. God, Jeremy was going to _kill_ Michael at this rate.

"Well, you're doing stuff with me that Brooke and Christine would normally do with each other, and stuff other people who date only do with each other in this kinda way," Michael elaborated as he tugged hard on his fingers, to the point where there was a 'pop' where the air made noise. "Which means..."

Jeremy’s face flushed, and he averted his gaze. “Oh...” Jeremy slowly moved himself away from Michael, wrapping the blanket around him tighter. “Sorry...” and he sounded sad and... disappointed? But not embarrassed, like he didn’t want it. Michael was confused by the expression. Jeremy mumbled something that Michael couldn’t make out, and he couldn’t seem to make eye contact.

Frowning at that, Michael moved a little closer to him this time, gently reaching forward to place a hand on his shoulder. "You don't have to be sorry, I just wanted you to know because others might not be welcome to that kinda thing. I'm a very tactile kinda dude, so that stuff's good and welcomed with me. I didn't want you to not understand and have someone get upset with you, and I am not upset with you, so you know." He gave a gentle squeeze to the other's shoulder before looking at him with worry. "I'm sorry if I made you upset at all, it wasn't my intention."

Jeremy shook his head. “I thought I made _you_ upset. And... I don’t...” Jeremy mumbled something that Michael couldn’t make out properly, but he did lean into the touch, so it couldn’t be too bad.

  
“What was that, Jere? I couldn’t hear what you said.” Michael kept his voice soft, and Jeremy flushed again.

  
“I said I don’t wanna cuddle with anyone else...” His words were mumbled and unclear, but Michael could just about make it out. Jeremy hid his face in the blanket. “You’re my best friend, Michael. I don’t wanna cuddle anyone else.”

He felt his cheeks warm at that, and he was relieved that Jeremy’s face was practically buried into his blanket so that the other couldn’t see it. “Well, I’m... I’m honored, really. You’re practically my best friend too-“ Sorry Jenna and Brooke, but he was honestly getting there, regardless of his crush or not. “-and cuddling with you is great. I’ve only ever really done that with my moms, but that’s more a familial-tactile thing.”

  
Michael watched Jeremy shift his face against the blanket to look more at him, and he quickly glanced away and rubbed at his cheeks to try to get the red to fade. “So yeah, I’m still all good with cuddling, but I just... yeah...”

“I... erm. I’ve never really been... held before,” Jeremy confessed, turning his gaze up to Michael. “They... they weren’t allowed to hold me. And I don’t think my mother wanted to either. Dad did, I know he did, but he wasn’t allowed to... and you’re the only one who... who I feel... safe enough with to be held by.” Jeremy looked away again, burying his burning face back into the blanket, still leaning into Michael’s touch.

Michael felt a mixture of feelings swelling up in his chest, but he decided to act on the one he felt was most important right now. “I’m very honored then, and I’m sorry about that. Would it... would it be alright if I held you right now?”

Jeremy nodded, not removing his face from his cocoon. Michael wasted no time in scooping Jeremy up in a hug. Jeremy nuzzled into Michael’s chest.

  
“M’sorry,” Jeremy mumbled, “I should been better now, I’m away from there.”

Michael just held him closer then, going to scratch Jeremy’s head as he moved his fingers through his hair. “Recovery from that kinda stuff is a long process, you’ve grown up with that you’re whole life. If you were all better by now, I would be a bit frightened, honestly.” He looked down at Jeremy, his heart aching for the other. “Just... promise to tell me about what you’re feeling so I can understand and help you out, yeah?”

Jeremy hummed, almost purring at the gentle sensation in his hair, and he nodded. “Promise.”


	5. He Sees Your True Colors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, thank you guys so much for over 200 hits already? Mara and I are so happy you guys love this so much!   
> This chapter is a bit of a build-up for some more intense stuff that's happening in Chapter 6, so I hope you guys enjoy this! <3  
> Finally, some words from Mara (what_in_the):
> 
> 'This chapter was a big, gay disaster and I love it. That is all.'

Over the course of the next week, the two went around and spent time together while Jeremy was under observation. Michael insisted and finally got Jeremy to sleep in his bed while he took the couch so that they could get use to some healthy distance. He enjoyed learning more about Jeremy and sharing his own life with him, and he felt his heart swelling more and more around him. What he was feeling was definitely no longer a crush, closer to love, and that, as a seventeen year old, scared him.

  
After the eighth or so day of Jeremy sleeping in his bed, he woke to said boy shaking him ever so gently awake. “Micah!” His tone was hushed but full of excitement, and that drew Michael to a form of consciousness to where he could focus on the adorable freckled boy. “Your mom just left, but she told me some great news! She wanted to tell us last night, but she got back too late.”

  
“Mm?” Reaching up, Michael rubbed at his eyes as he tries to rid himself of the sleepiness he felt. “What ‘s it?”

  
“We can leave the community now! I still have to stick with you, but it’s not like that’s a bad thing!” Jeremy practically cheered, his grin wide and almost infectious (it would be completely infectious if he wasn’t mostly asleep).

  
“Really? That’s great. Once ‘m more awake, we can make breakfast together ‘n celebrate before going to the base,” Michael practically yawned out as he went to curl back under the blankets and nuzzle against his pillow. “Later though...”

Jeremy giggled and ruffled Michael’s hair playfully. Michael responded with a playful swat.

“C’mon Micah! I wanna go see my dad and hang out with everyone again!” Jeremy whined, kneeling down so he was at eye level with Michael and resting his head on Michael’s pillow. This close to Jeremy’s face, Michael could pick out every single freckle, each individual eyelash. As always, Michael bolted upright, away from Jeremy. He used that trick too often these days.

  
“Jere, that’s not fair!” Michael complained, pulling the blankets back up to his chin.

  
“Then stop letting it work.” Jeremy seemed entirely unperturbed, already used to this conversation; they had it every other morning since Jeremy had first slept alone.

Michael narrowed his eyes at the other as he tried to let his heart rate settle. Oh, if he was going to play dirty, then Michael was going to do the same.

  
“Well, how about this: we wait while we _both_ lie down, and then we make breakfast and go? They won’t know we’re coming, and it’ll be a surprise.” He knew that Jeremy had become a sucker for cuddling, and since they were both alright with it platonically (he was beginning to wish it was way more than that as of recent, but shut the _hell up, brain_ ), it became almost habitual for them.

Jeremy half pouted, but didn’t refuse the offer to cuddle. In fact, he climbed onto the couch and into Michael’s arms in record speed. Apparently someone was feeling particularly clingy today, not that Michael would ever complain.

Once he was properly settled and readjusted under the blanket, Michael held him close before resting his head back down. He honestly just wanted to go back to sleep for now, but he knew that Jeremy would eventually poke and prod at him until he got up. So, instead of going back to sleep, he tried to wake himself up with enjoyable small talk.

  
“So, now that I’ve won this morning debate, what do I get?” Michael teased, glancing up at the other with a sleepy smile.

Jeremy grumbled a little and snuggled deeper into Michael’s embrace. Then, with a happy sigh, he met Michael’s gaze with a small smile and innocent eyes.

  
“I don’t know Michael. Anything you want.” Jeremy poked Michael’s cheek before adding seriously, “Except my blanket. That’s too special.” The small giggle at the end made it clear this was a joke, but _god_ if it didn’t get to Michael just a little bit.

His brain, of course, unhelpfully went to one thing: a kiss. ‘ _Shut the fuck up, brain._ ’ “Hmm... Well, I’m really too tired to think of anything right now,” Michael lied, “And you’re super smart, so you tell me some ideas and I’ll tell you which one I want.”

“Micah! That’s not how it works!” Jeremy giggled, but he nodded. “Fine! I’ll figure something out.” Jeremy was quiet for a minute as he calmed down. For a second, Michael thought that maybe Jeremy had fallen asleep. He was a little surprised when Jeremy spoke up again.

  
“Is it normal to dream every night? And like, dream different things? We never really got around to talking about them all that much.” His voice was soft, curious but there was layer of something underneath it that Michael couldn’t quite place.

Instead of trying to figure out what he couldn’t place, Michael answered what he did know. “Yeah, dreams can range from being wildly different and having no relation to being continuations of previous dreams sometimes. Mom told me that you can have up to seven dreams a night, but you never remember them all. They can reflect what’s happened during the day too,” Michael supplied, his brain sort of giving him information to rattle off. He almost got lost in it, but then a yawn cut him off. “Though, you can have bad dreams too, and those are called nightmares. Sometimes they have no reason to be there, but they can be caused by something. I... I have some sometimes still because of Mama,” he admitted before nuzzling his face further into his pillow.

  
He looked down at Jeremy after that, curious. “Why d’you ask? Have you had a lot of ‘em?”

Jeremy was quiet for a moment, then sort of nodded.

  
“Yeah, I’ve had quite a few dreams recently. Like, every night. They’re.... not so nice, mostly. Like, I’m fine, once I wake up I sleep fine after, but yeah.” Jeremy looked away, his expression unreadable. “I guess they’re nightmares, but it’s fine.”

As soon as the last words left Jeremy’s mouth, Michael pulled Jeremy closer to him before he started to scratch his scalp-something he learned that Jeremy loved and helped to relax him immensely. “It’s not fine, Jere. Those are scary and can be really unsettling and unnerving.” 

With concern and care in his eyes, Michael looked down at the other, even if he wasn’t looking at him (though he seemed to be physically relaxing under his touch). “Those are terrible to have, and I know I’m a wreck after I have one. Is there anything I can do to help you, especially if they’re happening basically every night?”

Jeremy made a noncommittal grunt, and sort of nuzzled up against Michael’s hand.

  
“They’re weird though, like they’re not what I think conventionally scary is supposed to be. Like most of them are me... back. There. Y’know? And I’m aware and I’m feeling, but I’m stuck back where I was or on my way to be a Brain, and I can’t do anything to stop it. I’m just... doing what I’m told like I did back then.” Jeremy sounds a little disconnected and distant, but Michael knew it was only because Jeremy was actually scared. “The only ones that are actually scary are the ones with the SQUIP. I met him once. He was terrifying and I felt so wrong the whole time I was near him. Everyone else seemed to love him. And in my dreams he’s there and he’s angry and he’s using the stuff I created against me to make the shots work again.” Jeremy trailed off, breathing slowly and pressing against Michael’s hand a little more.

Michael frowned as he listened to that, bringing him even closer as he used the hand around Jeremy to rub soothing circles into his covered skin. “That... that sounds terrifying to even have to be back there, let alone with the SQUIP,” Michael murmured out, looking at Jeremy as he tried to physically comfort him. “You have to be terrified after all of those dreams, Jere. Really, please tell me what I can do to help. If you have any idea, let me know, because I know that when I first had my nightmares, I was a crying, sobbing wreck and Mom would comfort me every time after I first started having them.” His heart and chest ache for him, but he didn’t want to press further into this and get more out of Jeremy that he didn’t want to tell him right now. That would just be cruel to force him to explain when he wasn’t ready.

Jeremy perked up a bit, then deflated.

  
“We... no, never mind. It’s stupid,” he sighed. Michael frowned, and gently tilted Jeremy’s head to face him again.

  
“It you think it’ll help, it’s not stupid. Please tell me?” He didn’t want to force Jeremy, but he did _really_ want to help. Jeremy sighed, averting his eyes as his cheeks flushed slightly.

  
“I just... you know how I still need naps and stuff? I don’t get them when you’re there,” he mumbled.

He knew right away what Jeremy was getting at, and he had to work hard to keep his heart from fluttering too much at the thought. “So, it was basically a bad idea for Mom to order another bed for you when us staying in the same bed helps you?” Michael explained. He couldn’t help but smile at Jeremy’s quick nodding before Michael glanced to the stairs. “Well, I _have_ missed my bed, and if it helps you, then yeah, of course I can lie and sleep with you whenever you need it.”  
  
  


Jeremy’s cheeks were bright red, but his expression was hopeful. ‘ _He just wants a good night sleep is all. Don’t get excited, Michael._ ’

“Really? You’d be alright with that?” Jeremy finally made eye contact, his blue eyes near enough sparking with happiness. Michael’s own face heated and, not for the first time, he was grateful for his darker skin tone which covered his start of a blush.

  
“‘Course Jere, whatever you need.”

Jeremy’s face broke out into a grin at that, and he snaked his arms around Michael to bring him into a warm hug. ‘ _I said to stop getting so excited, Michael!_ ’

  
“Thank you so much, Micah,” Jeremy said with that adorable grin, his eyes practically making Michael melt as he returned the hug.

  
“Of course, don’t worry about it,” Michael reassured him as he kept himself from burying his face into Jeremy’s hair because no, that’s bad, and would be weird for someone who was your best friend, damnit!

Except Jeremy made it worse. He buried his face into the crook of Michael’s shoulder, his breath fanning over Michael’s neck ever so slightly, humming happily.

  
“Damn, I always forget how warm you are. M’starting to get sleepy now,” he murmured, lips just a little way from brushing against Michael’s skin.

Meanwhile, Michael was wide awake. His face was flaming and he was sure that Jeremy could hear how loudly his heart was beating, even if he wasn’t anywhere close to his chest like before. Instead of mentioning that, Michael got out, “Yeah, well we’re supposed to be getting up soon for celebratory breakfast, ‘ya goof. Don’t fall asleep on me just yet.”  
  
  


“But you’re warm!” Jeremy grumbled, snuggling closer. Then his huffed and pushed himself up onto his forearms. The remains of the warm breath brought up gooseflesh as Michael tried his hardest to match the energy Jeremy’s cheeky grin. “Can we have pancakes again? With honey?” Jeremy looked so sweet, how could Michael deny him that?

  
“Sure, Jere. C’mon, you can help this time.”

  
Jeremy’s cheers and whoops had Michael laughing once they got up, and he followed the more energetic of the two into the kitchen. He got out the ingredients, though had Jeremy chop the fruits and help place them in as he made the pancakes. The pride Jeremy radiated made Michael’s heart swell, though he just smiled and complimented him on his help.

  
It didn’t take as long to have the pancakes ready with his help, and they were sitting at the table, eating their respective pancakes with honey poured over their stacks. “So, after we clean up and get changed, we can head out,” Michael informed Jeremy after finishing a bite of his food.  
  
  


Jeremy shot to his feet, a large grin on is face.

  
“Well let’s get to it then! I wanna see everyone!” He bounced on the balls of his feet as he actually began running the sink. Michael chuckled and followed Jeremy over. They both giggled a little when the bubbles suddenly appeared in full force. Glancing over, Michael saw just how happy Jeremy looked. He radiated joy and energy. It was an awesome sight, he’d grown so much emotionally in the past week. Jason ought to be proud.

Michael had to actually calm Jeremy down a bit so they could properly wash and dry everything. Once they got everything put away and changed up, Michael was practically dragged outside and down the foliage that the community nestled themselves into. “Jeremy, please slow down, you’re gonna end up ripping my arm out of it’s socket!” he teased with a grin as he followed Jeremy, hopping down the last few steps with him to land feet-first into the grass.

“But I haven’t really seen them in ages! Like I haven’t seen them since the council. I wanna show them how much I’ve learnt!” Jeremy was bouncing like an excitable child, and to some extent he was, Michael mused to himself as he started to lead them towards towards the mine. This was all still new to Jeremy, he’d only really be able to feel for about two weeks with more and more coming to him every day.

  
“They’re gonna be so proud of you, Jere.” Michael couldn’t help but grin.

Jeremy just grinned back, his excitement radiating in waves that had Michael bouncing on the balls of his feet by the time they were almost there.

  
Once they did finally arrive at the cave though, Michael made the gesture to stay quiet. Jeremy nodded, though his grin was still plastered to his face. Michael smiled back and walked in as quietly as possible, listening for the four he knew would be inside (Chrissy normally didn’t come, but she had in Michael’s absence).

  
As they arrived outside of the room he heard their voices emanating from, Michael quietly opened the door before announcing, “Guess who passed his observation and is staying!” He couldn’t help but grin at Jenna’s jump into the air and curses she let out, but didn’t apologize (at least not yet).

Jeremy burst into the room and instantly launched himself at his dad, who opened his arms.

  
“They let me stay, dad! They let me stay!” he babbled, making Michael smile softly. He leaned against the doorframe and watched the reunion with a bittersweet sort of pride. He watched as everyone cheered and gathered around Jeremy to congratulate him. Jeremy was one officially part of the community, but that meant Michael would have to share him. He had selfishly enjoyed their time with just each other, even though he was beyond happy that Jeremy could have some more freedom. Still, Michael wasn’t about to let that stop him from enjoying this or stop Jeremy from enjoying it.

  
“He’s won over everyone who’s spent even ten seconds with him. You raised yourself a good one, Jason.” Michael chuckled, and Jason shot him his customary, lazy salute.

As Jeremy kept on happily chatting and babbling with everyone who would listen, Jenna ended up approaching Michael with a soft smile before punching his arm. He played it off like it hurt (it did a little, but he wouldn’t let her know that) and rubbed his arm with an over-the-top pout. “ _That’s_ for the scare earlier.”

  
“Fair, fair,” Michael muttered out, watching as Jenna rolled her eyes.

  
“Anyway, while you’ve been gone, we’ve discussed some plans with the stuff Jeremy gave us when he was stuck here for that first week. I need to show you what we came up with.” Michael nodded at that, even if he was hesitant for a moment to leave Jeremy alone. Glancing over at Jeremy though, and seeing how happy he was to be talking with his dad and the other girls, he couldn’t help but smile.

  
“Alright, let's leave ‘em be to catch up while _you_ catch _me_ up.” Jenna rolled her eyes at him, giving a mimic mock-salute to Michael before dragging his snickering form out of the room.

Jenna dragged Michael all the way to Jeremy’s old room, which also happen to be the document storage room.

  
“We’ve found out two main things from everything Jeremy’s given us so far. Firstly we know that the SQUIP needs those Brains Jeremy kept mentioning to be able to function. Like, he has a set of them in every Inside he goes to. We’re pretty certain that if we can disconnect them from his local lot, it would make the SQUIP weak enough for us actually take down.” Jenna was straight to business, pointing out the circular building in the middle of the diagram of the Inside. “They’re kept on the twenty-third floor of this building. It has its own power source so causing a power cut wouldn’t be an option. They would need to be disconnected manually. What we don’t know what a Brain is, I need more information from Jeremy for that.”

Michael, if he hadn’t had a week to process what a Brain was and how it would be a blessing in disguise to release these poor people, would have hesitated before explaining _who_ theBrains were. He quickly debriefed Jenna on Brains, and he saw the horror that lingered on her face before he looked down to the drawing. “The sooner we can get them disconnected, the better...” From the corner of his vision, he as Jenna nod. “What was the second thing you found out?”

“We’ve finally managed to figure out what the SQUIP is.” Jenna’s grim was nigh on wicked and if Michael didn’t know her so well he would have been terrified. As it was, he had to repress a shiver. “He’s an A-Class Demon, just one step below the Princes of Hell. He’s got power of electricity and can possess humans. From what we’ve learnt from Jason, and what Jeremy has told us of his habits, he actually puts a piece of his energy into all the shots, that’s how he’s able to suppress emotion and have the basic control. Our witch blood detects that and fights back as best it can.” Jenna took a breath, and Michael leant forward just a bit, beyond curious. “We can use this against him. Firstly, there are anti-possession potions we can make. They’re complex, but not impossible. And demons of that level can’t exist in our realm without a physical body to possess. We kill his host, we banish him. Either that or we recruit a couple of powerful orange souls to help, they could probably destroy him for good.”

“Well, that explains a lot,” Michael muttered out as he looked back to the layout sketch, the gears in his brain turning. “We would need to give him a reason to come back here though, and it’s likely he wouldn’t come back for a while, at least until when Jeremy would be of age, along with the rest of his group, to replace the old Brains. Once we either have the potions, the souls, or both preferably, we need something that would lure him here and a way to actually get him in a vulnerable enough of a position.” Looking back at Jenna after word-vomiting his thoughts out, he couldn’t help but smile. “Thanks for even figuring this out though, you guys really are amazing.”

Jenna’s grin went from wolffish to more genuine.

  
“If you hadn’t insisted we get Jeremy in the first place, we wouldn’t have any of this. He’s the one you need to thank, we just put the pieces together.” Michael opened his mouth to reply when a voice echoed from the doorway.

  
“He’ll be back in the summer next year. There’s a celebration of two-hundred years since the first Inside was established. After that, all you need is a small disturbance at one of the factories and he comes running.” Michael looked up to find Jeremy leaning against the doorframe, looking casual but determined. He wandered over to the map Jenna still had out and pointed to three different locations in each sector. “Every sector has a few factories. You create some small disturbances there, like even just some coloured paint on the wall, and he’ll be at the Inside within two days.” Michael had only heard Jeremy sound so serious that first night when he swore he’d help take down the SQUIP. It was a little shocking and a massive shift in mood from half an hour ago when they arrived. “I was important to him, as one of the strongest Future Brains ever, so if I’m seen or I organise a meeting with him, even my name would be enough, he’d be in his office on the thirtieth floor of the Processor.” Jeremy moved his finger to point at the circular building in the center of the city again.

Michael just nodded along with Jeremy, though Jenna seemed to take a minute to recenter herself with Jeremy’s sudden change in demeanor. “Yeah, but he may be anticipating something since you went missing, Jere. He will try to be steps ahead, so we need to figure out many ways to try to take him down and get around in case there are some enforcements of his rule that are right on-top of us if we try something.”

“Trust me when I say I can get him to his office or anywhere else you need him. I could even catch him in bed, when his host’s body needs to rest.” Jeremy’s tone was bitter but he didn’t elaborate. “As for us being at risk getting around, there are leftover sewage systems which were deemed ineffective about one-hundred years ago. They’re layered on top of the current ones, and have been cleaned out. If we can unblock them out, we have free reign of the city.”

  
“How do you even know all this, Jeremy?” Jenna eventually questioned, her voice concerned. Michael couldn’t help but agree.

  
“I was curious. And it was going to be part of my training anyway, so they didn’t bother stopping me.”

Michael just nodded when he looked down over the sketch before taking out a colored pencil and handing it over to Jeremy. “Do you think you could sketch them out as well as any places we could pop out in the city from them?”

Jeremy took the pencil with no hesitation, his hand moving over the paper faster and more accurate than should have really been possible. Within minutes, the network of tunnels were marked out, and every possible exit was noted and numbered. Grabbing a spare piece of piece of paper, Jeremy wrote down exactly what was around each of them, as well as if there were any patrols that went through that area regularly.

  
“There, that’s everything I know about them. Hopefully it’s something we can actually use.” Jeremy sounded a little tired, but not from needing a nap. No, this was an emotional tired, like he was drained by something. Michael gently placed his hand on Jeremy’s arm, and Jeremy instantly grabbed it, shooting Michael a small smile. “I’m fine... anger is just a draining emotion. Thinking about him and what I was missing because of him makes me angry.”

“Well, it’s healthy to feel anger from that and what he did to you,” Michael reassured before he gently squeezed the others hand. “And don’t worry, this is definitely more helpful than you think. We would have had no idea about any of this if it wasn’t for you, Jeremy. Thank you so much.” He saw Jenna nod in agreement before she started to look over the information Jeremy gave them. “Do you still want to sit down after all of that, though?”

Jeremy nodded, his grin still small. Then it turned to shy.

  
“You think everyone might be okay with me doing that... soul thing I can do? I think I know how to trigger it and I really want to see their colors and stuff,” Jeremy murmured, scooting closer to Michael. He looked a little embarrassed, but sort of hopeful.

He gave as reassuring of a smile as he could as he patted Jeremy on the shoulder. “Well, that’s not something you can ask me about. You gotta ask them if they’re alright with it. If you can’t ask them alone, I’ll be there with you to help.”

Jeremy nodded again.

  
“Please. Just... stick close? Make sure I don’t get overwhelmed?” Not letting go of Michael’s hand, Jeremy turned his attention to Jenna.

  
“Ummm, Jenna?” She looked up from her papers, a small smile on her face. “You remember back at the council when my soul appeared? Well, I can sort of trigger it so I can see the colors and brightness just like everyone could see mine. I was wondering, could I actually just... see you? Like that? You can say no, obviously, I just find them really pretty.” Jeremy stuttered a little, and his grip tightened a little on Michael’s hand, but overall he did very well. Michael felt a surge of pride rush through him at how far Jeremy had come.

Jenna blinked in surprise, probably because she hadn’t seen Jeremy and was able to see the huge leap of progress he had made. “Oh, uh, yeah! That sounds real cool. How about we do it with everyone though, unless that’s too much for you? Then you could see everyone’s and it can be a huge, cool kinda celebratory thing.”

  
Jeremy seemed to fill with relief when Jenna agreed, though got a bit more nervous at her suggestion. Michael just squeezed his hand in a reassuring manner, and that seemed to be enough for Jeremy to respond. “Yeah, if everyone’s alright with it.”

  
“I’m sure they will be. Come on.” She waved for Jeremy and Michael to follow her, and Michael just smiled down at Jeremy as they trailed along behind her. He gave a hesitant smile back, though he could see the relief in his eyes, as well as some joy flickering around.

Unsurprisingly, everyone else agreed and Michael felt Jeremy relax against him. They settled everyone in the main room, sitting in a circle. Jeremy stayed close to Michael. He closed his eyes, his brow furrowing and his nose scrunching up adorably. ‘ _Not now. gay thoughts_ ,’ Michael scowled internally at himself once again, already used to suppressing those thoughts. Suddenly, Jeremy’s eyes flew open. His eyes were the bright blue again and Michael heard the others gasp.

  
“Wow... you all look so... amazing!” Jeremy sounded in awe as he looked around the room, grinning. “Dad! Your soul is pink! That’s so awesome!” Jason looked down at himself, blushing but unable to see what Jeremy saw. And apparently Jeremy noticed that, because when he next spoke, it was an instruction.

  
“Everyone, hold hands! I have an idea.” Shrugging, everyone linked up, Michael included. A ripple of energy passed through the circle as soon as Brooke grabbed Jeremy’s other hand and suddenly Michael could _see_.

He looked around and saw everyone _literally glowing_ with color, though some of the color seemed to branch off of everyone. Jenna, beside him, was a vibrant purple, and Jason really was pink (a very welcoming and endearing shade). Brooke and Chrissy surprised him, but only because their respective yellow and green were blending a bit with one another around the edges of their color and in their branching ends. Jeremy, though, holy _shit_ was be a beautiful, deep blue. He thought it would be something akin to how his eyes would glow, but seeing it took his breath away. “Holy shit, I understand what you mean when you say seeing this is amazing...”

“It really is...” Chrissy seemed too stunned for words as she looked at Brooke. Michael spotted her staring at the green in Brooke’s soul, and he wondered what it meant. Michael also noticed that Jeremy didn’t seem to be getting tired from sustaining this. If anything, he seemed stronger. Then Michael saw it. Some of the ribbony branches were moving around the circle, dipping and weaving through everyone’s colors. They were sharing energy freely.

  
“I... think our souls are working together? Look!” Michael was getting excited; this was the first new piece of magical knowledge anyone in their village had learnt in years! Souls could work together? Share energy? This was huge!

Jenna’s eyes widened as she looked at this, along with everyone else. Since she was at the end of the hand-holding chain, she took out her tablet and started to type this information down. “This is insane,” she muttered out under her breath, seemingly in awe of all of this. She seemed to also be typing out a lot more than what he mentioned, so he glanced over to see her typing notes on their colors, brightness levels, and Brooke and Christine’s sharing of their soul colors, as well as what that could mean.

“I feel so... lucky that I get to see this. And so happy I can share it.” Jeremy’s voice was soft, but it seemed to echo a little louder through the ribbons. Jenna made a note of that too. “I’m gonna let this drop now. Things might look a little odd for a few seconds without it.” Jeremy warned. Sure enough, the colors faded and vanished entirely. The room looked sort of... empty without the glow. Michael found he instantly missed it, and so did everyone else by the looks of things. Jeremy chuckled, letting go of Brooke’s hand and leaning on Michael’s shoulder.

Michael held him close with an arm around him, watching as Jenna typed down what they all seemed to universally be feeling about this entire experience. "Jeremy, thank you for sharing that with us," he murmured out, and he had to keep himself from pressing a kiss to Jeremy's head because it would be so easy with how they were _positioned and how close he was_ -

  
"How are you feeling after that, son?" Mr. Heere's question to Jeremy brought Michael out of his dazed stupor, and he blinked to himself a few times to shake himself out of it. From the corners of his vision, he saw Brooke stare at him with a knowing, mischievous look, but he decided to ignore it for now and focus on Jeremy for the time being.

Jeremy nodded, a small, almost sleepy grin on his face.

  
“Seeing them always relaxes me, makes me feel a little dopey. I’ll be fine in a minute.” Jeremy nuzzled against Michael’s shoulder a little, getting comfortable, and Michael spotted Mr. Heere’s eyes widen in surprise. Well shit.

Michael glanced to the side at that, trying not to make it seem any more surprising or odd to the elder of the room. Everyone else in the room, however, was starting right between the two of them before focusing in on Michael with knowing looks. ' _For fucks sake, guys!_ '

Jeremy, somehow, managed to remain oblivious to the looks and smirks. Instead, he turned to smile up at Michael. Slowly, Jeremy detached himself from Michael’s side and turned to Brooke.  
“Hey Brooke, didn’t you say you wanted to show me your garden out here after this?” he asked, as if he couldn’t see any of the stares directed at him. He probably didn’t notice. Brooke suddenly got excited and stood up, dragging Jeremy outside.

  
“Oh Jere, you’re gonna love it!”

Jeremy just smiled wide at that, letting Brooke whisk away with him. That mischievous glint was still in her eye, and Michael was worried for the other (not in terms of safety, but on what Brooke would say) until he realized he was alone with everyone else, whose eyes were all on him. ' _Oh god, please just let me curl up into non existence so I can peacefully let this all not happen_.'

“Sooo, Michael. You seem awfully cozy with Jeremy.” Mr. Heere did not sound too happy. Michael nodded, his face flushing a little.

  
“Yep. Yeah, I- er. I am. He’s a little... touch starved. So it helps him?” Michael knew that wasn’t what Mr. Heere was referring to, but he could try. He didn’t even sound convincing to himself. Jenna and Chrissy both giggled a little, watching on curiously.

"I know my son was with you for only a week, and you've gotten a lot closer with him than anyone else, closer than I've seen most people be with anyone else." Michael just nodded again, feeling himself start to sweat bullets. His friends watching and enjoying his suffering definitely wasn't helping.

  
"Y-yeah, we've, uh... We've had a lot of heart-to-hearts! I've been trying to help him understand his emotions and learn how to respond to 'em, y-y'know?" Fuck, he had never been more terrified of a person (especially one he respected liked a father figure) more in his life.

Mr. Heere stood up, towering over Michael who dare not move. He felt himself shrink down a little, subconsciously.

  
“I might not have been the best father to Jeremy in the past, but I hope you know I’m going to be doing that now.” Michael was rendered mute, panic coursing through him. He nodded, eyes wide. Then suddenly, Mr. Heere doubled over laughing. Michael was shocked. What?

  
“Oh, I’m sorry Michael. I couldn’t resist.” Mr. Heere stuttered out through his laughter. Eventually he relaxed as he stood, having calmed down a little. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna bite your head off or anything. I’m glad it’s you, can’t think of anyone better.” He quickly ruffled Michael’s hair affectionately and wandered it the room, leaving Michael reeling.

"I... What the _fuck_ just happened?" Michael questioned out loud, apparently prompting Chrissy and Jenna to almost break down laughing. His cheeks flared up in response, and he pulled his hood up. "Hey, it's not funny!"

  
"Uh, yeah, it really is," Jenna managed to get out between her fits of laughter, wiping away a few stray tears from laughing so hard.

“Don’t worry Michael-” Great, maybe Chrissy will answer his question. “-you’ll understand eventually.” _Fuck._

  
“I need some air or _something_.” Michael half sprinted out of the room and headed towards the entrance of the mine. He really could use a hug from Jeremy right about now. Except Jeremy was talking to Mr. Heere about Brooke’s garden. _Double fuck._

  
“And Brooke says that one is used for relaxation! It’s really cool.” Jeremy sounded so proud that Michael couldn’t help but smile. “Oh yeah, by the way dad, I’m gay.” Michael practically threw himself against the mine wall, hand slapped over his mouth to stop his scream. This was just too much.

There was a brief pause before Mr. Heere spoke up. "Well hi Gay, I'm Bisexual." OK, now this was too much.

  
He heard Jeremy groan from where they were, before a noise that sounded like Jeremy gently punching his shoulder. "Oh my god, _dad_."

  
Mr. Heere and Brooke both laughed as she congratulated him on figuring himself out. "How exactly did you figure that out, Jerry?"

“Well... umm...” Jeremy sounded nervous, and he was most likely blushing. “It’s kinda like I told you on the walk to the village, I just don’t find girls attractive in that way. And...” Jeremy voice died out, probably because he was embarrassed. He needed a hug, but as much as Michael wanted to go and comfort him, he wasn’t exactly in the best state to do so. Eventually, Jeremy mumbled out something, too softly for Michael to make out, but it apparently satisfied Brooke because she let out a large ‘ _whoop!_ ’ of joy.

  
“I knew it!” she cried triumphantly.

  
Mr. Heere just chuckled and Michael could hear Jeremy smacking at his hand. Probably messing up Jeremy’s hair.

  
“Don’t worry, son. That’s perfectly fine with me. I say you go for it.” Mr. Heere sounded proud, but Michael felt conflicted. Go for it? Did... Jeremy like someone? But who? He had been with Michael this whole time... unless it was someone from the Inside, that would make sense.

He entertained the idea for a minute that maybe Jeremy liked _him_? No, no way, he was just hoping too much and setting himself up for heartbreak by thinking that way... right?

  
He just nodded to himself at that, and knowing he wasn’t in a good condition right now to see Jeremy with his conflicted thoughts (plus, he had been eavesdropping!), Michael hurried back into the mine to walk around for a bit. Maybe he could clear his head a bit and pretend like he didn’t hear that. Could he forget that Jeremy admitted his sexuality? No, but he could certainly act like he didn’t know when Jeremy (hopefully, probably) told him. Could he forget that he liked someone who probably wasn’t him? Hell no, but if Jeremy told him that, it would be easier for him to take his time to try to (hopefully, probably not) move on.


	6. Explosive Frustration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK guys, this is a pretty heavy chapter. A lot of angst, but I promise that it'll eventually pay off (next chapter will have more angst, but end nicely, we promise)! This hurt to reread through and beta, so know it doesn't just hurt you guys, augh.  
> Also, thanks for all of your support and comments so far! They mean the world to Mara and I.  
> Speaking of which, our words from Mara (what_in_the):\
> 
> 'This had to come eventually. Doesn’t mean we have to like it. Still, even if it takes some work they get there in the end. Writing Jeremy’s thoughts was interesting though :3  
> Thanks for over 200 hits!'

Jeremy was having that time of his life, studying magic with his friends and his dad. He was doing potions with Christine, healing with Brooke, sigils and spells with Jenna, his dad was teaching him the history of magic, and Michael was helping him learn how to use his soul powers.

  
Jeremy, as always, was a quick study. He greedily took every pieces of knowledge he could, and threw himself into every single lesson until he exhausted himself. Every night, he would curl up with Michael, nightmare free.

  
Speaking of Michael, Jeremy could tell that something was bothering him. He appeared fine when around Jeremy, but Jeremy could _feel_ the underlying emotional torment he was going through, he could see how sad Michael looked when he didn’t know Jeremy was around. Jeremy trusted Michael to tell him eventually, but it was very... frustrating. That was the right word. Jeremy was frustrated because for all the progress Michael was making with his emotions (sharing what he was actually feeling), he was still holding so much back.

  
Repressed emotions made Jeremy a little nauseous.

  
Still. Jeremy tried not to let him bother him too much and instead focused so hard on his lessons, so as not to give himself time fo dwell on it.

 

   
Healing classes with Brooke were always fun. She would show Jeremy around her garden and point out the use for every herb and flower.

  
“Sage is really good for purifying out negative energy, especially white sage, I’ll almost always mix some into my healing salves to make sure to keep out any bad magic that might try to get in,” she explained one day, picking a leaf off one of the plants for Jeremy to inspect.

Looking closely using his soul vision, Jeremy could see the little twists of yellow and green magic around the leaf, as well as a small twist of gold.

  
“Hey Brooke? This has yellow and green magic, like you and Chrissy’s have in your souls, which is healing and plant based magic, right? Well, what does the orangey-gold mean?”

At his sudden question, Brooke pursed her lips in thought as she seemingly tried to recall it. “Um... oh, right! I think it’s purifying and dispelling of evil, at least if I’m remembering correctly,” she trailed off, looking down at the leaf that Jeremy was so intently staring at. “Sometimes I forget that some of these plants have such mixed soul energy stuff, especially since the soul stuff isn’t my field of expertise. I know in people, at least I think, is a bit rare, though a little amount of witch souls are that color. I think that- uh...” Brooke seemed to quickly lock her lips (metaphorically) at her last statement that she didn’t complete.

Jeremy frowned, but didn’t push. If it were important, Brooke would tell him. After all, they had gotten quite close on the whole. Instead, he focused on the first half of her statement.

  
“Yeah, like all of your plants have different colored magic. Like, there is green and yellow on all of them, but that one there also has blue.” He pointed at a random herb, grinning a little. It was a little forced.

Brooke seemed to quickly rebound, following in beat right behind Jeremy as she reached over and plucked a little. “Yeah, I think the blue in it helps the plant out with depression, at least if I’m remembering correctly from what Michael taught me about soul stuff.” After speaking, she seemed to think for a moment before turning back and facing Jeremy, looking as if she settled on something. “I’ve only met one person with an orange soul, honestly, and that was Noel Mell. Michael wouldn’t be bothered by me telling you, and he’ll probably tell you that when he gives you his lesson on the different soul colors later.”

“O-oh...” Jeremy trailed off, now understanding why Brooke seemed so hesitant to tell him. That’s was Michael’s piece to tell. “I mean... that does explain some things.” He shrugged, trying to seem casual.

  
“What do you mean?” Jeremy withered a little under her gaze.

  
“I knew Noel. Inside. And I swear, I used to see like... fire around her. Like she worked in a lab, so it wasn’t unexpected, but I thought I could see the fire around _her_. And I’d always be feeling more after being around her.”

Brooke nodded to that, and seemed as if she was thinking over something before she shifted her gaze to look over her plants. “Yeah, that sounds like her alright.”

  
There was a tense pause for a few moments before Brooke spoke up again. “Anyway, I think that’s a good place to stop for today. What are the key things I taught you today?” she asked, changing the subject as she focused her gaze back onto Jeremy with a small smile.

That night, Jeremy had impressed Michael by brewing up some ginger tea, which helped with the indigestion Michael had gotten at dinner.

 

  
The next day, Jeremy was very excited.

  
“Hey Michael, you wanna join me and Chrissy for my potions lesson? We’re gonna be working on the basic cleansing potion, Like you guys used on me when I first arrived!”

Michael seemed to falter in his stride as they were closing in on their base, but it was so short-lived that Jeremy had to think and reassess himself to decide if he imagined it or not. “Oh, sure, but I won’t be able to stay all day. Jen and I are working on some stuff with your dad with planning stuff.”

Jeremy brightened even more.

 

  
“Great! And if you guys need to know anything more, I’m happy to help.”

  
Chrissy had arched an eyebrow when Michael joined them, but she didn’t protest.

  
“Okay, so now you mix the salt into the potion, and keep stirring. Focus on what you want the potion to do.” Jeremy did as instructed, and the potion started smelling really nice. “That’s great Jeremy! You’re a natural at this! Now keep stirring for five more minutes and we can do the next step.” Jeremy beamed at Christine, but felt a different gaze on him. He turned to see Michael watching Jeremy carefully, looking a little pale.

  
“You... alright Micah?” he questioned gently, still stirring.

Michael just nodded at that point, though seemed to uncomfortably shift where he sat as he watched Jeremy stir. “Yeah, just feeling a bit off this morning,” he reassured, though excused himself under the reason that he needed to meet with Jenna and Jason soon.

  
As Michael hurried out of the room, Christine looked to Jeremy with a look of concern. “Is he feeling alright today?”

Jeremy shrugged, but he didn’t take his eyes off of the door Michael vanished out of.

  
“I... don’t know. He was fine this morning. And he was fine during the walk over...” Jeremy finally looked back at Christine, concern in his eyes. “I’m sure he’s just eager to talk to Jenna and dad. He probably remembered something I told him is all.” Jeremy was sure he didn’t sound convincing, even to his own ears. He wished Michael would tell him what was wrong. The frustration bubbling and growing inside his chest only got worse. He just wanted to help. He focused on his stirring.

 

  
“Magic has been around for as long as humanity has. In the old days, people known as witches would tap into the natural magic of their souls and of nature to shape reality. We are the descendants of those witches.” Jeremy’s dad was pacing at the front of the room while Jeremy watched on, making mental notes of everything. “Of course, I’ve told you all this already. These were your bedtime stories.” His dad grinned over at him

  
“Yeah, I remember most of them. Back then, I didn’t even know what a tree was.” Jeremy giggled a little, shaking his head. “God that feels like so long ago now, even though I only got out, what? Not even a month ago?”

“Almost a month ago,” Jason affirmed, smiling down at Jeremy as he stopped his pacing. “It’s amazing to see how far you’ve come in such a short span of time, son.” The honesty and love in his dad’s tone of voice even made his chest warm up with familial love (he was learning the difference) and pride.

Jeremy grinned up at his dad when suddenly a question care unbidden from his lips.

  
“Umm dad? Is it... weird that I consider everyone here... family, sort of?” His smile faded as quickly as it came, and his head bowed ever so slightly. The thought had been playing around in his head for a while, but Jeremy hadn’t intended to ask that at all. It probably was weird. It’s not like he was related to anyone besides his dad.

  
He looked up when he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder. When he saw his dad giving him such a fond smile, he didn’t know what to do. Thankfully, his dad spoke up in his steed. “No, not really. You can choose who you consider to be your family too, they’re just not your blood-related family. They’re more like your chosen family, if you get what I mean. It’s a huge step in the right direction if you’re able to consider everyone that, especially since I know they feel the same about you, son.”

“R-really?” Jeremy felt all warm inside, it was a really nice feeling.

  
“You bet we do, Jeremy!” Brooke piped up from behind where Jeremy was sitting. He stood up and spun around, his face flaming. Brooke proceeded to wrap Jeremy in a big, warm hug. “You’re as much family as any of us, Jeremy,” she murmured and Jeremy felt himself melt into the hug. He never usually relaxed so much, but he felt warm and safe wrapped in Brooke’s arms. She was family.

 

 

The lesson with Michael wasn’t bad, but Jeremy could feel the lingering undertones of something the other was hiding from him. He didn’t speak up about it though, as he was focused on absorbing what Michael was telling him.

  
“So, a recap: blue is emotion, red is love and passion, green is energy, yellow is healing,” Michael listed off, counting off of his fingers as he went, “Purple is wisdom, pink is creation, orange is purification, and white is life. Are there any other important details you can recall?”

“Everyone has a soul, but only people with Witch Blood can use magic. Every soul type has a natural talent for a specific type of magic, as well as some natural abilities,” Jeremy recited dutifully. He really didn’t like the atmosphere between him and Michael right now, it made him uncomfortable. It also stoked the fires of his frustration. He did his best to quieten them down, there was no reason to be upset. “Hey Micah, what are your soul powers?” Jeremy finally decided to ask, hoping to relax them both. He just wanted his friend back, he was honestly worried.

“They’re tied to love that people can feel, and I can sort of adjust them by elevating them or sort of snuffing them out, but it’s temporary,” Michael explained as he seemed to be messing with his fingers. “I don’t use them too often because I don’t like messing with people’s emotions and stuff. I can’t use it on myself either, only others. I think the only soul type that can affect themselves and others is blue, and maybe white...”

Jeremy pondered this for a moment. Michael obviously picked up on his thoughtful expression.

  
“What you thinking about, Jere?”

  
“Oh, nothing. I just wonder if your powers could be used around the shots? Because love still exists on the Inside. Parents love their kids... most of the time. I wonder if you elevated that if it would break past the shot... kinda like how I was sort of affecting my friends.”

He saw Michael's face seem to soften a bit in thought at that, though the fidgeting with his fingers didn't stop. "I... It depends on how powerful the shot is, I think, and how powerfully it mutes your emotions and feelings. If it's not _too_ powerful, then it could definitely work, I think. I'd have to test that out though." Michael's eyes shifted to look up at Jeremy then. "What made you think of that?"

“Oh, I’ve just been thinking about family and stuff recently. Like, everyone here feels like a real family to me. And I was thinking that my friends on the inside might be the same, if they were able to feel. My mother... not so much.” Jeremy shrugged, trying to look unconcerned by this. He was finally acknowledging that his mother probably didn’t love him in the same way as other mothers loved their children, if at all. He didn’t mention that there were a few adults included in that list of friends as well.

He could _feel_ Michael's tension rising in him, though he couldn't figure out exactly why. Michael quickly walked across the room, sitting down beside Jeremy. "I... Well, hey, look at it this way: we're your family, and once we get out of all of this and stop SQUIP, your friends will finally be able to feel what you're feeling, and we can all become a better family. If your mom doesn't end up being like that, well, then fuck her. My mom can be your mom, and so can my mama when she's back." He could hear some pain in Michael's voice, though it seemed to get better once he finished.

  
Michael took one of his hands in his own, gently squeezing it all the while. "if I can help your friends out, you bet I'm gonna try my damn hardest to. Any people you consider family is family to me too."

Those words meant more to Jeremy than he could say. He really did miss his friends on the inside, despite how... stiff their interactions were. And Michael telling Jeremy that his moms were Jeremy’s... well that was a different matter. After all, in-laws were a thing Inside. Jeremy really couldn’t see a downside to that, except that Michael obviously didn’t feel the same. So instead, Jeremy just grinned, calling out his skills from the Inside to mask his true feelings, and said:

  
“Thanks Micah. That really means a lot. I promise, we’re gonna get your mama out of there, together. Then we’ll all be a big family together.”

Although he didn't know what specifically in what he said made that happen, he could sense Michael's shift in mood from what he said.

 

 

“Okay, Jeremy, so remember what we went over last time?” Jenna asked, passing Jeremy a pencil and paper. Instantly, he drew out the circle with the nine segments as well as the table full of the letters and punctuation. Twisting the sheet back to Jenna, he grinned.

  
“Photo-recognition is a specialty of mine.” Jenna looked impressed.

  
“Well since you’ve got that part down, let’s start on-“ She was cut off by the door flying open and a very pale and panicked looking Michael panting as he half sprinted in, followed by everyone except Jeremy’s dad (he was working on a sensitive potion).

"Michael, what-"

  
"Jenna," Brooke got out before giving her a look that Jeremy couldn't fear nor hope to decipher (it was something they seemed to have made a while ago, before Jeremy came, to explain whatever this was).

  
Jenna shut her mouth right away, eyes wide as Michael started to make his way in and past Jenna and Jeremy to go further into the base, startlingly quiet.

Jeremy instantly stood and went to grab Michael’s hand, as he always did when Michael was upset (unless he was in a anxiety attack, then he just offered). He was more than a little surprised when Michael not only rejected his hand but batted it away.

  
“Micah? Are you alright?” Jeremy questioned, his voice soft.

"I'm fine," was all Michael got out, voice shaking, even though it was so obvious that he _wasn't_. He could feel that frustration about Michael just not admitting how he felt, especially after he promised he would talk to people, just almost reach a breaking point.

  
It was like Brooke could see he reached it, because she reached out to him and gently touched his arm as Michael pushed his hand away. "Jeremy, please-"

That was the breaking point. He yanked his arm away from Brooke, almost like he was burnt.

  
“Please, what Brooke? Please pretend that everything is fine? Please pretend that Michael isn’t hurting? Please pretend that he hasn’t been pulling away and hiding his feelings when he _promised_ he would tell me, tell us?!” Jeremy’s voice was venomous, rising in volume, and he narrowed his eyes at Brooke. She took a step back and he could feel his powers were flaring up. What they were doing, he didn’t know, but he was just so _angry_ , so fed up with pretending and feeling helpless. Dimly, he was aware that this was unfair to everyone, but his emotions didn’t seem to care right about now.

Michael seemed to have a faint look of understanding over the situation while everyone else seemed to be unable to push forward to talk to Jeremy. "Jeremy, I will explain, I just need to... I need to take a breather for a bit, just listen," he got out, though to Jeremy's mind right now, he just heard it as more excuses! Michael had promised he'd be better and talk about how he felt, damnit, but he was just running and hiding them again! Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew this wasn't right, this way of thinking, but his emotions of anger were having irrationality and brashness rule.

“And what about the past two weeks, Michael? You keep running and avoiding the subject! You keep avoiding me! And I can tell you’re hurting, I can feel it. And you keep pushing us all away, when you promised you’d talk!” Jeremy hissed, voice dark. Jeremy could see Michael was getting emotional. ‘ _Good, maybe then he’ll finally talk_.’ Except this wasn’t sadness or understanding, this was anger, bubbling up to match Jeremy’s own.

"I'm hurting, yeah, but it isn't something I can fucking talk about right away! Plus, I've _been_ talking with people, I'm not fucking pushing _anyone_ away! Things can't just fucking get better overnight, Jeremy!" Michael was visibly shaking at this point, and spat out words at him in what seemed to be some sort of self-defense attempt filled with overwhelmed emotions. His voice cracked by the end, and tears were starting to fall down his face before he finally turned tail and ran further into the base, seemingly unable to deal with the situation.

Jeremy was shaking with rage.

  
“You’ve been fucking pushing _me_ away, dickhead!” he screamed after Michael, eyes trained on the door where he disappeared through.

  
“Jeremy...” Chrissy started and she sounded... scared. Scared and so sad, but determined. It still wasn’t enough to get through Jeremy’s fury. He spun around, eyes narrowed once more.

  
“No, Christine. He’s been pushing me away these past two weeks and I’m fucking sick of it! I’ve been trying to help, trying to be a good friend, but he’s not letting me anywhere close! And I can feel how much he’s been hurting. I’ve been shocked, beaten and fucking _tortured_ and it doesn’t even come close to how much hurt Michael has been feeling emotionally. I’m just so done with his bullshit.” Jeremy knew that this was wrong, that this was a bad way to go about dealing with this issue, and now his anger was starting to fade just a bit, he could see just how badly he might have messed up. Still, he was too angry and too proud to back down right now.

Christine seemed to back off after being shouted at, but Brooke took the initiative to step forward, especially after her girlfriend had been yelled at. "Jeremy, I can't say I understand any of that, but Michael might've been trying to get help for something. No one's saying you haven't been a good friend, Michael knows it, but it's not something you could help with right now." Even if she was still clearly scared, her protectiveness over Christine and Michael seemed to power her through enough to speak to him.

  
Jenna, meanwhile, just muttered out something Jeremy couldn't hear before she rushed out the room and, presumably, after Michael.

“You know what? I’m done. I’ll be back at the house if anyone needs me.” With that, Jeremy pushed past the two girls and stalked out of the mine, glad he no longer had to be stuck to Michael’s side. The walk back seemed to last an eternity and no time at all. His brain was buzzing with anger and pain and just plain hurt. He was hurting. And his stomach was twisting and he felt sick. Jeremy already knew this emotion, even on the Inside: Guilt.

  
He made his was up into the house and went to the storage room, where the bed which was supposed to be his was still set up. Stiffly, he sat down and tried to shut off his emotions for a little while, they were more trouble than they were worth.

  
‘ _Come on, Jeremy, you can do it._ ’

**‘You should never have come here**. **’** His own internal voice was being overridden with something that sounded suspiciously like the SQUIP. Jeremy tried to ignore it, even as he felt the words were true. He had hurt Michael even more. His stomach twisted ever more.

  
‘ _Come on! You lived like that for seventeen years. What’s one hour_?’

**‘They all are going to hate you**.’

“Shut up...” Jeremy couldn’t help but speak aloud. The voices in his head were getting too much!

  
‘ **Sit up straight Jeremiah, you don’t deserve comfort.’** Jeremy’s back automatically straightened. ‘ **Good. You don’t deserve to be there, with them. You saw the way they looked at you. You think Michael will ever forgive you?’** Tears started cascading down Jeremy’s face and he was shaking, even as his expression remained neutral.

‘ _They’re my family…_ ’

**‘You’re nothing to them, not after today.’** Jeremy’s heart broke, it was right. There was no way they could forgive him for this.

  
A gentle knock on the door startled the other voice into silence.

"Jeremy?" The voice of Jenna was softer than he'd ever heard it, with concern laced into it as well. "Are you in here?... Can I come in, please?"

Jeremy quickly found his voice, as shaky and broken as it may be.

  
“Yeah, come in Jenna.” He was still sitting ramrod straight, his hands resting lightly on his thighs. Tears were still streaming down his face. His expression was schooled into a neutral stare, like a Controlled. And he was shaking so badly he was surprised he didn’t fall apart. The door opened slowly and Jenna’s faced popped into view. He registered the shock and sadness on her face, but he was feeling so numb and broken inside that he couldn’t even get a sense on her emotions.

She seemed to carefully walk over before sitting beside Jeremy on the unused bed, staring at the wall for a moment as she obviously took in the situation. It took her a moment to even be able to speak, and that was his only way to indicate her concern and worry. "How... Well, you're not feeling great, but how _exactly_ are you feeling right now?" There was a pause before she added, " _Are_ you feeling right now?"

It took Jeremy a moment to answer, trying to fight past the voices telling him exactly how bad he had been.

  
“Yeah...” His voice cracked. “I’m feeling. But it’s numb. And broken. And I feel so fucking guilty, I shouldn’t have yelled. I’m so sorry, Jenna.”

Another pause. Should he tell her? ‘ **Don’t tell her, she’ll hate you** ,’ the voice whispered and Jeremy flinched. Having Jenna sitting so close helped him be louder in his own head, if the SQUIP voice didn’t want him to tell, he was going to tell.

“I’m hearing... echoes. From the SQUIP. Not actually him, just the memory of what he was like. And it’s scary. But... being around someone is helping.” The voice was screaming but Jeremy didn’t care. Jenna knew now, and if she hated him for it, well he’d find a way to deal. He hoped his expression, which had melted from his neutral stare to something more natural, didn’t tip her off on his fears. She was too good at reading people.

If she did read it, she didn't mention it as she tapped her fingers along her thighs. "Well, I'm glad that being around me's helping you out, Jeremy." There was honesty in her voice as she turned, giving him a faint smile. "I didn't know how close you felt to me, so the fact I'm helping means a lot."

  
After saying that, she cleared her throat and looked back down at her feet. "It's alright to feel guilty, though I don't think I'm the one you need to apologize to. Before you do apologize to Michael, though, I need to tell you a few things so you understand." Her eyes glanced over to look right into him, and it felt like she could see his very soul without the use of magic. "So you know, none of this is your fault. I'm telling you what happened today and background information so you understand. When you understand that, you need to know that you were ignorant to this, and that Michael was going to tell you this stuff when he was ready, alright?" Jenna's hand reached over, though hesitated before resting it down beside his.

Jeremy recognized what she was doing, it was his go to method when Michael was panicking. Hesitantly, Jeremy reached for Jenna’s hand and he intertwined their fingers. “Okay,” he whispered, his voice scratchy. “But Jenna, of course you’re helping. You’re _family_ to me, I trust you and honestly love you and everyone else so much, even if we don’t talk that much.” Jeremy took a deep breath, feeling more and more present with each passing moment. “I... understand. I’ll try to keep calm?” Jeremy didn’t quite understand exactly what was going on, but he would try. Somehow, he knew he was going to feel worse by the end of this, but he’d try.

Jenna just seemed relieved then, gently squeezing Jeremy's hand once before starting.

  
"So, backstory: what had Michael start this entire rebellion, as you know, is because he lost his mama. He hasn't told you how he lost her." He felt himself tense up just at that, but he just tried to calm down again because this was just the beginning. "He had been out with her two years ago, close to turning fifteen, and was near the edge of where patrols went to look for certain potion ingredients for a recipe his mama was teaching him. She was trying to call him back before he got caught, but he ended up getting stuck on one of the roots from a tree that was in the process of being pulled up from deforestation efforts. He got himself injured, a twisted ankle at the very least, and caused enough noise for the nearby patrol to notice.

  
"Before he could do anything, his mama rushed over, put a spell of silence on him so he couldn't make any noise himself or in the environment, as well as a cloaking spell, and said her final goodbye before going to meet the patrol. Even if she wasn't his birth mom, she would rather give herself up than have them take Michael." She took a deep breath before continuing. "It took awhile for that all to wear off, and then he had to trudge himself back to the community, where me, Chrissy, and Brooke were out, looking for him while his mom was at home, worrying.

  
"When I saw him come back, I ran over and held him and he just... He was just broken. He blames himself for his mama's capture, and he won't forgive himself until he gets her back. That's why he freaked out when he ended up getting seen by the patrol again when he was taking a walk. Thankfully, he was prepared this time with a spell, though I think his high-strung emotions amplified the blinding spell he cast on them, because he was even more freaked out than I thought he'd be after a run-in with them when we saw him earlier."

  
She finally stopped then, squeezing Jeremy's hand once more. "Please, don't blame anything on yourself, Jeremy," she almost begged, voice soft yet, for once, frail.

Jeremy’s breathing had gotten harder throughout the story, and he fought to keep it under control.

  
“I remember her being brought in. Noel literally passed two feet in front of me, and she smiled directly at me. She was... the opposite of everything we had been told the Outsiders were. She was calm and poised and proud, almost happy. I didn’t understand back then, but I guess it’s because she was protecting Michael... She didn’t care what happened to her so long as he was safe...” Jeremy paused, trying to slow his near hyperventilation. “Even though it wasn’t my fault, Jenna, I still shouldn’t have yelled. I should have kept my... temper in check. I need to apologise.” Jeremy was feeling an icy sort of numb right now, almost disconnected. It was different from earlier, but more welcome. He knew somehow, that he could pull himself out of this one with a little help, it didn’t feel so all consuming. “Is he here? And does he even want to see me right now?” Jeremy was fighting back tears, but he knew he needed to go find Michael and apologise as soon as possible.

Jenna seemed to be watching him this entire time with sympathy in her eyes. "He's here and he does wanna see you. I talked to him earlier after he left, and I had to help calm him down since he was basically trying to suppress a panic attack earlier. He feels bad about yelling too, but he's extremely wiped, physically and emotionally, so I'm telling you about this for him." Another moment of hesitation passed before she, the person who Michael told him took months to let Michael hug her, held her arms open for him.

Jeremy slowly slotted himself into her embrace, wrapping his arms around her loosely. But when Jenna gave him a gentle squeeze, he couldn’t hold himself back. Jeremy tucked himself against her shoulder, holding on for dear life and sobbing, not as heavily as earlier, but with grief and guilt and sorrow. Jenna just held him for a moment, let him calm down in her arms. Jeremy had never been more grateful or felt more love towards her.

  
Eventually, Jeremy got up with a murmured thanks, and headed towards the kitchen. He grabbed two glasses of water and hesitantly made his way back upstairs. He lightly knocked.

  
“Michael? Can I come in?” He knew his voice was rough, but he did his best to keep it light.

Muffled by the door and other things, Jeremy heard a small noise of consent and he slowly went in. Michael was lying down on the bed, wrapped up in Jeremy's blanket. His eyes were unfocused without his glasses and his expression was a heartbreaking combination of sadness and exhaustion.

  
“Hey, I brought some water for the both of us. I figured we both need to keep hydrated after today...” He trailed off, walking over and putting the cups onto the bedside table. Jeremy perched himself on the edge of the bed, not touching Michael. He hadn’t earned that right back yet. “I’m so sorry, Michael. I shouldn’t have yelled. I shouldn’t have pushed you like that. I was just so... _frustrated_ that I couldn’t help you and it all built up. I know that’s not an excuse... I’m sorry.” The words tumbled out of Jeremy’s lips, honest and pleading and sincere.

After a few seconds of silence, he heard Michael ask, "Did Jenna tell you 'bout everything with today? 'N why it made me freak so bad?" His voice sounded so raw and exhausted, and Jeremy looked, facing Michael and seeing his eyes focus a bit more as they now faced each other. He just nodded, then saw Michael reach over for his hand. Scooping the hand that was grabbing for him, which reminded him like a needy child, he intertwined their fingers as he kept his gaze on the lying form of Michael.

  
"I forgive you," was the only thing he said after that before gently tugging him (whether it was because he was purposefully being gentle or was just that exhausted, Jeremy had no clue) to lie down with him, which he only realized after he saw Michael trying to lift up the blanket that Jenna must have wrapped around him.

As soon as he figured out what Michael wanted, Jeremy dove under the covers and immediately wrapped himself around Michael, cradling him close. Normally it was the other way around; Michael was bigger in every sense of the word (taller, broader, stronger), but this felt right for the situation. Jeremy felt that icy numbness slowly melt away, leaving him feeling drained and exhausted.

  
“‘M sorry I called you a dickhead,” Jeremy mumbled into Michael’s hair, which got a weak chuckle in return. They were going to be okay.

  
“We’re gonna be fine, Micah. You’re gonna be fine. S’not your fault and we’re gonna get her back together. You’re gonna be fine.” Jeremy was lightly running his fingers through Michael’s hair, fighting the urge to place a kiss on his forehead. ‘ _Not the time_.’

He could feel Michael shift as he took in a sharp breath (he could figure out now, with his clearer head, that it was him trying to help him realize that it wasn't his fault) before he felt Michael cling to him. His hands dug into his clothes, gripping it tightly at first until he relaxed a bit more when Jeremy rubbed his head. "It's alright, Micah," he reassured softly, and he could feel Michael eventually relax in his arms.

  
As long as Michael was going to be OK, he would be too.


	7. Heartfelt Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, there is some pain in this chapter BUT I SWEAR THERE IS GOOD PAY-OFF. ALSO THANKS FOR 300+ HITS FOLKS!!!! <333 I want you all to get to this quick, plus I'm posting really late today because of classes being crazy and feeling ugh. So, here's our lovely words from Mara (what_in_the):
> 
> 'This chapter was hard write for the first half, but I love it none the less. I much prefer the second half and I hope you do to! Enjoy, and let us know what you think in the comments.'
> 
> ALSO WARNING: mentions of torture (brief shock/beating/belittling) and showing physical scars from torture

After the big, gigantic explosion of emotions, everyone seemed to calm down a bit more. There wasn't tension left lingering, especially once Jeremy formally apologized to the girls (Michael tried better to deal with his emotions and feelings towards Jeremy, especially since Jeremy felt he was pushing him away), and he and Jeremy were closer than before. He had also explained to Jeremy that he wasn't really upset with Jeremy before because he figured that, as a blue soul that was tied so heavily with emotions, that not having access to them for so long, he sort of... exploded after the huge build-up. Jeremy understood this too, and was working with Michael to figure out what the best course of action to deal with his mad gigantic feelings was.

  
There was more life in the mines as they worked (and Jeremy learned, mostly), and Michael was feeling a bit better as he sketched out some details of a plan onto some paper. He was humming a soft tune to himself, looking over the notes Jeremy wrote up for him yesterday about some more details of the Interior, since he couldn't ask him on his totally-not-forced quiet day (he was picking up sewing, and the seamstress that was really fond of him had no issues with supplying him with the information and tools needed to learn).

  
He heard a knock on the door, and he glanced over his shoulder to see Brooke in the doorway. "Oh, hey Brooke! 'Sup.”

“Hey Michael.” Brooke seemed a little less energetic than usual, something was definitely on her mind. She fidgeted a bit as she wandered over to his desk, perching lightly on the edge.

  
“What’s wrong, Brooke? Is everything okay?” She nodded, looking a little conflicted.

  
“I just wanted to ask you something. I would ask Jeremy himself, but I don’t want to have to make him think about... _it_...” Brooke shivered a little, rubbing her wrist awkwardly. Michael just felt confused, she wasn’t making any sense. “Are there any triggers we need to watch out for from his torture? Like, we’ve been lucky so far but I wanna make sure.”

  
Wait, _what_?!

"Brooke," Michael asked slowly, in disbelief (because there was no way he heard her say _that_... right?), "What do you mean by 'his torture?' I just heard you wrong, right?" Her wide eyes told him everything he needed to know, as well as the way her eyes darted around as she tried to cover up what she said with something else.

  
Before he registered it, he was hurrying out, excusing himself because _Jeremy had been tortured_? When did they find out? Was Jeremy really OK?

  
He ignored Brooke calling for him as he hurried out, as well as the other's voiced confusion. Michael just needed to get to Jeremy and talk to him about this, if he was willing, because how did that topic even come up?

The trip home passed in a flash, Michael was too caught up in his head to really register time passing. When had Jeremy been tortured? And why had he never mentioned it before?

  
Before he knew it, Michael was in his house with a grinning Jeremy looking up at him from the sofa, wrapped in his blanket, holding an embroidery hoop.

  
“Hi Micah! I wasn’t expecting you home until after lunch. Check it out! I’ve almost finished this flower!” Apparently Michael’s lack of response tipped Jeremy off that this was not just a fun visit, since he got out of his little blanket nest and walked over to him. “Micah? You alright?” Jeremy didn’t touch him, just hovered close enough to touch if Michael needed it.

Michael managed to collect himself enough to pull him out out of his head, looking at Jeremy as he was sure worry and concern was pouring out of him. "Jeremy... I..." He took a deep breath before looking at Jeremy and taking his hand, though he wasn't sure if it was for himself, Jeremy, or both of them. "When were you... You... What happened to you that..."

  
Jeremy's reassuring squeeze to his hand helped him gather exactly what he wanted to ask as he looked Jeremy right in the eyes. "I need to know what happened with you being tortured." He knew his voice cracked as he asked, but he honestly didn't give a shit at the moment.  
  


Jeremy’s eyes widened and he instantly paled, but he didn’t move to pull away.

  
“I- no one was supposed- it slipped out when I was-“ Jeremy couldn’t seem to even complete a single sentence, and though his eyes were dry, it sounded like he was on the verge of tears. Still, Michael watched silently as Jeremy took a deep breath and composed himself. “I... guess I should tell someone, shouldn’t I?” His tone was sheepish, but it was very clearly forced. Jeremy pulled Michael over to the sofa and sat him down, though he remained standing. He turned to face away, as though ashamed.

  
“I... my curiosity has gotten me into a lot of trouble over the years. And one day, I found something out that they didn’t want me to find.” Jeremy took a deep breath, almost unable to continue.

Michael felt himself instinctually move, getting up as he grabbed the blanket that Jeremy cocooned himself into before and wrapping it around him. He made sure Jeremy was alright with him wrapping him first before doing so, and then lead him to sit on the couch, running his fingers through his hair as he sat next to him. "If that's all you want to tell me, I'm OK with that," Michael assured him, his voice and tone soft and soothing as he could have it be right now.

Jeremy shook his head, still pale but looking determined.

  
“I need to move past this. I _need_ to.” Michael resisted the urge to explain that telling someone once doesn’t fix things. If Jeremy needed this, he would be here for him. Jeremy took a deep breath, eyes slightly unfocused, before he continued.

  
“I accidentally found these old documents relating to the SQUIP, how to summon him and how to bind him to a location, that’s why I was so sure I could get him for you. The thing is, the SQUIP instantly knew that I had them and he sent some people after me.” Jeremy pulled the blanket a little tighter around himself. “The law enforcement came to my door. It was only a few days since dad disappeared, so I didn’t think anything of it, but as soon as I said hello, I was knocked out. When I woke up, I was sitting in a room, all alone... tied to a chair.” Michael thought back to when he and Jeremy had first met, how terrified Jeremy had been when he woke up and how he was so certain that they were going to hurt him. He felt a shiver of revulsion at the thought now. “They... beat me to start with. Just them. And they burnt me too. Kept telling me how bad I had been. How I was worse than my father because I was directly going against the SQUIP. I didn’t mean to, though. I didn’t...” Jeremy broke off for a minute, tears evident in his voice but not in his eyes.

The anger and hatred Michael felt towards the SQUIP instantly intensified, and he was definitely going to put this energy towards working on stopping him with their plans. For now, though, he needed to focus on Jeremy, so that's what he did. His hand rubbed soothing circles in his back before his hand moved to his hair, gently scratching at his scalp (the best way, he learned, to help Jeremy) as he tried to silently show he was there, that he was fine now.

Jeremy actually flinched a little at the hand on his back, but he relaxed a little when it moved to his hair. He took a couple of shuddering breaths and leant into the touch before continuing.

  
“Then, on the second day, he came. The SQUIP came and talked to me. He told me that it was for my own good, that I was too curious. That I needed to be better if I wanted to have a proper chance at being a Brain. And he told me that if I was good, if I did what they said, it would stop. He... he shocked me between the beatings after that. Two more days I was shocked and broken and beaten and told how terrible I was. Finally, I was begging for the shot. I wanted to be good. I wanted it to stop. So I begged for the shot and the SQUIP told me that I was good because of it. It had been modified, to suppress my curiosity and up my obedience.” Jeremy sounded so _broken_ and small and it took everything Michael had to not just stop him there and look after him. But Jeremy said he needed this.

“I was good after that, according to them. I beat the other candidates to be a Brain, I started working like a productive member of society. I even created this stupid fucking drug to use on people who were like me, the ones they need to break. It gives you hallucinations of your worst fears, even when you sleep. And I made it even though I knew it was wrong because they told me it was good so I fucking did it without a second thought. And then Noel suggested I didn’t take the shot for that month to get the gift and suddenly all my old curiosity came back. It wasn’t enough to keep it suppressed or to keep me so obedient. So I went out to see what my dad had told me about, a whole year after I had intended to go... and then guys found me.” Jeremy finished. He still wasn’t crying, though it didn’t seem to be from lack of trying, more that he couldn’t cry yet. “I... I still have the scars from it. ‘S why I always leave the room to change.”  
  


He was speechless as he looked at Jeremy, though that didn't stop him from continuing with his fingers in his hair. "Well... I'm really glad that you're not there anymore, and that we found you. I understand why you leave, that's fine, though I'm not gonna judge you or be disgusted from your scars," Michael reassured, not really sure on what else to say. He only knew how to physically react in terms of comfort, so he hoped that his words and tactile tactics were helping.

Jeremy looked extremely conflicted for a minute, then sighed.

  
“I... I trust you Micah. I haven’t even looked at them since I got them, I was too focused on being good. Do... do you want to see them? I should probably get them checked over anyway. They’re not sore or sensitive or anything anymore, but still...” Jeremy looked up at Michael, and the trust and security he felt was there in those blue eyes, fighting back against the fear.

"If you want me to see them, I gladly will see them," Michael said, voice soft and comforting as he tried to convey how much his trust for him meant.

“I- I do want you to. I don’t trust anyone else as much as you.” Jeremy stood up, untangling himself from the blanket. He threw off his favourite cardigan into the couch and grabbed the hem of his shirt. Michael heard his quiet mumbles of, “I trust Michael,” as he slipped it off, holding his arms out wide for inspection.

  
Jeremy’s chest was a mess raised lines and burns. The lines were too thick to be from a knife but too neat to be from a gouge. ‘ _They whipped him…,’_ Michael realised as he looked over Jeremy’s torso. Slowly, Jeremy spun around and showed off his back. It was even worse. There was hardly a clear pieces of skin, every inch covered in burns and whip marks and the unmistakable electrical scars. Michael felt his heart break. They had done all this in only three days?

He slowly stood up then, making his presence audibly known as he walked over to him. "I'm right here," he told him as he walked to stand behind him, "I'm going to touch your marks, is that alright?" If Jeremy had even hesitated in nodding, Michael wouldn't have done a thing, so he was relieved when he saw such an instant response.

  
He gently started touching the marks, his fingers brushing as light as a feather. Michael did this for a bit, knowing how intimate all of this was, and he didn't dare speak to break the moment.

  
After what felt like ages, Michael reached around, audibly telegraphing his movements to Jeremy before he wrapped Jeremy in a tender hold, his head against Jeremy's neck. "You're OK, you're alright, you're safe," he murmured out, soft and gentle, and continued to mutter out words of reassurance as he felt Jeremy shift in his arms, turning around and clinging to him as he softly cried (which he definitely needed to do). His hand gently brushed along his back, rubbing those gentle circles into his back again as he was careful of the more sensitive places where he had been shocked.

They stood there for what seemed like hours but was probably only a few minute, Michael holding Jeremy and Jeremy sobbing into his chest. Like every moment, it eventually ended. Jeremy stopped sobbing and extracted himself from Michael’s arms just long enough to put his clothes back on. When he turned back to Michael, he knew exactly what Jeremy was after.

  
“Couch?” he asked and Jeremy nodded. They wrapped up together on the couch, tucked in Jeremy’s blanket, and Michael started rubbing Jeremy’s scalp again, knowing he needed the affection right now. They stayed like that for a while, the moment peaceful and calm and intimate as Michael just held Jeremy.

Eventually, probably an hour or so later, Jeremy spoke up. “Hey, Micah? What does love feel like? Romantic love I mean...”

Michael felt his cheeks begin to warm at that, and he was glad that Jeremy couldn't see his face right then and there. He took a deep breath in, holding it for a moment before letting it out to try to collect himself and his thoughts. "Well... I'd say it's different for every person, really, but for me, um…

  
"Well, it's like having a best friend that you care for more than anyone else. You always want to spend time with them, though you don't want to keep them confined and limit them by having them all to yourself. You want everyone else to see what you love and adore about them, what makes them so special, what you adore about them. You want to pamper them and give them everything good, because that's what they deserve, and you cherish every little new thing you learn about them.

  
"They make you a better person, but not because they force you to. You just _want_ to become better because of them. You want to be able to bring them joy, and to help them see what you see about them so they understand how amazing, beautiful, stunning they are. Words can't describe how much you love and care about them..."

  
Michael felt himself become a bit breathless as he was, unknowingly to Jeremy, bearing his soul and feelings about him _to_ him. He glanced away, now noticing that Jeremy was staring, his darker skin tone not helping with how warm and red he knew his cheeks were. "Y-yeah, that's a basic summary of romantic love to me..."

All of a sudden, Jeremy was up on his knees, right in front of Michael’s face. He looked breathless and flushed and so beautiful. Michael never wanted to kiss him more. Jeremy blinked, the moment slow, dazed almost.

  
“Micah. I feel that,” he murmured, and suddenly there were a pair of soft lips on his own. They didn’t move, they weren’t pressing too firmly, but by god if it didn’t make Michael’s heart race. The kiss was quick, and Jeremy quickly pulled away, eyes bright and happy. Michael was in a state of shock.

  
“Jere, why did you do that?” he asked carefully. Jeremy blinked owlishly.

  
“Because you wanted me to. I could feel it.”

Michael felt his heart race, but not for the same reason as a few moments ago. ' _Because I wanted him to... Fuck, did I... Fuck!_ ' He felt himself starting to shake, turning away from Jeremy before he buried his face into his hands. "Fuck, Jere, 'm so sorry, I hate using my powers and I did it unknowingly, _fuck_! I'm-"

Jeremy grabbed Michael’s hands and pulled them away from his face, using his free hand to tilt his chin up.

  
“Hey hey hey, no you didn’t. I worded that poorly, I’m sorry. I’m still a little dazed.” Jeremy was smiling and it was soft and sweet and it was a little dazed still, but his eyes were clear and bright and they captured Michael before he could pull away. “I meant because you wanted me as well. Because you felt the same way. Micah, I’ve wanted to do that for ages.”

Michael, understandably, was in disbelief when he heard this. It took him a few seconds to be able to get a proper response to Jeremy. "I... _Whuh_?"

Jeremy giggled at this, fucking _giggled_ , and he leant closer to Michael.

  
“Let me make this clearer, then.” Jeremy pressed a quick kiss to Michael’s left cheek. “I.” Another to his right cheek. “Love.” One on the end of his nose. “You.” And finally a quick kiss to his lips, before Jeremy pulled away, giggling and blushing and looking more than a little flustered. “I can’t believe I’m actually saying this _out loud_.” It was more to himself than to Michael, but it was almost in awe of what was happening.

Michael was shell-shocked, and just was taking it all in as best he could. Once his mind finally processed it all, he just started to let out a warm, goofy laugh before he wrapped his arms around Jeremy, pulling him a bit closer. "I can't believe I just _heard_ that, let alone that this is actually happening." He blinked for a moment. "This _is_ actually happening, right? I didn't fall asleep while I was with you on the couch, right?"

“We’re still on the couch, doofus! And if you did then so did I because I have been dreaming about this for so long.” Jeremy giggled again, he sounded almost tipsy just from his tone of voice, and leant into Michael’s hug. Gently, he started pressing small kisses to whatever skin he could reach, each touch light and positively _burning_ on Michael’s skin.

Any playful rebuttals Michael had died in his throat, and he just let out a small whine instead at all of the sudden affection Jeremy seemed to be pouring onto him. He wanted to (and did) hide his face into Jeremy's neck, burrowed deep there as he tried not to whine too much about the affection he had been dreaming about.

Jeremy shuddered a little, then sighed happily.

  
“It actually feels really nice, you being there.” Michael could almost feel Jeremy’s voice in his throat, and it only caused him to squirm a little. Jeremy didn’t stop kissing him as much as he could reach, and his hands began roaming over Michael’s back and sides, just gentle touches filled with affection.

"You're such a sap," Michael muttered out against his skin, trying to keep himself from being so flustered by spouting out whatever came to mind. Normally, he was the one who was the touchy one as such a tactile person, so he wasn't used to this, especially from the person who liked him back (which was insane to think about and know that it's true).

“Mmm, but I’m _your_ sap,” Jeremy hummed happily, then paused. “Wait, I never did ask if this was okay, did I? Oh I’m sorry Michael, I should have asked!” He wasn’t sounding panicked, per say, but he was a lot less relaxed than he was before.

Michael pulled his face back from Jeremy's neck, unable to help the grin that was spreading across his face. "It's fine, you're fine, and we're fine. You are my sap as long as you're alright with me being your boyfriend?" ' _Damn Michael, being smooth for once in your life_!'

Jeremy instantly melted, a dopey grin spreading on his face.

  
“Of _course_ , Micah. I would love to be your boyfriend.” Jeremy snuggled down again, pressing kisses all over Michael again. “Hmm, dad was right. I should have just gone for it in the first place. This feels amazing,” he mused quietly.

Replaying back when he heard Mr. Heere tell Jeremy that in the first place, Michael kept his embarrassment to himself as he buried his face back into Jeremy's neck. ' _I played myself by being jealous of myself..._ ' He ignored that, though, in favor of enjoying this moment with _his boyfriend_! "This _is_ amazing."

Jeremy hummed in agreement, too preoccupied with his kisses. He was kissing every inch of skin he could get to, each touch light and loving. It felt so intimate and Michael couldn’t help but melt into each and every one. He had never been on the receiving end of so much affection before and his brain didn’t exactly know how to deal with it. Then, between each kiss, Jeremy started murmuring compliments into Michael’s skin. “You’re beautiful.” Kiss. “You’re amazing.” Kiss. “You’re my favourite person.” Kiss. “I feel so safe with you.” Kiss.

OK, affection was one thing, but complimenting him in tandem _with_ the affection? Michael could barely function, only letting out soft sounds of his flustered state of mind and whine since it was just a little bit overwhelming since he didn't know what to do when receiving so much love, even if he was learning to adore receiving all of this.

Jeremy must have picked up on his state, because he backed off a bit, giggling. He leant down so his lips were right by Michael’s ear.

  
“You’d better get used to this, Micah. I have a lot of nice things to say about you,” he whispered, playing with Michael’s hair.

Glancing up at him, Michael did his best to glare while relaxing into Jeremy's touch (spoiler alert: it wasn't a good glare whatsoever). "Mm... Fine, but you better get used to me loving the ever living shit outta you when we're out 'n about, because I _do_ want people to know how amazing y'are."

“M’kay, that sounds great. I want people to know I’m _yours_ after all.” Jeremy met his challenge, knowing just how to get to Michael. ‘ _How does he always know?!_ ’ Still, he counted the bright blush and the flustered expression as a win. He’d get Jeremy back soon enough.

"Good, so people know to stay away from the best person and that he's taken by me," Michael challenged back, though he knew he hadn't won this.

Jeremy almost spluttered, but he quickly recovered, blushing madly but grinning.

  
“You can’t take yourself, Micah. That’s my job.” Damnit, Jeremy was too confident in private. Michael knew he couldn’t win, not against this onslaught of affection. In fact, Jeremy was releasing little waves of it, pulsing through the air like invisible ripples.

Unable to think of a good recovery or rebound from that, Michael just resorted to hiding his face in Jeremy's shoulder, pouting all the while and as he let himself take all of the affection. "Stop being so good at this," he muttered out with no spite or bite.

“Can’t so long as I love you,” Jeremy cooed, nuzzling into Michael’s hair. Everything just felt so relaxing and so perfect and Michael felt just so happy. Wrapped up in each other, the two slowly dozed off, waking only when his mom arrived home to cook dinner.

  
“I should have known better than to bet against Jenna,” was all she said when she spotted them on the couch. Michael sputtered and Jeremy just laughed. Things were just... perfect.


	8. Soul Bonded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, here is our next chapter! Thank you all so much for your consistent support! Things will pick up soon, especially once we hit Chapter 10 I'd say. I'm also very out of it at the moment, so sorry for not having much to say! Please enjoy the chapter though!!!  
> Our wise words from Mara (what_in_the):
> 
> 'I can not believe how popular this story has become. Thank you so much! In this chapter we get a little more insight to the nature of souls as well as a big heaping of fluff. I swear these two will kill me with sweetness one day. <3 happy reading!'

When Jeremy’s eyes fluttered open the next morning, he waited for the rush of guilt to overcome him. It didn’t come. Because Jeremy had kissed Michael the day before and Michael had asked him if they could be together. Like _together_ together. Jeremy giggled sleepily, watching Michael sleep. His face was relaxed but there was the smallest hint of a smile present. His skin practically shone and Jeremy didn’t even need his powers to sense the contentment rolling off of him. Michael needed to get up soon. But instead of grabbing his shoulder or anything, Jeremy just leant in close and started peppering his face with kisses. God, it felt so good to be able to do that.

At that, he started to get a reaction out of Michael. He scrunched up his face, though instead of grumbling in annoyance of having to wake up, he just hummed and turned to burrow the side of his face into his pillow. "Mm..." One eye opened and Michael's hint of a smile grew into a wide one. "Mm, g'mornin'."

Jeremy pressed another kiss just to Michael’s hairline, lingering for a moment. When he pulled away, he smiled down at Michael.

  
“Good morning to you, beautiful.” He didn’t know why he called Michael that (although it was very true) it just felt right. The blush that rose on Michael’s cheeks made the idea even better. ‘ _I wonder if other cute nicknames will effect him like that too_?’ Jeremy mused.

"It's too early f'this, Jere," Michael almost whined out, turning to bury his whole face into his pillow. "I just woke up and y'caught me while I'm still so sleepy, it's not fair."

“But you are! So beautiful,” Jeremy cooed, leaning down and resting his cheek on the back of Michael’s head. He nuzzled there affectionately before huffing and leaning up on his forearms. “You’re too cute when you’re all blushy, let me have my fun.” The cheeky smirk ruined the slightly pouty tone, but Jeremy couldn’t bring himself to care. He was just too damned happy right now.

After he moved off of him, Michael poked his head up and glanced over at Jeremy. He just grumbled something, though Jeremy knew it wasn't anything bad, before he sat up, stretching his arms above his head before going to grab his glasses. "Well, fun's over 'cause I'm hungry."

Jeremy couldn’t help but enjoy the view as Michael stretched, the boy was surprising strong and well built under his usually oversized clothes.

  
“Not complaining here.” Jeremy made sure Michael could tell he was being looked over; blushy Michael was really too cute considering how confident he was usually. Plus, his boyfriend was just _really_ pretty. Boyfriend. That was a pretty awesome word. Jeremy was grinning brightly by the time Michael had climbed out of bed.

It seemed to take Michael a few seconds to notice what he was referring to, and he quickly turned away as he tugged down his shirt, which Jeremy couldn't help but laugh at. "Oh shush," Michael muttered out before he walked out. "I'll call you when breakfast's ready."

Jeremy debated staying in bed, and for a few minutes he did (on Michael’s side, loving being surrounded by Michael’s scent), but then he got bored. Jeremy wanted to spend as much time as possible with Michael, he wanted to be close to him, especially now, so he decided to join him in the kitchen. When Jeremy entered, he saw Michael working away at the stove. He made sure to make some noise as he approached from behind and wrapped his arms around Michael’s waist. “Just ignore me..” Jeremy mumbled, pressing himself snuggly into Michael’s back with a happy sigh.

He could hear Michael's noise of surprise (was... it a _squeak_?) as he snuggled close, as well as feel him jolt for a second, but Jeremy laughed it off as Michael relaxed soon after. "How am I supposed to _ignore you when you're snuggling into me from behind_? It's impossible, I tell you."

  
Despite that, Michael seemed to continue cooking, eventually finishing up two plates of a full English breakfast (that's what Michael told him it was called). "A big breakfast to celebrate a big moment," was his explanation with a smitten smile.

“Mmmm.” Jeremy hummed and pressed a kiss to the back of Michael’s neck before scooting around to grab his food and taking it over to the table.

  
“Thanks for breakfast, sweetheart.” Jeremy held back a giggle when he saw Michael trip on his own feet a little, blushing once again.

"You can't just- I'm- you-" Michael struggled to get out a complete thought as he scurried his way to the table, his face close to being as red as his signature hoodie. "Ugh, you're _killing_ me here, Jere."

“Do you actually want me to stop?” Jeremy’s tone was cheeky, and he arched an eyebrow, but he was serious about the question. If Michael was actually feeling uncomfortable, he would stop in a heartbeat. However, if Michael was alright with it all, all bets were off. He took a bite into one of the sausages, groaning a little at how nice it tasted. “You’re cooking is still my favorite, Micah, I swear you put something weird in it to keep me hooked.”

"I'm not putting anything in it, and... no, I don't," Michael admitted, his voice getting softer and quieter as he got closer to the end of his sentence as he looked down at his plate of food. "It's... different, but a good kinda different."

Jeremy grinned and leaned over to Michael, pressing a small kiss to his forehead.

  
“Good, because I really love telling you and showing you how much I appreciate and love you.” Jeremy pulled back, sat down properly to eat. As he was eating, however, he hooked his ankle around Michael’s, keeping a point of contact between them. For the most part, breakfast was silent, save from occasional moan from Jeremy (he couldn’t help it, food was still so good!). Eventually, they both finished and went to wash up. Jere took his usual place, drying the dishes once they were clean.

  
“You know, I was right here when I realized I loved you? It was that day I saw your soul, I already knew I was crushing on you, but when I saw your soul I just knew it was love,” he started casually, even if the confession was actually a big deal to Jeremy.

He saw Michael look over at him, and instead of that flustered look for once, he held one of adoration. "I think I realized it was more than a crush for me after you helped me that first night you were here. It was faint, and I kept just telling myself it was a crush, but I knew it was more than that. You were just so kind and helpful to me, and you really just wanted to see me get better. I'm... I'm really glad you feel the same way about me that I feel about you."

Jeremy’s heart swelled, and he couldn’t resist leaning over and pressing a slow kiss to Michael’s lips, humming happily when it was returned with just as much intensity.

  
“I love you.” He smiled, feeling all soft and happy. He nuzzled Michael’s cheek a little, and pressed a small kiss there before getting back into position.

Michael seemingly couldn't help but smile in return with rosy cheeks before he started to finish washing the dishes. "Well, you definitely are a blue soul." Jeremy's glance and raise of an eyebrow seemed to prompt him to elaborate. "You seem to definitely go along with your emotions a lot more, and it definitely is influencing your actions, not that it's a bad thing."

Jeremy chuckled a little.

  
“Well now I know I don’t have to, I don’t _want_ to control myself around you. I wanna give you all the love I possibly can, because you’re amazing.” Jeremy scooted behind Michael again, pressing a kiss to the base of his neck. “I wanna pamper you.” Kiss a little higher. “Take care of you.” A string of kisses along his jawline. “Just love you completely.” Another kiss to his lips. Jeremy slid back over to his spot, drying the dishes as if nothing had happened, keeping an eye on Michael.

Again, he seemed to have rendered Michael near-speechless as he washed the last of the dishes before hurrying to put the dried dishes away. "Well, 'm glad," he said in passing as he grabbed their cups to put away, though quickly hip-checked him as he passed to scurry to the cabinets.

Jeremy chuckled at Michael’s behavior. It was rare, basically unheard of, for Michael to be so... shy. And Jeremy was loving every second of it, which is why he wrapped himself tightly around Michael as soon as all the dishes were away.

  
“Micah! Let’s go back to bed for a bit, I wanna cuddle some more and my blanket is there.” He pressed some more kisses to Michael’s jawline, already figuring it was a weak spot for Michael. He seemed to be a sucker for the less direct kisses (although he loved them too).

Michael seemed to lean into the kisses there, humming happily before seeming to take a bit more charge. He wrapped his arms around Jeremy, wiggling his eyebrows in a teasing fashion. "Oh, you wanna go back to bed for a bit, _hmm_? Jeremy, you horny boy."

“‘Course I wanna go back to bed, it’s comfy for cuddles and my blanket is the cuddle blanket. And what even is horny? Like, now you’re just making up words to tease me, I swear.” Jeremy pouted but still leaned into to Michael’s arms, snuggling in close. “You’re always so warm...”

"Wait wait wait, hold on a second, you're telling me that the SQUIP even kept the idea of horniness away from everyone?" Michael asked, seemingly stuck on this weird word.

“Wait, so it’s a thing? What thing?” Jeremy was just curious now. Michael seemed so shocked and Jeremy was determined to find out why.

  
“Well... it’s sort of to with wanting to have sex, but not doing it for whatever reason.” Michael seemed to be struggling a little, looking a bit uncomfortable. Jeremy wanted this conversation done just so he would stop looking like that.

  
“Oh, like a build up of arousal? Yeah, I don’t get that. The idea of sex is just...” Jeremy shuddered slightly in Michael’s arms. It was just gross, and totally unappealing. Jeremy just wanted someone to cuddle with, kiss with and all that stuff. He wanted to do that with Michael. “The idea exists, the word doesn’t on the Inside.”

"Yeah, I agree with you there. And the _idea_ exists? What, does the SQUIP even control people's sex lives?" Michael asked with a raised brow, as if he hadn't even thought of that before (though, if he didn't seem to enjoy the idea of sex, why would he?).

“Well, yeah. People only have sex to have kids. You have no idea how relieved I was to be chosen as a Brain, because it meant I’d never have to get a partner and get her pregnant.” Jeremy shuddered again. Then he looked up at Michael, making sure his eyes were wide and innocent (he had learnt how to use his ‘puppy dog eyes’ on anyone now). “Can we go cuddle now, Micah? I wanna cuddle before we gotta go!”

His new trick seemed to distract Michael momentarily from the heavy information he just dumped onto him. "Jere... Ah, fine, as long as it's not for _too_ long. We need to get back to the base to get work done, as well as tell everyone the good news."

“Yay!” Jeremy cheered and pressed a quick kiss to Michael’s lips before dragging them both to the bedroom, ready for some quality snuggles.  
  


 

After their quality snuggling time and being able to smother Michael in loving compliments, Jeremy finally was forced out of the house, hand-in-hand with Michael. As they walked along to the base, Michael swung their arms between them, and he sometimes brought their swinging hands to his lips so he could pepper Jeremy's hand and knuckles with kisses. It really seemed that, as soon as they weren't in private, that Michael turned back to his passionate, lovable self, and he seemed to happily be taking advantage of Jeremy's public shyness.

Of course, that meant that every time Michael kissed his hand, Jeremy would light up in a blush. He was always grinning, but his face was more often than not, red. And it seemed that Michael was timing it to keep Jeremy just the right shade of red. Jeremy internally grumbled at that, but he couldn’t really complain. He had been doing the same since he and Michael had confessed.

  
“Before we go to the base, need to return the embroidery hoop to Mrs. Doherty. She needs it for her next project.” Jeremy held up the wooden frame, looping it back over his free shoulder. “Plus, I’m pretty sure she’ll want to know about us, she’s been asking me if we were together for ages.”

"Oh, she has?" Michael asked with a raised brow as he hurried along the walkways with Jeremy. "Well, I'm sure she'll be thrilled to know." As he finished, he pressed another kiss to his knuckles, grinning at the blush that grew back to what he seemed to deem this perfect shade. "If your blush and the PDA doesn't tip her off first, of course."

“Micah!” Jeremy grumbled. Then he took a small step closer Michael, stopping them both of a second and just hugging him. “I do want everyone to know that we’re together. I’m so proud to be you boyfriend.” Jeremy pressed a small, shy kiss to Michael’s cheek. After that, it didn’t take long for the two to reach the seamstress. Jeremy strode in like owned the place.

  
“Mrs. Doherty! I have you hoop, where are you?”Jeremy called, and got a reply from somewhere beyond some mannequins.

"You can just set it down on the counter near you, dear! How was it?" she asked from wherever she happened to be from further into the store. Michael, meanwhile, sat back down now and watched Jeremy as he interacted with the older owner.

“It went really well! I almost finished the flower and I actually had a load of fun!” Jeremy really did like sewing. Maybe he put together something for Michael once he got better at it. He pulled Michael deeper into the store, finding Mrs. Doherty bent over a yellow dress, sewing up a tear along the seam. “And, erm. Mrs. Doherty? “ Jeremy voice was a little shyer now, but he still sounded pretty excited. And he was, he loved the fact that Michael was his boyfriend. Mrs. Doherty looked up from her work, spotted both his blush and their linked hands and broke out smiling.

“Oh, so it finally happened?” Jeremy, too flustered at her boldness, just nodded as the blush on his cheeks grew darker. “I’m so happy for you two, oh my goodness. I need to make something for the both of you to celebrate- Oh, don’t look at me like that, Jeremy.”

  
Michael, meanwhile, seemed to be letting himself laugh freely at all of this, which wasn’t helping. “I told you she’d figure it out without you needing to tell her.” He gently tugged Jeremy closer, planting a kiss onto his cheek before he turned to the older woman. “Thank you so much, Mrs. Doherty. If there’s any way I can repay you-“

  
“Nonsense, Michael, there’s no need! This is something I want to do, and it’ll be a fun thing for me to do. I’ll let you two know when your little surprise is ready, OK?”

“Thank you Mrs. Doherty…,” Jeremy mumbled, hiding his face in Michael’s shoulder. He really loved Mrs. Doherty, she had taken an almost grandmotherly role in his life, but she did tend to fuss and loved to spoil him just a little. It always made him flustered. She cooed after both him and Michael as they left the shop and started out towards the base. Even though they weren’t in pubic so much, Michael remained flirty and confident, while Jeremy stayed flustered. He didn’t mind really, it gave him an excuse to cuddle closer to Michael.

By the time they reached the base, Jeremy wasn’t sure if he could recover from how flustered he was (in a good way, of course). He was sure his face would be a permanent shade of red, though he wouldn’t mind with how it matched Michael’s color. “Hey, you’re gonna make it so obvious if your face stays like that when we go in,” Michael teased from outside the base, bringing Jeremy’s hand that was still intertwined with Michael’s to his lips, a tender kiss placed to the back of his hand.

Jeremy’s face flushed a little deeper, and he scowled lightly.

  
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to hide it if you keep doing _that_ ,” he hissed, but there was no venom behind his words. After a moment, Jeremy felt a rush of bravery. He smirked and pulled Michael down, pressing a lingering kiss on his lips and trailing them along his jaw and down his neck. The resulting flush made Michael as red as he was. “There, now we match.” And with that, he pulled Michael into the base, giving him no time to recover.

He could hear the mutterings of Michael as he tugged him in, and it only made him smile with pride as they ran into Brooke, who was walking with some papers in her hand.

  
“Oh, hey guys, we were wondering when you two-...” Her eyes seemed to look between them and their interlocked hands for a minute before she punched her hand into the air, almost dropping her papers. “Shit- you guys finally- oh god- JENNA, COME OUT HERE!”

“What? What’s wrong Broo-“ Jenna ran out from one of the side rooms, looking worried until her eyes landed on the boys. “Oh. Who acted first?” Jeremy, who had been expecting the question, grinned.

  
“I kissed him, he asked me out.” Being around only his friends was giving Jeremy much more confidence. Maybe not as much as at home, but way more than he had around town. “Also, hi guys.”

  
“Hi. Michael’s mom owes me twenty bucks, so thanks for that.”

“Ugh, of course you two bet on my love life,” Michael grumbled out with no bite, “I can’t tell either of you two anything, can I?”

  
“You definitely can’t,” Brooke answered while Jenna nodded along in agreement. “Anyway, you two are cute, and Jerry’s dad already gave you his blessing, so yay!” She gave the new couple two thumbs up before quickly handing off Jenna the papers she was holding. “Also, the stuff you asked for!”

Jenna took the papers and quickly ran off, leaving Brooke and the boys still in the corridor. Before she could leave, Jeremy reached out and took her hand.

  
“You’re the one who told him... aren’t you?” Jeremy knew she would understand what he meant, she was his next closest friend after Michael. Evidently, she did because her eyes widened and she nodded slowly.

  
“I... just didn’t want to... accidentally upset you... with memories and all that. I thought if anyone knew, Michael would.” She looked a little ashamed. Jeremy took a shaky breath and offered her a weak smile.

  
“Thanks for looking out for me, it means a lot. I hadn’t planned on telling anyone unless I got triggered, but I’m glad I’ve spoken to Michael about it now.” Another deep breath, this one a little more controlled. “Metal that’s so hot it glows, electric shocks, whips, telling me I’ve been ‘bad’, specifically using that phrasing, and... being tied down. Especially to a chair.” Jeremy could see the horror in Brooke’s eyes, and a layer of understanding. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and hugged her quickly, before retreating back over to Michael and hiding in his shoulder to calm down a little.

  
“I’ll make sure everyone else knows to avoid those, don’t worry Jeremy.” Brooke nodded seriously and walked off, determination in her stride. Jeremy sighed and stayed close to Michael, just taking a minute to breathe.

Michael rested his head on top of his then, rubbing circles into the back of Jeremy's hand with his thumb. "Thank you for telling us all of that, that takes a lot to do," the taller of the pair mused out before he felt lips pressed against his head.

Jeremy sighed lightly, just basking in how safe he felt wrapped in Michael’s arms. That was why he could talk about it, think about it, because he _knew_ Michael would look after him. That he would never have to go back there and suffer the same thing again so long as Michael was around.

  
“S’cause you’re here. I feel safe ‘round you,” Jeremy mumbled into the red plush of Michael’s hoodie. He looked up, pressing a gentle kiss to Michael’s cheek and smiling. “I know that as long as you’re around, you’ll make sure I’ll never go back. And I don’t have to worry about anyone hurting me ever again.” He knew his words were sappy, and his eyes were probably brimming with love and trust, but Jeremy couldn’t bring himself to care. Michael deserved to know just how much Jeremy trusted him.

He saw Michael's goofy, lopsided grin beam back down at him before he got a quick flurry of kisses pressed against his face. "You're damn right about that," the other got out before pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. "I'll be your knight in dull armor, because if it's shiny, that means they didn't do shit to fight back or worked hard, or even at all, to protect-"

  
Jeremy quickly leaned up, pressing a kiss to Michael's lips because, while he loved hearing him ramble and info-dump about whatever, he loved the shy look Michael held (hey, he only just recently got to start doing this, sue him) after he kissed him in the middle of his passionate talks. "-'n stuff... yeah..."

Jeremy giggled at how shy and dazed Michael looked right then, loving that he was the one who caused it. He pressed another quick kiss to Michael’s lips, and smiled.

  
“C’mon, it’s your lesson today. We’re working with my soul powers today, right?” Jeremy started pulling Michael toward the practice room, giggling at how he still looked dazed.

Michael blinked himself out of this daze Jeremy seemingly put him into before quickly nodding. "Yeah, we are," he affirmed as he walked with him there.

  
Once they made it into the practice room, Michael seemed to get more serious as he started talking through Jeremy getting in touch with his emotions and trying to get a handle on controlling them instead of letting his emotions control him. After Jeremy seemed to get the hang of that, Michael suggested that he try to view their souls and explain again how they worked. "Touching up on the basics is always good before you try new things," Michael explained as he sat down on one of the stools in the room.

Jeremy nodded and let his vision slip into soul level. Except things were different than normal. Instead of Michael’s soul just being that gorgeous shade of red, there were twists of blue, deep blue, intermingled in. Jeremy just about fell off his chair with a small yelp. Souls didn’t change, not so drastically.

  
“M-Micah?” Jeremy couldn’t take his eyes off Michael, off his soul. His eyes were wide. Michael’s soul was even more beautiful than before.  
  


Michael was instantly right by his side, making sure he was alright with worry in his eyes. "Jeremy, are you alright? You didn't hurt yourself, yeah? What happened?"

“Micah- your soul. it- it’s... changed.” Jeremy’s voice was scarcely above a whisper. Jeremy turned his head, and shouted. “Jenna!”

  
Within seconds, Jenna was in the room, looking worried but also sort of annoyed.

  
“This is the second time I’ve been called for, this better be important.” Jeremy nodded vigorously and grabbed her hand, letting her see.

  
“Jenna, look! It’s changed. Michael’s soul has changed!”

Michael seemed to be a bit freaked by all of this, though stood where he was as he nervously glanced between the two. "Uh, what the hell is he talkin' about, Jenna?"

  
"He... Woah, it's like what we saw with Brooke and Chrissy," she muttered out, as if deep in though, before looking to Jeremy with thoughtful, intelligent eyes. "I'd say you're fairing about the same as Michael, Jere. Have you looked at yourself yet since you activated your soul-vision?"

With some difficulty, Jeremy tore his eyes from Michael and looked down. He saw that his soul now had twists of red in it. They moved like ink through water, spiraling throughout his entire being while somehow staying complete themselves. In shock, he dropped Jenna’s hand, half ignoring her purple glow glowing brighter.

  
“How is this possible, Jenna? Michael and I are... mixed souls now? That shouldn’t be possible.” Jeremy was more in wonder than scared, the way they were mixed was beyond beautiful, hypnotizing almost.

"Wait, _what_?"

  
The two seemed to be ignoring Michael's calls to be brought into the loop as Jenna seemed to be lost in thought. "Well, like I said, the only other time we've seen this is with Brooke and Chrissy. Maybe it has something to do with your new relationship, since before then, you two were your own separate entities soul-wise. It would make sense, don't you think?"

“Maybe...” Jeremy closed his eyes and focused, using everything Michael had taught him about his soul. He felt around, trying to see if anything felt different. Subtly, Jeremy thought he felt something new, out of place, and he followed it. Suddenly, Jeremy was overwhelmed with the feeling of _Michael_. Like, there was nothing concrete there, just the sensation of being near Michael. As always when he was near Michael, Jeremy felt a dopey grin spread over his face.

  
“Micah, it’s like a part of you is... here. Like, with me. I can _feel_ you.” Jeremy’s eyes opened and he focused on Michael once more. Even though he had dropped his special vision, he could almost sense the blue in Michael’s soul. “And I think you’ve got a piece of me too.” Jeremy felt sort of dazed, like he had been wrapped up in his blanket and half fallen asleep. He wouldn’t let go of the feeling of Michael, he didn’t want to, it felt too nice.

Michael seemed to be taking all of this information in, his eyes wide as he looked down at himself, though Jeremy knew that he didn't have the ability to see souls like he did. "Well, what you two are saying definitely makes sense now," he mused out before looking back up at Jeremy. "I can't really tell or anything, but I fully believe you. Maybe that's part of the reason why your feelings and stuff have been a bit more passionate, because we got a piece of each other in us?"

“Yeah...” Jeremy scooted closer to Michael, shaking off the daze and the feeling because he had Michael right there. He cleared his throat awkwardly, suddenly remembering that Jenna was watching him with an amused expression. “I mean, that would make sense. I wonder if that means you can’t affect me anymore, because I have a part of you now? And I wonder if any of my powers can go through you since it’s all channeled through our souls.” Jeremy curiosity was spiking again. He really wanted to know now, he just hoped Michael would be willing to help out.

  
Michael seemed to hesitate for a moment when he mentioned Michael's powers working on him. "I mean, if you're willing to test it all out, why would I say no to helping the genius of the group test his theories and stuff out?"

Jeremy blushed at the genius comment but nodded slowly.

  
“I think that would be for the best. Just to make sure.” He wasn’t scared, Michael had said all of his powers only had temporary effects anyway, so there would be no damage from doing some small tests. Out of the corner of his eye, Jeremy saw Jenna nod and get out her tablet. Jeremy stood up next to Michael, already coming up with a way to help calm him. “Here, let’s try it from my side first. Focus on the feeling of... happiness. Like focus on the sensations you get when you’re happy.” Jeremy instructed.

Michael looked a little uncertain but he complied, closing his eyes and focusing. Jeremy tried to push the feeling over to Michael without using his powers, keeping it all internal. Suddenly, Michael started giggling, his eyes flying wide. He looked ecstatic but also confused, like he couldn’t understand why. Jeremy could feel Michael even more clearly now, through his soul, but he also felt the slight tug on his _own_ feelings, like he was giving his own feelings of happiness to Michael.

  
“Okay, I think that’s enough.” Jeremy tried to shut down the link, feeling the tugging sensation grow less intense.

Michael seemed to calm down after a few minutes, though he still had his lopsided grin on before he went and sat down on one of the stools in the room. "Geez, that was a bit... overwhelming, but a good kind," he got out as he rubbed at his cheeks. "I think I took instead of make."

  
Jenna, from the corner of Jeremy's vision, seemed to be typing all of this down with wonder in her eyes as she stared at her tablet's screen.

“Yeah you did.” Jeremy sat down and rubbed the back of his head, almost sheepishly. “But I think that’s actually a good thing. Like, if I’m getting overwhelmed you can pull them from me. I don’t know if you even have to feel them, because I can project emotions even if I’m not feeling them myself.” Jeremy noted Jenna nodding along, fingers moving furiously over her tablet. Jeremy paused, thinking about how to test this out next. “Micah, maybe you should try using your powers on me? I know you can’t use them on yourself, so I don’t think I could either even if I can access them. So try changing my feelings, just for a minute.”

"OK." He saw Michael close his eyes, and he was sure he was concentrating, though he felt nothing different. Maybe he wasn't calm enough to use his power properly, or was pretending to use them?

  
The shift in Michael's face seemed to say otherwise, especially when he opened his eyes and looked at Jeremy with a frown. "Jere? How're you feeling?"

  
Jeremy just shrugged. "I don't feel any different. I told you that you could use it and it would be fine."

  
At that, shock was evident in Michael's expression. "Wh- I'm literally using it at full capacity on you to enhance your feelings, what the hell?"

Jeremy’s face flushed a bright red. Michael was supposed to be turning his feelings up as high as possible, and yet nothing felt different? He really loved Michael that much? Jeremy... really liked that idea. A goofy grin spread onto his lips, even as his face flushed to a darker red.

  
“Well, I’m pretty sure you already know I adore you. Guess you can’t turn up something on max?” Jeremy shrugged, his voice going up in pitch a little near the end. Jeremy saw Michael go bright red himself and turn away. Michael looked a little overwhelmed, if he was being honest, so he just sent a small burst of calm through that pathway he found earlier. Michael’s shoulders relaxed a little.

  
“Okay, that’s really cute how much you love each other and all that, but we need to test both possibilities to be sure. Michael, try turning them down instead. Just for a minute.” Michael shot Jenna a horrified look, and he nodded when he saw Jeremy nod. It was obvious he didn’t like this plan, but he did agree already.

For a moment, Jeremy felt the same. Then the good feelings associated with Michael all just seemed to... drain away. Like, he knew he should be feeling _something_ when he looked at Michael, but he couldn’t place what. He just felt indifferent.

  
“Jere? How do you feel now?” His voice was hesitant, and Jeremy felt a little lost. He knew he should have been worried, but he couldn’t seem to find it in himself to really care.

  
“I feel... empty. Just... indifferent.” He looked over at Jenna, and felt his care for her swell in his heart, but back at Michael and nothing. “I can still feel, I just... don’t feel anything to you.” Jeremy didn’t like this. It felt wrong. It was wrong.

“Make it stop. Please.” Instantly the void was gone and Jeremy launched himself at Michael, tears pricking in his eyes. “I’m sorry. I love you. Please, let’s never do that again.” Jeremy threw himself into Michael’s embrace, tucking himself into his neck.

He just felt Michael hold him close, running his fingers through his hair and pulses of calm wash over him. If he wasn't so overwhelmed by what just happened, he would've been proud for Michael figuring this skill out from their shared bond so suddenly.

  
"Don't apologize, none of this is your fault," he heard Michael murmur out as the calm started to slowly help him ease. Jeremy didn't say anything in response, and instead opted to just burrow as far into the crook of Michael's neck as possible.

Jeremy’s breathing evened out after a moment, the pain from the empty feeling quickly being filled by the love and the care Michael was giving him.

  
“Didn’t mean it,” Jeremy mumbled against Michael’s neck, pressing a soft kiss there. “Feel so much for you. So much s’almost scary. But I love you so s’okay.” Jeremy’s heart stopped hurting and he felt his brain go nice and soft and fuzzy from the calm Michael was pouring through. “S’enough Micah. I’m okay now.”

"OK, that's good," Michael said softly before pressing a kiss to Jeremy's temple. "I know you didn't mean it, that was me doing that, but you're alright now."

  
"I know you were going to work with me after your lesson with Jeremy, but I think this is more than enough for both of you today. I'll let the others know, you take Jeremy back and try to relax for the rest of the day."

  
"Jenna-"

  
"It's alright Mikey, it's not like we're not competent without you around." Jeremy could hear the playfulness in Jenna's voice before Michael sighed and agreed.

  
"Hey, Jere," Michael asked him then, voice still soft, though now more concern was seeping through, "Are you good with walking back? I can carry you part of the way if you need me to, or all the way even."

“M’okay to walk, I just don’t wanna let go of you right now.” Jeremy was feeling really clingy. Despite having his feelings (mostly) suppressed almost his entire life, Jeremy had never felt as empty as he had just then. He understood why Michael hated using his powers now. Jeremy just wanted to stay close, and let them both feel how much Jeremy loved Michael.

Michael just nodded in understanding, shifting so that Jeremy could hold onto his arm as they walked so they could walk (mostly) normally. With a quick 'goodbye' to Jenna, the two walked out of the base and started their walk back to the community.

Jeremy kept himself tucked as closely to Michael as he could get. It was a little awkward to walk this way, but Jeremy didn’t want to be any further away from Michael than he needed to be right now. Every few minutes of walking, he would kiss Michael’s neck and jaw, pressing a small dusting of kisses there, just letting Michael feel loved. Jeremy’s mind still felt a little fuzzy, but it was alright.

  
He wasn’t sure how long the walk took (it had gotten faster as Jeremy built up some stamina) but he didn’t really care as they walked up the stairs to their house. Jeremy was feeling a little less clingy now, but he still stayed close as Michael opened the door, only to be very confused when Michael suddenly gasped. Looking over, Michael was staring at him, frozen, eyes wide with what appeared to be awe.

"You... you're..." He sounded like he was out of breath as he turned to face Jeremy full-on, hands going to reach up and cup his face as he seemed to get literal heart-eyes. "I get it now, oh my _god_."

  
"Get what?" Jeremy asked, his hands gently resting on top of Michael's own as he tried to understand what was happening, though he was feeling love and adoration hitting him in waves.

  
"I can _see_ it now, all on my own. I thought you were beautiful before, but seeing you like _this_? Your soul, it and you together is so... I can't even describe it," Michael said before suddenly lifting Jeremy up, arms around his waist as he held him close and off the ground before whisking him inside, peppering kisses over any uncovered skin he could reach.

Jeremy yelped a little as he was picked up, wrapping his arms _and_ legs around Michael to avoid being dropped, feeling both confused and very, very loved. Michael could see his soul? Maybe because of their soul link. The kisses tickled ever so slightly, but Jeremy couldn’t do much more than squeak at the sensations. Still, as Michael sat down on the couch, keeping Jeremy on his lap, Jeremy couldn’t help but giggle a little at the love-struck expression he wore.

"God, I didn't think it was possible to love you more," Michael muttered out before peppering kisses to Jeremy's face, all quick and in a way that felt familiar to earlier when he tried kissing every freckle of his. "But now I just... _wow_. I don't even know how to express _how_ much I love you right now, every way I'm trying isn't enough, it feels like there's no way to even express it!"

Jeremy squirmed a little under such the other’s ministrations. This was different to yesterday, or any of the times today when Michael started kissing Jeremy; this felt raw, unfiltered, like it was love it’s most natural state. He whined a little at how much love was suddenly being piled on him, but he had to ask before his brain got too fuzzy from the affection.

  
“Micah...Micah.” Michael stopped for a second, instantly attentive to what Jeremy was saying. “What are you seeing? Let me _feel_ it.” Michael smiled softly and suddenly Jeremy was overwhelmed with love and affection and adoration and every possible emotion even remotely like love. His brain started to fuzz over. Jeremy fell limp against Michael, a dopey grin on his face, and he just let Michael do whatever he wanted. It all felt so nice. He hummed happily.

He could hear Michael giggling before he was brought into the other's arms and peppered with more kisses across his face. "I just have so many mad gigantic feelings for you and I can't describe it, I just know that what I'm feeling is something that I never want to stop feeling." After a few moments of love-filled silence, Jeremy could feel them moving once he was cradled into Michael's arms, and he was vaguely aware of them moving upstairs.

  
Not until he was swaddled up with Michael in his fuzzy blanket did Jeremy realize they were moved into Michael's room, too blissed out to notice much besides Michael and his love. "There, now we're all comfy," Michael mused out before holding him closer and continuing to kiss across his face. "And you now know how I felt yesterday!"

“Mmm?” Jeremy felt like he was in heaven. Or dreaming. Nothing this good, this sweet, could be real, could it? But each and every kiss from Michael was soft and loving, the arms wrapped around him were strong and solid, and Michael’s heartbeat, which Jeremy felt thundering against his own chest, was rhythmic and perfectly aligned with Jeremy’s. Michael was too real for this to be anything but reality. Thinking was hard with so many warm, lovely feelings bouncing around. Speaking was even harder. But, as Jeremy tilted his head, exposing his neck slightly, he forced his mouth to move.

  
“Trust you, Micah. Y’can kiss there too.” His words were a mumbled mess, but Jeremy was too deep in his bliss to really care. This was intimate in a way he never thought he could experience, like his entire being was not only on display for Michael, but also being shaped by him. And it felt like Michael was loving every single part as it was while also helping him to grow.

He could feel those lips touch gently against his neck, but not as if he was frail. No, it was more tender and intimate than that, as he kissed every single exposed mark that he could reach, which left Jeremy reeling. "I love you so much, Jeremy," he heard him mutter out before he felt Michael begin to settle down, just holding him close as he felt fingers run through his hair and Michael settle his head down on Jeremy's chest. "So damn much."

Jeremy hummed as Michael continued to play with his hair, feeling his already heavy eyes begin to slip shut.

  
“Love you too, Micah. More than anything.” Jeremy was slurring, maybe a little affection drunk? His heartbeat was slow and he felt so damned relaxed that Jeremy wasn’t sure where he even was anymore. He could have been floating in space, or lying in a forest, or sinking to the bottom of the ocean for all he cared, all Jeremy knew was that Michael was there. He slipped into that strange place between sleep and awake, his body too relaxed to move and his mind too blissed out to do much besides think of his Michael. He tried his best to let Michael feel that too.

Michael seemed to yawn after a little bit, his fingers in Jeremy's hair slowly stilling before a gentle kiss was placed to his temple. "Mm, 'm gonna nap for a bit. When I get up, we can make somethin' to eat, OK?"

Jeremy hummed in agreement, finally letting himself slip into the warm embrace of sleep.


	9. Dreams and Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! So this is Mara! I’m posting today because Ari can’t do it, but we don’t wanna keep you lovely people waiting!  
> I can’t believe we’re over 400 views??? Thank you guys so much for the love and support in the comments, and for reading our story! It means so much!
> 
> Now a word from our Ari:  
> ‘I cannot believe we are almost halfway done with this! We are getting some more world and lore building this chapter, and then more drama happens. Thanks so much to Mara for posting for me today since I’m unable to, isn’t she so lovely? Anyway, enjoy this chapter and thanks for over 400 hits??? You guys ROCK! <333’
> 
> She’s a big sweetheart, right? Either way, we establish some new lore as well as some extra fun drama >;3c I’m really hoping you don’t hate us by the end of this story. The drama and angst only gets worse from here...  
> Enjoy! <3 <3 <3

Jeremy found himself in a comfortable routine for the next few weeks. He’d wake up with Michael. Have breakfast and get dressed with Michael still in the room, he had nothing to hide now. Then the day would progress one of two ways: Jeremy would head over to the base happily wrapped around Michael for a day of learning and planning, or it would be him and Michael at home, spending time together without being on top of each other. Jeremy would sew while Michael worked on plans, or Jeremy learning to cook with Michael teaching him from his spot on the opposite counter, bent over some of the notes Jeremy had given him. It was a peaceful life, and Jeremy loved every second of it.

  
The day things started to go weird happened about 2 months after Jeremy and Michael had gotten together. Mrs Doherty had stopped by with presents from her and her husband, who was a metalworker. Two pendants, in the shape of a leaf, carved with a protection spell and the other’s name. Jeremy had put his on instantly.

 

"Thank you so much, Mrs, Doherty," Michael said as he put his own pendant on, giving her a warm smile. "Are you sure there isn't-"

  
"Michael, I swear, if you try to insist that you repay me one more time, I'm going to lose it." There was no real threat or bite behind what she was saying, though, and it was more like a formality at this point. 

  
Still, it was nice, and after they let Mrs. Doherty sit and talk for a bit, they were alone and Michael wrapped his arms around Jeremy from behind once he shut the door. "It does look really good on you, Jere," Michael mused out before pressing a firm kiss to his freckled cheek.

 

“Mmmm, looks good on you too, Micah. The darker green enamel on yours makes you skin glow.” Jeremy’s tone was laced with wonder, as it always was when he thought about how beautiful Michael was. Jeremy turned his head and pulled Michael down into a quick kiss. “C’mon. We need tea and then off to bed. Elder Partridge wants to see _ both _ of us in the morning.” Jeremy nuzzled against Michael’s cheek, holding onto his arms.

 

Michael whined at that before tugging Jeremy closer, giving him an over-exaggerated pout. "Do we  _ have  _ to go tomorrow? Can't we just stay here instead and pretend we're not feeling well, just the two of us snuggling in bed in-and-out of sleep?" Of course he was joking (at least with actually going through with this), as he had known Elder Partridge for a long time since his mom has been apart of the court for as long as Michael could recall.

 

Jeremy giggled, rocking him and Michael from side to side, foot to foot.

  
“As much as I would love a lazy day, I have a feeling she wants to talk to me a bit more about staying here. And since you’re my guardian and protector, you need to come too.” Jeremy chuckled, twisting so he was facing Michael and wrapping his arms around his neck. “It’s okay, love. I’ll protect you from the scary council lady.” The pouty, babyish voice only helped to tease Michael.

 

He saw Michael's pout increase before he felt Michael bury his face into the crook of his neck, grumbling about not being able to be lazy when he wanted to and stupid adult responsibilities. Michael only pulled his face out to mutter, "Can we at least relax for the rest of the day  _ after _ the meeting? It's gonna be crazy planning stuff with Jenna and your dad for the next few days, and I wanna soak in as much Jeremy-time as possible before then."

 

“Of course, Micah.” Jeremy cooed, running his fingers through Michael’s hair gently. “We can snuggle as long as you like. But for now, let’s get some nice chamomile tea and head off to bed.” Jeremy started slowly walking them both towards the kitchen, careful to not dislodge Michael from his shoulder, earning him a giggle.

 

He heard Michael murmur out a soft, "Yay," before he felt Michael rebury his face into his neck, nuzzling close to the skin there as he walked along with Jeremy. It wasn't uncommon for Michael to get like this now, especially if stressful events were on the horizon, and Jeremy knew these planning sessions coming up were going to be long, intense, and stressful.

 

He didn’t mind, finding the close, loving contact to be reassuring and calming for him too. There was no way he could ever believe he was anywhere but at home when buried in Michael’s arms, no matter how many bad memories might get brought up. The soft kisses belong trailed along his neck were so sweet and calming that Jeremy almost over-brewed the tea just from being so lost in his boyfriend’s ministrations.

 

"Geez, am I really  _ that  _ distracting?" Michael teased once Jeremy was pouring their cups of tea, gently squeezing around his waist and pressing a soft kiss to the underside of his jaw before pulling back to grab his own cup.

 

“You’re too damned distracting for you own good, Micah.” Jeremy snagged his cup, blowing on in lightly and enjoying the steam that curled up from it. He liked drinking his tea when it was a little cooler, just enough to warm his insides as much as Michael did. God he was so corny. Not that Michael seemed to mind. “You know? I’ve got a bit of a weird feeling about tonight. I don’t know, maybe I’m just nervous to see Elder Partridge again. I haven’t seen her since I literally bared my soul to the council.” He chuckled lightly, unable shake the weird feeling. It wasn’t... unpleasant exactly, it just made him feel fidgety.

 

Michael hummed softly in reply before sipping on his tea, though he did blow on the hot surface first. "I think it might be nerves, and it  _ has _ been three months since you last saw her, and you were about to burst with anxiety," the taller of the pair elaborated, though reached a hand over and wrapped his arm around Jeremy's shoulders. "You're going to be fine though, and I'll be here with you the entire time when you see her. I promise I won't let anything bad happen to you." With a kiss to his temple, Michael gave the other a warm smile that made his chest ache in all the best ways before Jeremy watched him drink some more tea.

 

“I have no doubt that whenever I need you, you’ll be there. I know you’ll always look after me, Micah.” Jeremy hummed, sipping at his tea. “I love you so much.” He pressed a few quick kisses to Michael’s jaw, closing his eyes as he leant lightly into his neck, feeling his pulse.

 

"I love you with all of my being," Michael murmured, resting his head atop Jeremy's for a few moments before going to finish his tea. "I still wish we didn't have to go though," he quickly added, whether he was still playing or being honest unsure, though there was still fondness in his voice either way. "You're the best at snuggling when we're still half-asleep

 

Jeremy quickly moved his head to take a long drink of his tea, before resting it back where it was. 

  
“S’cause I don’t have the energy to think. Means I can just do.” He was starting to slur a little, tiredness crashing into him quickly. Jeremy hummed as he pressed a few sweet kisses up Michael’s neck and along his jaw, taking his time to enjoy the sensations.

 

"Oh, so you're blaming your big brain on this? I'm glad your finally accepting your role as the smart one," Michael teased as he craned his neck, letting Jeremy kiss where he wanted to. "Good to know, though."

 

“‘M not smarter than you, Micah. Different sort of smart. You’re super smart too,” Jeremy mumbled, placing down his empty cup and turning to bury his face in Michael’s neck, continuing to press small kisses there. He was starting to fade, finding his consciousness holding on only long so Michael would finish his tea. This always happened after their evening tea, and Jeremy knew that Michael enjoyed the routine.

 

"Mm, if you say so," Michael practically hummed out as he happily sipped at his tea, finishing it off before putting their empty cups into the sink to wash in the morning. He could feel Michael's arms shift, picking him up in his arms that let Jeremy's head stay buried into the crook of Michael's neck. "How 'bout we get goin' to bed though?"

 

Jeremy hummed in agreement already starting to drift into sleep. The last thing he registered was the warm, fuzzy blanket being wrapped around both him and Michael and Michael’s strong arms wrapping around him.

  
  
Jeremy found himself in a cold, circular room. The walls were a horrible mixture of off white and dark grey, and there was nothing to indicate any sort of personality. The only other thing in the room was the SQUIP, who stood above Jeremy, fingers crackling with electricity.

  
“You’ve been very bad, Jeremy. Come home and we can fix everything.” Jeremy stumbled backwards, away from the SQUIP. He began running, but the door seemed to get further and further away. Suddenly, a pair of arms wrapped around Jeremy’s chest and neck, making it hard to breathe and sending electric shocks all throughout his body. He was stuck, he couldn’t get away, he could barely  _ breathe _ , so he did the only think he could think to do. He screamed for his protector.

  
“Michael!” The feeling of arms around him shattered like glass, as did the horrible room around him. Jeremy crumpled to the floor (which was now a lovely mixture between oranges, yellows and pinks. Sort of like the clouds at sunset) and began sobbing. He needed Michael desperately right then.

 

It seemed to be forever until he felt a presence near him, though he heard the soft, reassuring sounds that he knew so well. He flinched at first, but as soon as he knew it was Michael's hand on his back, he moved in one motion, practically throwing himself onto Michael.

  
Those warm, strong arms wrapped around him, holding him close. He could hear Michael's heartbeat as his head rested against the other's chest, helping to bring him back from his panic, especially with the fingers oh-so gently rubbing against his scalp. "It's OK, Jere, I'm right here. You're alright, and so am I," the other reassured him before kisses were pressed against wherever Michael could reach.

 

“Micah, he was here. The SQUIP was here and he had me and he was shocking me and I couldn’t get away. I was so scared, Micah.” Jeremy sobbed, clutching desperately at his hoodie... Wait, hoodie? Jeremy distinctly remembered Michael taking that off before bed. He even remembered getting  _ into _ bed. Where ever was he? Was any of this real? “Micah, what’s going on? Where are we?”

 

Michael glanced around then, as if he was waiting for Jeremy to address the elephant in the room before commenting on it. "Honestly, I have no clue. I was in the middle of a dream, and then I was here and saw you curled up, and my instincts just sorta kicked in." He felt Michael's fingers start to absentmindedly mill through his hair as Michael seemed to think. "Maybe this a soul-bond thing? Or something only blue souls can do? This is new to me, so I really have no idea..."

 

Jeremy pressed his face against Michael’s chest, feeling the heartbeat there. Michael was too solid and warm to be anything but real. And Jeremy was pretty certain that he was real too. So the rest of this was a dream?

  
“So it’s a piece of magic even you don’t know about? How weird...” Jeremy giggled, his head still a little fuzzy from his earlier panic. “Hey, Micah? What were you dreaming about?”

 

Michael seemed to get quiet at that, and he glanced up to see the other's face flushed. "Well... it's starting to fade a bit now, but I remember there being something about a big, fluffy dog, and I think I was burying my face into it and lying down with the dog..." Well, Jeremy certainly wasn't expecting _ that  _ when Michael seemed so flustered.

 

Jeremy playfully poked Michael’s belly and giggled.

  
“Micah, you love dogs and everything and I know you do, but I don’t think they get you all flustered like this,” he teased lightly, poking Michael’s belly again.

 

"He was such a good boy!" Michael countered, looking down at Jeremy with a pout on his lips. "He was so cuddly and fluffy and I loved him so much. You had gotten him for me and he was the best damn dog."

 

“Well I guess I have to get you a dog one day. He can be our baby and we can raise him together.” Jeremy giggled, nuzzling into Michael’s chest, loving the idea of having a dog. He found he liked the animals that were kept near the village, and the loved the pets who stayed with the people. Dogs were 100% his favourite, though.

 

The other's eyes seemed to light up at that idea. "Wait, really? I've always wanted a dog," Michael explained before holding Jeremy a bit closer, taking him further away from his troubles that brought them together in this new place. "I kept begging Mom and Mama to let us get one, but they kept putting it off."

 

Jeremy nodded, not moving from his place in Michael’s lap. He was feeling safe and happy again.

  
“Yup. When we have our own house, we can get a dog. A big, fluffy one who loves cuddles but also likes to run around so we can play with them.”

 

"Yes, a fluffy dog at that. That dog will get all of the love they deserve," Michael mused out, seemingly resting his head as best he could from this odd angle.

 

Jeremy giggled. “They’ll also get the most handsome dad. All the other dogs will be jealous because Michael Mell is that dog’s dad!”

 

"Yes, but they'll be even more jealous because Jeremy Heere is the dog's other dad, and he's the smartest, prettiest, and kindest dad and boyfriend anyone could ever have," Michael cooed out before pressing kisses behind the shell of his ear.

 

Jeremy mumbled something into the plush of Michael’s hoodie, and Michael chuckled.

  
“Speak up, Jere. Can’t hear you when you talk  _ into _ me.” Jeremy looked up at him just long enough to stutter out a repeat of what he said.

  
“You mean Jeremy Mell,” he whispered before turning to hide his face in Michael’s hoodie again, his cheeks matching the bright red fabric.

 

He could feel Michael start to shake, and when he looked up, it was because of joyous laughter escaping him before holding him closer. "Oh my god,  _ Jeremy, I love you so fucking much _ ," Michael practically laughed out before smothering Jeremy in kisses.

 

Jeremy giggled as he was pampered with affection, pleased that Michael had such a good reaction to his not-such-a-joke. “One day, I would really like that...” Jeremy hummed as more kisses were placed on his neck, tilting his head back to let Michael reach easier. Michael was the only one allowed near his neck and so showing it off, even in private, was a big thing for Jeremy still. Even if they were still in a dream. Huh, that had totally slipped his mind.

 

"I would love that too," Michael admitted against the skin of his neck before placing a long kiss there. "God, imagine how nice that all would be. If we had one, it would be after all of the SQUIP bullshit's done. Then we can have our new house built and we can carry whoever across the threshold of the house, and it'll be so nice."

 

“You’d carry me.” Jeremy said with no hesitation, no shame. “You rescued me, it’s only right you’d carry me into our new home.” Jeremy giggled, pressing a lingering kiss to Michael’s lips. “You always come when I call. Even when I was having a nightmare, you managed to come when I called.” Jeremy moved a hand into Michael’s hair, playing with it softly. “I can’t wait for that to be real...”

 

Michael seemed to lean into the touch, smiling as he let out a soft sigh. "Hopefully we won't have to wait too long," the other muttered out as he watched Michael shut his eyes.

 

“Mmm, I don’t think it’ll be too long to wait at all.” Jeremy hummed, closing his eyes as well. There was the subtle feeling of the world spinning, and slowly Jeremy found himself in a different position to how he was a second ago. He was laying in bed, Michael’s arms around him protectively as his boyfriend’s eyes fluttered open. 

  
“G’morning.”

 

He watched Michael groan before he felt him bury his face into the crook of his neck. "Mm,  _ nooo _ , I want more sleep."

 

“Micah! We can’t sleep more! We need to get up and do stuff!” Jeremy giggled at Michael’s reaction, even if it was pretty common. He never got tired of how  _ cute _ Michael could be. “Hey, Micah? Did... you have a strange dream last night?”

 

Michael grumbled, clinging tighter to Jeremy and holding him any closer, if that was even possible. "Mm? Yeah, I was with you in these nice clouds," he got out, his breath ghosting against Jeremy's neck before he placed a lazy kiss there.

 

Jeremy tilted his head back, giving Michael more access.

  
“Michael and Jeremy Mell with the big, fluffy dog.” Jeremy murmured, reaching up to play with Michael’s hair. He was curious to see Michael’s reaction to that, wondering how much the other remembered.

 

"Mm, yeah, our fluffy dog son," Michael replied against the skin of his neck. He still seemed to be at least half-asleep, though actually seemed to be falling back asleep. "With his pretty, smart dad..."

 

“You’re carrying me across the threshold, remember Micah?” Jeremy giggled, massaging Michael’s scalp lightly. “I had that same one, Micah. You helped me out from a nightmare and into a dream somehow, remember?”

 

"Mm, yeah... You're so comfy," Michael said, lips now lazily resting against his neck as he seemed seconds away from returning to the sleeping world.

 

Jeremy giggled again, pulling away just enough so he could switch their positions. Once he was tucked into Michael’s neck (with some half asleep grumbling from Michael himself) Jeremy giggled again.

  
“Sorry love, but you brought this on yourself.” And with that, Jeremy blew a great big raspberry on the side of Michael’s neck.

 

The scream of surprise Michael let out at that had Jeremy practically bursting at the seams. Michael was definitely awake now, looking down at Jeremy with horror and offense (mostly playful) as he held a hand over where Jeremy started his attack. "Jeremy, how _ could _ you? You broke our sacred bond, our trust."

 

“Well you were disrespecting our fluffy son by not giving him the validation he needed in the real world.” Jeremy pouted back before breaking down in laughter once again. These weren’t small giggles, they were the full out wheezing chuckles that made Jeremy feel ever so slightly embarrassed. He couldn’t stop himself though, too much joy bubbling through him.   
  


 

Michael just let out his own boisterous laughter to match, snorting and laughing loudly as Jeremy felt joy and love being sent his way through their bond. "I-I needed to regain more energy be-before I gave him the right v-validation!" Michael tried to reason through his snorts.

 

Jeremy’s laughter died down to exuberant giggled instead. He rolled himself and Michael over, so he was laying fully on Michael. A quick peck on his boyfriend’s lips calmed him down enough to tease him a little more.

  
“And what about the fact that I agreed to take your last name? Nothing to say about that?”

 

"Nope, because I'm perfectly content with that," Michael hummed out now that his laughter had died down. "Plus, you won't have all of the terrible last name puns anymore. All of the freedom, all of the possibilities!" As he was exclaiming, Michael's arms were moving around in an animated fashion in the air.

 

Jeremy giggled and pressed a lingering kiss to Michael’s lips once again. Then he chuckled.

  
“Does this count as me proposing? Or do we need a ring for that?” Jeremy joked, but he was mildly serious about the question. He did intend to spend the rest of his natural life with Michael, and he wanted Michael to know that. He wanted Michael to know how special he was to Jeremy, and how much Jeremy loved him.

 

"Mm... No, but know it's a promise that it will happen," Michael said, his tone soft yet serious as he moved a hand down to cup Jeremy's cheek before he kissed him this time. "I will make it special, unique, and something you will treasure, more than you even treasure your favorite memories of us." 

  
After he spoke though, Michael glanced to the side, his face seeming to warm up as his sudden romantic confidence faded away. "Uh, yeah..."

 

Jeremy reached over to cup Michael’s cheek too, turning his face to meet Jeremy’s honest and loving gaze.

  
“I can’t wait,” was all he said before he began peppering Michael’s face with a multitude of kisses. “You always know just how to make me feel so special, my love.” Jeremy murmured against Michael’s skin. He didn’t often use those nicknames anymore, but when he did they always got Michael flustered and happy in the best way (Michael would tend not to agree, but he never protested their use).

 

Michael practically squeaked at that, his fade almost as red as his soul, but didn't stop Jeremy from doing or saying anything. He just took all of the love that he had to give, his eyes seeming to fill with all the love and adoration Jeremy knew Michael had for him. "Mm..."

 

Jeremy rested his head on Michael’s chest, listening to his (pounding) heartbeat for a minute. He had to admit, out of everything, this was easily one of his favourite sounds. Michael’s heartbeat and Michael’s voice. The two best sounds in the universe. He let his adoration pour through the bond, opening it as wide as possible so Michael could feel just how much Jeremy loved him. The, he pushed himself up and pecked Michael’s cheek.

  
“C’mon. Breakfast time.”

  
  


After they cooked and made breakfast, the pair made their way to the council house, hand-in-hand while wearing the new pendants. Michael happily swung their intertwined hands as they walked, happily kissing the back of Jeremy's hand whenever he purposefully swung them close enough, and Jeremy could feel the enjoyment he got from the action and how flustered it made him in public.

 

Jeremy giggled and pressed a quick kiss to Michael’s cheek before trying to compose himself. He wanted to make a good impression. He gently knocked on the door to Elder Partridge’s office.

  
“Come in!” she called, and Jeremy felt a shiver go down his spine with how much latent power was bubbling just under the surface.

 

Michael gave him a soft smile before he reached over and opened the door, gently squeezing Jeremy's hand as they entered the space.

 

Elder Partridge sat at an old, mahogany desk, looking much the same as Jeremy remembered her. She was a short, wizened old woman with piercing blue eyes and an aura of power, Jeremy didn’t even need to use his powers to sense how strong she was, or to see that she was a white soul. Out of respect, he bowed slightly at the waist, a little overwhelmed by the sheer energy in the air. She chuckled and beckoned them both in.

  
“Now Jeremy, no need to be so formal. You’ve proven yourself as part of the village by now. My sister has made sure of that.” That’s right, Mrs Doherty and Elder Partridge were sisters, even of they didn’t share anywhere near the same sort of powers. Mrs Doherty was pink after all. 

  
“Thank you ma’am, but I still feel like I need to at least pay respect to your powerful, white soul. It’s so bright that I don’t even need to look for it.” Jeremy smiled a little, feeling a bit more comfortable. Elder Partridge looked a little surprised.

 

Michael just smiled as he nodded along with what Jeremy told the Elder. "He's been honing in on his skills since you helped to unlock them, and the progress he's made is honestly astounding," he informed her, hands behind his back as he was seemingly mocking the idea of formality to the older woman before more honesty seeped into his voice. "Really, I've never seen anything like he can do. He's an amazing soul who we're all lucky to have in our lives."

 

“Micah, hush!” Jeremy hissed, but there was no venom behind it. Jeremy was just feeling a little flustered at Michael’s sincere compliment. Elder Partridge chuckle once again and Jeremy was suddenly struck by the similarity between Mrs Doherty and Elder Partridge in a way he had never noticed before.

  
“You don’t need to tell me that, Michael. I saw his soul on that first day, I already knew he was special. I actually called you both here for a different reason. Now you two are the brightest souls after my own. I was hoping you might let me train you in some of the more advanced magics should either of you decide to join the council when you’re older.”

 

Jeremy couldn't help but feel pride and honor swell up within him at that request. Did she really think so highly of them? Well, of course she would think so highly of Michael, but  _ him too _ ? 

  
"W-really?" Michael sounded so shocked, and glancing over, he could see his eyes wide. "I... Yes, thank you, I definitely will accept it." He saw Michael glance over to him, eyes practically sparkling at this as they seemed to ask him if he was going to accept as well, though there was no pressure behind it, just genuine curiosity and excitement.

 

“Thank you so much, ma’am. Yes... please teach me. Teach us. It would be such an honour,to learn from you. Though, I am still learning the basics. My healing, for example, is atrocious, even if I can find the right herbs to help.” Jeremy giggled, slightly sheepishly, and grinned, pride still pulling through him.

 

At that, Michael just playfully scoffed and waved a hand over at Jeremy. "Oh, he's just being modest. He's really good at it and is picking so many things up so quickly, you'd be astounded by him," Michael bragged, glancing over at Jeremy with his huge, lopsided grin.   
  


Jeremy flushed at all the praise being thrust upon him by Michael. He couldn’t help himself, Jeremy scooted closer to Michael and looped his arm around Michael’s waist, hiding in his shoulder.

  
“Micah, you’re spoiling me,” Jeremy whined, but there was no bite. Both Jeremy and Michael had quickly discovered that Jeremy melted under even a little praise, having gotten almost none growing up. Whenever it was heaped on him, he’d always turn shy.

  
“Margret was right, you two are so sweet together.” Elder Partridge mused quietly. Jeremy was finding she was very different to how she behaved at the council meeting. He thought he might grow to be quite fond of her.

 

Michael seemed unable to help but chuckle as he wrapped an arm around Jeremy as well, pulling him a little closer. “I mean, how can you  _ not _ be with him, Elder? Just look at him!” OK, he had to just be doing this to make him a more flustered mess in front of Elder Partridge, even if he was being sweet.

 

“Micah…,” Jeremy groaned, his face going bright red. The other two people in the room chuckled at Jeremy’s behaviour, but along with a little embarrassment, Jeremy just felt happy. Comfortable. This meeting wasn’t nearly as scary as he had feared.

  
“Now, I’m sure you two have plans, off you go. I’ll send you the details for the lessons by tomorrow. Unless you have any questions?” Jeremy saw Elder Partridge make a ‘shoo’ motion with her hands.

  
“Umm. Actually, there were a couple of magic related questions? Michael didn’t know the answers and none of our friends seem to know either,” Jeremy piped up, turning to face her. She nodded and gestured for him to continue. “Firstly, we shared a dream last night. I was having a nightmare, and I called out for Michael and suddenly I was somewhere else. And Michael was there too. It was almost like being in... clouds at sunset, but they were solid.”

 

Michael nodded in agreement to what Jeremy was saying before giving him a gentle squeeze. “Yeah, I had been in the middle of a dream, and then I was suddenly there in this weird place. I tried to wrack my brain to figure out if I knew anything like that, but I really had no clue,” he admitted, and Jeremy saw him looking at the Elder for guidance on this. “Do you have any idea what happened?”   
  


Elder Partridge seemed a little shocked, but slowly nodded her head.

  
“I have heard about such a thing before. It is a rare gift  _ and _ curse that very few powerful witches have had over history. It’s called dream-walking. In essence, it allows the user to create a space within their head to escape from their own dreams, as well as bring anyone else with magic to them. People would use them to contact family and friends anywhere else in the world. But once the door was opened to someone, they could access it whenever the user was asleep. So, in theory, Michael could enter your own dreamscape whenever you’re both asleep. This is actually extremely fascinating, it was such a rare skill even in the old days...” She trailed off, lost in thought. It was almost as though he had forgotten the boys were there. It made Jeremy a little uncomfortable.

 

“We also have mixed souls,” he blurted suddenly, hiding back in Michael’s shoulder.

 

Michael just nodded in agreement to what he was saying, seemingly unphased by the Elder’s behavior (though it would make sense, as he was raised here and was used to this behavior from her). “Jeremy saw it through his soul vision, and I... through our bond, I’m able to just naturally see souls too, even if it isn’t to the extent Jeremy has. I’ve been able to see not just him, but truly see him and his soul in tandem. It’s... it’s amazing,” he finished, seemingly in awe and almost breathless.

 

Jeremy giggled, leaning up and pressing a small kiss on Michael’s cheek with a murmur of, “Sap.” He was a little more used to having Michael suddenly staring at him or being overwhelmed with the need to pamper him out of the blue. Jeremy was a little more used to the flashes of seeing Michael’s soul, and usually had a bit better control of himself because of it. He still did sometimes get a little caught up in. 

  
Elder Partridge chuckled, watching them fondly.

  
“That is called a soul bond, and is used to indicate soulmates. Contrary to popular belief, soulmates aren’t born, they’re made. They’re built up from trust and love and friendship, and when everyone involved connect on a soul level, they mix, drawing a little of the other into themselves. So you literally share a part of your souls, that means.”

 

“Yeah, that makes sense,” was all Michael murmured out in response, as he seemed to try to stay respectful and pay attention to the Elder while he held Jeremy close. Jeremy could feel the adoration radiating off of Michael at that point, obviously just wanting to focus back in on him after that little speech.   
  


Jeremy giggled again, looking over to Elder Partridge. She was smiling at them both, her gaze gentle and knowing.

  
“If that’s everything, you two should go. I have some documents to attend to.” She winked at Jeremy, who nodded eagerly in return.

  
“Thank you, Elder Partridge. We’ll see you when our lessons start!” And with that, Jeremy all but dragged Michael out of her office and into the waiting room beside it.   
  


Michael thanked her as well before he left the room with Jeremy. As soon as they were out of her line of sight, Michael picked up Jeremy before peppering his face with kisses. “ _ God _ , you’re so adorable,” he murmured out before pulling back to grin down at him. “And smart and talented, because getting Elder Partridge like that is a big deal.”

 

“Is it? She seemed really nice though...” Jeremy murmured, content to bask in the affection for a while. By the time Michael pulled away, Jeremy had a large, dopey grin on his face. “I swear, you’re the only one who can make me stop thinking.” Jeremy pecked Michael’s lips. “So thank you.”

 

Michael let out a playful whine at that before taking Jeremy’s hand and leading them out. “I mean, I don’t want you to stop thinking, but I’m glad that I can make you happy. That’s all I want to help you do, honestly, because you deserve it after everything you’ve been through.”

 

Jeremy shook his head, smiling softly.

  
“No silly. I mean I tend to overthink everything. You’re the only one who lets me stop that. Just... be... and enjoy the moment.” Jeremy looked over at Michael, love brimming through the bond and clear on his face. He lightly bumped their shoulders, grinning.

 

“Well, I’m glad I can help you do that,” Michael replied as he bumped their shoulders again, smiling fondly down at Jeremy. “You deserve to be able to do that, honestly.”

 

“Yeah well, anxiety is a little bitch and can kiss my pasty white ass.” Jeremy giggled at Michael’s scandalised expression, shrugging slightly. “You can blame Jenna for that one. She has a... colourful vocabulary which she doesn’t exactly try to censor.”

 

“Oh, of course she does,” Michael said with the roll of his eyes before gently squeezing him closer. “Well, I happen to  _ adore _ your pasty white ass.” It was obvious that he was trying hard to not giggle as he said that, as a few snickers cane through.

 

“Damn right you should. Everything about me is awesome,” Jeremy agreed with a nod, trying hard to keep a straight face. Then he broke down in giggles, unable to keep his face serious any longer.

 

Michael couldn’t help but break out into laughter, unable to hold anything back. He tossed his head back as he snorted as well, and it seemed like no time had passed but they were outside the house already.

 

“C’mon, Micah! I promised you snuggles after the meeting and I intend to supply!” Jeremy declared dramatically, opening the door and pulling Michael inside.

 

Michael rolled his eyes at that, though was smiling so wide as he let himself be pulled in. “I won’t let you break that promise either, you goof.”


	10. Unexpected Encounters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all of your support so far, guys! I'm back to posting chapters, I was literally out for fourteen hours yesterday, ugh. Have this angst-filled chapter with a little bit of fluff! <3  
> Also, a few words from our lovely, amazing, dear Mara (I saw the compliment you gave me last time, you 'ain't getting away with it without me complimenting you back):
> 
> 'Buckle up kiddos! You’re in for a wild ride from here on out! Thanks so much for over 450 views, your support means the world to us!'

After some more weeks of intense planning, Jeremy joining in by the end to help with the important details about the Inside, they were ready to go and scout around for a bit. Well, Michael would and then bring Jeremy along, since they would be the best choices out of everyone.

  
The night before their first recon mission, Michael was trying his best to relax himself, but his dreams were showing his own anxieties back at him. He, for a brief moment in his dream, remembered how Jeremy was able to reach out to him and make their own dreamscape, so maybe he could too?

  
Michael reached out to Jeremy in his dream, buzzing with anxiety, even if he wasn’t sure exactly what he was doing. After what seemed like an eternity of his fears washing over him, he realized that he was back in that sunset-esque setting, sitting on ‘clouds.’ Looking around the area he created, he could still feel his chest filling up with pressure, and he tried to call out for the person he created this place to see. “J-jere? Are you here?”

 

For a minute, Michael thought he saw what looked like an old projector screen playing something faintly on one of the clouds. Then, from the center of the pale moving shapes, Jeremy stepped out. He blinked, looking a little confused but not upset. The moment his gaze landed on Michael, however, he was off like a shot, kneeling down next to Michael, worry clouding his features.

  
“Micah? Are you alright?” Jeremy’s eyes darted around briefly and he finally recognized where they were, if his eyes widening were any indication. “Nightmare?” he asked gently.

 

Michael nodded, taking deep, accounted for breaths in and out as he reached out, though not grabbing Jeremy’s hand yet. “Yeah, I just... my anxiety, ‘n the pressure in my chest,” he fumbled as he tried to explain before shutting his eyes and resting his hands against the tops of his knees, trying to calm himself down a bit more (which was a little easier now that Jeremy was here.).

 

“S’okay, Micah. It’s a big day tomorrow and it’s something you’ve never done before. It’s okay to be nervous. But remember I’m going to be right there with you, first just outside and then right next to you. We’ve practiced and I’ll be right there too.” Jeremy’s voice and his words were calming, and he kept his hand within reach at all times. It was their system, if Michael was struggling, Jeremy would offer his hand until he was ready to take it. It had been that way since the first night. The familiarity of the situation helped remove a little of the tightness from his chest.

 

As he took in everything Jeremy was saying, Michael nodded. By the end of his reassuring talk, Michael’s hand was holding Jeremy’s, their fingers intertwined as his breathing started to even out. “Yeah... Yeah, it’ll all be fine.” Finally, he lifted his head up to look at Jeremy, a weak smile present as he squeezed his hand. “Thanks, Jere.”

 

“Always and forever, Micah. Whenever you need me, I’ll do whatever I can to be there for you.” Jeremy didn’t move to kiss him, but the feeling was still there. Instead, Jeremy opened the bond a bit wider, letting relaxation and love pour through. It was almost as good.

 

“I’ll always do the same for you too,” he reassured, sending his own love and affection through their bond before tugging at Jeremy’s arm, inviting him to get closer and relax a bit more himself.

 

“I know you will,” Jeremy cooed, scooting closed to Michael and wrapping an arm around him. “Hey, Micah. Guess what? You can’t even escape me when you’re asleep. You’re stuck with me forever now,” Jeremy teased, offering reassurance at the same time. He nuzzled Michael’s shoulder before looking up at him with a small grin.

 

“Oh no, I’m doomed!” Michael playfully cried out before holding Jeremy close, an arm wrapped around his waist. “I’ll never be able to get away from my Jere-bear! What a travesty that has befallen poor ol’ Michael Mell!” To add to the drama of it all, Michael threw his head back and rested his free arm across his face. “Oh, woe is me!”

 

Jeremy giggled but played along. He threw his arms up, making his hands look like claws.

  
“Roar! I’m so terrifying that I’m going to keep you all to myself and love you forever!” Jeremy wrapped his arms around Michael, giggling and rocking them side to side.

 

Michael’s arm that was still free waved in the air, and he pretended to call out for help. “Please, someone help! My boyfriend is going to keep loving me! Oh no!” It was hard for him to even get that out between his loud fits of joyful laughter.

 

“You’ll never get away! You’re mine forever!” Jeremy was peppering kisses wherever he could reach, giggling as he went. Eventually, he pulled Michael over so he was lying partially on top of Jeremy, still wrapped in his arms. “Now you’re all mine.” He giggled, smiling softly.

Michael stared fondly down at Jeremy, unable to help but grin before he pressed a big, wet kiss to his face (not even anywhere in specific, just his whole general face). "And I wouldn't have it any other way."

 

Jeremy giggled again, running his fingers through Michael’s wild hair. Then he paused and cocked his head, thinking.

  
“I can feel I’m about to wake up now, Micah. Time to go,” he murmured, sitting up and pressing a gentle kiss to Michael’s lips. Somehow, the sweet sensation gently pushed Michael back into reality, blinking away sleep as his eyes fluttered open.

 

Michael grumbled at first, because he always did in the morning (read as: Michael Mell is _no_ t a morning person). He clung tighter to Jeremy then, fingers clinging onto his night shirt as he yawned into the folds on his shoulder. "Mm..."

 

Jeremy giggled, the sound slightly blurry with sleep. “What, no reward for waking the sleeping prince with a kiss?” he teased, his voice a little rough. “You need to work on your mornings, love. I don’t know how you ever coped without me...”

  
Still, Jeremy was rubbing his back and playing with his hair. They had a _little_ time to spare before they had to actually get moving, right?

 

Michael just let out a little grunt at that before working and succeeding on pulling the fuzzy sheets up, covering more of the pair. "Y’ruined me, you're too comfy," was the taller of the pair's excuse as he rubbed his face against the fabric of the other's shirt.

 

“Of course it’s my fault. I take full responsibility for making my boyfriend feel comfy and all cuddly. S’not like I love waking up with you to anything. No, I’m just here to make trouble. Take me away, officer! I’m guilty!” Jeremy giggled a little at his own antics, watching Michael with soft eyes. “We do need to get moving soon though. We’re going to need a decent breakfast before we go.”

 

Grumbling against his shirt, Michael glanced up to look at Jeremy with the best 'puppy eyes' he could muster. "But that's _soon_ , not _now_. We can stay here for a bit longer?"

 

Jeremy pouted but nodded. “Fine, but if we get yelled at by Brooke, I’m blaming this all on you. I tried to behave and get up at a reasonable time, but it would be totally unethical for me to leave my boyfriend in bed alone.”

 

"Mm, well it's a good thing _I'm_ the leader and can tell her not to yell," Michael reasoned, though he knew it was flimsy at best, before giving a sleepy smile up at Jeremy.

 

“How you of all people ended up with a morning person, I’ll never know,” Jeremy mused, smiling down at Michael. A quick kiss to his forehead, before he continued. “If you want to get your snuggle on, you’d better start now. We’re on a timer.”

 

Michael didn't even wait for Jeremy to finish, snuggling up close to Jeremy as soon as the word was mentioned. His arms were wrapped around his waist, his head against his chest, and he shut his eyes as he smiled, soothed by the other's heartbeat. "Mm..."

 

Apparently, Jeremy knew exactly what Michael was thinking. “I love you too, Michael. So damned much.”

 

  
  
A few hours later found the boys sitting in the mine, being fussed over by Brooke and Jenna as they changed their appearance. Jeremy’s face was being made to look rounder, softer, while Michael’s was being shaped to be more angular. All of this was being done with powders. “This is really amazing, I thought you would have like, potions or something to change how we look but no, it’s just makeup!” Jeremy babbled happily as Brooke shaped his eyebrow.

 

"I mean yeah, but potions like that take a long time and, depending on how potent it is, can be very finicky with how long they last and how well they work. Makeup is a lot easier, honestly," Brooke explained as she finished shaking his brows before moving to finish softening up his features as well. "Plus, this is really fun to get to do on others!"

 

“Well make up is a foreign concept to me anyways. So knowing you can change the dynamics of someone’s face using a little bit of colour? It’s amazing!” Michael sometimes forgot that Jeremy hadn’t grown up on the Outside like he had, he had taken to the life so naturally. It was easy to believe he had always been there, except when he got excited like this.

 

"Yeah, it really is amazing," Brooke agreed, grinning down at Jeremy while Michael glanced up at Jenna with a playful pout.

 

"Are you having fun doing my makeup too, Jen?"

 

“Shut up, Mikey. You’re fidgeting too much,” she grumbled, pinching his arm playfully. Jeremy’s shoulders shook in a silent laugh, but Michael watched as his face remained still. Brooke giggled along too. “S’what you get for being late, Mikey,” she teased.

 

"Hey, no fair, you didn't even answer my question," Michael teased back, pouting in time to get another pinch before he went back to a neutral position.

 

Jenna sighed heavily. “Fine, yes I am enjoying it. And I expect to be allowed to do it for you again, but this time with sparkly eyeshadow and red lipstick.” Michael heard Jeremy suck in a shocked breath, and he darted his eyes over to him. His eyes were wide, and Michael could make out a blush underneath the foundation. Feeling the bond a little, Michael could feel... that Jeremy liked the idea of him in makeup? Interesting.

 

"Fine, as long as I look pretty," Michael agreed before sending a quick smile to Jeremy, sure not to do it for too long to get pinched again (while he loved Jenna, those pinches really hurt).

 

“You always look pretty, Micah,” Jeremy cooed, earning him a pinch from Brooke. “Hey! Ow!” He grumbled, keeping his face forwards and neutral again, the playful frustration gleaming in his eyes.

  
Once the makeup was done, they had to get dressed. Jeremy was in his old clothes (they were looking a little tight on him, which was awesome. He wasn’t so painfully thin anymore, most of the bulk was from muscles anyway) while Michael had been given a white shirt, black pants and a simple grey blazer. It wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the world, but it fit well. Jeremy had done a really good job on these. Speaking of, he was fussing over Michael’s collar. “You need to make sure everything it perfect, not a crease out of place. Good. Now, show me how you walk on the Inside. Go.” When he was focused, Jeremy could be a decent leader.

 

Michael went and walked as Jeremy wanted, making sure he did it exactly as he had been taught. He was at least familiar with it from when it was still so ingrained in Jeremy's own walking patterns, so it wasn't too hard to mimic.

 

“Good, you’ll fool people from a distance anyway. You need to keep your back a little tighter if you want to fool people up close.” Jeremy sighed and fiddled with the lapels of Michael’s blazer. “You ready for this?”

 

Michael looked down at Jeremy, giving him a soft smile before lifting his hand and pressing a kiss to his knuckles (if he tried to kiss Jeremy anywhere near or on his face, he knew both Jenna and Brooke would be after metaphorical blood). "As ready as I'll ever be. And you?"

 

“This gets me one step closer to getting rid of him. I’ve never been more ready in my life.” Jeremy’s eyes were steely and determined and Michael could only sense strength coming through the bond.

 

"Well, I'm glad you two are ready," Jenna interrupted, "Because we need to get going, especially if we're going to get back before dark to clean you guys up and then all be able to go back in time to eat dinner."

 

“Let’s go.” Jeremy nodded, leading the team over to where he knew the breach was. The entrance to the old sewers was right by it, unsealed after weeks of work. “Remember, you go straight ahead, turn right at the first crossroads, then get out at the first manhole. It’s behind a factory, so no one should be there for a few hours at least. We have until 4 to do this.” Jeremy recited the details like he was reading them, precise and factual. Michael knew that meant he was nervous.

 

Reaching over, Michael gently grabbed Jeremy's hand, giving it a firm squeeze. "We'll be fine, I promise you," Michael reassured him, kissing his hand once more before getting up and following Jeremy's directions once entering the old sewer.

  
It didn't smell as bad as he thought, nor really smelled much at all. Did the work they do on it really make it have no odor? How was that possible? After shaking that out of his head, though, Michael made his way to the first manhole he saw after the first crossroads. He lifted the top open after climbing up a ladder, being sure no one was nearby before climbing up and putting the cover back on before looking around.

 

The world was grey. If it wasn’t for the clear, blue sky, Michael would have expected a desaturation spell. But no, everything was just... different shades of grey. Grey walls, grey floor, grey lamp posts. He needed to look around though, to check and make sure it was safe to bring Jeremy. He followed his directions to the side of the factory and worked to control his emotions, making his face blank.

 

Michael looked around though, and saw no other signs of life besides himself. Keeping himself blank still, he did another sweep or two to be sure, but there wasn't anyone around. He kept relief from showing, whether it be by body language or in his facial expression, before he contacted Jeremy through their bond and went back to get him when he came through the sewer.

 

Jeremy’s head popped out of the hole about two minutes later, his hair looking surprisingly neat. The moment he had stood up and straightened his clothes, Jeremy’s expression fell black and his posture returned to perfect. He didn’t say a word, barely even made a sound. Was... this how Jeremy had actually spent his life? In this stiff silence? Michael couldn’t focus on that right now, he followed Jeremy into the factory, heading up the manager’s entrance. According to what Jeremy had told them, it should be clear until 3:00 PM.

 

Michael did his best to not let any of his anxieties seep through as he followed, trying to recall Jeremy’s ability to keep himself calm as he took mental notes of the surrounding area. He tried his best to make it look like he actually belonged here in case anyone happened to pop in.

 

Jeremy held up a hand to stop Michael, peeking out of a door. The sound of machines working and liquids sloshing filled the room, and Michael knew that if they were quiet, they could talk in here. “This is a shots factory, they make the shots for the whole sector except the specialised ones I was on,” Jeremy explained, eyes roaming around the factory floor. Suddenly he froze, and Michael quickly tried to sneak a peek at what he saw. Michael barely had time to register two figures who looked like they were wreathed in fire before he was pulled back.

  
“You do _not_ want to look in there right now, Micah. I can’t promise even I’ll be able to keep you calm if you do.” Jeremy looked beyond shaken but he was holding firm.

 

Michael, who felt his gut churning at what he already got a glance of, just nodded to that. Even if he was curious, he trusted Jeremy. Through their bond, Michael sent some calming and soothing energy through, knowing that Jeremy definitely needed some right now.

 

“Help me find the time shift documents, then we can get out of here.” Jeremy indicated to the desk, and slowly took a step forwards on shaking legs.  


With a quick nod, Michael quickly started to look through the drawers. It didn't take him long to find the papers they needed, handing them over to Jeremy since he would easily remember the information before he put it back. "Let's get going," he told him, voice calm yet soft before he walked out with Jeremy, reinstating the trained 'perfection' from before, hoping that it had been enough time for Jeremy to calm down enough to walk back without any suspicion.

 

Even with the traces of panic soaking through him, Jeremy composed himself perfectly, even quicker than Michael had done. Within minutes, they had slipped out of the factory and into the sewers once more. A couple minutes more and they were back in the forests, a much more comfortable location for everyone.

 

As soon as they were back and out of the Inside, Michael reached a hand out to Jeremy, not wanting to touch him if it would freak him out. "Jere, how are you feeling?" Even if the girls were looking at them with concern, he would address them after he was sure Jeremy was alright.

 

“I’m fine. It’s just that... my friend... Rich. He was there. He must have moved sectors or something because he wasn’t supposed to be there.” Jeremy took a deep breath. “He’s got witch blood though, I’m certain of it. He’s got such a bright soul I’m surprised I never recognized it before… And _she_ wasn’t supposed to be there either. I guess she was just collecting the base for the custom shots but still. She shouldn’t have been there either.” Jeremy was rambling with no filter, no thoughts for what he was saying. He was just doing a verbal dump.

 

Although he had no clue exactly who he was referring to, Michael reached over and wrapped his arm around his shoulder, rubbing up-and-down his arm. These didn't happen often, but it was better to just let him get it all out and be by him in case he got himself too worked up. The two other girls just nodded along, Jenna taking out her tablet and typing down whatever useful information he was giving through his word-dump.

 

“They were both so powerful. I mean, I suspected considering that I was able to see their souls sometimes even when I didn’t understand, they were so bright. Not as bright as me and Micah, but not far off...” Jeremy took a gasping breath, eyes unfocused as his mouth worked overtime. “And I know that I could probably contact them because they’ve both got such strong witch blood, but should I risk it when they’ve both got the shot? I mean, he’s just a normal but I’m pretty certain she’s a custom because of how strong she is, y’know?” Jeremy slowed down to a stop, blinking rapidly. Brooke was looking between Jeremy and Michael, looking a little pale. Apparently something Jeremy had said had struck a chord somehow.

 

Michael looked over at her with concern, mouthing out, 'Talk later,' before focusing back down on Jeremy. He kept rubbing in that same pattern before leaning down and looking him in the eyes. "How're you feeling? Any better?"

 

Jeremy blinked once, twice, then nodded slowly. His brain tended to get overloaded so these random dumps tended to help. “I’m fine. Let’s get back to the base?” he suggested, a small shaky smile on his lips.

 

Michael just nodded, and watched as Jenna started to lead the way back. As they started to walk, he looked down to Jeremy and held his arms out in offering. "I can carry you if you need me to."

 

Go back even a month and Jeremy would have tried to tough it out. However, he had grown enough now that he felt no shame in nodded and holding his arms open to wrap around Michael’s shoulders. “Feel really tired. Think going back there made me tired,” he mumbled, tucking himself into Michael’s neck.

 

"That makes sense, it brings back bad memories and it's overwhelming for you," Michael told him before picking him up, his arms under his legs and holding him up and close to him before he started to walk back to the base with the girls. "I'll carry you back home too, and you can just rest on the couch for a bit while I make dinner, yeah?"

 

“M’kay. Can I nap here too? With you? You’re so warm, Micah. Warm ‘n safe.” Jeremy’s words were becoming slurred and Michael knew he would be out in seconds. The base was at least an hour’s hike from here. It couldn’t hurt, could it?

 

"Yeah, of course," Michael reassured him, pressing a soft kiss to his temple- hey, he didn't have to worry about the makeup now, so this was fine. "I'll wake you up when we're close, OK?"

 

“M’kay.” And within seconds Jeremy was gone, out like a light.  


A sigh passed Michael's lips as he rested his head against Jeremy's before glancing over at Brooke. "What did he say that made you pale, Brooke?"

 

“You’re not gonna like it,” Brooke stated and suddenly Michael had a very good idea of who it was Jeremy had seen, the same person from that conversation months ago. He swallowed heavily.

 

“Tell me anyway.”

 

Brooke took a shaky breath. “It was her, your mama. He told me that he had seen what looked like fire around her during one of my lessons. It was his abilities trying to fight the shot. That’s the only she he could have been talking about...” She paused, a strange emotion passing over her face. “He didn’t let you look, did he? He was protecting you even as he was breaking down from it.” Brooke’s tone was fond but exasperated.

 

"I... that makes sense. I only saw a glance of them, and it looked like they had fire around them, the both of 'em," Michael told her, a shaking sigh passing his lips. "I..." He felt himself have to breathe deeply a few times to keep himself in the present before glancing back over at Brooke. "I wouldn't have been able to stay calm if I'd seen her..."

 

“That’s why he wouldn’t let you look, no matter how hard you would have theoretically pushed. Jerry protects you as much as you protect him these days,” she mused, probably thinking of her and Chrissy’s relationship.

 

"He does," Michael agreed, a faint smile on his lips as he looked down at Jeremy's sleeping form. "It definitely reminds me of Chrissy when she's trying to help keep you safe, with how she tries to do it compared to Jeremy at least."

 

“They’re very similar like that. It’s probably why I’ve ended up so close to Jeremy these past few months. He feels like a little brother, y’know? Well, _obviously_ you don’t, he’s your boyfriend, but he feels like family. Has for ages now.” Brooke chuckled at her own ramble, caught Michael to snort a little.

 

"I mean, I would seriously hope he wasn't like that for me," Michael said after calming himself down. "I do understand the meaning through, on getting close since we've met him. I mean, I got really close to you guys quick, but Jeremy's... he's on his own level, y'know?"

 

“I get what you mean. He just... clicked,” Jenna piped up from behind, still on her tablet.

 

Brooke nodded. “I think it’s because he still somehow managed to be such a genuinely nice person even after everything he’s been through. Most people would break or give up, but Jeremy fought on and kept being a nice person regardless.” There was a hint of pride in Brooke’s voice, and an echo of agreement from Jenna.

 

"Yeah, for sure. It's like all the pieces of the puzzle finally fit together and he was the one missing," he elaborated as he quickly shifted how he was holding Jeremy so it was more comfortable and less of a strain on his muscles.

 

Jeremy stirred a little at the moment, arms tightening and his nose scrunching up ever so slightly. Then he relaxed again, nuzzling into Michael’s neck with a sigh. Everyone chucked at his adorable behavior.

 

Michael just smiled, resting his head atop Jeremy's before glancing at the girls. "Yeah, I'm really glad he's here now, especially after seeing just a bit of what it's like in there. It's... so drained and devoid of life, and everything except the sky is in shades of grey. It's... it's so devoid of life and _anything_."

 

Brooke shivered. “Sounds scary. And I’ll bet it was freaky when Jerry had to act like a Controlled, I barely could deal with it when I saw you guys practicing in your normal clothes,” she confessed. “I mean, the place, the clothes and everything would have just been... I don’t know...”

 

Michael just nodded to that as he held Jeremy just a little closer. "It... it was hard to see Jeremy walking around like that, really. Jeremy was helping me a little to keep calm, I think, but that'll all be gone soon."

 

“Yeah, we’re gonna make sure no one else will ever be caught there ever again.” Broke cheered quietly, “We’ll make sure he doesn’t have to live like that again ever. That’s a promise, Mikey.”

 

Again, he nodded as he looked down at the boy in his arms. "Never will he be stuck there again. I promised him that, and you know I never break them."

 

Suddenly, Jeremy screeched and started flailing in Michael’s grip. His eyes were wide and his breathing too heavy to be healthy. He literally woke into a panic attack!

 

Michael stopped near instantly, carefully moving the two of them down to sit on the ground as he started to carefully comfort him, his hand held out for Jeremy to grab when he was ready to. "It's OK, just focus on taking deep breaths in... and out... Can you do that with me?"

 

Jeremy was gasping for breath but he seemed to lock onto Michael’s voice. His wide eyes were unseeing, but his head turned in Michael’s direction. His breathing slowed a little.

 

Michael purposefully exaggerated his breathing, trying to encourage Jeremy to follow in his steed and do the same. "Like this, yeah? Can you do it with me?"

 

Jeremy tried, taking in a breath, then losing it half a second later. Still, he tried and tried and slowly his breathing slowed to less dangerous level. Shakily, he reached for Michael’s hand.

 

Michael just continued to breathe along with Jeremy, taking a gentle hold of the other's hand before gently squeezing it in time with the breathing, squeezing as he inhaled and slowly releasing as he exhaled.

 

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Jeremy’s breathing fell back to a normal state. His face was a mess, tears cutting through the makeup and smearing it around and though his breathing was back under control, Jeremy’s eyes were still full of panic. “M-Micah. He- he knows I’m alive. He k-knows I’m s-s-somewhere.”

 

It took only a few moments for him to know what Jeremy meant. Instead of voice any of his concern and worry for now, as this was not the time nor place, Michael went and used his other hand to run through his hair, attempting to soothe him from his panic. "Just because he knows doesn't mean we'll let him get to you. I promised you that you aren't going to be stuck in there again, like how you were before, and I intend on keeping that promise."

 

“But Micah, he was _there_. In the dreamscape! He was there...” Jeremy trailed off into sobs, repeating what he said over and over again. He sounded so lost and scared.

 

Michael could tell that he wasn't the only one freaked out at this point, but the girls kept their composure well. "Well, next time we sleep, I'll be there with you and I won't let him be there, OK? Do you trust me?"

 

Jeremy kept sobbing, but he nodded. He _did_ trust Michael, with everything he had.

 

After that, Michael just continued to sit there for however long he needed for Jeremy to finally calm down. He was glad that they left earlier than intended though, as it was starting to get dark as Jeremy was calm. "You feeling any better?" he asked, voice soft and gentle as he twirled some of Jeremy's curls in between his fingers.

 

Jeremy nodded, not trusting his voice. It was all worn and scratchy from his panic attack earlier. Michael knew Jeremy hated taking after one. He leant into the gentle touch in his hair, eyes closed a little.

 

“Would it be OK for me to pick you up and take you back?" he asked this time, willing to wait until Jeremy was able to be moved.

 

Again, Jeremy nodded. He looked tired but alright for the most part, all traces of panic gone from his system.

 

With that, Michael picked Jeremy up in his arms, bridal-style, and started to walk back. He had Jenna and Brooke go back already, so they would be ready to quickly get them out of their makeup and help them change so he could walk right back home with Jeremy.

 

Jeremy didn’t fight at all when they wiped the makeup off his face. He didn’t even flinch when he stripped off his shirt with everyone there to see, apparently too tired to even care. And once he was in his normal clothes again, he leaned heavily on Michael, barely supporting his own weight.

 

Jenna and Brooke looked concern as Michael, now changed into his hoodie and normal clothes, picked Jeremy up and held him close. He just smiled faintly and mouthed his thanks to them before hurrying back to the village. Even if Jeremy was tired, he would need to eat before they went to bed, as he had to be exhausted from their mission and now the attack, especially since they hadn't properly eaten since their hardy breakfast.

 

As soon as they were home, Michael set Jeremy down on the couch and grabbed his blanket, wrapping him up in the comfort of his first real possession. He had never been more grateful for his mom’s absence than he was that night.

 

"I'm going to be in the kitchen making dinner, so I'll be in your line of sight the entire time," Michael told him, running his fingers through Jeremy's hair for a few moments before placing a tender kiss to his forehead. "If you need me, just call for me or say my name or something, alright?"

 

Jeremy nodded, and he would have looked totally blank if Michael didn’t know what to look for, how to spot Jeremy’s tremors in his shoulders and the way his eyes darted around slightly. He was exhausted but also still scared. But he trusted Michael enough to let him leave his side.

 

Once he was sure it was alright to, Michael went into the kitchen. He wanted to be quick so he could be right back with Jeremy, but they needed a hearty meal. With that in mind, Michael made one of Jeremy’s favorites and cut some bread for them, eventually coming back out with two full plates. “Hey, it’s me, I have dinner. Can you eat, or do you need me to help?”

 

Jeremy held out his hand slightly. The subtle shaking had stopped at least. “I can eat.” His voice was rough but he sounded a lot more sure. Michael handed over the plates and they began eating. Jeremy relaxed even more, his posture slouching more from exhaustion than fear once again. And, as always, he let out the occasional little sound as he ate once he was more comfortable. He really still loved Michael’s cooking the most.

 

Michael stayed right by his side, eating his food as he watched Jeremy to make sure he was OK. Once he was sure that he could, Michael told Jeremy what he was going to do before getting up and getting them glasses of apple cider, a drink they only rarely got, especially since it wasn’t apple season yet. He came out with the glasses, putting them back down before settling tight beside Jeremy on the couch, continuing to eat and watch. “If you finish and want more, let me know and I’ll get some for you, OK?”  


Jeremy nodded and took a slow sip from his glass. His eyes widened in surprise as he took a proper mouthful, turning to look at Michael. “What _is_ this?” he asked, appreciation coating his still rough voice. Oh yeah, Jeremy himself hadn’t had any before, it had been too far out of season to get hold of much.

 

“It’s called apple cider,” Michael informed him. “It’s made from a fruit, an apple, and they mush it and make what they call apple sauce from it, which we can eat. They squeezed the apple sauce though and made it into a drink, which is this.” He raised his own glass then and drank some of it. “It tastes good heated up too, but we can do that a different night. D’you like it?”

 

Jeremy nodded, looking more and more present and relaxed. “I really do. It’s sort of sweet but without being too sweet.” Jeremy slowly finished off his meal and his drink, not asking for any more. It seemed to be more from the fact that he looked about ready to collapse by the time he finished eating than from lack of interest.

 

Michael smiled down at the other, an arm slowly looping around his shoulder as he started to rub up-and-down his arm like earlier. “I need to clean up, so would you rather me bring you to bed and meet you up there after or bring us both up after I finish cleaning?”

 

“I think I wanna go to bed now. Meet me up there when you’re done? And you can come into my dreamscape when you’re asleep,” Jeremy mumbled, burrowing down in his blanket a bit. His big eyes were droopy with exhaustion, but he seemed happy and relaxed at least.

 

Nodding at that, the taller of the pair scooped the other up in his arms, bringing him to his bed and lying him down before pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I love you so much Jere, I’ll see you soon,” he promised him, going downstairs and quickly cleaning up everything.

 

It took him longer than he would have liked, but he didn’t want to leave a mess. Michael wouldn’t admit out loud that he was sad his mom wasn’t there by the time he finished putting everything away, so he didn’t as he went back up the stairs, got changed, and curled up into bed with Jeremy before falling asleep himself.

 

 

He slipped into the dreamscape without too many problems this time, but was worried when he found it already active. Jeremy stood frozen in the middle of the area, the soft colors of the clouds turning to grey. A man who Michael didn’t recognize stood in front of Jeremy, smiling cockily down at him. Michael had never seen Jeremy look so scared in his life. He went to run to him, to call out, but found himself frozen and mute. He couldn’t do _anything_ but watch as the scene played out. “I’ll admit, Jeremiah, you have surprised me. I was certain that the Outsider boy would have murdered you by now.”

 

The man chuckled, and Jeremy flinched. Something blazed in his eyes though, overtaking the fear ever so slightly. “He would never hurt me. Unlike you and your _perfect_ society who literally tortured me,” Jeremy spat.

 

Michael couldn’t help but feel pride swell up in his chest at Jeremy’s bravery, and he tries to figure out who this person was by the conversation until it hit him. ‘ _The SQUIP_?!’ Once he realized that, even if Jeremy was doing well despite his fear, Michael tries his best and hardest to move, to yell, to do _anything_.

 

“It is almost perfect. There are still a few details that need to be sorted out still, but we’re getting close.” The SQUIP slowly started circling Jeremy who, despite his bravery, was rooted to the spot with fear. “You know, you called it home once.”

 

Jeremy was shaking but he didn’t back down. Michael could feel through the bond that Jeremy was thinking about him to keep himself brave, even as he remained ignorant to Michael’s own struggle. “Yeah and then I found a real one, far away from you.”

 

Despite being unable to physically do anything, Michael tried to push as much support and love through their bond. If he was stuck to the sidelines, the least he could do was give Jeremy support as best he can to help him literally face his demon that haunted him.

 

“Don’t you care about your friends, Jeremiah?” the SQUIP asked, his tone hurt. “They’ve all been thinking about you, especially Richard. Why else would he, who has worked in a factory for so long, have the accident which rendered him unconscious? Burn his entire body? He was feeling, missing you and thinking too much about you. If you had stayed home, it never would have happened.”

 

Jeremy staggered slightly, his expression torn. He must know it wasn’t true, but a part of him obviously believed it. Like he had thought about it before. Still, Michael’s support must have been doing _something_ because Jeremy recovered quicker than he normally would have. “If he were allowed to feel normally it wouldn’t have been an issue. And it’s Jeremy, not Jeremiah.”

 

From the sidelines, Michael mentally cheered him on. Yes, he was doing it! He still continued to pour his love and support through the bond, hoping he could keep helping Jeremy as best as he could, even if he was physically and verbally frozen in place.

 

Small tendrils of bluey black smoke seemed to pour off the SQUIP whenever he was out of Jeremy’s line of sight. They curled up and started digging into Jeremy’s head, but he seemed unaware of them at all. “You miss it, don’t you? The certainty, the comfort, the never never needing to worry,” the SQUIP mused, his expression shifting from thoughtful to victorious. He was smirking.

 

Jeremy swayed slightly on the spot, shaking his head sleepily. “No. Don’t miss it at all. Wanna stay home with Micah. You can’t take me back.”

 

Panic started to fill Michael at seeing this, and he tried even harder than before to scream out to Jeremy. All of the energy he could give was being pushed through their bond to keep Jeremy from falling prey to whatever the SQUIP was doing. ‘ _Fight it Jeremy, I know you can_! _Please_!’

 

Jeremy didn’t stop his slow sway, but he did shake his head more violently, eyes clearing a little. The SQUIP laughed. “Oh, so you’ve actually grown a backbone. Or you found someone with one anyway, you’re incapable of standing up for yourself otherwise. Not against me, not against your neighbors, not even against your mother when she beat you. You should come back, you’ll never need to worry about that ever again once you’re a Brain. Or better yet, you could give yourself over entirely to me, become my new host. Then not only will people never hurt you, everyone else will love you. ” The SQUIP brushed his hand along Jeremy’s back, and Jeremy straightened back to perfect posture as if shocked. Michael knew he wasn’t but Jeremy _acted_ like he was.

 

“I won’t go back! I won’t! I don’t wanna go back, I wanna be me. Don’t wanna be you or even a part of you!” Jeremy’s protests were mumbled but firm.

 

Watching all of this go down hurt, but he still had to keep going to try to help Jeremy fight back. He was still going, he still had a chance! Even if it seemed grim, Michael kept on believing and sending his fighting spirit and everything he could through the bond, even if it wasn’t the best to send all of his feelings through. Well, he felt a lot, and if Jeremy could feel all his emotions and fight again, it would be worth it. ‘ _No, don’t ever become a part of him_! _You can get away from him Jere, just use my strength and my emotions to break free_!’

 

“Yes you do, Jeremy. You want to come back so you stop hurting so much, don’t you? So you stop feeling like burden, like someone who doesn’t really belong. You feel so sad because you are different from everyone else, no one else is as broken as you are. If you want that to stop, all you have to do is come home,” the SQUIP hissed, and Jeremy had started crying somewhere along the way.

 

He was shaking his head, even as it bowed. “Liar. I feel good too. Most of the time I feel good. Bit of bad doesn’t mean give up.” He was sniffling but still somehow holding firm. “I don’t wanna go back. I don’t wanna go back. I- I- don’t...”

 

Michael could feel himself feeling a bit less than normal, but that was alright if he could keep Jeremy from succumbing to the SQUIP. ‘ _Jeremy, I promised you on my life that you would never go back! I did, and I never break my promises! You’re strong and loved and everyone cares about you! You **are** home, you belong here and are so important!_’ He pushed his emotions as much as he could into that, pushing all of what he felt and thought through their bond. It left him feeling... a lot more vacant, but if Jeremy was OK, it was worth this new feeling that he didn’t like.

 

“I don- I- i- wanna. I wanna...go...back?” Jeremy sounded confused and sleepy, like his brain couldn’t keep up anymore. “I wanna... go back...” His eyes lost their shine and his body seemed to relax into the overly stiff posture more.

 

“That’s right, Jeremy. You do, don’t you? You want to come back. But you have to do it soon before this all wears off or else you won’t be able to.” The SQUIP’s voice was as close to soothing as it could get, and Jeremy just sort of stood there, swaying and mumbling to himself about how he wanted to go back.

 

“Now, as much as I appreciate a good show, and that was a rather fun one, you made that a lot harder than it had to be.” The SQUIP suddenly turned on heel and was facing Michael, looked directly at him. He felt his body gain its movement back and his voice unlock.

 

Facing the sudden intensity of the SQUIP straight-on, along with the more hollow feeling from giving so much emotion and feeling to Jeremy with it seemingly just being... sucked away, made him stumble back. He still had some fight left in him, even if it wasn’t much, especially compared to how he normally was. This was a dangerous position, especially when his only ally was out for the count. “There’s no way I’m going to let anything be easy for _you_.” Somehow, he managed to put spite and bite into what he was saying, and if he could feel it right now (not being able to feel like he normally did was so new and he _hated_ it), he would be prideful.

 

“Well, it seems the little bird has some fight in him after all. And here I thought all the talk of how the ‘Red Robin’ was simply sensationalism from the guards.” The SQUIP started circling Michael now. Wait, when did he get close enough to do that? “Yes, I know all about your rebels’ names, except Jeremy’s of course, but he doesn’t have one yet, does he? And I know you have Jason Heere. Such a shame, he was such a good worker. At least his son will be coming home soon enough.”

 

He did his best to glare at the SQUIP as he circled around him, though he wasn’t even sure how much emotion was being put into it. It was like the SQUIP was sucking away his emotions and keeping them and the feeling once he gave them out. “He isn’t coming ‘home,’ he’s staying with me. I refuse to let him go back alone to you!” His brain couldn’t truly register everything he was saying right now, but his brain stuck to the most important detail: Jeremy, and keeping him with himself.

 

“Then don’t let him come alone. Look at him, he obviously wants to go back.” Jeremy’s mutterings were accompanied with a small smile how, he looked almost like he was floating in a sea of bliss. “So come with him. You make him stronger, so you could stay with him always. You’d never need to be apart.” It made a sick sort of sense, and a part of Michael’s brain registered that. “You’ll even get to be with you mama again. She’s missed you so much, you know,” the SQUIP whispered.

 

He shook his head then, trying to remember and clear his head of what the SQUIP was telling him. “No, he can’t go back t’you-“ Why was he slurring his words suddenly? “-because I promised him that he’d never go back to you!” All of the anger and passion he put into that suddenly slipped away, and he knew it was bad, but with feeling so little, he didn’t know if it really was bad that he wasn’t feeling those things. It was bad, right? After all, they had been in words, that feeling and passion.  


There was a pause in the incessant muttering from the behind the SQUIP. Suddenly it was like the clouds began to pulse and crackle with power. The SQUIP turned around, surprised. Jeremy stood, face furious, legs braced apart, and arms out as if he were commanding the clouds. “Micah stays,” he growled. “I can go back but Micah stays.” There was a sudden burst of silence, as if all the sound had been sucked out of the world, and then a nearly deafening crash and the sound of glass breaking, the dreamscape shattering into blackness and forcing Michael back into reality.

 

 

Michael shot up so fast when he was forced back into reality, gasping for air as he held onto his chest. He ran his other hand through his hair as he calmed his breathing, though he couldn’t feel much else besides his calming and lingering worry, which should have scared him. He felt... empty, though not completely.

 

Not knowing what to pin it on, his head aching a bit, he turned to look over at Jeremy as he finally placed that the worry was for him. “Jeremy?” he asked, voice soft as he reached the hand that had been in his hair over and gently shook his shoulder.

 

“I’ave t’go b’ck,” Jeremy mumbled, before his eyes fluttered open. For a second, he re-orientated himself, then turned his head up. He looked at Michael with a questioning gaze, brows furrowed. “I have to go back, don’t I Micah? But now I don’t think I want to. But I do want to, don’t I?” His voice was quiet, confused, and he kept staring at Michael as if he were trying to figure out a hard puzzle.

 

Michael had no clue what Jeremy was talking about. If he could feel confused right now, he would, but he couldn’t for some reason. It should’ve worried him, but his worry was still focused down at Jeremy, so he couldn’t. “Go back? No, y’need to stay here. We need to sleep,” Michael told him around a yawn before he wrapped his arms around Jeremy, holding him close. “We should be sleepin’ right now.”

 

“No, I have to go back... and you need to stay! Micah! You need to stay!” Jeremy gasped and it was suddenly like he had figured it out. “You were helping me so much, Micah. He would have gotten me properly if it weren’t for you.” Jeremy pressed a kiss to Michael’s cheek, then frowned. “You gave me you strength there, didn’t you?”

  
Jeremy huffed, pouting a little. “You should know better than to do that, Micah. Especially when dealing with something like that! Here, let me help you a little.” Jeremy pressed another small kiss to Michael’s cheek, and Michael felt a little happiness flood his system where the was none before.

 

Even if he had no idea what Jeremy was talking about, he smiled as he leaned into the kiss before resting his head against Jeremy’s shoulder. “Mm... thank you for t’kiss, but we need to sleep now,” he told Jeremy before pressing a sleepy kiss to his shoulder. “‘S late.”

 

“Okay, Micah. Let’s sleep for now... I-I can go in the morning.” Jeremy nodded, before pressing a few more quick kisses to Michael’s cheeks. More warmth and happiness spread throughout Michael and chased him into a sweet sleep.


	11. Leaking Into Reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK... this chapter isn't going to be fun for anyone, FYI. Neither will the next one, but /this/ one is going to be really rough. When I reread this to beta, I literally said 'oof' multiple times out loud.  
> Thank you guys for so much support, it's hard to think this is halfway done! Love you all so much!  
> To wrap this up, our wonderful words from Mara:
> 
> 'Thank you all so much for over 500 hits!!!  
> . . .  
> . . .  
> Sorry............... >;3c'

Whatever Jeremy had been talking about was forgotten that morning, and he and Michael continued along their day as normal. Michael felt a bit off though at the start of the mornings for the next few days though, and it was coming up to almost a week after this oddness started that Michael recognized it.

  
“‘M not remembering any of my dreams,” Michael thought out loud that evening of the seventh night after this all started, when he started waking up, unable to remember a single dream. He was sitting at the counter of the kitchen’s island, a stool there as he was working on reading through and writing some notes on something Jeremy gave to him. He set down the paper, frowning down at it as he finally pinned down what had been bugging him for the past week. “Normally I remember at least one every morning, but I haven’t been able to remember a single one.”

 

Jeremy looked up from the notes he was writing, frowning. “That’s kinda strange, neither have I. And I have had the weirdest feeling all week. Like... I’m restless.” He set down his pencil, sitting back and looking up at Michael.

 

Glancing over at the other, Michael hummed in thought before looking back down at his notes, bouncing his pencil by the eraser end against the counter-top. “Yeah, I get that.” He tried to think long and hard about why this was happening before letting out a defeated sigh and resting his head in his now-crossed arms. “Maybe it’s ‘cause of the mission from last week? And we’re still freaked out and stressed from it? It’s the only thing I could think of,” he admitted as he looked up at his boyfriend, a small pout on his lips.

 

“Probably. I’m also still kinda worried about Rich. The fact that the accident knocked him out enough to enter the dreamscape means it was pretty bad,” Jeremy mused, tapping his pencil absentmindedly. “I’m half tempted to sneak back in just to check on him, if I’m honest. He was my best friend back there.”

 

Michael nodded in understanding, though it just meant that he was rubbing his cheek against his arms. “Mm, well maybe we could try to go to bed early? We ate dinner a bit earlier, and we could just make our tea and go to bed. I can be in there with you and Rich, just to be sure and help?”

 

“Sounds good, love. You brew the tea, I’ll clean this lot up before Mom gets home.” Some time after they had started dating, Michael’s mom insisted Jeremy call her Mom as well. Jeremy had never looked so shocked or so happy. Jeremy scooped the papers up and tottered off to their room.

 

Michael just hummed in response, getting himself out of the stool as Jeremy went off. He grabbed the kettle and everything else he needed to make their tea and ended up pouring themselves each a steaming mug of it as Jeremy returned. “For you,” Michael said around a hum, handing Jeremy his mug and saucer before taking his own and starting to drink. He found that this habit was helping him out, helping to ease him into sleep sooner like it did with Jeremy.

 

“Thank you, my good sir.” Jeremy giggled, winking at Michael in response. He looked pretty tired, if Michael was being honest, and he didn’t look like he’d last too long after the tea. But it was weird, he knew Jeremy had been sleeping. Normally, if he woke up, it would wake Michael up too. He pondered as to why Jeremy looked so exhausted and couldn’t come up with anything at all.

 

Michael just winked in response, smiling around the rim of his teacup. As he drank, he felt his exhaustion really hit him. He had been really tired too, even though he had been sleeping. Was he just really stressed and it was ruining his sleep schedule and everything? Maybe that was happening for both of them... Honestly, he couldn’t think too long on it, as he wasn’t even halfway done with his tea yet and was already yawning.

 

“Micah. I’m really sleepy. Can we just go to bed? I don’t think I can finish my tea...” Jeremy whined, swaying on his feet a little from exhaustion. It made Michael feel a little uncomfortable, but he couldn’t place why. Instead, he just scooted closer, wrapping an arm around him and holding him steady.  
  


“Yeah, ‘course we can. I can’t finish my tea either,” he told him before placing a kiss to the top of his head. “Just stay awake with me until we’re in bed.” Michael was thankful they changed into their pajamas earlier because he knew there would be no way for them to change into them now with how tired they were.

 

Jeremy stumbled a number of times, as though he was falling asleep on his feet. Michael hadn’t seen Jeremy so sleepy since he had first arrived, and his magic was draining him to the point of passing out. The moment they reached the bed, Jeremy was asleep, not even having a chance to get under the covers.

 

Michael hadn’t remembered the last time he was so tired. He was even having trouble trying to lift the covers up and over them, his head hovering above his pillow. After a few feeble attempts and finally resting his head down on his pillow though, he was out almost instantly, fast asleep with his glasses still on.

 

 

Jeremy was sitting peacefully on the floor of his greyed out dreamscape, eyes dazed and expression placid, like he was meant to be there when he entered the dreamscape. The man who stood over him also looked like he was supposed to be there but he still made Michael’s insides twist with... something. He couldn’t place what. “There you go, Jeremy. Not even an ounce of fight left in you. You’re doing so good.”

 

The way he was talking to Jeremy didn’t make him feel good, and he felt like Jeremy wasn’t supposed to look peaceful like that. Feeling uncomfortable, Michael shifted his focus to the man who he felt like shouldn’t be there. “Hey, who are you? Why are you here?”

 

The man spun around and Michael felt just how wrong it felt for the man to be there, to even be near him or Jeremy. “Ah, there you are Michael. I was wondering how long it would take you to arrive. You’re a little later than normal.” His voice was formal but commanding, he radiated authority but also... _wrongness._

 

He didn’t want to be closer to him, and just this man having his gaze locked on him made him squirm as he stepped back. “Seriously, who the hell are you, and what did you do to Jeremy? What the hell are you talking about?”

 

“I suppose it’s not so surprising you don’t recognize me yet, after all you’ve always been more resistant than Jeremy. As for what I did, I simply reminded him that he wants to come back.” The man smiled, it seeming more like a grin of a shark than anything friendly, and something, a memory, clicked inside Michael’s head.

 

“You... you’re why Jeremy’s been wanting to come back somewhere?” He vaguely remembered waking up, and Jeremy insisting that he needed to _go back_ , and even last time insisting that Michael come too. “And what do you mean by ‘more resistant?’” He took another step back, trying to round himself out and away, to get to where Jeremy was.

 

The man countered his every step, clapping slowly. “Very good, Michael. You’re getting there. Think, where is the only place Jeremy can go back _to_? And as for being more resistant, I mean that your desire to stay has been much stronger than your desire to _behave_. You’re so stubborn.”

 

The first half of what he was saying clicked, and his eyes narrowed (the second half, about ‘behaving,’ made no sense). “Yeah, well I’m not letting you get Jeremy to go back, he’s staying with me,” Michael spat at him. For some reason, this felt... familiar, and he didn’t know why as he felt his anger slowly start to drain out of him. Wait, what?

 

“Of course he’s staying with you, Michael. That’s why he hasn’t left yet. I wouldn’t try to take him from you, ever. What we need is for you to come _with_ him.” The man smiled, and it seemed a lot less threatening now for some reason, even though it hadn’t changed in the slightest.  
  


“Come with? What are you saying? There’s no way I’m leaving,” Michael told him, still slowly trying to make his way to Jeremy. With every step he took though, he felt himself start to feel less worried, less anxious, less... anything. It confused him a bit, and he tried to stop to see if this would go away, but it just increased. He was so focused in on this that he didn’t even realize how close he was to Jeremy.

 

Jeremy apparently did see Michael though, because he looked up with those vacant eyes. “Micah? I gotta go back. I wanna go back. An’ I want you to come with me.” His voice was a monotonous drawl and he was slurring slightly, like he wasn’t fully in control of his words.

 

Michael frowned at that, turning to look at Jeremy. He looked down at him, knowing that this wasn’t how he normally was, he didn’t _talk_ like that and didn’t _look_ like that. “This isn’t Jeremy,” Michael muttered out, as if he knew this from pure instinct because he felt himself becoming... something. He didn’t know what it was, but he felt... Michael didn’t know how to describe it, honestly, this feeling that was overcoming him and starting to take over.

 

“I assure you, it is. Just his truest desires are free to be expressed. He wants to come home, and he wants you to stay with him.” The man was right behind Michael now, whispering into his ear. It made the feeling grow stronger. He wanted to sit down, next to Jeremy and just _be_ but something was stopping him.

 

“B-but... we’re supposed t’stay,” he slurred out, and he could vaguely feel his legs trembling, like they wanted to give out and just have him sit down. “I wanna stay w’him, but we aren’t s’posed t’go.” Michael tried to get the man behind him to understand this, something in the back of his head still yelling at him to not just sit and listen, to just _be_.

 

“Why? Why stay when you can _come_ and still be with Jeremy?” he whispered, and honestly it sounded so reasonable. It made sense, Jeremy was going, Michael would go too. They stuck together, no matter what.

 

Still, something in the back of his head was bugging him. “But, we need t’be safe,” Michael slurred out, unsure on why he said it. He knew he believed in it though. “‘N safe is where we are right now...” He didn’t even notice the hesitation in his voice as he felt himself slipping into a void of nothingness, where he wasn’t feeling anything.

 

“And it’s safe with me too. You’ll be together and you’ll be safe. Just give in, Michael. Come with him, come to me,” the man whispered, and Michael found he didn’t have the strength to- to- to do _anything_ anymore. He just wanted to sit and listen.

 

“‘Just have t’give in?” he asked, mind blank as he didn’t even register himself sitting down, nor the man’s hands as he helped ease him to do so. “Where do... do we...” It was getting hard to talk at this point, and he just wanted to not have to. Did he even have to? No, not if he just had to sit and listen. Did he even have to think to do those two things?

 

“Shh, Michael, it’s okay. Jeremy will take you, he’ll bring you to me. You don’t have to even think about it, just take Jeremy's hand and follow him.”

 

“Don’t have t’think?” He felt tongue-tied at this point, like it was too much effort to talk. Was it bad for him to talk? Yeah, he was only supposed to listen, and follow Jeremy.

 

“No you don’t, just listen to me and follow Jeremy...” The man’s voice started to fade out, along with... wherever he and Jeremy were. “I’ll be waiting.”

 

 

Those words repeated in Michael’s head as he blinked, taking in where he was. It wasn’t where he was supposed to be, right? He had to follow Jeremy, no thinking, and to just listen because he was waiting. Turning over in bed, Michael looked over to the waking form of Jeremy expectantly. “‘Need t’follow you,” he managed to get out, slowly sitting up as he waited for Jeremy so he could just take his hand and follow.

 

“Need t’go back…,” Jeremy mumbled, taking Michael’s hand and walking them both out of the room. Vaguely, Michael was aware they were still in their sleep clothes but the thought vanished as soon as it appeared. He didn’t need to think. Just follow Jeremy. They had made it out the house and halfway through the village to the stairs down before they ran into anyone.

  
“Mikey! Jerry! What’s going on you guys?” Jenna was _loud_ , louder than anything he was hearing right then, but it didn’t matter. He didn’t have to listen to her, just follow Jeremy.

 

“Need t’go back,” Jeremy repeated to himself. Michael nodded.

 

“Go back? Where? It’s the middle of the night, and I only caught you two ‘cause I’m walking back from working late.” Her loud voice bothered him, he vaguely noticed, but remembered he only had to listen to _him_ and follow.

  
“‘Back,” was all Jeremy repeated this time, continuing to walk as Michael went with him. Michael just nodded again, as he wasn’t supposed to speak either, he didn’t need to.

 

Jenna froze, eyeing them both carefully, before she started following them, silent. Michael sort of felt awkward, she was watching them so closely, like she was trying to figure out a hard problem. A small burst of... something came off from her, but Michael didn’t care, he didn’t have to. “Guys... you’re scaring me. You’ve got the same feeling on you as someone with an altered mental state. How would that even happen?!” She was whisper-shouting, and she grabbed Jeremy, arms around his chest. He struggled weakly but couldn’t get away. Michael stopped only because Jeremy had stopped.

 

He didn’t do anything, because Jeremy wasn’t leading him so he couldn’t follow. Nothing really went through his head until Jeremy seemed to be listening, but not to Jenna, and looked right at Michael and spoke. “Stop her so you can keep following me.” The fact that Jeremy’s voice sounded different for a split second didn’t bother him, because he didn’t need to think about that. He needed to stop Jenna and keep following Jeremy, like he told him to.

  
“Michael, what-“ Michael grabbed onto Jenna then, covering her mouth with a hand as he tried to get her to let go of Jeremy. Without knowing he was doing it, he stopped her as Jenna seemed to slow in her movements, eventually stopping and letting Jeremy go.

  
He didn’t know what he did, just blinking as Jeremy grabbed his hand like he had before. “Need t’go back,” Jeremy told him, and Michael nodded, uncovering Jenna’s mouth and following Jeremy down and out of the village.

 

He and Jeremy had made it for... a while before anything else happened. He wasn’t sure, he didn’t need to think, he just followed Jeremy. Except suddenly Jeremy was gone, pinned to the ground by... someone. She was pinning Jeremy down, a hand over his mouth, and screeching. Michael just waited, not able to follow Jeremy yet. A pair of arms wrapped around Michael’s waist and a bottle was held under his nose.

 

The smell was intense, and Michael felt himself start to fade.  
  


As he felt himself start to fade, he was barely able to see Jeremy manage to get his mouth free. Before he could listen though, he was no longer conscious.

 

 

He didn’t even dream or see that man again, or... was there even a man? Michael couldn’t remember, and he didn’t know if he would be able to. All he knew when he started to come to was that there was a barely-present feeling that he needed to listen and follow Jeremy. He groaned though, his head aching as he reached up to try to rub his temples.

 

He couldn’t move his hands. They were stuck to a chair, with ropes. “We can’t afford to tie Jeremy up, but we can do it with you.” That sounded like Jenna. Eyes flying open, Michael found himself tied to a chair, the same chair he had tied Jeremy to when he first brought him in. Looking around, Michael saw Jeremy curled up on a pile of blankets, his dad waving a bottle under his nose every now and again. He looked up and saw Jenna, Brooke, and Chrissy (who looked rather messy at that moment) all glaring down at him.

 

Confusion washed over him as he took everything in, though his head still was pounding. “Guys? What’s going on?” Michael asked, more than lost as he tried to make sense of the situation. “Like, why am I tied up, and why are you guys so upset with me?” He looked around once more, brows furrowed in confusion. “And why are we all in our pajamas?”

 

Jenna bent down, staring him straight in the eyes. Michael felt like she was seeing right through him and had to suppress a shiver. “He really doesn’t know, guys. I’m guessing whatever was influencing him has hidden the memories. Whatever it was isn’t in him now.” Michael saw everyone relax a little, but they kept their guard up. Jenna stood up straight and sighed. “Someone or something has been influencing you. Don’t know who, don’t know how, but we do have our suspicions. You’d better thank Chrissy and Brooke, by the way. They’re the ones who captured you after you were made to drain me. Oh, and until I say so, you’re not getting out of the chair.”

 

“Wait, _what_?” He had so much information thrown at him, especially with the insane pain in his head, and he tried to take it all in and understand. “I did _what to you_ , and I’m being influenced, and... ugh.” Michael leaned his head back, shutting his eyes tight to try to ease the pain he felt somewhat. “Jen, my head hurts, why can’t I lie down at least?”

 

“Because if you do, you’ll fall asleep. Side effect of the potion, unfortunately, but we were short on time,” Chrissy piped up, looking less upset than everyone else.

 

“And you can’t get up in case it’s still somehow in you, influencing you again,” Brooke added, nodding seriously. Still, she wandered over and placed her hands on the side of his head. A couple of mumbled words later and Michael headache pounded less and less with every throb. “Now, Michael. What do you actually remember? Like, anything at all, it doesn’t have to be specific.”

 

He let out a small sigh of relief as the pain lessened a little, opening his eyes again to look at his friends. “I...” Frowning, Michael tried to think as hard as he could, though he felt like he was being told not to, to just listen and follow Jeremy, even if it was faint. “I... not to think, to listen to someone and... to follow wherever Jeremy went,” he told them. Whenever he tried to think harder on it, that floated through his head, more so distracting than anything else, though it was effective with the remnants of his headache.

 

As he began to lose himself in the spiral of trying to figure out what it was, a pair of fingers snapping in front of his face brought him out of it. “Don’t go too deep there, Michael. We can’t have you go all zombie on us again.” Jenna pulled back, sighing. “We need to talk to Jeremy. Mr Heere? Bring him over. Michael, I’m sorry but you’re going to be acting as our restraints for him. Ropes will freak him out but if you’re holding him, he should be fine.” Jenna quickly worked the rope away from his wrists, only to tie them to the opposite sides of the chair once Jeremy was in his lap. “You’ll forgive us, trust me.” Jenna simpered with faux-sweetness. “His potion was different from yours, so he should wake up in a minute or two. Before he does, anything else we need to know? Any weirdness happening these past few days?”

 

Michael frowned at the tone that Jenna had, though tried to think on what she asked as he was readjusted and Jeremy was settled in his lap. Was there anything else they needed to know? There _was_ something he and Jeremy had talked about that was weird before bed... right?

  
He tried to think, but even just the most simple of thinking tapered away to those three things: don’t think, listen to me, and follow Jeremy. He tried to get himself out of the process again, shutting his eyes as he grumbled, but the headache fading away made it so much nicer just to listen to the voice…

 

Jenna swatting him on the head brought him out of it again. “Hey! Ow!” She shot him a sarcastic smile. Okay, she was pissed about something he did to her which he couldn’t remember doing until he was reminded, when he apparently wasn’t in control of himself. Great.

 

Jeremy began to stir, slowly sitting up properly in Michael’s grip. “Need t’go back,” he mumbled, trying to figure out where he was.

 

Michael held onto Jeremy still, but he felt something in him react to what Jeremy was saying. The voice in his head, it wanted him to follow Jeremy, he needed to go with him…

  
Trying his best to keep the voice out, Michael held on tighter to Jeremy, burying his face into the crook of the other’s neck as he took in and let out a few deep breaths. No, he was supposed to hold Jeremy back... or was it just to hold his hand? “Ugh...”

 

“Jeremy, can you hear me? Can you understand me?” Brooke sounded worried.

 

Jeremy just stared at her. “I need to go _back_. Micah needs to _stay_ with me. _We_ need to go there.” He stated, though the words were stressed weirdly, like he was try to tell them something else.

 

Jenna was peering at him curiously. “It looked like a deeply ingrained trance state, but what could have been the trigger...” Jenna’s eyes lit up, then they darkened a little. “The only way we’re going to be able to wake him up is with fear. Physical action hasn’t done anything and neither does the usual stimuli. We need to scare him so badly he wakes up...” Michael had a feeling he knew what she was going to suggest, and he really didn’t like it.

 

He had to keep himself from squirming uncomfortably at the idea, holding on tighter to Jeremy. Michael didn’t want him to get so scared, and he could faintly hear some sort of agreement in the back of his head. He wanted to just listen, but he knew this wasn’t good.

  
“Jenna,” Michael whined out, looking at her from where he was sitting with tears in his eyes from this strain of trying to not listen since his headache was nearly gone. He tried his best to get the desperation and uncertainty he felt into his eyes so she’d understand.

 

Instantly, Jenna was in front of Michael’s face, locking eyes. She was talking, too fast for him to really keep up, but it did help to block out the voice telling him to do stuff. He sort of found himself agreeing with what she was saying, about how he needed to make himself warmer, not hot enough to burn or to hurt, just enough to wake Jeremy up. It was for Jeremy’s own good, it was to help him. So he did, he found his body heating up more and more and the incessant mumbling from in front of him suddenly cut off with a scream and Jeremy thrashing in his lap. In an instant, Jenna was gone and Michael dropped his temperature back to normal, whispering sweet words to calm Jeremy down. “Micah? What happened? Where are we? And why are we in our pajamas?” Jeremy’s questions came out in a messy heap, but he was _awake_ and _thinking_ again.

 

Michael felt the voice in his head clearing out as Jeremy's questions tumbled out, and he felt himself finally begin to relax as he held Jeremy closer once he wasn't thrashing. "'Dunno, but we're with our friends, we're OK," he reassured him as best he could, gently squeezing around his middle as he felt exhaustion hit him like a truck. It was like he got hit with a week's worth of terrible to little sleep, and he was finally starting to crash-and-burn. "We're OK now," he muttered out, burrowing his face close to Jeremy's neck as he felt himself begin to fall asleep.

 

Jeremy leaned back, nuzzling against Michael too. He seemed to have been hit with the exhaustion as well. “Do we let them sleep?” someone asked. Brooke maybe.

 

“Yeah, nothing can get past the silver in here, should be fine,” Jenna confirmed. Michael felt all the ropes tied to him fall away one by one. He only tightened his grip on Jeremy, who sighed happily. There was the sensation of being moved and then Michael was lying on a pile of something soft. Jeremy was lightly snoring in his arms and nothing in the world could keep him awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What Jeremy was trying to say at the end (each emphasized word was said in a backwards order so it could make this message):  
> "We. Stay. Back."


	12. The Silver lining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so... good and bad news. Good news is that there's a good amount of fluff.  
> ... Bad news is that it's after more angst.  
> MORE GOOD NEWS: next chapter, a longer one, is full of a lot of fluff! I promise, no lying here.  
> Also: yay for early posting! Thank both of my college classes for today being cancelled due to a late opening from snow!  
> Before I let you read this chapter, here are some words from Mara:
> 
> 'I cannot believe how much love this story is getting! Thanks for over 550 hits! Also, here’s my warning.  
> Just because the initial danger is over doesn’t mean that our boys are out of the woods. You don’t just ignore a demon :3 enjoy'

Michael felt himself to be in-and-out of sleep often while curled up with Jeremy in the mine. He wasn't still entirely sure about what happened that lead them to be here, just that it was something that happened with him and Jeremy, that Jenna was still a bit pissed at him for something he didn't remember doing, and that he was _wiped_. He had never known what it had been like to not sleep for a week straight, but he felt like he had a good idea (well, without the high, high chance of death).

  
He also felt himself having nightmares, but not remembering what they were about when he'd wake up. This time when he woke up, still half out-of-it, he could hear Jeremy talking with someone. Even if he didn't know how long he'd be awake for until he fell asleep again, Michael tried to tune in as best as he could.

 

“It was the SQUIP, I’m certain of it now. He had gotten into the dreamscape and made me and Micah forget each time. Like, he’d put me deeper each time and he finally got Micah last night. He wanted me to go back... I don’t want that at all.” Michael could feel Jeremy shiver against him, and squeezed slightly to try and calm him down. “I don’t think he could make us hurt anyone, just make us want to leave.”

 

"Well, he got pretty close from what Jenna told me," he heard a voice say, and he was able to recognize it as Brooke. "Somehow, he got Mikey to drain Jenna of her feelings of love for you two when she caught you two leaving the village. It's a good thing he didn't make it last for too long, otherwise we might not have been able to make it to you two in time."

 

“He... did that? But I remember that he could only do, like, three things: listen, not think, and follow me. That was his program. How could he have diverted from that?” Jeremy sounded shocked and a little scared, but thoughtful. He had his big thinking cap on. “Unless he kept me partially in the dreamscape to work as a microphone. Since I was in the trance, my brain was half-asleep so I could still be there and he could direct me.” Jeremy got that same pride in his voice whenever he figured something out, but his energy quickly dropped. “That’s super freaky. I’m glad you and Chrissy got us when you did.”

 

"I'm glad we did too. You guys had already passed the mine. Chrissy and I had to practically sprint the entire time, and she had to practically tackle you down. Sorry about that," he heard Brooke say, her voice tired as well as apologetic. Michael frowned at that, though he was sure no one knew but him since his face was comfortably buried partially into Jeremy's shirt, partially into one of the blankets they were lying on.

 

“It’s fine, I’m just glad you stopped us. I’m pretty sure we would have ended up back Inside if you hadn’t have stopped us. The SQUIP said... something strange about what he wanted me for though...” Jeremy sounded uncomfortable again. “I think his host is dying. He has Witch Blood, I can tell that much, but the original soul wasn’t very strong. I think he wants me to be his next host...” Jeremy squirmed a little, careful to not knock Michael. There was a sudden warmth nearby, maybe Brooke hugging Jeremy.

 

"Well, we aren't ever going to let that happen, Jerry, I promise." Michael wanted to hear more about what they were saying, but sleep finally took him back over again, leading into another nightmare that he couldn't remember by the time he woke up.

  
  
He knew he woke up a few more times, but Michael wasn't really _present_ for any of those like he had with Brooke and Jeremy's conversation. The only time he was really awake again was when he was gently shaken, and he grumbled as he reached up to rub at his eyes- someone must've taken off his glasses, because his hand didn't bump into them in the process. "Mm?..."

 

“C’mon Micah. We can go home now. Dad gave me a special potion that should stop the SQUIP from pulling me into my dreamscape, so we should be safe. Let’s go home and get some proper rest, yeah?”

 

Michael tried to focus enough to answer, but he couldn’t quite manage it. Jeremy sighed, and bent down, picking Michael up bridal style with surprising ease. Yeah, he wasn’t perfectly strong enough, but he managed to walk and carry Michael without too much strain. “You think I’ve just been sewing on my days off?” Jeremy teased.

 

Michael just rolled his eyes at the comment, the teasing tone definitely more than enough to tip him off that he was joking with him. "'F you were, we'd have a lot more stuff," he managed to tease back as he felt Jeremy begin to walk.

 

“That’s true, but you’d have more patches for your hoodie, so you can’t exactly complain.” Jeremy giggled a little. “Just hold on, it shouldn’t take too long until we get home. Then we can both get some proper sleep.” Jeremy pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Michael’s head, easily picking his way through the pathway back to the village.

 

"Yeah, why haven't you been makin' me more patches? You've been doin' other stuff," Michael pointed out with a fake pout as he rested his head against Jeremy's chest, watching the scenery as Jeremy walked.

 

Jeremy giggled, squeezing Michael gently. “Yeah but look at it this way. Your noodle of a boyfriend got himself strong enough _just_ so he could carry you around. That’s gotta count for something.”

 

He pretended to think about this, looking at Jeremy as he rubbed his chin. "Mm... I _guess_ it does, but I'd love more patches too." Grinning as he gently got tapped on the shoulder, Michael shut his eyes again as he gently chatted with Jeremy all of the way back, though they stopped when they got back to the village since it was the middle of the night.

  
When Jeremy let them in, Michael glanced over at the shoe rack and frowned to himself when he saw his mom's shoes still not there, though he just shut his eyes again and tried to pretend he didn't notice.

 

Jeremy, of course, noticed his quick glance and gave him a quick squeeze. “Brooke said she came home and found us missing. Went out to look for us. And Brooke told me Chrissy’s trying to find her now to let her know we’re safe.” Another quick kiss to the top of Michael’s head.

 

He felt a lot better after hearing that, humming out softly in response as he felt Jeremy walking up the stairs. "OK... I hope she's alright."

 

“She’ll be fine, Michael, don’t worry. Chrissy will find her and she’ll be home in no time.” Jeremy gently rested Michael on the bed with a small huff. He proceeded to tuck Michael in super carefully and wrap himself around him. “You’re sleeping on me, tonight. No exceptions.”

 

If he had more energy right now, Michael might've argued. "Mm, 'k," he answered, feeling as Jeremy quickly set something on the bedside table before they both settled. "Do we have t'go back t'the mine t'morrow?"

 

“Nope, we both have an assigned day off, Doctor Brooke’s orders. We need to stay in bed and sleep and catch up on all the missed sleep we’ve had.” Jeremy wrapped his arms around Michael and pulled his head onto Jeremy’s chest. His heartbeat was slow, steady, and calming.

 

"Mm, good," he muttered out, feeling himself already beginning to drift off. "'Wouldn't have gone in anyway, 'm so tired..."

 

“Sleep as much as you need, Michael. You deserve it after what you’ve been through.” Jeremy’s words slurred a little, he was obviously drifting off too.

 

"Y'do too," Michael managed to get out before he fell asleep to the sound of Jeremy's steady heartbeat.

  
  
When he started to feel himself coming to, though, it wasn't back in Jeremy's arms. Instead, it was a greyscape of clouds that he knew was familiar, and it made his head hurt as he tried to remember how. "Wh..." Standing up from where he had been lying on the floor, he looked around as he tried to figure out why he was here in this weird dreamscape.

 

“Hello again Michael.” A voice rung out behind him. A voice which was familiar in a good-bad-headhurty kinda way. “I wasn’t sure if I would get through again tonight, but it seems I’m in luck. Although, I am quite upset you didn’t make it to our little _meeting_ in the real world, this will do just as well.”

 

Turning around quick and backing up a good few feet, Michael narrowed his eyes at that same man from earlier. He could vaguely remember what happened, though they were more from what Jeremy and Brooke had said to each other when he was half-asleep. "Maybe we should try rescheduling this, I'm sorta trying to catch up on sleep right now."

 

“That’s the best time to talk, though,” the man protested. “Besides, I need your help. You see, you have something of mine.” He gestured to a cloud formation which seemed to have some sort of movie playing on it. It showed a very faint image of him and Jeremy together, curled up on the couch together while a fluffy dog bounced around their feet. “I want it back.”

 

He realized this must've been Jeremy's dream, and it made his heart soar. Turning back to the man, Michael narrowed his eyes and shook his head, having an idea on exactly what he meant. "Sorry, but I sorta promised him that he wasn't going back there, and I don't break those promises."

 

“You say that as if you have a choice! You _will_ bring him to me, one way or another,” the SQUIP cackled. Tendrils of smoke started curling from his being and dancing through the air towards Michael. He didn’t know how, but he knew that if he let them touch him, it would be very bad for him and Jeremy.

 

As soon as he knew that, Michael ran away from them, trying his best to avoid them. He just hoped that he could wake up soon and get out of this, _please-_

  
Suddenly, he felt something hit against him, causing him to trip and roll forward. Looking back over his shoulder, he saw that the dreamscape was being manipulated, forming some makeshift vine-like object that tripped him and wrapped around his ankle. He tried to conjure up his ability to light it on fire, thinking it might be similar, but nothing stopped them as they wrapped halfway up his leg, keeping him in-place for the smoke.

 

The smoke was nearly upon him when suddenly the vine released him. The clouds pushed him up to his feet and two arms wrapped protectively around him. “Stay the _fuck_ away from my boyfriend,” Jeremy snarled, glaring at the SQUIP. The smoke dissipated with a small ‘ _poof_.’ “My dream, my rules, fucker. Now get the fuck away from him and me and if you ever touch him again, I _will_ end you.” Jeremy almost never swore, not like this. His fury was palpable.

 

Michael's eyes were wide as he looked at Jeremy, relief and worry washing over him as he held on tight to him. Over his shoulder, he heard the SQUIP mutter out, "Interesting... Thank you, Jeremiah, for helping me figure out exactly what I need to do. I'll leave you two lovebirds for now."

 

  
With that, the dreamscape ended, and Michael woke up again, but he remembered everything this time. It all hit him at once, and he felt himself almost unable to catch his breath.

 

Within seconds, Jeremy’s hand was in view and his voice was echoing around him. “It’s okay, Micah. He’s gone. Just breathe with me. In... and out... and in... and out... there you go. It’s okay, he won’t get to you or me, I promise.”

 

Michael grabbed onto the other's hand near-instantly, squeezing in-time with his breathing that Jeremy coached him through. He felt himself begin to sob before he rested his head against Jeremy's chest, exhaustion, panic, and fear all swirling around inside of him.

 

“I’ll kill him for this,” Jeremy muttered as he started stroking Michael’s hair. “Don’t worry. He’s gone now. And I’ll be sticking in the dreamscape to make sure he can’t come back. He won’t get you anymore, love, I’ve got you. And don’t worry, normally the dreamscape feels like sleep, so I’ll be fine.”

 

As he felt himself slowly begin to calm down, Michael glanced up at Jeremy through the exhaustion he felt. "W-we need t'silver-line the room," Michael muttered. "If we don't, we won't be able to sleep here anymore."

 

Jeremy nodded, thinking. “We can stay in the mine until it’s done. And I’m pretty sure if we get enough materials, Mr. Doherty will do it for us. There’s plenty in the mine after all, it wasn’t anywhere near empty.”

 

The hand was still stroking Michael’s hair and Jeremy’s voice was relaxing. Then he gasped. “Oh, no wonder you’ve been so out of it! Your soul is almost drained! I can help a little for now.” Jeremy placed a hand on Michael’s chest and suddenly a warm sensation trickled inside him. It was calming as well as somewhat energizing. Recharging him in some odd way.

 

He couldn't help but hum at that, shutting his eyes as he felt himself not to be so exhausted (he was so tired that he hadn't realized he was exhausted in more ways than one). "Mm, I don't know what you did, but it feels great, Jere," Michael told him before nuzzling closer to Jeremy's chest. "Thanks."

 

“Just shared a piece of me with you until you’re strong enough to recharge, Micah. You’ll feel even better in the morning, trust me. Your glow will be back up to brightness in no time.” Jeremy squeezed his arms gently around Michael again, smiling softly.

 

"Thanks Jere," he muttered out, pressing his cheek against Jeremy's chest as he shut his eyes. "I didn't realize that my soul was being drained... I didn't know that could _happen._ "

 

“I think it’s from you protecting me, honestly. Whenever we send too many emotions, or go strong emotions, through the bond on purpose, it takes a bit of our own. We give our glow to the other. You gave me a lot this week trying to wake me up.” Jeremy explained, then kissed Michael’s forehead again. “But enough talking for now. Sleep. I’ll keep your dreams safe this time.”

Michael just hummed out to show he heard and understood. "You don't have to tell me twice," he said around a yawn, and he barely managed to mutter out a 'good night' before falling asleep.  


  
The next morning (at least he thought it was), Michael felt himself begin to naturally wake up. He felt comforting arms around him still, and he realized Jeremy was still holding him close. Opening his eyes, he reached a hand up to rub at them as he looked up at the person keeping him close. "Mornin'."

 

Jeremy groaned and nuzzled closer to Michael. He did not seem to want to wake up.

 

"I know, it sucks, but I'm hungry," Michael said as he reached the hand that had been rubbing his eye over and gently poked Jeremy's cheek. " _Jeeeremy_." Honestly, he was quite glad he was able to do this, because the mornings of the past week, he realized, were so much more miserable for the both of them.

 

“Nooooo. I don’t wanna. I refuse,” Jeremy grumbled, pouting and keeping his eyes closed. There was a slight twitch of a smile tugging at his lips.

 

"But you said you were going to take care of me though," he argued, even if that wasn't _exactly_ what Jeremy had said last night, "And that includes getting food. It's not like you don't know how to cook anymore."

 

“Fine,” Jeremy groaned, cracking an eye open to look at Michael, a cheeky smirk broke out on his face. “You’re a real handful sometimes, y’know?” He leaned up, pecking Michael gently on the lips. “So, what do you want for breakfast today? Let me, your humble servant, provide.”

 

Unable to keep himself from giggling, Michael rested his head back down against Jeremy's chest, not wanting to move until Jeremy was going to make food. "Mm... Your finest dish, good sir," he said with a soft smile. " _Not_ the pancakes, because you burn more than half of them every time, Jere."

 

Jeremy let out an undignified squawk of offence. “I _resent_ that. How _dare you_ insult me little that, Micah! I’m so betrayed, so heartbroken!” Jeremy pulled an arm up to dramatically cover his eyes, before grinning and sitting up. “Sweet French toast it is. I’ll let know when the first one is ready.” With a quick peck to Michael’s lips, Jeremy hopped out of bed and wandered off to the kitchen.

 

He watched Jeremy go, smiling softly before sitting up and trying to think everything over, at least what he remembered from it. He lied down for a while, a frown formed on his lips before he went and reached over to their bedside table, putting on his glasses as well as the pendant that Mrs. Doherty made for him and taking Jeremy's pendant as well.

 

Getting out of bed, Michael wrapped the fuzzy blanket around himself, pendant in hand, and made his way downstairs to see how Jeremy was doing.

 

Jeremy was in the process of flipping the first piece of bread in the pan when Michael wandered in. Jeremy chuckled when he caught sight of the blanket. “I feel like I’ve seen this before, but from the other side.” Jeremy chuckled. "It’s cozy, isn’t it? Well you’re not keeping it. It’s one of my most special possessions. My best friend and love of my life gave it to me.” He teased a little in response to the blanket, eyes soft as he plated the first piece and passed it over to Michael.

 

Michael felt his chest warm at that, and not just because the fresh French Toast was right near him. "I'm not gonna keep it, but I _am_ going to borrow it. It _is_ cozy, and I feel like it wouldn't be right if the person who wasn't making breakfast didn't bundle themselves up in it, y'know?" He sat up on one of the stools then, setting his plate down as he waited for Jeremy so they could eat together.

 

“You’re so cute,” Jeremy cooed, putting on his own food. It cooked quickly and he plated up and sat down. “Well I feel wonderfully domestic right about now.” Jeremy hooked their ankles together, humming happily.

 

"Well, I'd sure hope so," Michael hummed out before starting to eat his food. He happily ate the food, as Jeremy's was just as good as he remembered Mama's food being.

 

“Sit, alright?” Jeremy asked, gesturing with his fork slightly. When Michael nodded and hummed, Jeremy practically glowed with happiness. “Well I have been trying to get this one just right. Little bit of cinnamon sugar at the end seems to do the trick, and the little bit of vanilla.” Jeremy took another bite, pondering things happily. “I’m gonna make the best housewife.” He giggled. “I cook now, I sew and of course, I’m really pretty.” Jeremy primped his hair a little, trying to seem serious but failing as small snorts of laughter make their way through.

 

Michael couldn’t help but laugh a little as well, snorting a little as well. “Yeaaah we sorta even disbanded that sorta forced stigma, I only really know that ‘cause of what you told me, so sorry, no housewife fun for you unless it’s what you really wanna do.”

 

Jeremy pouted for a moment, then giggled and relaxed. “Thank god for that. Chloe will be so relieved. Even more reason to take down the Inside.” Jeremy took another bite of his food.

 

Nodding in agreement, Michael continued to eat his food as he rubbed his foot against Jeremy’s. He sat in a comfortable silence for a bit with him before he couldn’t help but think on something. “Hey, Jere?”

 

“Yeah Micah? What’s up?” Jeremy looked up, a small smile on his face.

 

He couldn’t help but squirmed a little in his seat as he thought on this, knowing this would ruin their peaceful mood, but he asked anyway. “So, I know that he’s, uh, a demon of sorts, but uh how exactly does his whole thing work with staying here?”

 

Jeremy instantly sobered. “From the documents I found, he needs a host. Like, to summon him initially you need to either give up your body or have someone as a sacrifice. And when that body dies, he can swap hosts....” he trailed off.

 

Michael reached his hand over, gently taking Jeremy’s in his own before he asked another question. “He can’t just swap hosts suddenly though, right? What does he need to do to be able to get another host?”

 

Jeremy hesitated, whether from trying to remember or fear, it was impossible to tell. “He can’t, as far as I know. You either need to consent or have your soul muted. That’s what I got from the documents and elder Partridge’s old books on demons, anyway. So as long as I say no, there’s a high chance he can’t just... take me.” Jeremy looked off to the side, sounding a little bitter.

 

“There’s no way I would let him take you either,” he told Jeremy, giving his hand a firm squeeze before bringing it to his lips to kiss the back of. “You’ll be fine, I promise.”

 

“And I’d never say yes.” Jeremy nodded firmly. “We’re going to get him. We’re going to stop him from hurting anyone else and I am _never_ going back to that life.”

 

“Exactly.” With one more kiss, Michael went back to eating his food. “Plus, if you were gone, who would I enjoy being so grossly domestic with?”

 

“No one else is ever gonna compare, I’m too comfy in the mornings.” Jeremy chuckled sticking his tongue out. He started to eating again, but he looked a little out of it, lost in thought. They didn’t seem to be very nice.

 

Michael gently tugged at Jeremy’s ankle from under the table, bringing him back and out of his head before shooting him some kissy faces to try to cheer him up.

 

Jeremy giggled, and leaned over to place an over exaggerated kiss on his lips. He looked a little happier and the comfortable atmosphere settled again.

 

At this, Michael pulled back, pressing a quick kiss to his nose before continuing to eat. He waited until they were almost done to suggest telling Jenna and the others what happened and to get the silver stuff talked out with Mrs. Doherty before they go back to snuggle, no matter how painful that might be to wait.

 

“No it makes sense. How about you go find Jenna and everyone, I go find Mrs. Doherty so she can talk to her husband. Then we can get everything done much quicker.” Jeremy nodded, looking a little reluctant but thoughtful.

 

“Are you sure? If you wanna stick together after last night, I wouldn’t be bothered,” Michael told him before eating the last of his food.

 

Jeremy arched his eyebrow, and nodded slowly. “That’s probably for the best really.” Jeremy took the last bite of his food before taking their dishes to the sink. “C’mon. Let’s clean up. Then we can find Mrs. Doherty first.”

 

The washing up passed really quickly and, once they were all ready, Jeremy started leading them out the house. “It’s her day off today, and I know you haven’t been to her house before. So just follow me, I know the way.” Jeremy grinned, shooting a smile back at Michael.

 

Michael nodded, even if he felt a little off on that, though he at least knew why and could shake it off. He was tempted to hold Jeremy’s hand, but it just made his stomach churn for now so he just smiled back at Jeremy, sticking his hands into his hoodie pockets before walking beside the other.

 

Jeremy paused, almost tripping over is feet, and blinked rapidly a few times. Then he shook his head and started leading the way again, babbling happily about how nice Mrs. Doherty’s house was. When they got there, Michael was vaguely surprised to see that the wood had a certain pink-y tinge to it, too natural to be a stain or paint. “It’s pink because she and her husband are both pink souls, and he’s really quite powerful. I think he can even conjure constructs!” Jeremy answered without even needing to hear Michael’s question. Jeremy rapped lightly on the door.

 

Michael just nodded and waited, smiling when the older woman opened the door to smile down at the two. “Oh hello, it’s so good to see you boys! What can I do for you two today? Oh, come in, come in.”

  
Before Michael could politely decline, he and Jeremy were ushered in and settled down on the couch, cups of tea in their hands.

 

“She always does this,” Jeremy stage whispered, shooting Mrs Doherty a playful grin.

 

She put her hands on her hips and scowled right back. “If you boys spent more time around the village I wouldn’t have to!” A brief pause, then her stern demeanor dropped and she started fussing over them, Jeremy in particular, turning their heads this way and that as she looked them over. “Oh look at you both, you look exhausted! Have you been staying up late recently? I’ve told you not to do that!”

 

Jeremy chuckled and nodded. “Actually, that’s why we’re here. You see, we’ve been having... nightmares. Picking up on some negative energies thanks to our souls, and I was hoping you could ask Wilbur to come and put a silver lining in our room? We can supply the materials, we just need someone to actually put it up for us. It should be enough to stop the nightmares.”

 

“If you need us to pay too-“

  
“For goodness sake, Michael, please listen when I say you never need to pay me back. You’re like a grandson to me, and the same with Jeremy here. Just let me help you two boys out, alright?”

  
Michael opened his mouth for a moment before sighing and accepting defeat. “OK, alright. Thank you Mrs. Doherty.”

 

She patted his cheek lightly, and reached over to pinch Jeremy’s. “I’ll get Wilbur to come over this evening once he’s back from work, he can let you know how much he’ll need to block out anything from in there. In the meantime, let me fix you a little something to eat, you both look half starved.” She turned towards the kitchen and Jeremy was giggling too much to really be able to stop her.

 

Looking a little exasperated, Michael turned to Jeremy and whispered to him, “But we just ate breakfast!”

 

Jeremy calmed his giggles just enough to speak. “Mrs. Doherty, wait. We just had breakfast, I even cooked, so just the tea is fine for now. Although we might take you up on your dinner offer next Sunday.”

 

She sighed and chuckled a little. “Are you sure you don’t need any more food, Michael? Jeremy hasn’t been cooking all that long.” She arched an eyebrow as Jeremy let out an offended squawk. She affectionate patted his cheek as he pouted, eyes shining with affection.

 

“I’m sure, Jeremy’s good at cooking a few things and I made sure he didn’t make pancakes, otherwise I might’ve taken you up on that offer,” he joked, smiling at Jeremy despite the look of betrayal he held. “What? It’s true.”

 

“Traitors, the both of you,” Jeremy grumbled, before taking a long sip of his tea. “Mmm, is this the rose tea you were telling me about? It’s really nice.” His grumpiness vanished in a split second, causing Mrs. Doherty to chuckle.

 

Michael just smiled and continued to enjoy the quick visit before they ended up excusing themselves so they could meet Jenna (well, find her or someone else, but the older woman didn’t need to know). They quickly said their goodbyes as they left, Jeremy taking the lead again.

  
Michael still felt those phantom voices telling him what to do for a second, but he quickly shook them off again, though dug his hands far into his hoodie pockets as they walked.

 

Jeremy obviously noticed and he asked as soon as they were out of the village. “You okay, Micah? You seem... tense. Like, as soon as you started... following...” Jeremy trailed off, his expression falling, then shook his head. The concern was back in an instant.

 

“Just phantom voice in my head, I’m sure it’ll go away,” Michael reassured him with a soft smile. “Don’t worry about it, yeah?”

 

Jeremy frowned, looking unconvinced, but he nodded eventually. “Alright... but if it gets any louder, you let me know, okay?” Jeremy shuffled over Michael’s side, placing a hand on his shoulder. A small burst of warmth bloomed in Michael’s chest upon the contact, but it wasn’tjust from the usual affection.

 

“I will, don’t worry,” he promised, nodding along with it as they continued on their way to the base.

 

Jeremy still looked unconvinced, but he didn’t argue. It didn’t take long for them to reach the base, and Jeremy ran in instantly. “Jenna! Brooke! Dad! Something happened! We need to talk to you guys!”

 

Three heads popped out of there different doors, with Brooke in particular scowling. “This better be important Jeremy. I told you both to stay home and sleep!”

 

Jeremy nodded rapidly. “It really is. Please, can we just talk? It’s important.”

 

Jenna seemed hesitant for a second before nodding, though had them sit down quick. Michael thanked her, though also apologized about before. “Hey, you didn’t do it, so it’ll be fine,” she reassured. “Now, what do you need to tell us though?”

 

And so they explained what happened that night when they went back, as well as what they were planning on doing and had asked for Mr. Doherty to do. By the end of it, Jenna’s face was worried and Brooke almost looked panicked, though Mr. Heere helped to calm her.

 

“It’s okay kids, I have an idea. Michael and Jeremy can stay until their room is done. I’m sure you can sort something out, and we have a bigger hammock that you two can share.” Jeremy shot his dad a surprised look. “Jeremy, I’m your father, I’m not stupid. You two live together, are dating, and are really affectionate. I already figured you slept together too.” He chuckled.  
  


“We were sort of doing that too earlier,” Michael pointed out to Jeremy, though that didn’t do anything but get him to be more flustered. “We’ll have to come up with something to tell my mom though.”

 

Jenna’s head popped up, and she looked a little excited. “My room is already silver lined. We could tell your mom a version of the truth, about the nightmares and stuff, and say you’re both staying with me until your room is done.”

 

At that, Michael couldn’t help but smile and nod along with that. “Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks Jenna, and good quick-thinking.”

 

Jenna smiled and flipped her hair. “Someone other than Jeremy has to think around here.” She teased, shooting Jeremy a conspiratorial wink.

 

His eyes widened and he shook his head. “Uhuh, leave me out of this!”

 

Rolling his eyes at that, Michael just smiled and whined back with no bite, “Hey, I’m not the leader for nothing, and don’t go insulting the rest of us here.”

 

Jeremy lightly tugged at Michael’s sleeve. “Hey, I wanna sleep some more. Should we go and set up the hammock? I know we have to be back in time for Mr. Doherty, but I’m already falling asleep again.” He pouted.

 

“Yeah, that sounds good. We don’t wanna be exhausted for him,” he agreed, yawning himself before getting up and saying a quick ‘bye’ to the group before going to where Jeremy was during his removal process months ago. Michael mumbled to himself as he looked around, eventually finding the large hammock and managing to set it up, even if he was starting to get tired again.

 

Jeremy was frowning again at him as he climbed into the hammock. Michael wasn’t sure why. Then, as soon as Jeremy climbed in after him (sort of awkwardly) and tucked himself into the crook of Michael’s neck, another burst of warmth filled his chest. Jeremy sighed and started to nod of very quickly, despite not being _especially_ tired moments ago.

 

Holding the other close, Michael pressed a kiss to his temple, muttering out, “Don’t wear yourself out for me, Jere.” He put his own hood up to act as a cushion and thin pillow before pressing another kiss to the other’s temple and shutting his eyes, letting himself nod off as well.


	13. Life Goes On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys deserve this after so much angst with only /some/ fluff: a chapter full of fluff! It goes over the passage of time, so there's a bunch of time-skipping to get us closer to the end of this because who has time to write the events out of a year when you could easily just time skip to the most fluff-filled parts? ;)  
> Also thanks for over 600 hits and so much support, it's insane especially since this fic has been out for almost two weeks now? You all are amazing, lots of love!!!  
> Finally, here are our parting words from our lovely Mara before the chapter starts:
> 
> 'Have some fluff, you guys have earned it! Thanks for over 600 hits!!!! <3'

The following week was hard on everyone. They got the materials and Mr. Doherty finished the room in no time, but everyone was still on edge. They got past it. The SQUIP no longer could visit their dreams, even if there was the occasional lingering presence hovering sometimes, and things fell back into some sort of order.

  
Jeremy and Michael rarely spent time apart. They would work together, go to lessons together, plan together, and go on the recon missions into the inside together. The only time they really spent apart was when Jeremy was taking his mandatory ‘me days’ where he did things he liked to help keep his ever volatile emotions in check.

  
Which is why, a few weeks later, Jeremy was feeling a little bothered. Michael, and everyone else apparently, had been avoiding him for the past few days. Conversations dropped when he walked in the room, people would glance over at him, and Michael was _obviously_ keeping something from him. As slick as he thought he was, he was pretty easy to read. Or he was to Jeremy anyway, bond or no bond.

  
Jeremy decided that maybe he should go and check on everyone. He had been sent out to tend to Brooke’s garden (she had apparently been ill, even if she seemed fine whenever he saw her around the village) but was growing restless under the hot, summer sun. ‘ _I’m just going to grab myself some water, that’s all_ ,’ he justified to himself as he slipped back into the cool shade of the mine.

 

As he entered into the mine, Jeremy swore he could hear whispers. They were too suspicious, and with his curious mind, Jeremy couldn't help but check.

  
Little did he know that this seemed to be planned, and when he walked into a room, the lights were suddenly turned on once he looked around. " _Surprise_!" Out popped his dad, Jenna, Chrissy, Brooke, and Michael from various hiding places in the room, which was decorated. There were colorful decorations of what he learned were streamers and balloons, though it was mainly blue, and there was a banner across the back length of the room that read ' _Happy birthday, Jeremy_!' as a cake rested on the table.

 

Jeremy stumbled backwards a little from the shock of _everything at once_ , clutching his chest a little to make sure his heart was still beating. Looking around, he felt so confused, but there was a warm feeling starting to bubble into his chest. “I-er-What?!” he stammered out.

 

Brooke practically pounced on him then, bringing him into a nice, warm hug. "Happy birthday, Jerry! Your dad told us when it was, which is today, _obviously_ , and we wanted to give you your first proper birthday!"

  
"Brooke'll want to take credit, but it was Michael's idea," Chrissy added, earning a playful hiss from Brooke who waved her away while Michael's face flushed somewhat.

 

Jeremy hugged Brooke back sort of absentmindedly. He was still in shock, looking around the room. His friends, his _family_ had sorted out something so _big_ just because? There was so much effort put into everything (the cake had blue frosting flowers on it! Those took ages to make!) and they had done it because it was his birthday. It wasn’t that big of a deal... or maybe it was. Inside, it was just a marker to indicate when you were eligible to work and such, but out here it seemed to be a celebration. He was still confused and shocked, but he still could tell how much work everything must have taken. He looked directly at Michael when he said, “Thank you.”

 

Michael seemed to squirm a little where he stood as the others sort of took over talking for him. "Your dad told us about how birthdays were seen as Inside, but we wanted to help you learn what they're really about-"

  
"All of the cake and gifts!"

  
"-Brooke, not the point." The girl pouted before resting her head onto Jeremy's shoulder, though Jenna continued regardless. "It's celebrating you and the things you've done and that you're a year older, wiser, ecetera ecetera. Really, it's a way for us to show that we love you, and to have a day where your loved ones are with you."

 

Jeremy held onto Brooke loosely but almost desperately. Everyone wanted to spend the day celebrating _him_? Just what... shower him in affection or something? “But- but I’m just... me.” His brain was still struggling to process. While he had adapted to life Outside, there were still a lot of things that he didn’t really understand. Like how people would want to celebrate _him_. He was just Jeremy, and while he loved everyone dearly, he didn’t quite get why they would go to all this trouble for him.

 

"Yes, you _are_ you, and we love and care about you! We wanna be able to show you how much we care and how much you matter, because you. Deserve. To know." With the heavy end to each sentence she gave, Brooke poked hard against Jeremy's cheek. " _You_ may not understand how important you are yet, but that's OK. Self-esteem takes time to build, especially from nothing from that asshole, but you'll get it, we promise. Now let us all love you!"

 

Jeremy paused, ignoring the cheek pokes (he was already use to that from Brooke anyway. She was his best friend after Michael). Finally he decided something. Even if _he_ didn’t think it was important, everyone else did. That was enough to make him do comfortable enough to do almost anything. “I... alright.” Jeremy shot everyone a small, shy smile.

 

Everyone in the room cheered a bit while Brooke squeezed him once. "Alright, so we're gonna light the candles on the cake, you're gonna make a wish in your head and then blow them out, and after we all cut and eat the cake, we give you a gift and tell you something we like about you!"

  
"Brooke, hun, that's not wh-"

  
"-Yes it is, at least from now on then, Chrissy!"

 

Jeremy was still floundering a little as he let himself be led over to the cake, watching curiously as Jenna lit the candles. He was alright with small flames, just not with glowing hot things. ‘Think of a wish’ Brooke had said... _‘I wish I can always feel this loved, this important, to the people who love me, and that I can make them feel the same_.’ Jeremy decided, nodding to himself as he leant down and blew out the candles in one strong gust.

 

Everyone cheered for him as he blew out his candles before pieces of the cake were cut, though Jeremy seemed to get the piece with the most blue flowers on it. The group all sat down together then, chatting happily amongst themselves before Brooke popped up. "Hey! We should tell Jeremy what we like about him before we give him the gifts!"

  
"Brooke, dear, you just said-"

  
"Mr. Heere, _please_!" The eldest in the room just sighed and shrugged for her to go ahead.

 

Jeremy chuckled a little, watching how excited Brooke seemed to be just to _compliment_ him. Still, he scooted his chair a little closer to Michael, who was sitting on his right, and hooked their ankles together. He was a little overwhelmed and had a feeling it might get worse. The point of contact calmed his racing heart and kept him grounded in the here and now.

 

At this, Jeremy felt Michael pull him a bit closer, to where he could rest his head on his boyfriend's shoulder as the group started to get what they wanted to say together. Jeremy knew Michael would help him if he got _too_ overwhelmed, but things were fine for now, at least.

 

Of course, since Brooke suggested this all, she went first. "Jeremy, you are the nicest, sweetest boy I've ever met. You're such a delight to be around, and you grew to be my best friend so fast! I love you so much, and you've definitely changed my life for the better!"

 

Jeremy’s face blushed and his smile turned a little bashful. He gazed at her a little shyly before making small grabby hands in her direction, instantly being wrapped into a warm hug. “Th’nk y’, Brooke,” he mumbled half into her hair, giving her a small squeeze before she went and sat down back in her spot.

 

Jenna decided to go next. “Jeremy, you are the most honest, most gentle people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. You make everyone’s day a little brighter with your genuine care. I love you and everything you have grown to be.” Jenna wandered over and gave Jeremy a quick, one armed hug before sitting back down again. That was a lot of voluntary affection for her, so Jeremy felt really special.

 

Christine decided to go next, clearing her throat before turning and facing Jeremy with a near-blinding grin. "Jeremy, you've done so much good for everyone here! You're so good, and I liked you the instant I saw you, which, I promise, isn't something that happens a lot. You go out of the way for the people you care for, and you honestly have one of the purest hearts I've ever met. Thank you so much for being my friend, and I love you so much." The girl got up then, going over to Jeremy as she enveloped him in a quick hug before sitting back down beside Brooke.

 

Jeremy was getting a little overwhelmed with the amount of compliments and affection he was being showered in. Michael gave his hand a quick squeeze, helping to ground him a bit, before his dad decided to take a turn. “Son, you have grown so much in these past few months and I couldn’t be prouder. You took those parts of you that you always clung to, curiosity, kindness, and your innate moral compass, and turned them into something amazing. I’m so proud of you and I love you so much.” His dad pressed a quick kiss to his forehead and ruffled his hair affectionately.

 

Okay, this was getting to be a bit too much. Jeremy could feel tears, happy tears, start to build. He buried himself into Michael’s shoulder, his face as red as the somehow still present hoodie.

 

He felt the other hold him close, his fingers running through his hair as he helped to calm him down. Everyone else stayed quiet, though it was a comfortable, loving silence that was present in the room as Jeremy felt himself begin to calm down.

 

After a few deep breaths, Jeremy nodded against Michael’s hoodie and extracted himself from the plush fabric. “Thank you guys. It really means a lot to know I’ve had such a big impact on everyone else. I’m just trying my best,” he murmured, his voice still sort of thick with emotion.

 

"That's all we can ask of you," Brooke assured him, a warm smile on her face as Michael gently squeezed Jeremy's shoulder to help reassure him.

 

Jeremy turned to look at Michael, not sure if he was going to say anything yet, he had been very quiet this whole time. Before Jeremy could ask if he was okay, though, Chrissy shot out of her seat and bounced over to a pile of brightly wrapped boxes. “Present time!” she announced happily, eyes darting to Michael briefly. Jeremy shrugged it off for now.

 

As he got his gifts, he couldn't help but feel a bit overwhelmed again at how much thought went into the gifts. There was a proper sewing set from Chrissy and Brooke, a scrapbook and a big, fuzzy sweater Jenna apparently worked hard to make, and what seemed to be a handmade cookbook from his dad that made Jeremy almost cry. Thankfully, he still had Michael there to help keep him calm as he rubbed his back.

 

“Thank you all so much!” Jeremy’s eyes were watery but he wasn’t crying just yet. He was just feeling a lot as he looked up at them all, surrounded by the proof that they all loved him so much and genuinely cared about who he was and what he liked. Every gift was so well thought out that it made his head spin and his heart pound almost painfully in his chest. He leant into the touch a little more, trying to compose himself. He thought he heard his dad chuckle a little.

 

When he looked around once more, he could swear he saw Christine give Michael a look he couldn’t quite figure out. As he glanced up to look at Michael, he was just finishing a shrug before looking back down at Jeremy, giving him a smile before placing a kiss onto his forehead. “Of course, you deserve it.”

 

Jeremy his his face in his boyfriend’s shoulder again, blushing madly. “Micah...” He grumbled out something unintelligible, not even really knowing what he himself was trying to say. He was just flustered from how much everyone cared and how genuine Michael believed he deserved to be _spoiled_. That’s what it felt like was happening. He was being spoiled with love and affection and he couldn’t quite deal.

 

"Guys, I think we broke him," he heard Michael tell the others, who just laughed a bit, though it was all in good spirit. "Really though, if this is a bit too much for you, we can end it now and you and I can go home for the rest of your birthday. We can just relax and take it easy."

 

Jeremy shook his head against Michael’s shoulder, before sighing and looking up at him. He knew his eyes were probably wide with excitement and happiness, because he was very happy, just a little overwhelmed. “No I’m okay. I’m just feeling a little spoiled at the moment, you’ve all been so sweet and thoughtful!” He glanced around at everyone before looking back up at Michael.

 

When he looked up, he saw Michael staring down at him with perhaps the fondest look he'd ever seen on him before. "Mm... well, alright then, but if you ever wanna head back early, or whenever you're just ready to go home, let me know, alright?" A soft kiss was placed on top of his head then.

 

Jeremy nodded happily. “Of course, Micah.” He pressed a small ‘thank you’ kiss to Michael’s jaw before turning back to the group. “So, what else to people do at birthday parties?”

 

"Well, it's all really what the person whose birthday it is wants to do," his dad told him with a warm smile, "So whatever you wanna do, son."

 

Jeremy blushed, but did his best to think about it. “Are... there any... games people play? At parties? Because we haven’t had much time to just mess about and play before.”

 

Chrissy managed to give a few suggestions, even bringing out some simple board games (definitely something new for Jeremy, but he really enjoyed them) that they all played. After a while though, Michael gently squeezed Jeremy as they finished cleaning up their last game they played, which Jenna won. "Hey, I think we should start heading back soon, yeah?"

 

Jeremy nodded a little sleepily. He had a lot of fun, but he had been on a sort of low level of overwhelmed this whole time. He could really use just some cuddle time now. “That sounds good, Micah. I wanna head home _now,_ I think.”

 

"Your wish is my command, birthday boy," his boyfriend practically sang out before Jeremy felt himself being picked up and cradled. "Sorry I didn't help too much with clean up, I'll make up for it later guys."

  
Even if there was some minor irritation (all joking, though, and all from Jenna), the couple was waved off as Michael walked out of the mine with Jeremy, holding him close as the sun was beginning to set.

 

Jeremy giggled as soon as he was picked up, tucking himself into Michael’s neck, only removing himself just long enough to say his goodbyes. When he saw the sunset, he sighed happily. “I don’t know why, but I always think sunsets are romantic. They’re just so _pretty_ and I feel like they should be shared,” he mumbled, pressing a couple of kisses of Michael’s neck.

 

"Well, I'm glad that I'm sharing this one with you then," Michael told him, pressing a kiss to the top of Jeremy's curly-haired head. "The view'll be nice from where we're cuddled up on the couch, or in bed, don't you think?"

 

“Mmm, for sure. It’s super pretty too, kinda like a more intense version of my dreamscape.” The clouds did indeed resemble the dreamscape. It made Jeremy happy. He was feeling a little out of it, too out of it to really assemble his thoughts properly, so he just cuddled up to Michael and let his brain recharge a little.

 

Michael didn't seem to talk for the rest of the journey back, though that was alright since he was so comfortable and was recharging after the party. By the time they returned home though, he felt better, though didn't complain when Michael set him down on the couch, tucking him into his blanket. "I'm going to make some special birthday dinner for you, so you relax for now."

 

“Thank you, Micah,” Jeremy sang, and he turned himself to watch Michael work. As good as he was getting in the kitchen, Michael was a pro and actually having the chance to just focus on him with no other distractions was such a rare treat.

 

It didn't take long for him to figure out what his boyfriend was making, whether it be by what Michael was doing or the smells drifting in. Michael came out with some of his favorite meal and the drink they had on rare occasions (well, until apples were 'in season,' as Michael told him). "Happy birthday, my favorite person," the taller of the pair cooed out, pressing a long, meaningful kiss to Jeremy's temple before he was given his meal, the glasses set on the coffee table in front of them.

 

Jeremy, of course, lit up upon seeing the Chicken Tikka Masala. He sighed happily at the kiss, and giggled a little as he got the food. “Thank you so much, Micah! It’s perfect! Thank you!” he cheered, giggling and smiling up at Michael right up until he took the first mouthful. Then he just groaned because it was so _good_!

 

From the corners of his vision, Jeremy saw Michael grinning before he started to eat himself. "Well, I'm glad you like it. I tried really hard this time," he was told before Michael continued to eat, nestled close to Jeremy all the while.

 

“Your food always tasted the best,” Jeremy proclaimed with a firm nod as he started devouring his dinner, groaning lightly every now and again. Otherwise, he was silent, too focused on being near Michael enjoying his meal.

 

Once he was done eating and was sipping on his apple cider, he felt Michael's hand beginning to gently rub along the back of his neck, being careful of the more sensitive spots. "How did you enjoy your first official birthday party?"

 

“It was... amazing. I’ve never felt more wanted or valued in my life, and it was just so fun with the games!” Jeremy giggled, leaning into the touch slightly.

 

"Well, we wanted you to know much much you mean to us," Michael told him, though as they talked, Jeremy felt another hand gently running along his back, applying pressure in ways that helped to relieve aches and tension in his back that he didn't even realize he had.

 

Jeremy sighed at the feeling of loss of tension. He arched his back a little, chasing the feeling a little deeper. He groaned a little. “Mmm, I certainly feel loved,” he hummed.

 

The feeling just continued as he felt a gentle kiss to his temple. "Good, that's all we wanted. Also, uh, would it be alright if I kept doing this to you upstairs? I wanna give you a proper massage to help you fully relax."

 

“A massage?” Jeremy questioned, trying out the word a bit. He had used it before but never quite in this context. “I think I’d like that.” He smiled, heading upstairs at Michael’s request and sitting lightly on the edge of the bed (his side specifically).

 

Once in, Michael gently directly Jeremy to lie down on his stomach, and started to rub into his muscles. He told Jeremy to let him know if there was any pain so he could lighten it up, but it honestly felt sinfully _blissful_.

 

Jeremy melted under Michael’s touches, sighing happily. He had never felt his body go so relaxed, never had his head go so fuzzy. He didn’t care about anything else right then, just the feeling of Michael’s hands on his shoulder, his weight resting so close. He sighed again.

 

The feeling shifted all the way from his shoulders to his lower back, and it ended up going along his upper arms as well and thighs. Jeremy had no idea how much time had passed until Michael stopped, but he knew it ended when he felt a gentle, lingering kiss to his neck. “Mm, how was that?”

 

“Mrp?” Jeremy huffed out, barely conscious from how _relaxed_ he felt. He tried to lift his head, to look around a little, but had no such luck, he was stuck, bleary and blissful wherever he was. “I’th’nk y’br’ke me Micah,” he mumbled, trying to latch on to any substantial feeling. “M’feelin’ sooooooo good.” He giggled almost drunkenly.

 

“Wow, I didn’t think I was _that_ good,” Michael teased before Jeremy felt him press a kiss to his cheek. “I wanted to tell you and ask you something, but I think I’ll wait until you’re a little more present.”

 

Jeremy stirred, slowly pushing himself up onto his forearms. He pouted at Michael. “I’ve just never felt so relaxed before. Didn’t realize how _sore_ my muscles were, is all.” His words were still a little slow, but he did seem to be pulling himself out of his relaxed stupor. “I’ll be okay in a minute.”

 

“Mm, ok, you big baby,” the other teased before he sat down beside him in bed, going and getting himself under Jeremy’s blanket with him before wrapping his arms around his middle. “We can just lie down a bit, and I’ll ask ‘ya soon.”

 

Jeremy instantly cuddled close to Michael, tucking himself into his neck, almost purring with contentment. “M’kay.” He hummed, giggling a little. “You”re always so warm, Micah. Even when I first saw you in the forest, I knew you were warm. Was calling you ‘the warm boy’ in my head before I knew your name. Wanted to be near you even then.” Jeremy was so relaxed and comfortable with Michael that his filters were pretty much all gone. He had never properly admitted this before.

 

He could hear and feel Michael laughing then before he felt one of the hands around him start to rub circles and random shapes into his lower back. “Oh yeah? Well, you were ‘the cute, clueless boy,’” the other said, a warm yet teasing tone used before a kiss was pressed to his exposed temple.

 

Jeremy giggled, melting into the touches even as his mind woke up a little more. “Haha, that’s gay, Michael,” Jeremy teased back. He pressed a few lazy kisses to Michael’s neck, sighing happily. “But then, so am I.”

 

“Glad to hear I’m not the only gay guy in the village,” he heard Michael practically hum out. “But, I’ve gotten to know you better than that, and you’re so much more than just the cute, clueless boy who fell, almost literally, into my life.”

 

Jeremy giggled again. “I _did_ fall. All the way out of that tree because I saw something red. Could barely catch my breath and seeing you did not make it any easier. And I’m still kinda clueless, but I’m _your_ clueless boy,” Jeremy nuzzled against him affectionately.

 

“Mm, yes, but I was trying to be _nice_ ,” Michael said around a laugh before there was another soft squeeze around his midsection.

Jeremy untucked himself from Michael’s neck, not pulling away from his embrace. He looked up at Michael with soft, warm eyes, smiling so fondly. “I’m glad I fell,” he murmured, kissing Michael’s lips gently.

 

The kiss was returned, though it was soft and telling. Of what, Jeremy couldn’t tell, but it filled him up with a warm feeling that he knew he adored. “I am too, and I want to let you be known as more than the boy who fell into my life.” There was a gentle shift, and Jeremy could see the shine of something silver with shining stones of red and blue each on the side of a purple gem. “I want you to be known as the boy who fell into my life and stole my heart, who changed me for the better and made me the happiest person alive. Jeremy, will you marry me?”

 

Jeremy’s eyes went wide, focusing on the ring in shock and awe. His brain was buzzing with a million doubts: they were too young, they were in the middle of an almost war, Jeremy still had so much to learn, and on and on and on. But every single doubt was overpowered by the amazing, beautiful, _intense_ feeling that Michael wanted to marry him. And beyond that, that Michael wanted to spend the rest of his life with Jeremy. Slowly, he nodded, reaching out a shaky hand towards Michael’s cheek. “...Yes... oh god, Michael yes!” Jeremy basically shouted, cupping Michael’s cheek and kissing him over and over again, even as tears started to fall down his cheeks.

He could feel Michael laughing a bit into the kiss, and he knew it was from the joy they both felt, as it was almost overwhelming through the bond. Jeremy felt the arms around him shift to hold him better as Michael kissed him back.

  
After just this joyous overwhelming feeling, he felt Michael finally pull away as the other let out a shaky, wet laugh. “I know we’re young an’ everything, and we aren’t gonna get married right when everything’s done, but it’s just a promise, y’know? That eventually, one day when we’re ready, we’ll do it,” Michael explained through some sniffling before Jeremy felt and watched Michael put the ring on his finger. “You get me?”

 

Jeremy nodded, Michael’s words soothing some of the quiet doubts in the back of his head. “I love you so much, Micah.” Joy was still bubbling through him, and he leant up to kiss the happy tear tracks trailing down Michael’s cheeks. Then, Jeremy looked down at the ring, admiring it. “They’re the exact shade as us... so pretty... thank you Michael,” he murmured.

 

“I wanted to try to get it as close as possible, so I’m glad it’s the exact shade,” Michael said in reply, resting his head onto Jeremy’s shoulder. He heard Michael let out a shaky sigh before he heard him say, “God, I don’t know why that was so nerve-wracking...”

 

“Dunno, I already told you I wanna marry you one day,” Jeremy mumbled. He was feeling so much right then. Joy was the biggest feeling, followed very, _very_ closely by love. Excitement was there. And pride; Michael wanted him, wanted him so much. Protectiveness, he wanted Michael safe even more now, because it meant they could get married. And there was also a renewed sense of determination. He was going to marry Michael one day, but the SQUIP needed to be gone before then. It was all a little much, feeling so much at once, but for the first time, Jeremy didn’t feel the need to hide or calm down. No, he just felt the need to be even closer to Michael right then.

 

“Yeah, I know, but still.” Jeremy felt Michael press a kiss to his cheek before Michael nestled close, the fading sunset lighting up the room and seeming to set the loving, romantic tone of the room. “Now it’s a promise that you’ll always be able to remember, whenever you look at your hand.”

 

Jeremy felt his heart swell even bigger, his love grow even stronger. He hummed happily, kissing Michael over and over, each kiss slow and lazy but filled to the brim with emotion. He wasn’t in a hurry now, Michael had promised him forever, so they had forever to love each other. A thought washed over him. “Did everyone else know you were gonna do this? Because everyone kept looking at you funny today.”

 

“Yeah, I didn’t tell them when, just when the time was right, so Chrissy was especially on me about that,” Michael admitted before leading Jeremy back into another stream of lazy, love-filled kisses. “But it’s done, so let’s just enjoy now an’ worry later, yeah?”

Jeremy sighed happily, nodding. He snuggled back down into the crook of Michael’s shoulder, pressing a continuous stream of lazy kisses to Michael’s neck. His hand with the ring resting on Michael’s chest, so Jeremy could keep looking at it. He kept giggling softly ever now and again, bursts of joy running through him wildly.

 

 

 

Even if things were tough over the next few months, Jeremy would just need to remind himself of the love he had. The rest of the summer passed by, and so did the birthdays of his friends and even his dad by the time they made it through a good portion of the fall. More missions had been made and completed, getting them further into the Inside and getting them more intel.

 

It was the mid winter, getting close to a year since Jeremy decided to leave, that Jenna came up to him and told him that Michael’s birthday was coming up.

 

“What am I supposed to even get him, Brooke? I mean, he _proposed_! How can I even come close to something as special as that?!” Jeremy and Brooke were sitting on Michael’s couch on one of Jeremy’s days off. Brooke had stopped by to pick up the charm he had been working on, and he had engaged her to help with his problem.

“Well, trying to ‘come close’ doesn’t mean to one-up him or anything. Michael loves you, Jeremy, and whatever you do, he’ll love,” she reassured him with a warm smile. After a beat of silence though, she spoke up again. “... That’s not what you wanna hear though, right?”

 

“I just want him to know how much he means to me, Brooke. I want to show him, and I don’t know how,” Jeremy mumbled, looking down at his lap as he searched his thoughts for _something_ that might be good enough. Michael was always telling him how smart he was, why couldn’t that apply now?

 

“Well, why don’t you just do what you think shows him how much you love him? It could be a day-in or you doing some of his favorite things with him or even pampering him,” she suggested before drinking some of the hot tea she had.

 

Jeremy blinked, then looked up at Brooke with a smile. An idea had started forming in his mind and he needed to get started soon if it was going to be done in time. “Thank you Brooke!” Jeremy cried, jumping up from the couch. He pressed a quick kiss to her forehead and ran upstairs to get what he needed for his plan.

 

“Uh, you’re welcome?” Brooke called back from downstairs, clearly confused but trying to show her enthusiasm and support.

 

 

 

  
Michael’s birthday was a few days later, and thankfully, Jeremy had everything ready.

 

Jeremy had woken up before Michael, as usual, but he stayed in bed until his boyfriend (fiancé!) woke up.

 

Michael grumbled as he started to wake, as per usual, grabbing Jeremy and nuzzling against his shoulder in the process. “Mm...”

 

Jeremy chuckled but didn’t protest. “Happy birthday, sweetheart,” he cooed, pressing a slow kiss to Michael’s forehead. “I can cuddle for a little while, but I need to get started on breakfast soon.”

 

“Mm...” Whether Michael was awake enough to understand what Jeremy said was unclear, but when he went to get started, Michael let him go and curled up a bit more under the sheets.

 

“Wait here until I come to get you, alright?” Michael had sort of nodded, so Jeremy took it as an agreement. He hurried out of the room, pausing only to knock at the other bedroom door as he went past. He then got started on cooking up the French toast (Michael’s second favorite breakfast, but he still refused to eat Jeremy’s pancakes, even if he had long stopped burning them).

 

Not long before they were all done, Mom wandered into the kitchen, wrapped in a dressing gown and looking better rested than she had the whole time Jeremy had known her. “Ah, great! You’re up! Can you please set the table? Breakfast is almost ready and I need to grab Michael in a sec.” She nodded and within minutes, everything was set.

 

He ran upstairs to grab Michael, who was sitting up in bed still looking a little sleepy. “C’mon, Micah. Breakfast is ready.” He pressed a quick kiss to Michael’s forehead and gently pulled him towards the door.

 

“Mm, you didn’t have to make me breakfast,” Michael assured him as he got him out of bed and through the door. “I mean, it smells amazing, really, but you didn’t have to.”

 

“I wanted to,” Jeremy assured him. “Although, it wasn’t just us I was cooking for...”

 

Jeremy grinned as he pulled Michael into the kitchen, letting his gaze fall onto his mom. It had been three months since their last real meal together, and even then, it had been cut short because Mom had been feeling so tired. She waved over at Michael. “G’morning, Michael.” She even sounded healthier than she had before.

 

At that, Michael’s eyes widened as he stood in the entryway for the kitchen. He seemed to be in honest shock before he booked it, bringing his mom in for a big hug, burying his face into her shoulder.

“Hey! I’ve missed you too, baby.” His mom wrapped him in a big hug, looking more relaxed and happier than Jeremy had ever seen her. Upon hearing Michael’s stammered question, she chuckled. “I’m on a three-day forced absence by order of Elder Partridge. Jeremy organised everything. He can be... shockingly persuasive when he wants to be,” she mused, and Jeremy shot them both a cheeky grin. He felt happiness bloom in his chest at the sight before him, glad that Michael was enjoying the first part of his present.

 

It honestly looked like Michael was going to cry, but out of joy thankfully.

  
After that, the three sat and ate together, though Michael seemed to be too overwhelmingly happy to really talk or do much during breakfast. Jeremy kept their ankles hooked together while they ate, as they always did. Michael’s mom and Jeremy kept the room from being silent, chattering happily about what spells Jeremy had learnt recently.

 

When breakfast was finished, Jeremy got up to clean the dishes, ignoring the protests from Michael. “You spend some time with Mom. She went digging and found a few board games to play, so go choose one for us all,” Jeremy instructed with a wink and a small kiss on his forehead. He quickly cleaned up everything, feeling proud at how happy Michael seemed so far.

 

He could see Michael going with his mom and choosing a board game out of the bunch, as well as the two sharing another embrace. When Jeremy finally came out from cleaning and putting everything away, he was brought into one as well. “Jere, thank you _so much_ ,” he muttered out, a kiss pressed to his cheek before Michael pulled back, looking the happiest he’d seen in a long time.

 

Jeremy flushed a little, grinning. “It’s not _that_ big of a deal. She’s your mom after all, she should spend your birthday with you! She was _there_ after all!” He nuzzled a little against Michael’s shoulder, happiness radiating off of him.

 

A warm, goofy laugh passed Michael’s lips before he settled down with Jeremy then. “I mean yeah, you’re right, but still. Thanks a lot, Jeremy.” He reached over then, intertwining their fingers, running a finger along the ring Jeremy still wore for a second.

 

Jeremy shot him a soft smile, pecking his check before pulling away. “You’re welcome, Michael. Now c’mon! Mom is threatening to play without us.” He dragged Michael over to where his mom was setting up their first game.

 

Throughout the course of the day, every one of their friends arrived and joined in their gaming session. Eventually, after Michael’s mom had cooked lunch for everybody, Jeremy declared it was time for presents.

 

Brooke had gotten him a box of homemade chocolates, with the caramel in them provided by Christine. Jenna had gotten him a tablet of his own (so you don’t have to carry round all those papers!), Jeremy’s dad (through Jeremy himself) had made him a brand new ingredients knife for his gathering, and his mom had given him a scrapbook, telling him to look through it later (Jeremy knew it was full of family pictures, and most of them had Noel in them).

 

Jeremy himself had made Michael a new patch for his hoodie, a rainbow rectangle with a heart in the center, which was colored red and blue and which swirled into each other.

 

He knew that Michael was a very emotional person, but he definitely showed it all today, especially by the end of the present-giving. After the last gift, Jeremy’s, he latched right into him and gave him a plentiful amount of kisses on his face. “Thank you guys, thank you so much.” He had been saying that a lot too, but it just seemed to be more and more endearing each time he said it.

 

Jeremy had hugged him close and pecked his forehead gently. “I’ve got one more present for you, but I’m saving it for later, okay?” he had whispered into Michael’s hair. “This one is extra special.”

 

Michael pulled back for a second, raising a curious brow at Jeremy before just going back and burying his face into the crook of Jeremy's neck. "Alright, I'll wait for my private gift."

 

Everyone left before dinner, and Jenna (at Jeremy’s request) told Michael that he was to stay home with his mom for the next couple of days. Dinner wasn’t anything too spectacular, but his mom did cook while Jeremy and Michael cuddled on the couch. Finally, Jeremy dragged Michael up to their room, pulling out a small wooden box. “This... it’s hard to explain. It might sting a little but I promise it’s worth it. Trust me?”

 

Though he looked confused for a moment by what Jeremy said, Michael just nodded as he looked down at the box, obviously curious.

 

“Okay, sit down on the bed. Get comfy because this can take a little while. Then roll up your sleeve on you... left arm. Hold it out for me, okay?” Michael did as instructed and Jeremy climbed onto the bed next to him. He put the box down and pulled out an apple wood wand with a rose quartz set into the handle, and a bottle of what looked like ink.

 

Holding Michael’s arm still, Jeremy dipped the wand into the ink and started to draw on Michael’s skin, intensely focused. It did sting a little, like someone was scratching that area (Jeremy remembered from when he did it on himself) but Michael didn’t do much other than the occasional hiss of discomfort.

 

Eventually, Jeremy let go, huffing happily. “There!” The design was simple, just a couple of runes and a custom sigil, but within seconds of it being finished, the ink faded, almost like it had been absorbed.

 

"Now, I honestly have no idea what the fuck you did besides draw some runes and a sigil I don't recognize into my arm, so you're gonna have to elaborate on what y'just did with me, Jere," Michael said with a laugh.

 

“It’s a very old, very rare spell I found. Only works for soul bonded people,” Jeremy explained, rolling up his own sleeve on his right arm. He held it out, wrist up, and suddenly the runes and sigil appeared back on, softly glowing blue on Michael’s arm and red on Jeremy’s. “It’s linked directly to our souls, like a way of showing how healthy they are and if they’re interacting at all. You ever want to know how I’m doing, you can just bring up your tattoo by thinking about it. And I can do the same. It’s like, a way so we’re always linked. No matter what, I’m with you.” Jeremy paused, looking away sort of embarrassed. “‘Course, I can remove them if you want. You need both for it to work and since yours is new, I can take it off easily.”

 

"If you even think about seriously removing this, Jeremy, I'm going to yell at you. This is so amazing, you need to tell me how I'm able to figure out how this all works so I know," Michael said, and the excitement and pure joy was radiating in waves off of him as he stared at their marked arms in awe.

 

Jeremy perked up, smiling happily as he started reciting what he learnt. “Well if we are close to each other, they’ll flare up naturally, like now. And you can turn it off easily, just sort of... want it to? It’s hard to explain, but if you don’t want it out, it won’t be out.” Jeremy demonstrated, his tattoo appearing and disappearing a couple of times. “And if you ever want to know how I’m doing, just sort of focus on either me, our bond or the tattoo. It’ll glow up and depending on how bright and colorful it is, shows how healthy my soul is. Like now, it’s really colorful and it’s actually glowing. If it wasn’t glowing or it’s grey, my soul is drained or damaged.”

 

From the corner of his vision, Jeremy could see Michael nodding along as he looked down at his own marking on his arm. "How and when did you learn to do this?"

 

Jeremy shrugged, trying to appear casual but failing spectacularly.“I-er... got curious? Elder Partridge gave me free access to her library, so I spend a lot of my free time in there. I found a book on soulmates and well, one thing led to another. As for _how_ I learnt it... well there were a few... failed attempts. But I made the wand myself!” Jeremy grinned brightly, eyes glittering with pride and happiness. Michael liked it! He was feeling pretty proud of not only his magical ability but also the fact that Michael had really seemed to like not only this, but the whole day.

 

Michael was staring at him for some time before he just grabbed Jeremy, bringing him into a sudden hug and burying his face into the other's next. "Jeremy, I... How did I get so lucky to have you?" his fiancé ( _fiancé!_ ) asked him against his neck.

 

Jeremy chuckled, wrapping his arms around Michael and pressing an awkward kiss to his hair. “You rescued me, so you sort of just took me for yourself anyway. I’m the lucky one, anyway. I got taken by you,” he murmured, meaning every word.

 

"Oh shush, just let me enjoy this moment and you," Michael said, all of the love and adoration in his voice almost overwhelming.

 

 

 

Everything from then on went well, from their missions to their own lives. They were working now to finish out the last of the kinks in their plan to scope out the Processor, where the SQUIP would be during the summer and where everything else important happened Inside. Michael and Jeremy were both working hard, though Michael was staying later with Jenna to fully work out all of the plans.

  
Michael came home a bit later on Jeremy's day off, practically collapsing into bed as he let out a sigh. "Sorry for bein' back so late."

 

“S’okay, love. You alright?” Jeremy asked, scooting closed to Michael and running his fingers through his hair.

 

"Yeah, 'just exhausted and stressed. We're gonna be so close to the Processor when we scope it out, and Jenna and I are trying to plan for if any unplanned situation happens and what to do for you and I," he muttered out, his voice partially muffled by the sheets.

 

Jeremy leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of Michael’s neck. He started rubbing Michael’s back, massaging some of the tense muscles to relax. “We’ve still got weeks before the mission, I’m sure between us all we’ll figure everything out.” Jeremy’s tattoo flared up, and he shot it a quickly glance. “You’re wearing yourself out, love. Here, let me help you a bit, just for tonight.” Jeremy pressed another kiss to the back of Michael’s neck, letting some energy pulse through while he continued his massage.

 

A soft sigh of relief passed Michael's lips as he continued, though the one lying down shifted his head so his words weren't partially obscured by the sheets. "I know, but we've got a lot to prepare for, just 'ncase. I don't want anything to go wrong, and I don't wanna anything t'happen to you."

 

“I know as long as I’m with you, I’ll be safe, I trust you, Micah. Nothing’s ever gonna change that.” Jeremy continued to massage Michael, calming him as best he could.

 

 

After that, Michael seemed to relax a little bit in terms of workload (he definitely took after his mom with diving head-first into what he cared about). Thankfully, he managed to get what he needed to do done by the next week on a day that was very important and dear to the both of them: their first anniversary.

 

Jeremy was sitting shirtless on the bed while Michael rubbed the special cream over his back. After almost a year of the treatment, the scars, which once looked so angry and painful, were starting to fade. “How’s it look back there, Micah?”

 

"Pretty good, Jere. I told you that it's been getting better overtime," Michael called to him as he finished rubbing the cream into his skin. Jeremy felt a gentle 'tap-tap' on his back to let him know that Michael was all done. "I'm sure that if we keep doing this, they'll eventually fade away to tiny lines or maybe even completely."

 

“Awesome! I’m pretty sure the burns will stick around but everything else is looking loads better.” Jeremy grinned, slipping his shirt on. He looked sort of thoughtful. “You know, if it wasn’t for these stupid scars, I probably would never had the courage to ask you about love. I was just so... relaxed and calm after you had seem them and touched them so gently, more than I had ever been, and it sort of slipped out before I could stop it.”

 

"Well, I'm really glad you did ask, because otherwise we wouldn't be celebrating our anniversary together today,” Michael told him before pressing a kiss to his cheek.

 

“Mmm. Me too. Best mistake I ever made besides falling out that tree,” Jeremy chuckled, pressing a quick kiss to Michael’s nose. He wrapped his arms around Michael’s neck, enjoying the slight stretch thanks to the height difference. It wasn’t much, just enough that he could feel it.

 

"Honestly, it was." Michael leant=ed himself down, pressing a kiss to Jeremy's other cheek before pulling back. "Well, now that you're all ready, we should get going so we can enjoy our little day-out."

 

“Yay! And it’s the perfect day for it too!” Jeremy cheered, peering out the window happily. Honestly, it really was. The sun was out, there was little to no chance of rain, and the was a cool breeze just soft enough to keep everything at the perfect temperature.

 

"Exactly." When Jeremy turned, he saw Michael waving him to come out.

  
On the way out, they grabbed the basket they had for their picnic lunch before they began heading to the perfect spot that Chrissy and Brooke told them about. Michael lead the way, and it wasn’t long before they found the spot.

 

The first thing that came to mind when he saw it was green. It was hidden just underneath a large weeping willow tree, causing everything to be covered by a light green curtain. The patch of rocks off over by the stream was covered in moss and the grass was rich and healthy. Small patches of dappled sunlight glittered through the branches. “Oh my god Micha, it’s beautiful!” Jeremy cried.

 

"Brooke and Christine _did_ tell us about it, so I had no doubt." Jeremy got a soft smile from Michael before he was lead over to sit under the tree, though not before they set up the blanket to sit on and got some of the food out.

 

Jeremy happily nibbled on a cucumber slice before he scooted next to Michael, a thoughtful look on his face. He nodded to himself when he was pressed right against his fiancé. ‘ _Perfect...Yeah, that’s about right_.’

 

He felt an arm wrap around his side then, and he felt a hand gently tap on his leg. "I have something to give you, if you're willing to part with snacking for a little bit."

 

Jeremy nodded, quickly finishing off his mouthful and turning his head to look up at Michael.

 

His gaze quickly shifted to what Michael was taking out of the basket: a photo album that seemed to be decorated, though it seemed to already almost be full with how the pages and cover seemed to fall. Across a section of the cover read 'First Year Together' in the neat cursive that Michael barely wrote it. "For you."

 

Almost reverently, Jeremy took the book and cradled it gently in his hands. After a quick glance up at Michael, who nodded, Jeremy opened the book and started leafing through the pages. Every page was filled with picture of Jeremy, Michael,and their friends. Sometimes it was just Jeremy, sometimes just Michael, but in every picture, they always looked so happy. The happiest ones were without a doubt the ones of them together. Jeremy’s wasn’t even aware that he was crying until Michael gently wiped away a stray tear. “Oh, Micah, I love it! Thank you, thank you so much. Where did you get all of these pictures from?”

 

"Some are ones I've taken, some are from others, though Chrissy and Brooke really helped me," he explained. When he finally turned to the last page, he saw it was left blank, but the caption underneath it read 'First Anniversary!'

 

Jeremy looked up at Michael, grinning. “You have a camera on you? Let’s get the final one.” Jeremy had honestly never felt happier. You could see his progress from an awkward, emotionally stunted teenager to the fiancé of one of the most emotional men on the planet in this book. You could see how Jeremy fell in love with Michael all over again every few days. You could see just how much they care for each other. Jeremy’s heart swelled and he was choking back happy tears.

 

Out from the basket came a camera as well (he noticed the only kind they seemed to have out here were the instant-print kind). Michael held it up above them, angling it down at the two as his free arm wrapped around Jeremy. "Alright, I'm going to take the picture on three."

 

Jeremy nodded and grinned up at the camera. “One.” He felt so in love with Michael. “Two.” This really was perfect. “Three!” Except as Michael said three, his arm tightened, pulling Jeremy closer and he pressed a kiss onto Jeremy’s temple. Jeremy was caught mid giggle from the action, eyes closed as the flash went off.


	14. Numb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... The fluff hopefully lessened the blow of this chapter... Don't hate us.  
> Mara's words on this:
> 
> 'Oh look! We made it worse! So much worse :)))))))'
> 
> ALSO warning: Complete (sometimes almost complete) emotional disassociation starts at (and will continue into the next chapter), "So he made it stop."

“Okay, so as soon as Jeremy and I have gotten up the paint at the factory, we need to make our way over to the first checkpoint here.” Michael pointed at the map. “From there, Brooke will be waiting in the sewers to take our coveralls.” He began walking around a little, reviewing the plan mentally as he spoke. Jeremy grinned, feeling a burst of pride. It was rare Michael actually behaved like the leader of a rebel group. “Once we’re clean we head over to the Processor via the southern entrance. Jeremy’s bio-metrics are still recorded, as we have already found out, so we can get in, snoop around and get out. Ideally we need to make our way up to the Brain level and see if we can get a closer look at the pods, but we will be getting hold of the guard schedule either way.”

 

Everyone else in the little briefing room (basically the rest of the girls) just nodded along to Michael's debriefing of their plan for today. They had practiced this through so many times and knew what to do like the back of their hand, and Jeremy knew it.

 

He knew this was good practice and everything, but for the most part, he knew it was Michael’s worry that was getting to him. The bond was bubbling away with it and it took everything Jeremy had to not just siphon it off. He needed to be at his best, just as much as Michael. “Remember, if anything happens, we will send out a distress signal via the crystals. Jenna, it’s your job to get whoever you can _out_ , understand?” Michael was still pacing.  


Jenna nodded from where she was sitting, giving a little mock-salute. "I got it, Mr. Rebel Leader, sir." It was obvious she was trying to help get Michael to relax by being a little less serious than she'd typically be during a debriefing.

 

Jeremy tensed, knowing how fine a line Michael was walking at that point. He could either laugh or explode. Luckily, it was the latter. “Ha ha ha, very funny, Miss Second-in-Command. Just make sure you’re ready just in case.” Michael relaxed a bit where he stood, and Jeremy did too in his chair.

 

“Brooke, I think it’s time to get us camouflaged.” Michael nodded but Jeremy stopped them before they all left. “Wait! I just have one small thing to ask... you all have code names for when we’re on a mission, so even when they hear us they don’t know who you are. Why don’t I have one? It would make sense now since we’re going so deep in.”

 

“We didn't want to risk it in case they could pin-point you, since you're from the Inside. It's better if you're a more unknown variable, plus you're gonna be with me the whole time," Michael explained before his face softened. "If you want one, though... We could give you one."

 

Jeremy flushed but nodded. He _did_ want one, if for nothing else but to feel more like the others. He still got the voices in his head telling him how they were just keeping him around for intel (not Michael though, he was the only thing they couldn’t make him doubt).  


"I've actually had an idea for a name," Jenna said, and Michael looked over with seeming surprise before waving a hand for her to offer. "Since Michael's Red Robin, what if you were Bluejay?"

 

Jeremy instantly perked up, nodding happily. “I really like that. Thanks Jenna.” Jeremy shot her a shy smile, feeling his doubts calm down a bit. Now he could focus properly on the mission. Brooke ushered them to what they called the camouflage room where they kept the clothes and makeup, to get ready.

 

 

 

It took some time, which explained why they got here so early. After they did get ready though, they all walked together in the cool spring weather to head to the Inside.  


The walk was in silence, as everyone tried to calm their nerves. This was the riskiest mission they had ever launched and it was weighing heavily on everyone’s minds. When they reached the breach, Jeremy stopped everyone, moving to do final checks on their costumes before getting the coveralls on. “You got your lapel all messed up, Micah,” Jeremy scolded gently, fixing it for him. “You always seem to mess them up.” Once they were smooth, Jeremy stood back and gave him a once over. “Okay, you look smart enough. I gotta say though, you look good in a suit.” Maybe he was trying to lighten the mood a little, but hey, it helped calm his own anxieties a little bit.

 

Michael couldn't help but let out a small chuckle at that, looking down at Jeremy with a soft but nearly unreadable expression. "I mean, I'd hope so. When we get married-"

  
"Michael, you know it sucks to fifth wheel, right?"

  
"Jenna, please, I'm having a _moment_ here."

 

“Yeah, we’ll have your _moment_ later. I don’t want to have to hover around here longer than we need to.”

 

As much as Jeremy didn’t want to admit it, Jenna had a point. The longer they waited, the more likely they were to get caught. “Don’t worry, Micah. We can be disgustingly cute when we get home tonight instead. Away from such _harsh judgement_.” He giggled, feeling more comfortable. They could do this, it was simple. Get in, cause a distraction, get the info, get out.

 

Michael laughed along with him, and he could feel that they both were a bit more comfortable now. "Yeah, and I'll be looking forward to it. C'mon."

 

Slipping on their coveralls, Jeremy, Michael, and Brooke started making their way through the sewers carrying the paint buckets in silence. When they got to their destination, Michael went up first, followed quickly by Jeremy. It was always shocking to see Michael lose his expression and his _personality_ whenever he put on his Inside face, but then again, it must have been the same the other way around.

 

They were quickly given their materials, and as the grate cover slipped back on, Jeremy could feel a little pulse through their bond, which he was able to know was Michael asking him if he was ready.

 

Jeremy’s nod was barely perceptible, but Michael knew it well by that point. They started towards the nearby factory, which was empty for now. They had an hour tops. As soon as they were inside, Jeremy’s posture drooped and he put down his can of paint. Still, no words were spoken. They ripped the lids off and pulled out the ladles. Jeremy scooped the ladle into the hot pink paint and flung the colorful liquid at the walls. It left a satisfying smear. Then, focusing hard, he made the excess spread itself around using his powers. It made splattered outline of a leaf. Looking over, he saw Michael was still going.

 

When Michael pulled away with his obnoxiously green paint, Jeremy saw that he made it look similar to a shining sun. They caught each other's eyes for a moment before they continued to do this around the rest of the factory, making the splatters into symbols of nature, what no one Inside ever got to see with bright, obnoxious colors.

 

When their hour was nearly up, Jeremy grabbed the paint buckets and the wooden ladles and tossed them into the waste disposal, knowing it lead to the incinerator. With all the evidence gone, Jeremy lead the way back to where Brooke was waiting. Still in silence, they stripped out of their coveralls and Jeremy spent a second straightening up Michael’s lapels once more (how did he always mess them up?!) before leading the way to the Processor. When the alarm started up, and patrols started running past them, Jeremy had to fight to keep from grinning; the plan was working. Michael was having a different reaction.

 

He could sense it through their bond, and see a slight twitch in his perfect persona: he was nervous and anxious, especially since the patrols were passing right by them. Michael was obviously trying hard to keep it under wraps, but he had been nervous up to the point right before the mission started.

 

Nerves were something Jeremy knew how to hide very well, so he siphoned off a chunk, knowing that with so many patrols around, Michael would need to be perfect. Instantly, Jeremy was struck with his stomach clenching and the familiar nausea. Jeremy almost laughed. This combination, mixed with him being back Inside, really brought back memories.

 

As Jeremy worked to help Michael, more and more patrols came passing by, and there were some faces Jeremy had seen before when he lived Inside, though some were new. Some were just from passing by at one point or another, but others…

 

Jeremy knew they were screwed the moment one of the taller figures not only focused on them, but stopped, causing the others in his group to crash into him.

  
“Jeremy?” Jake sounded as close to confused as was possible while still on the shot. Every guard suddenly stiffened and turned to face him.

  
“Shit, run!” Jeremy half screamed, starting off in the escape route, reaching into his pocket and squeezing the crystal, activating the distress signal.

 

Michael was practically spitting our curses as they ran, the patrols slowly realizing what was happening and trailing the pair.

 

Jeremy was certain he had never been so afraid in his life. And when a figure dressed in a patrol uniform stepped out in front of him, Jeremy almost didn’t have to think as he launched himself at them.

 

In the split second before they crashed, a memory come up, making him focus. His sparing with Michael, going over how to punch safely. “Remember, thumb on top of your fist, and make sure you get some momentum into the swing.” Jeremy had been taking practice shots at the panels. Jeremy hadn’t seen the point back then.

 

Now, launching himself at the guards, he was immensely happy he knew how to punch. The guard went down in a single strike and they kept running.

 

Michael called for Jeremy to follow down some ways and further down some alleys since some of their escape routes kept getting cut off.

  
Their luck seemed to run out, however, when they ran into a dead end in an alley, and if they left, they would easily be caught by any guards.

 

The first patrol ran past them, causing a sigh of relief from Jeremy. They could do this, there had to be a way out of this. He turned to Michael, glad for the chaos allowing them some time to speak. “Michael, what do we do?”

 

As he looked over at Michael, he could practically see the gears turning in his head before he seemed to settle on something. It wasn’t good, whatever it was, by the odd look of acceptance he had. “Jeremy, I need you to promise you’re going to do what I say. Please, promise me.”  


It wasn’t even a matter of choice. “I promise. Micah, what are we going to do? Please tell me? I’m scared.” Jeremy trusted Michael completely. He knew they could get out of this together though, he knew they would be fine. Michael always came up with a plan.

 

Michael nodded then, walking over to him before he pressed a tender, meaningful kiss to his lips. It was quick, but it did a lot, including something Jeremy couldn’t realize now, but only later once it wore off: he felt nothing, at least in terms for Michael. Michael, who pulled away, his wand out as he was muttering a few things. Michael, who Jeremy realized put a short paralysis and camouflage spell on him.

  
“Stay here and be quiet. They’ll take me, and you leave when the girls come to get you. I promised you I’d never let you go back to this life, and this is the only way to keep it.

  
“I love you.” With that, he watched as Michael, with tears that ruined his makeup streaming down his face, turned after dropping his wand and went out of the alleyway to let himself get caught.

 

Jeremy watched curiously as the empty, _wrong_ feeling in his chest echoed loudly. He watched as Michael stood up straight, shoulders back and head held high. He watched as Michael surrendered, arms in the air and face set in a small, proud smile. He watched as Michael was lead away, shooting him a quick glance before following without hesitation, looking so much like Noel must have looked all those years ago. He watched and felt nothing even as his soul was tearing itself apart.

  
It didn’t take long for the paralysis to start to wear off, but by the time it did, it was too late. Michael had been gone for a few minutes, would have been well into custody by then. Jeremy couldn’t have gotten him out with an army. It was about then that Michael’s spell also wore off and later, Jeremy would be glad that the camouflage spell concealed his sound too. He _screamed_ as soon as he had realized what had happen, his chest bursting with pain. Tears flooded his cheeks and Jeremy’s throat ripped itself raw as he fought to move his body, move his hands, move _something_ that he could use to get Michael back. He fell out of his position, too exhausted to really do much besides cry and shake.

 

Jeremy had no idea how much time had passed when Jenna and Brooke finally arrived to get him. He hadn’t realized the camouflage spell had worn off, but he had been whimpering at this point so it didn’t alert anyone.

  
“OK, we need to get Red Robin and go, so where is he?” Jenna asked as Brooke helped Jeremy as she somehow managed to pick him up and toss him over her shoulder like a sack.

 

“Gone,” Jeremy shakily whispered, his voice barely holding on. _Everything_ hurt so much, his head, his heart, his body. Everything. It hurt to exist, knowing that Michael had given himself up to save Jeremy because of a stupid fucking promise. How was he supposed to live with himself knowing what they were going to do to him? Knowing that Noel would be part of his breaking team? Knowing that he had _designed_ something they would use to torture Michael with? It may as well be him holding the whip at this point.

 

The two girls seemed to exchange some looks that Jeremy was too out-of-it to catch before Brooke told him, “We’re heading back, but you need to stay quiet, OK?” Even if Jeremy was whiplashed by this, he could tell that he wasn’t the only one.

 

Jeremy nodded pathetically, barely a twitch of his head. He didn’t have the energy to make a sound anyway. He didn’t want to do anything. He was supposed to be curling up with Michael in a few hours, cuddling and kissing. Hell, they were doing that a few hours ago. Go back a day and they were eating lunch under the willow tree, teasing each other and playing around. If Jeremy had known this was his last morning with Michael, he never would have gotten out of bed.

 

Getting out of the Inside was a blur to Jeremy, and he barely registered them making it back to the base until he was able to make out his dad’s voice, calling for them and asking how the mission went from some room.  


Even thinking about his _dad_ hurt, knowing that it was his fault that Michael was gone and that Michael was his dad’s friend. His fault his _faulthisfaulthisfault_! Michael was gone because of him. The pain was intense, so intense that Jeremy didn’t register being put down on the blanket pile, nor the quiet voices talking nearby. He just wanted it to stop hurting. He _needed_ it to stop hurting or else he would die from the pain.

 

So he made it stop. Jeremy had learned a lot about his emotions in the year he’d been out, including how to influence them. His emotions were killing him. So he cut them off, locked them up. Michael wouldn’t want him dead after all.

 

The pain stopped abruptly, but this time there was no confusion as to why. He understood perfectly. Slowly, he moved to sit up, bleary eyes trying to focus on the world around him.

 

He could see now that Brooke was talking to his dad with watery eyes while Jenna was sitting down, face in her hands. The emotional turmoil from everyone else was stifling, especially once he heard Jenna sniffle and try to stifle a sob.

 

“So what’s the plan?” Jeremy asked, his voice still rough but sort of monotone. That made sense. He didn’t feel anything. Not curiosity, not worry, not even determination. It would be nice, if he could feel the concept of nice.

 

Brooke and his dad looked over at him, eyes wide and full of what he knew was confusion and concern. “W-what?” Brooke managed to get out before wiping at her eyes messily. “Jeremy, I know you’re upset that he’s gone, but-“

 

“We need to tell everyone something about why he’d missing. And he didn’t want people knowing about this. So what’s the plan?” Jeremy might have felt proud at the fact he had analysed the most important factors of the situation, but he didn’t. The lack of emotions might have been described as peaceful if Jeremy could been understand that concept now.

 

“Jeremy, son, I understand that you want to help, but dealing with grief by diving straight into work doesn’t help.”

 

“I don’t understand what you mean by grief, dad. And I’m only asking the questions that we need a succinct answer to, and soon.” Jeremy shook his head, and normally his nose would be scrunching up with confusion. Instead, his face remained neutral. Not even a quirked eyebrow.

 

Brooke looked oddly at him for a moment before her eyes widened and she gasped. “Jeremy, are... are you _feeling_ right now? Are you feeling _anything_?” She hurried over to his side, gently touching him arm like it would break if she was too rough or quick with her movements.

 

Jeremy shook his head lightly, he had a bit of a headache from crying earlier. “No. It hurt so much I thought I was dying. Then it stopped.” He wasn’t sure exactly why this was relevant, but he wasn’t exactly going to lie. He had no reason to try to hide the truth right now, not from Brooke. He... something-ed her. The word escaped his thoughts, and obviously the feeling that was tied to it was gone, but he did remember it meant a lot to him. He glanced quickly down at where she was touching his arm before looking back up. “I know I’m not physically the strongest, Brooke, but I really don’t think you need to be so gentle. I mean, except for with my head, I do have a bit of a headache right now.”

 

Brooke gasped at that before she seemed to hesitate. It was only for a moment, but she held onto him and brought him into a hug then. “Jeremy...”

  
He didn’t understand _why_ she was doing this, or why his dad was looking at him so oddly, or why Jenna seemed to start crying even louder then.

 

With everyone acting so strangely, Jeremy knew nothing would get done. So he lightly rubbed his hand over her back, remembering that it was something people did she someone hugged you. “I don’t understand why everyone is acting so... strangely, but I apologize if it’s something I did.” Perhaps he had said something wrong? He was being practical but they didn’t seem to realize that. Still, he knew they meant a lot to him, even if he couldn’t exactly understand _why_ , so if they were acting strangely, he would assist them however he could.

 

His dad went over then, putting his hand down on Jeremy’s shoulder as he looked at him in a weird way he couldn’t understand. “It’s not you, son, don’t worry. We just... need some time to get over how upset we are. I know you don’t get it right now, but you should start working on what we should tell everyone else and the plan on what to do, and we’ll join you later, alright?”

 

Jeremy nodded, still holding Brooke. She didn’t try to move in the slightest. “I’m not worried-“ Whatever that felt like. “-I just am. But I can do that, if you can’t right now. I’ll figure out something.” He didn’t try to stand up or move yet. Brooke was holding him too tightly and he remembered that sometimes people just needed hugs. He couldn’t exactly remember why but he would respect it if that’s what Brooke needed right then.

 

“Thank you son.” His hand patted Jeremy’s shoulder for a minute before he gently patted Brooke’s shoulder. She seemed to understand something then, pulling back then and rubbing her eyes with the end of her cardigan sleeve before hugging his dad.  


Once he was extracted from Brooke’s hold, he stood up. Vaguely he noticed how everyone else moved oddly. They would slow and speed up, or move their hands or just waste energy doing something. When Jeremy moved, it was fluid and efficient. Why waste time doing such unnecessary extra parts? Now that he was up, he walked over to a table and started writing out ideas.

 

After some time, he heard someone walk over and stand next to him. “Hey, what ideas do you have?” He heard the exhausted voice of Jenna ask him this.

 

“Well the most believable version of where Michael is would be one that’s closest to the truth. We were out together, collecting some ingredients for a spell, and wandered too close to a new patrol route. They spotted us and gave chase. Michael hid me and lead them away, pretending that he was running home.” Jeremy only looked up at Jenna when he had finished explaining. “You came and found me after, and we saw Michael getting led off.” Jeremy noticed how tired Jenna looked, which was strange. She had been said earlier today that she had been sleeping very well when he had asked about her insomnia.

 

Something was off about the look in her eyes as she let out a heavy sigh and rested her forehead in a hand. “That’s probably the best thing we could come up with, since there is some truth in it... Thanks, Jeremy.” Even her voice sounded exhausted as she spoke.

 

“You may want to get some rest, Jenna. You sound really tired. I can talk to the others about some of the plans I made if you don’t feel up to it.” It wouldn’t make sense for Jenna to stick around if she wasn’t at one-hundred percent. If she got herself ill, then she’d be no use at all. “I do have one question though: what sort of angle should my plans head? Because I’m sure they’ll be expecting us to keep gathering intel via breach, but we don’t if we don’t, we can’t stop the SQUIP.” Jeremy thought there might have been more to it than that, but he couldn’t place why he thought that going back in as soon as possible might be the right idea. He ignored the thought for now, it wasn’t useful.

 

“Well, I think that we need to wait and think of a plan all together. If we go in right away, it’ll lead us into a trap of them expecting us. Plus...” Jenna hesitated for a moment before she took a deep breath. “Well, if we can try to figure out a way to get Michael back, that would be ideal.”  


“We can’t,” Jeremy said simply. Jenna looked... something. He didn’t recognize the expression anymore but he did know it wasn’t good. He decided that if he elaborated, it might help. He peered down at his paper when he detailed everything he’s need to consider for a rescue mission, even if it wasn’t a logical or smart idea. “He’d have been taken to the Processor and even if I could get in, I wouldn’t be able to get him out, especially in the state he’d be in by that point. If he even was in a state to want to leave anyway. To get him out, should he even decide he wanted that, would take an army and just isn’t feasible with what resources we have.” He looked up at Jenna again and she looked even worse. The explanation didn’t help.

 

“...You’re really going to not even try? Like, come on.” She reached over and turned his arm around before pointing to his blank arm. “You have something right here that can show us the state he’s in, Jeremy! You should know how strong he is, and that he won’t give up so easily. You’re seriously just going to not even _try_?! You’re kidding me, right?! I don’t care if you aren’t feeling anything right now or not, that’s... for fucks sake, that’s a crock of shit!”  


Jeremy barely heard any of that. He was hyper-focused on his arm, knowing what was supposed to be there but being unable to conjure it up. Still, maybe if he did it would stop Jenna yelling. It was making his headache worse. So he focused, hard, thinking about Michael and everything he remembered. It was... detached but the memories were still there. Slowly, the mark started to flicker to life. A pain started in Jeremy’s chest. He continued anyways, unable to stop himself even as Jenna fell silent. He pushed harder and the mark burned brighter.

 

Suddenly, it flared fully to life and it _burned_ like fire on his skin. His chest felt like he would simultaneously collapse in on itself and explode and his entire being was riddled with pain. He barely heard that he was screaming, barely cared that he was crying again, he just _hurt_ so much. He forced his feelings, which had escaped their lock, back down and the pain flickered out with the mark. Shakily, he looked up at Jenna again. “We can’t...” His voice held an echo of emotion but he couldn’t place what. He was suddenly aware that he was physically tired.

 

He could see through how tired he was that Jenna’s expression changed. “Come on, you need to sleep,” she told him before helping him get up and forcing him to lie down in one of the rooms, in one of the hammocks set up. “Sleep, and we’ll figure this out when you’re awake. We’ll be better by then and able to help.”

 

Jeremy lied back and was out in seconds. He hadn’t realized how exhausted he was even though in terms of exercise, he had barely done his usual routine, even with all the running. Still, he found that he flickered out mentally very quickly and maybe he would have been grateful if he could still feel. He didn’t dream. He couldn’t feel enough to dream.

 

 

 

The blackness of sleep only ended when he felt someone gently tapping at his shoulder. When he opened his eyes, no longer exhausted but well-rested, he saw Brooke standing there with a smile, though there was something else in there. “Hey, we’re going to start planning other stuff before we have to go back to the village.”  


Jeremy nodded and dutifully followed Brooke our to the other room. Everyone was watching him carefully, as though he might be dangerous. He didn’t understand the look, so he ignored it and the slight flicker of pain he felt when he realize they might be _scared_ of him. He took his seat and waited for someone to start talking, explaining plans, or asking him questions. The only reason he was willing to help was because he had thought this was the right thing to do once, now he was mostly indifferent. So he didn’t plan on saying anything unless someone said something bad or asked him a question.

 

“From what I heard,” Jenna started, “The SQUIP is coming in two days time now. He wasn’t planned to come until the summer, but after what happened today, he seemed to change his mind. We could try to use this chance to deal with the SQUIP _and_ save Michael all in one swoop.” She seemed to take on the leader role now, which made sense since she was second in command. Jeremy remembered her and Michael talking about how she would take over if he couldn’t ever fulfill his duties, though they way they talked made it seem like they never really expected it to happen.

 

As before, mentioning saving Michael sent Jeremy’s emotions bubbling up, trying to escape their prison. They didn’t make it out, but he did acknowledge what they had reacted to. He decided that maybe speaking up might be better and might help keep them under control. “I know rituals to hold the SQUIP in a set location, but they are complicated. And if the SQUIP will be staying at this Inside until Michael breaks, then he’d likely be taken _with_ the SQUIP. He always had an interest in Michael’s powers and likely plans to use them to help subdue the Naturals. As for getting to them in the first place, we’d need an army to launch a proper attack, need to make it through fifty patrol groups in and around the city, as well as the elite guard posted in the Processor itself. And then we’d need to disconnect all sixty Brains from the Processor to even put the SQUIP in a vulnerable position.”

 

The others at the table were quiet for a good few moments before his father spoke up. “Well, we might not need a whole army. Son, don’t you have friends on the Inside who could help? Rich, Jake, and Chloe.”

 

“They wouldn’t help,” Jeremy stated, knowing it was true. “Insiders don’t really have friends. Although I considered them as such, they couldn’t really feel anything to me. I... do believe my powers might have affected them slightly so they felt a very small amount, but since I don’t feel, they don’t anymore. Even Rich’s shot is too strong for his witch blood to show through anymore. And we’d still need more people than us to get through the Processor, even with a whole arsenal of spells.” Jeremy was certain of everything he had said.

 

“Well, if what we’re saying isn’t going to work, what do _you_ suggest?” Jenna asked, though she seemed to be a little more snappy at him compared to earlier. She seemed to be looking a lot better though, so why?

 

“I don’t.” Jeremy shook his head, almost sadly but he couldn’t feel sadness. “Fighting back as we are doesn’t make logical sense. We are a small group, almost children for the most part, and every other rebel group has been taken down in the past, assimilated. The only reason I’m here still is because I know it meant a lot to me once, and a lot to you and Michael. Otherwise I would be back at the village or back Inside.” His emotions flared up and he flinched a little at the intensity, squashing them back down.

 

Jenna seemed to have something going through her mind before she just looked down at her tablet that she took out. “Jeremy, why don’t you go back for now then? The rest of us will brainstorm for a bit, and someone needs to tell everyone about the story we came up with for what happened to Michael.”

 

Jeremy nodded, standing up smoothly. “That makes sense. I’ll see you all later.” And with that, he left. The walk back to the village was uneventful, although his physical exhaustion started weighing on him again.

 

When he got back to the village, he decided the easiest route would be to simply tell the council. So he made his way up to the meeting room, knocked, and entered, knowing they were in session. “Michael has been taken,” he said in lieu of a greeting when he was allowed in. His voice still was monotone, but that didn’t seem to be the focus of the council’s attention.

 

Everyone seemed to freeze in the room except for Michael’s mom. She got right up from where she was, despite the calls of, “Lynn,” she was given, and went right over to Jeremy with wide, shaken eyes. “Jeremy... this isn’t funny,” she told him, her voice seemingly quivering as she seemed to try to keep a calm face.

 

He shook his head, focusing only on her. “It’s not a joke.” He went on to explain the story he fabricated, right up until before they ended back in the mine. Instead, he said that Jenna was out looking for Brooke to make sure she was alright and had insisted that Jeremy go and tell everyone. “The new route has them passing about another mile away from the wall, so I’d recommend that we keep even further clear of there.”

 

As he finished, he saw that Lynn was physically shaking at this point. Before anyone said anything else, she quietly excused herself out of the room and practically ran out.

 

Jeremy blinked and went to excuse himself. He knew Lynn was likely feeling strong emotions and thought it best to check on her and make sure she didn’t do anything rash. People did rash things when they felt something strong. Jeremy did too, he remembered doing it a few times.

 

When he went to go look for her, he found her back at the house. She was sitting on the floor in the living room, her face in her hands as she was just sobbing her eyes out. Never had he ever seen her so... broken.

 

Jeremy grabbed the box of tissues and knelt down in front of her. He might not be feeling, but he knew she was and that she needed comfort. It was so obvious from everything that she needed it. He didn’t know how to help. “Mom?” he asked, his voice just as neutral but his emotions pushing painfully against their lock.

 

At his voice, Lynn looked up at Jeremy with hazy red eyes. “Jeremy... oh god, I...” She seemed to try to recollect herself, though was miserably failing as she couldn’t stop her crying.

 

He offered her the box of tissues. “You’re hurting. It’s normal to cry when you’re hurting.” He knew the pain emotions could cause, that’s why he turned them off.

 

“Jeremy, I-I know,” she managed to get out before looking closer at him. As she did, her eyes narrowed for a moment before more sadness seemed to take her over. “Oh Jeremy, oh no, you didn’t...”

 

It took a second for him to realize what she was talking about, but when he did, he was sure he’d feel shame. “I thought I was going to die, it hurt so much. I _was_ dying. I’m sorry.” The apology slipped out on its own, along with a whisper of guilt.

  
That seemed to really set her off as she brought him in for a hug, cradling him close. “It hurts, trust me, I know... it hurts so much, but it doesn’t mean you should stop feeling all together,” she muttered out through her own hiccups.

 

“It really hurt, Mom. It really hurt so much.” Jeremy melted slightly into the hug, more than he had with Brooke. This seemed more natural somehow. “I can’t... I can’t...” Jeremy felt his face grow wet with tears even as he sat there, feeling nothing. “I don’t know if I can let them out properly anymore.”

 

He felt her hands begin to run through his hair then as he was held closer. “Jeremy...” Lynn’s voice sounded like it was shattering before he felt a gentle kiss placed to the top of his head.

 

“Mom, what do I do? I don’t think I can let them out even if I wanted to. And I don’t know if I _ever_ want to.” Jeremy let himself be held, the comfort and affection soothing his exhaustion somehow even as he continued impossibly crying. He felt nothing but the tears didn’t stop.

 

“You should want to, Jeremy. I...” She seemed to pause for a moment, thinking on what exactly to say. “Try thinking about Michael and tapping into your bond with him, that’s the only thing I can think of,” she honestly answered, though sounded pained.

 

Jeremy did as he was told, only because he knew Lynn wanted what was best for him. She had given him a home, a family. If she thought he should have them back then it would probably be for the best. As soon as thoughts of Michael popped into his head, his mark stared glowing painfully again. Lynn’s eyes widen in surprise, she had never seen them before, just heard about them.

 

Still, Jeremy pushed forward. He kept pushing until he was overwhelmed in the pain and that horrible feeling in his chest and the scratching in his throat. He pushed and pushed but nothing came. He couldn’t push past it. Jeremy stopped pushing, and he was vaguely aware that he had been crying and thrashing in Lynn’s grasp. “I can’t! I can’t!” he gasped, trying to get his breathing under control.

 

Jeremy was aware now of Lynn helping him to calm down before she felt her gently wipe away his tears. “I think you put the spell on yourself in such an overwhelmed state of mind that you yourself can’t reverse it, especially not alone.”

 

“I thought I was dying.” Jeremy nodded. It made sense, he had been so overwhelmed and his powers were tied to his emotions, more so than any other soul color. He realised something. “I need Michael to reverse it, but if I can’t reverse it my brain can’t see the point in trying to rescue him with such unbeatable odds.” He blinked owlishly. “And I can’t dream without my emotions either.”

 

“Can you try reaching out to him through the dreamscape to talk to him? You might be able to catch him at some point if you two end up being asked at the same time,” Lynn offered, seemingly recomposing herself enough for now.

 

Jeremy shook his head. “I need to dream to get there. I can’t establish the connection.”

 

“Well, maybe Michael can if you two are asleep at the same time, though he probably won’t be sleeping at normal times like we do... It’s still worth it.”

 

Jeremy looked up at Lynn, as close to determination as he could manage without feeling a thing. “I’ll try. I’ll keep looking for him. And when I feel again I’ll get him and everyone back.” Jeremy knew that saying Noel would just make Mom sad again, so avoided the name.

 

Lynn nodded then, smiling down at him before hugging him. She pulled back after a moment though, with a sad look in her eyes. “I... I don’t think we can go and try to get him though.” Her voice sounded absolutely hurt, but she continued regardless. “It’s too dangerous, and we can’t risk losing anyone else. I want to get him back just as much as you do, but... it would just be handing over more of us to the Inside.”

 

Jeremy frowned, the first non-neutral expression he’d had since he gave up his emotions. “I _will_ get him back. He’s not staying there. I _won’t_ let that happen. The SQUIP will not take him from us.” He knew logically what he was saying was impossible. He was just one person, there was no way he could take down the Inside, especially not alone, but something bubbling inside him, as close to an emotion as he could get, told him it was true. He didn’t even notice the red mark on his arm flicker and gently, weakly glow for a second.

 

Lynn seemed too distracted to notice as well, frowning now as well. “Jeremy, if you try to get him, you won’t be able to come back as well. You need to stay here, even if it’s so hard to let him-“ She covered her mouth then, and she suppressed a sob before continuing. “You need to be able to let him go... It’s hard, but he wouldn’t want you to get caught either, you know that.”

 

Jeremy looked at her, eyes intently focused. “Mom, they will not get me. I got out once and I’ll get out again and this time, I’ll take Michael with me. He will _not_ be taken properly, not him.” That strange sensation didn’t dull, but it became easier to ignore it’d presence. It just was.

 

“Jeremy, please listen to me when I’m telling you this- you can’t save him. I want him back just as much as you do, he’s my _son_ , but it would just get you caught or even killed. They could Control you this time around too, especially if they knew what you’d been doing.”

 

Jeremy blinked, not seeing the problem with being honest in this situation. “It didn’t take last time. Even when I was a custom, it didn’t take fully. The only reason it worked at all was because I let it and I’m not letting it anymore. Never again. I promised Michael.”

 

“Jeremy, _please_. I don’t want to lose anyone else. I’ve already lost Noel, and now Michael. You’re strong, but you won’t be able to do this, OK? Just listen.”

 

The sensation stayed strong, but it told Jeremy to back down. He felt his exhaustion start to weigh on him again. “Okay Mom. I’ll stay safe. I promise.” He curled up against her, feeling his mind start to slip down to sleep as she held him. He figured it was the natural reaction from him trying to access his emotions. But with such a sleepy mind, he lost whatever filters he had. “Noel was really nice. I really liked her. I want her and Michael to come back is all...”

 

There was a brief period of silence before he heard Lynn faintly say, “I’d like that too, no matter how impossible that seems...”

 

“They’ll come home, and we can be a family, with my dad. We can be one, big family together.” Jeremy yawned and he let his mind go. He didn’t try to hold onto his consciousness.

 

 

  
He didn’t dream that time either.


	15. Shock to the System

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... The suffering until we end this will be worth it? ;w;  
> Mara's words on this before the chapter starts:
> 
> 'And you guys thought last chapter was bad :’)))))'
> 
> Also WARNING: mentions of needle injections and mental and physical torture, as well as some actual displays of mental torture via. drugs (if we need to tag when it starts, let us know in the comments)!

Jeremy didn’t leave the house much over the next couple of days. He didn’t really have a desire to, so when Lynn told him to stay home, he did. She stuck around too, so at least he wouldn’t have been lonely, if he were able to feel that.

  
Living without emotions was even harder than Jeremy thought. He had always had a niggling set, even on the inside, so to be without was almost deafening quiet. He would have been frustrated, he thinks.

  
His friends all visited at some point during his indifferent isolation. Brooke and Chrissy both brought him Michael’s hoodie on the first day, and Mrs. Doherty had made him a load of cookies and brought him an embroidery hoop to hopefully help keep him occupied. He did it, though there was no enjoyment in the act.

  
It was the evening of the second day that Jenna decided to visit, they day the SQUIP was due to arrive to deal with Michael.

  
“I don’t know what to tell you, Jenna. I’ve tried and I can’t unlock them, and without them I see no reason to help.” Jeremy’s voice hadn’t really lost it monotonous tone.

 

She was visibly upset, contrast to the normal demeanor she held. Her eyes were red rimmed and her hands shook a little as she stood in the living room, standing above Jeremy as he sat on the couch. “So you’re useless now, huh? You refuse to help now because you don’t have them?” By her tone of voice, something was obviously building and had been for the past few days. “Just because you don’t see the point in helping now?”

 

“I am a blue soul with no access to my emotions, so I have no magic. I am running purely on logic and intellect. No amount of persuasion or anything else will be able to convince me that running a suicide mission right now would be a good thing.” Jeremy almost wanted himself to start yelling. It’s not as though he hadn’t been trying these past few days to remove his lock, it was just too strong to do alone.

  
“You’ve been refusing to even help plan, and shut down every single option without thinking further past it! I know you can’t feel anything right now, but after everything you’ve gone through with Michael, you’re refusing?! You’re not the only one being affected by losing him, you know! Brooke, Chrissy, the village, his mom, and me! Fuck, he’s my best friend, I’ve known him since we were little kids, and you think it’s _OK_ to just give up?!”

 

Jeremy shook his head. “Jenna, you don’t understand. It’s not that I don’t want to help, I do. Michael is the key to myself, and _logically_ I made a promise that I would get him back. But without emotions there is nothing to override the self preservation instinct. And even then, it’s barely functioning. If I ceased to exist, it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. But I can’t just walk open eyed to my metaphorical death. And as for your ideas, I’ve shot them down because they were half baked suicide plans at best. I doubt you want to be sending you and our friends to the SQUIP like lambs to the slaughter, do you?” Jeremy knew that this wasn’t the best way to handle this, but he was so tired of not feeling. He wanted his feelings back as much as he could want anything right then. And seeing how close Jenna was to a meltdown, maybe being yelled at might be enough to release them. It was one of the few thing he hadn’t tried.

  
He could see that what he did was enough to send her over the edge, as she just started to scream at him. “Well, if _you_ know what’s so good, why don’t you do something, huh?! Instead of criticizing and waiting for others to help you, you can go out of your way to help if we’re apparently not doing enough! You can still _do_ something by helping to plan, helping to suggest, to make strategies. Instead, you here, criticizing like you’re so fucking high and mighty while the _rest of us_ are working our asses off to do _something_! Not all of us are able to just shut down our emotions and see everything as black-and-white! I’m trying so hard to save my best friend and you, his fucking _fiancé_ , are just sitting here, twiddling your thumbs and not doing a fucking thing but shoot down ideas! You-“

 

“That’s enough, Jenna.” Lynn walked in carrying Jeremy’s chamomile tea. “The only reason Jeremy is sitting here and shooting down ideas is because _I_ told him to. I refuse to lose the last of my family to the Controlled, and Jeremy has been trying to protect you even though he can’t even feel why he should.” She handed Jeremy his tea, patting his head affectionately. “If I hadn’t stopped him he would have been out there on the patrol routes, no magic, no anything, trying to get himself caught. He _wants_ to feel, but he can’t. And he wants to save Michael even though _none_ of us can.”

 

Jeremy had looked away from Jenna at this point, a sliver of guilt making its way through him. ‘ _Why is it always **you** that makes it through the cracks_?’ What she said was true though, Jeremy had been almost out the door and to the patrol routes on the morning of the first day, when that almost-feeling so much like determination was buzzing through his veins.

 

Now that Lynn was in, though, Jenna froze up on her arguments. It was obvious on her face how upset she was, her body trembling where she stood, looking between Jeremy and the other woman in the room. Both her and Jeremy knew they couldn't be explicit when Michael’s mom was around, so she just looked bitterly defeated as she tried to figure out something to say to Jeremy that wouldn't reveal their rebel schemes.

  
It seemed she couldn't figure out anything, for she just muttered _something_ under her breath, something Jeremy couldn't hear, before she stormed out of the house, another sob bubbling up as she ran.

 

As soon as she was gone, Lynn knelt down next to Jeremy, concern in her eyes. “Are you alright Jeremy? She didn’t actually hurt you, did she?”

 

Jeremy shook his head. “Jenna is upset, but I don’t believe she’s ever actually hurt me. And her reaction is understandable... I think. I’m not hurting while everyone else is. While she doesn’t often show it, Jenna is a very empathetic person, and Michael is her best friend. She’s probably hurting now as much as I was when I shut mine off...” Without emotions, understanding things was a lot clearer.

 

Jeremy quickly downed his tea, wanting to feel guilty or upset or even angry at himself, but still feeling nothing. He was aware his choice had been selfish, even if at the time it felt reasonable, but as with everything, he was apathetic towards it. “I’m going to head to bed now, thanks for the tea, Mom.” Jeremy handed his mug back to Lynn and wandered upstairs into his and Michael’s room. Without any emotions to keep him awake, Jeremy fell asleep very quickly, but he woke up in a very different location to where he fell asleep.

 

Instead of waking up the next day, he woke up in a familiar orange room that seemed as if it was filled with clouds. Looking around for a moment, he had no time to wonder anything when he saw Michael sitting down, looking quite exhausted physically.

 

Jeremy felt a massive _push_ from his emotions but it still wasn’t enough to unlock them. He stumbled a little from the force, letting out a small gasp from the pain. Michael’s head snapped up at the sound and a relieved smile spread across his face.

 

"Jeremy? Oh thank god, I finally got through to you," he heard Michael say, and it was really his voice, even if he sounded a bit worn and exhausted. He watched Michael try to get up, and it seemed to require quite a bit of effort to do so. "I've been hoping that I'd fall asleep at the same time as you. Sorry it took so long.”

 

Jeremy _knew_ he should be feeling a lot of things right then, but he couldn’t. He should be happy, relieved, sad, angry, _something_ but all he was getting an ache in his chest and a burn on his arm where the mark was trying desperately to flare up. He watched Michael with vacant, detached eyes and slightly labored breathing.

 

He watched Michael manage to walk over to Jeremy, exhaustion clear in his eyes as he took Jeremy's face in his hands, giving him a weak smile before resting their foreheads together. "I felt what you did, and I understand why you did it. I don't agree, but I understand, because I wished I could've done the same when they took Mama away. I don't want you to not feel though, that's not who you are."

  
From the edges of his vision, he could see Michael's arm attempting to flare up as well. "Please, promise me that you're gonna feel again, that you won't ever stop feeling, Jere."

 

Tears started to leak from Jeremy’s eyes even as he felt nothing but the slight pain. “I want to feel again, Michael. I want it as much as I want anything right now, but I _can’t_. I’ve been trying but I can’t undo the lock.” Despite his tears, his voice was still neutral. The lock inside creaked, but Jeremy was more used to the feeling now and merely hissed, flinching slightly from the pain.

 

"Jeremy, _promise me_ that you're going to feel again," Michael repeated as he kept looking down at Jeremy, his thumbs gently wiping away his tears.

 

Jeremy involuntarily sobbed, but he didn’t care. He was _feeling_ it, just a bit. He felt the lock start to strain, start to collapse. “I promise...” he gasped slightly, feeling it start to give way. Not just yet though, he needed one final push.

 

He saw Michael give him another weak smile as he kept wiping his tears away before giving him a soft kiss. "I need you to promise that you're going to feel again Jere, please just repeat that to me."

 

“I promise I’ll feel again, Michael. And I promise that I’ll never _stop_ feeling again,” he hiccuped out.

 

The lock broke.

 

Jeremy gasped against the kiss, legs buckling under him at the intensity of everything. Michael’s physical exhaustion meant they both collapsed to the floor as Jeremy writhed in his arms. His chest felt like it was both exploding and collapsing, his head pounded and his mark burnt. Then, it stopped and all Jeremy was left with was the emotions attacking him from every side. Guilt. Anger. Depression. Happiness. Determination. Love. They were all back. Instantly, he cupped Michael’s face and began kissing him, sobbing out apologies and declarations of love between every press of his lips.

 

He only got to do this for so long before Michael made him pull back, and how tired he was could be seen in his features. "Jeremy, I don't know how much time I'll have until they wake me up again, but I want you to know that I love you so much, and that I miss you and everyone else. The SQUIP's here, he's going to be here until I think he breaks me, but I'm not gonna let that happen. I'm gonna try to give you guys as much of a chance to stop him as I can."

 

Jeremy was still sobbing but his eyes focused solely on Michael. “Micah, we’re getting you out of there and we’re getting rid of the SQUIP once and for all. I swear I’m gonna get you out.” He pressed a quick kiss to Michael’s forehead. “I love you more than anything, Micah. And I’m gonna make sure the SQUIP will pay for everything he’s done. Stay strong for me. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Always and forever, remember?”  
  


Michael smiled then, and it seemed like he was putting more effort into it so it didn't seem as exhausted. "Always and forever-"

  
He wasn’t finished talking, though,when Jeremy heard the familiar sound of shattering before everything went black. Michael's image, his voice, their surroundings all faded away, all as he could see but not hear Michael trying to say something else.

 

 

 

Jeremy launched himself upright in bed, screaming. For a second, Jeremy was disoriented, then when he realized what had happened, he did something he hadn’t done since he was a baby. “MOM!” he screeched and within seconds, Lynn was there, wrapping her arms around him as he sobbed and babbled, trying to tell her what had happened.

 

Then, he felt a subtle tug on his chest, like someone was asking for something. Instantly, Jeremy let Michael take what he needed through the bond, focusing in on the sensations and following them. He blinked, trying to keep away his tears, and suddenly he was somewhere else.

 

It took him a second to realize where he was and why it seemed so familiar: it was one of the torture rooms from Inside. There were uniformed people, all wearing their bland-grey clothes and looking oh-so perfect. Glancing around for a second and seeing the cracked lens in his vision made him realize where he was: he was seeing what Michael was seeing.

 

Maybe it was the way he was woken up, maybe it was the fact that Michael needed such a strong amount of emotions, or maybe it had something to do with the figure standing above Michael so menacingly, but Jeremy didn’t care how it had happened. He just knew that he needed to stay strong and help Michael as much as he could.

 

The figure, who had been partially obscured by Michael’s hair flopping down, bent down and grabbed a fistful of his hair. Tilting his face upwards, the SQUIP grinned down at him. “I told you I’d see you here one way or another, Michael.”

 

Michael hummed for a moment, his eyes squinting up as he looked at the SQUIP through his cracked lenses. "Mm... You're definitely a lot uglier in person, and more irritating than I thought. Wow, color me impressed." As Michael spoke, Jeremy could hear how ragged and worn the other's voice was from whatever they'd been doing to him.

 

Jeremy felt a surge of pride (he was so glad he could feel again) at Michael’s bravery. He sent more calm, more strength, as much as Michael could take without exhausting Jeremy straight away. The SQUIP’s grin only widened at Michael’s response. “And you are even more stubborn. I have to say, two days of continuous punishment and you’re still about to make jokes? That is an impressive amount of strength. It’ll only make it sweeter when you’re bound to me.”

 

"Hah, you _wish_. You can try all you like, but I'm not up for grabs, and you're not really my type," Michael managed to get out, and Jeremy could even feel Michael managing a ghost of a smirk.

 

The SQUIP put on an exaggerated pout as he pretended to think it over. “Hmm, you’re right. You already are engaged after all. Maybe if I become him for you instead, you’ll stay loyal. After all, he’s a lot more pretty to you, isn’t he? Plus with his powers and his brain, I would be much more free to travel with my... loyal bodyguard.” The SQUIP patted Michael’s cheek, smirking.

 

Jeremy could feel Michael's anger about to bubble up, so he sent as much calming energy he could to help. It seemed to do the trick, as Michael's smirk seemed to only grow. "Mm, I don't think something like you could ever be compatible enough to even attempt doing something like that." He could feel Michael make a pouty face up at the SQUIP. "Aww, it's OK, babies need to learn that they can't get everything that they want, even if they end up throwing a tantrum because of it."

 

The SQUIP’s face twitched, and for the first time Jeremy could remember, his composure broke for just a second. Instead, he bent down, dropping so he was eye level with Michael. Jeremy could see the slightest hint of a scowl in his eyes even as his face remained neutral. “It doesn’t matter what you think, soon enough you’ll be nothing more than another cog in my beautiful machine. And you’ll be the one to bring Jeremiah to me, one way or another. You’re either the perfect bait or the perfect hunter. But one way or another, Jeremiah will be here and it will all be because of you.” His voice was low and dangerous, filled with power and promise. Jeremy couldn’t help but shiver.

 

Whether it was from Jeremy's calming energy and strength or something else, Michael _laughed_ in the SQUIP's face. "Aw, there's the baby's tantrum." The babying tone Michael held quickly changed to a more serious tone. " _Jeremy_ will never become yours again, I promised that. If he does come here, you'll be the one who'll be trapped, thinking that your plan worked until Jeremy pulls the rug out under your feet, obliterating you for good before you can even _think_ about becoming him. When that happens, I'll be laughing and spitting on whatever remains you have... that is, if there even _is_ anything left."

 

Jeremy saw another twitch and as much as he wanted to congratulate Michael for it, he recognized the look in the SQUIP’s eye. He reached out, pressing two fingers to Michael’s neck and sent out a bolt of electricity. It crackled through Michael, and Jeremy by proxy, burning and scorching his nerves. It stopped after a second, leaving Michael panting. “You have a lot of spirit Michael, but that will be your undoing. You see, I’m not going to be the one to break Jeremiah, you are. The moment you’re mine, you’ll be breaking him down for me. He won’t last much this time, especially with all that passion you have. Either that, or he’ll trade himself for you because you’re still hanging on. His love for you will be his weakness, and your passion will be the thing that breaks him for good.” The SQUIP removed his hand from Michael’s neck, grinning at him again.

 

At this point, Jeremy had no idea how Michael was able to keep going. He could feel how exhausted he was, even if he was sending him all the strength and calming energy he could. Somehow, though, Michael craned his neck up to look at the SQUIP and say with a trembling voice and confidence, "You act like I'm going to let this be _easy_ for you. After all that you've done, not even just to the people I care for, there's no way, even from the fiery pits of hell that you come from, that I'd ever let you get me without working tooth-and-nail, to the point where you can actually _feel_ something: exhaustion, desperation, and defeat. Have fun trying t'get me to break, you parasite." With that, Michael _spat_ in his face, getting his spit and blood all over his perfect features.

 

The reaction was almost immediate. The SQUIP’s features twisted into a dark snarl, his eyes turning black, revealing his true demonic form even slightly. He brought his hand down on Michael’s cheek, a loud crack as the slap snapped Michael’s head to the side with the force. Jeremy was certain he felt blood well up where the impact was hardest.

 

By the time Michael had recovered enough to look back, the SQUIP was standing, smoothing his hair back, no trace of Michael’s rebellion anywhere on him. In fact, he looked downright pleased. “I really _am_ impressed, Michael. You’re even stronger than I thought.” The SQUIP turned to one of the people in they light grey uniforms. “I think it’s time to start him on the drug. Go and collect her.” The SQUIP turned back as the worker scurried off, looking almost gleeful. “I’m sure you know about this, Michael. Your darling _Jeremy_ made it. I’m sure you’ll just _love_ the results.”

 

"Yes, the thing you _forced_ him to make after you tortured him. Doesn't bother me, because I got a reaction out of you. That'll be enough to carry me through this." Michael hummed for a moment, though Jeremy was sure that, if not for the energy he was helping give him at the moment, he wouldn't be able to talk this well right now. "I wonder... has anyone else been able to make you _snap_ like that before? I hope I didn't ruin your perfect image. Oh, you also have a lil' something, all over your face."

 

The blood and spit fizzled out of existence, and the SQUIP’s gleeful expression didn’t change. “You’ll be perfect soon enough, Michael. You’ll be begging for the shot by the time this is over.” He cocked his head, and arched a perfect eyebrow. His grin turned predatory. “Ah, she’s here. Michael, I’m so glad I get to be here for this touching reunion, I’m sure you’ve missed her so much.”

 

The SQUIP stepped to one side, unblocking the door to reveal... Noel. Jeremy would have screamed if he thought the SQUIP could hear him. He wanted to scream and punch and _kill_ the SQUIP for the both of pain and fear running though Michael at the sight of his mama, standing there so calmly holding a large silver needle.

 

What Michael was feeling almost overwhelmed Jeremy himself through their bond. Even as Michael's gaze never left his mama's face, he heard him hiss out, "I cannot _wait_ until Jeremy has utterly decimated you, you ugly hivemind piece of shit."

 

The SQUIP smiled and simply let Noel past. She walked over to Michael and inserted the needle into the vein on his arm. “It’s okay, Michael. This should only pinch for a minute,” she murmured, an echo of what might have been soothing. “It should start working in about a minute. Jeremy’s really intelligent, you made a good choice.”

 

The heartbreak that Jeremy could feel was almost unbearable. He could tell Michael was trying not to focus on that, instead staring right at the SQUIP as he told him, "Fuck you, you demonic toddler," before metaphorical hell broke loose.

 

Pain rippled through Michael’s entire being as the drug burnt though his system. His vision swam and not even Jeremy’s support could calm the spike of anxiety and fear that suddenly pulled through him. Michael couldn’t see the SQUIP, he couldn’t see Noel, he couldn’t see anything except a version of Jeremy, standing in front of him, frozen with terror. “Michael? Why didn’t you save me? Why didn’t you come and save me?” the vision begged. Jeremy thrashed around, trying to tell Michael it wasn’t real, that he was fine, but nothing could seem to get through. Jeremy’s drug was too powerful.

 

He felt Michael try to get up then, but the restraints in the chair holding him (was this the same chair he had been held down in?) kept him from making his way to the vision. "Jeremy?" Michael's voice asked, disbelief dripping from his tone as he kept trying to get out, even if he was physically worn down. He called out for him again, seemingly unable to hear the real Jeremy as he kept crying out for the vision in front of him. "You're supposed to be safe, back at home, what-"

 

“You let them get me, Micah. You let them take me. They _hurt_ me Micah. Why did you let them take me?” the vision cried, collapsing to its knees. Jeremy finally spotted the electrical burns and the cuts and bruises on the vision version of him. He thrashed and screamed harder and he was vaguely aware that he was doing the same over in his own body. Michael didn’t hear him.

 

"Jere, no, I promise I didn't let them! _Jeremy_!" Michael was yelling at this point, thrashing as best as he could in the chair, even if it irritated his injuries he had and caused more pain to flare up in his body. He was crying too as he was calling out for this vision of Jeremy still, though he stopped and just screamed bloody murder as near-borderline agonizing shocks were sent from the base of his neck, right against his spine, through his body. Jeremy could feel the phantom shocks of this, but knew it was nothing compared to what Michael was enduring.

  
Michael sounded so heartbroken when he gasped out, after the shocks subsided, "I didn't mean for this t'happen, I'm so _sorry_..."

 

Jeremy was screaming, telling Michael how it wasn’t real. The vision Jeremy looked up at Michael, tears in his eyes. “You left me and then they got me. Then he saved me from it. Not you. Him. He made it stop. I’m staying with him.” The vision climbed to his feet, and walked past Michael into the waiting arms of the SQUIP.

 

Michael _screamed_ , the sound so heartbroken and destroyed that Jeremy felt his own heart break as well. He tried to push _something_ into Michael but as soon as it seemed like he had made some progress, he blinked and found himself back in his bed, Lynn cradling him close as he thrashed and screamed.

 

It seemed like she had been doing this for some time. She was cooing softly, running her fingers through his hair with one hand. "It's OK Jeremy, shhh, you're OK." For a second, he could faintly hear himself crying and whimpering for Michael before he started to actually calm down.

 

“They have him Mom, they’re hurting him so much and they’re using _me_ to hurt him. Me and Mama. I saw them. He is there too. SQUIP is there and he’s hurting Michael.” Jeremy could barely speak, was barely aware of what he was saying. He just knew that his soul was aching and his mark was burning a bright red and that Michael needed him right now.  
  


He couldn’t even really tell how Lynn was reacting to all of this. All he knew was that she seemed to halt for a few seconds before continuing to try to soothe him. “Before we can do anything, Jeremy, I need you to _breathe_ along with me. Just take deep breaths and try to calm down, OK? I know it’s gonna be hard, but I need you to, you need to.”

 

Jeremy fought, tried to match his breathing to hers. Her voice, though so different, had the exact same tone as Michael’s did when he was calming Jeremy from a panic attack. He couldn’t have ignored her if he tried. He pressed against her, listening for her heartbeat, matching her breathing, and slowly found himself calming down.

 

By the time he was calm, he realized the fuzzy blanket was wrapped around him, and her fingers were rubbing gently against his head. “How are you feeling, Jeremy?”

 

He paused, trying to figure it out from his mess of feelings. “Sad.” He finally stated. “Angry. Depressed. I miss him so much. But I’m _feeling_ again. He saved me even though he was hurting...” Jeremy trailed off, eyes finally focusing on Lynn and seeing she was crying again. “Mom, does it ever stop hurting enough to function? I feel like I’m gonna die...”

 

She gave Jeremy a shaky smile, and spoke with the most raw, honest voice he'd ever heard from her. "It doesn't feel like it at first, but it does. Eventually, you're able to work again, and you turn that hurt into passion and determination to make things better in spite of what happened, in spite of the loss, because they wouldn't want you to just be there, mourning for them and to stop living without them."

 

Jeremy nodded and curled up against her again. He felt her slowly start to rock him side to side, finally understanding what it meant to have a proper mom. She looked after him, loved and protected him, even when he didn’t really deserve it. So for now, he let himself have the needed time to recover.

 

Tomorrow, he would start work.


	16. Mark of the Bluejay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so there's no real angst here, more of a breather and plot development in a not-so-painful manner. Also, this is our first of two chapters where it's from Jenna's POV! Enjoy!  
> Also, our wise words from Mara:
> 
> 'Yeah, so a little less angst for a moment. Give you guys a breather before the worst of it! :)))) enjoy! And thanks for almost 800 hits!'

Jenna, after the whirlwind of having to be the strong leader after her best friend gave himself up to save Jeremy, wasn't having a good week. She was tired, both emotionally and spiritually, and she was pissed but also jealous that Jeremy didn't have to _feel_ the pain she felt, of losing the closest person to you of thirteen years. She wasn't ready to deal with _anybody_ , let alone Jeremy right now.

  
That's why she was extremely pissed when she was woken up, bright and early, by knocking on her front door. She knew her parents weren't home right now, out earlier than sunrise to do their work, which was fine. Now she could yell at whoever was at the front door and take out her irritation and anger on them. Was that unfair? Yes, but it was this idiot's fault for knocking before the sun was over the horizon.

  
"I'm fucking coming, calm your worm-loving ass!" she yelled from her bedroom as she tugged her robe on, trudging down the stairs and practically flinging the door open. Oh, it just had to be him, speak of the devil. "What the _fuck_ do you want? Are you here to lecture me or something at the 'optimal listening time' or some shit, because I'm not in the fucking mood, white boy."

 

Jeremy blinked owlishly, apparently unfazed by her reaction. With almost no expression whatsoever, except for a slight furrow of his brow, and in the most serious voice he could use (the same as ever from the past few days), he said one of the most unexpected things possible. “Jenna, I need you to slap me.”

 

She stared at him for a moment, to see if he was joking. As far as she could tell, he was serious and _wanted_ her to?

  
...Well, who was she to say 'no' to that?

  
Jenna did just as he asked only a few seconds after, getting all of her anger out in it. If she wasn't so _enraged_ at Jeremy, she would've hissed at the bright red mark, as well as the split skin that seemed to let blood flow down his cheek.

 

Jeremy’s head snapped to the side and for a moment he froze. Then he started _laughing_ of all things. “Just what I needed! A spike of adrenaline to get the brain going. Now let’s see...” Jenna was more than a little confused. “Pain, frustration, and nerves are all present. But so is excitement, determination, fucking joy that I’m feeling again.” He was muttering to himself. “And wow, Jenna, I’m impressed. You’d sent the SQUIP flying back to hell with a slap like that.” Jeremy was laughing again, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbing up the blood.

 

Jenna just continued to stare at him like he just grew two more heads, taking a step back as she still held onto the door. "Jeremy, I know that I'm _pissed_ at you and you're missing Michael, but you can still talk to us. You don't need to deal with this alone and not be able to handle it-"

 

“Nonononono, Jenna it’s okay. I _needed_ someone to cause physical pain and no one else was pissed enough to do it.” Jeremy stowed his hankie away, shaking his head. “There was still a physical disconnect between me and my emotions, even if I was _feeling_ them. Spike of adrenaline and physical pain snapped them back. Now, that’s all I really need for now, but I’ll make sure you get the documents you’ll need before I go. See you later!” Jeremy turned to leave, but Jenna grabbed his arm.

 

She held on tight before dragging him into her house, shutting the door behind them before letting him go and pinching the bridge of her nose. "Look, I have _no_ idea what's going on, but you're not going anywhere until you're back to one-hundred percent. Go sit down, I'm making you some tea, even if I'm still mad at you."

 

Jeremy looked a little conflicted for a moment, then nodded and followed Jenna inside. “You have every right to be mad. Hell, _I’m_ mad at myself. Beyond pissed, really, but that’s not going to get Michael back. I can’t stay long, but I can stick around for a cup of tea.”

 

" _What_ are you even planning on doing?" she asked as she trudged into the kitchen, making some tea for the both of them while cautiously glancing over her shoulder.

 

Jeremy hesitated as he sat down at the breakfast bar. “I... I can’t explain everything right now. A lot hinges on no one knowing exactly what I’m planning. Elder Partridge could just use a memory spell to find out and try to stop me. But I promise you, it’s the only way to get Michael back _and_ the only way to take down the SQUIP once and for all.” He shook his head, taking a seat and looking at Jenna with the most earnest and trusting gazes she had ever seen. “But I know I can count on you and everyone else to help me get Michael out of there.”

 

She frowned, though understood _why_ he had to do it, even if she didn't like it. "... Well, you better get me into the loop as soon as possible, because you know I hate waiting around doing nothing, Heere."

 

Jeremy shook his head, grinning. “You won’t be doing nothing Jenna, I promise. I have a whole list of preparations that we need sorted as soon as possible! I just... can’t tell you everything.” His eyes were bright with determination and something about the way he smiled seemed almost manic and powerful, like an old god waking to reconquer the world. Jenna suppressed a shiver. She was suddenly very glad Jeremy was on _their_ side.

 

"Well, I'm glad you're feeling better now, at least," she said before sighing, pouring the now-finished tea into mugs for the two. Jenna handed Jeremy over his mug before sipping from her own. "And I am glad you're back, even if I'm furious with you."

 

Jeremy took a small sip from his mug, looking like the sweet boy she knew again. He hummed happily at the taste before looking up at Jenna again. “I’m glad too. And yeah, be furious with me, hell even _hate_ me, I don’t care. Just trust me enough to help Michael. That’s all I need.” His smile turned a little sad, but he didn’t look away.

 

A sigh passed Jenna's lips at that, and she felt her face soften under Jeremy's gaze. "I trust you, Jeremy, and even if I wanted to, I couldn't hate you."

 

Jeremy brightened and sipped his tea again. For a moment, silence reigned. Then Jeremy, swinging his legs happily, hopped out of his seat. “I’ve got a lot I need you to do. And we only have about a week before it needs to be ready. Now, where is your tablet? I need to give it an upgrade.”

 

Curiosity got the best of Jenna as she excused herself, coming back within the minute with her tablet in hand. "Just tell me what I need to do, anything to get Michael back and get rid of the SQUIP."

 

He started fiddling with the tablet, fingers moving furiously over the screen while he spoke. “I need a large area, as big as you can manage. It’ll need the same sort of wards and protections as the village and it needs be quite close to the Inside. I’m also gonna need a small area by the breach. It’ll need wards and protections but I’ll need a camouflage around it too.” Jeremy handed her the tablet. A new app had appeared and tapping on it, it appeared to be a news app of some kind.

 

She looked over it, quickly pulling up her notes app and typing what he needed in as she nodded. "Alright, anything else? And what's the new app for?"

 

Jeremy nodded. “That’s it for prep, but I’ll need everyone’s help once the time comes. I’ll need everyone to get Michael back and to take down the SQUIP. Souls gain power from souls if they’re working together. And we’re gonna need every single ounce of power if we’re going to be taking the SQUIP down for good.” He reached over and opened the app. “This app links directly to the news passed through the top levels of all the Insides. All the risks and all the threats that might be notable. I figured out the signal after finding one in the factory during... our last mission. I want you to keep an eye on it while I’m doing my part.”  
  


Jenna just nodded, keeping her face serious even if she was worried (hey, even if you're mad at someone, you can still be worried about them). "Alright, I'll do that."

 

Jeremy grinned at her. “Great. Well, I have to go, need to get started. All the details you need for the spells and protections are on Michael’s tablet. And I promise, I’ll see you later. Thanks for the tea.” He finished the last of his tea and half skipped out the door as soon as Jenna waved.

 

If Jeremy seriously thought she wasn't going to follow him, like he apparently did, he was wrong. She was still worried, but her curiosity also got the better of her as she silently followed along after him.

 

As soon as Jeremy was out of the house, his cheerful demeanor crumbled to something more serious. He wandered over to the side of her house and pulled out two large bags, one backpack, the other a messenger bag. They were full to almost bursting point. As soon as he had put these on (with some difficulty) he started on his way out the village. Jenna followed silently, keeping just in range to still see him. Once he made it out the village, he wandered down and over to the paddocks where the animals were kept. He started saddling up a horse.

 

Jenna was seriously confused but intrigued by what he was planning on doing, but was planning on following along on her own horse if she needed to.

 

Jeremy had saddled up and even climbed onto the horse before he said anything. “Jenna, I know you’re there. Your soul glows brighter when you’re curious.” His tone wasn’t surprised, but he did sound tired.

 

' _Oh, of course_.' Instead of hiding, she just sighed and got out from where she was hiding herself. "Let me guess: you're not going to let me come with you."

 

He shook his head, smiling slightly. “I need you here. You’re the only one I can trust to get everything done in time. It’s too important for anyone else to do,” he said, fondness coloring his tone even as his words were serious.  
  


Jenna watched him, hands in her robe pockets as she glanced into the distance where Jeremy was sure to be going. "You can't tell me anything else either, right?"

 

He sighed. “No, but I promise you’ll know soon enough. Keep an eye on the app, you’ll see what I mean. I should be back in a week, two at most. Michael is strong and he’ll last that long, I know it. And I’ll be doing everything I can to keep his soul strong, but we have one shot. I can’t mess it up.” Jenna had never seen or heard Jeremy sound so serious and determined. There was a layer of sadness in there too.

 

She couldn't help but want to stop Jeremy, because her worry about losing him too was creeping up her. Despite that…

  
"Alright, I'll be doing everything I can here too. I trust you."

 

Jeremy hopped down from his horse, shooting Jenna a soft smile. He held his arms open for a hug. “I know they’re not your thing, but I think you could use one.” He chuckled, it sounded a little wet even as his eyes stayed dry.

 

"Michael was right when he said you were smart," was all she said before hugging him back, a heavy sigh passing her lips.

 

Jeremy giggled a little, holding her tight. “I’ll be back, I promise. And when I get back, we’re getting our best friend back, okay? I promise. I’ll even swear a blood oath if you really wanted, but it’d need to be quick. I need to go before Mom realizes I’m not in bed anymore.” He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, and Jenna felt familial love and affection rolling off of him. She had almost forgotten how he constantly broadcasted his emotions in those few days he went without them.

 

"You don't need to do that stupid bullshit, just go out there and do what you need to so we can get that dumbass back into our lives."

 

With another swift kiss to her forehead, Jeremy pulled away and jumped back onto his horse. “I am so glad Chrissy taught me to ride.” Was the last thing he said before he set off, riding off into the distance.

 

 

 

Jeremy had been gone for a week and a half, and no one but Jenna knew where he had been. The first two days had been silent, no news from the app, no news from Jeremy. She had just ensured that everything was stated as he had requested and kept trusting him.

  
The third day saw a change. On the app, Jenna found a report of the Second Inside, one close to their own, having been attacked by what seemed to be one person. They had slipped in, destroyed the Processor’s connection to the rest of the world and slipped out with barely a trace. It still functioned, just couldn’t be used by the SQUIP anywhere else but in that one city. The only reason they knew someone had been there at all was the giant blue marking left on the side of the building. They were calling it the mark of the Bluejay.

  
The pattern continued for the rest of the week. A day of silence, then the mark would appear and cut off the Processors connection. Every nearby Inside was cut off, leaving the first to be the only one left within eight days.

  
Jenna had set up everything Jeremy had asked her to, and the others, as reluctant as they were, helped. No one had any better ideas and everyone trusted Jeremy. So they did it without too much fuss.

  
It was had been a few days since the last strike, and Jenna was starting to get worried. There had been not a word spoken about the Bluejay since his last hit on the Fifth Inside and Jeremy still wasn’t back. She was waiting in the woods when he finally appear, stumbling a little as he made his way through the trees. He had a bright grin on his face as he waved happily. “Jenna!”

 

As soon as she was able to, she punched Jeremy hard in the arm. "You ass, I thought you were hurt or worse when I didn't get any intel on the app about your whereabouts!" After she spoke, she grabbed him and pulled him in close for a hug. "Fucking asshole."

 

Jeremy chuckled holding her tightly. “Good to see you’re just as strong as ever, Jenna, that really hurt. And I’m sorry, I had to travel a little slower back, is all.” For a moment, he just seemed to enjoy the moment, before he murmured, “I missed you too.”

 

"I missed you so much, you idiot." She just stayed there for a minute longer before pulling back, though yanking Jeremy down so they were at eye-level. "You're telling me what's going on now though, _right_?"

 

Jeremy flailed a little, looking a little panicked, before nodding quickly. “Before I do, is everything set up? We’re gonna need that big space, and soon.”

 

"Of course it is, I've had it done for at least two days."

 

Jeremy grinned, before arching an eyebrow. “So Jenna, one more question. What was the one thing I kept saying we needed to get Michael out and to take down the SQUIP?” He was looking a little too pleased with himself.

 

She furrowed her brows at that before her eyes widened. "Wait, did you?..."

 

His grin turned a little sheepish. “I may or may not have raised an army...” As he said that, multiple figures stated to make their way through the trees, all carrying large bags. Most of them had what looked to be collapsible tents. “C’mon, lets get them to the safe area. I can explain more then. We have about one-hundred people here, so about sixty tents? Hope you planned big like I asked.” He winked, and Jenna was struck with that chaotic old god feeling from him again. This boy really _was_ chaos.

 

"Yeah, there's definitely enough room for that many people," she told him before leading him and his _entire small army_ to the safe area she created.

 

“Everyone here are Naturals who lived near the Insides. They’ve all lost someone and are here to get the chance to take down the SQUIP once and for all,” Jeremy explained as they walked. There was something different about him, now that Jenna had a chance to look. Maybe it was the slightly sharper angle in his jaw, maybe it was the confidence he now carried himself with or maybe it was the subtle exhaustion clinging to his every move. He seemed older, more mature. Certainly more mature than that boy sipping tea in her kitchen just over a week ago. “Everyone will be ready to move on the Inside in three days. I have a few more things to complete before we can launch the attack.”

 

"What things do you have left to complete? Also, do I need to get any rations or other things for the people staying in the safe area?"

 

“They’re all set for food for a whole week, so they should all be good. As for what I need to do...” Jeremy huffed. “I have to try with our village. I’m coming clean to them about exactly who I was and what I intend to do. Then I need to get in contact with my friends on the Inside. They might not feel anything, but I do know I have a little loyalty with them. I need their help to make this work. We don’t have too long...” Jeremy rubbed his right arm, were the mark was, looking a little dejected.

 

Jenna followed his eyes and reached over, putting her hand on top of his. "Hey, he's still going. We're going to be fine, and so is he. We're going to get everyone we need on our side, and after you work things out with your friends, we're going to stop the SQUIP and save our dumbass."

 

“We are.” Jeremy nodded. “He’s still going, I just haven’t heard from him in a while. Not since I left. Look.” Jeremy rolled up his sleeve, showing off the mark. It was dull and faded, the glow barely there and the red looking very desaturated. “It’s not gonna be long before he accepts the shot. After that we have maybe two days before he’s at a state where the SQUIP can travel with him.”

 

As she listened, Jenna frowned before looking at Jeremy. "You haven't told me exactly what the SQUIP's been doing to him."

 

“It’s... worse than what they did to me...” Jeremy shivered, looking at Jenna. Any confidence he had before dripped out of him. “They’re beating him almost daily, although they can’t burn him, thank god. His powers resist that. The SQUIP is there every day as well, offering him the shot and shocking him if he refuses...” Jeremy’s voice dropped to barely a whisper. He sounded close to tears. “And they’re using the drug, my drug, on him. It makes you see your worst nightmares come to life. Even when we get him back, he’s going to take a while to recover, especially from that.”

 

Even if she felt her heart skip a beat at what hell Michael was going through, Jenna gently rubbed Jeremy's back. "Hey, he'll be fine though. Yes, it'll take him time to come back fully and he's not gonna be the same, but we're getting him back. You've done so much to help him, Jeremy, you raised a whole _army_ for him."

 

Those words seemed to do the trick, because his confidence and determination returned in leaps and bounds. Within seconds, he was focused, steely eyed straight ahead as he lead the army behind them towards their campsite. Somehow, everything he was channeling reminded Jenna distinctly of Michael, to the point that if she looked away she could almost pretend it was him. “We’re bringing him _and_ Noel home and taking down the SQUIP for good. This ends now.” The still exposed mark on arm seemed to glow a little brighter, a little more strongly, as his own determination flared up.

 

Jenna couldn't help but smile, Jeremy's determination and optimism rubbing off on her. She didn't know what to say, but she definitely knew the role of leader had been taken from her at this point.

 

Once Jenna and Jeremy had gotten the people settled (Jeremy had instructed the leaders of each faction on how best to us the space, which Jenna had pointed out), she dragged him to the mine before they went to the village, no protests allowed. He didn’t try to fight it. In fact, he looked a little giddy to see everyone else. By the time they had arrived, Jenna had been fully caught up on what Jeremy had been up to and how he even managed to do what he did. “When you know the setup, you know it’s weak points.” Jeremy had merely shrugged as they arrived at the entrance. Jenna knew everyone was inside, Chrissy and Brooke both working on the potions Jeremy had instructed them to make.

 

She walked in, being sure to make her presence known as to not disturb or startle the two or Mr. Heere, who was helping them with these difficult potions. "Hey, I'm back and have a guest."

 

After a moment, everyone looked up and when they saw Jeremy, all hell broke loose. “I thought you had given yourself up!” Chrissy smacked his shoulder lightly before wrapping her arms around him tightly, joined by a sobbing Brooke.

 

“We were all so worried, and Jenna wouldn’t tell us anything even though we knew she knew!”

 

Jeremy, who looked a little misty eyed himself, chucked. “I asked her not to in case I failed. I can explain everything now, including the plan to get Michael back.”

 

Mr. Heere looked startled. “But you were insistent that we couldn’t get him out without an army...” Jeremy smirked and said nothing, locking eyes with his dad.

 

His dad stared at him for a good few seconds before muttering something under his breath. "I can't believe it- no, actually, I can after all of this."

 

“We literally had managed to turn into soulmates within, what, two months of knowing each other? I’d move heaven and hell for him, dad.” Jeremy chuckled, still not trying to extract himself from the hug pile Chrissy and Brooke had created. It seemed to be helping to rejuvenate him a little, some of his tiredness falling off of him.

 

“I managed to get about one-hundred people, as well as cut off all the local Brains from the nearest Insides. The people are set up in the safe area not too far from here, and as soon as I have finished my final jobs, we’re marching on the Inside. We’re getting rid of the SQUIP once and for all.” His determination echoed in the air around him thanks to his powers. Jenna took a moment to appreciate just how far Jeremy had come from the crying boy that had first woken up in the mines.

 

"I think that, after all of this, you're gonna give Michael a run for his money for who becomes the next council head," Jenna joked, unable to help herself as she appreciated everything Jeremy had been doing. "He's gonna be so proud though."

 

“After all of this, we’re _all_ going to be part of the council one way or another.” Jeremy reached over and poked Jenna’s shoulder, giggling. “Don’t deny it, Jen, you love bossing people around.”

 

She raised a brow at him then, rolling her eye before poking his shoulder back. "Uh, no, you only see it like that because you never listen to me."

 

Jeremy laughed loudly, his entire body shaking with the force of it. “You’re right about that, but then again, I’m really bad at doing what I’m told. If I don’t agree, it ain’t happening.” He looked happier than Jenna thought possible considering the circumstances and his earlier demeanor, but she supposed that it might be a side effect of all the joy in the room. Jeremy was easily influenced. “Speaking of the council though, I need to go and speak the them. How’s Mom been holding up without me? She got my note, right?”

  
"She's holding up pretty well, all considering, and yes, she did get your note, don't worry."

 

Jeremy relaxed a little, finally extracting himself from the girls to give his dad a quick hug. Mr. Heere wasn’t too big on the affection side of things, like Jenna, but he did really love his son. “Jenna, I’m gonna need you to charm this with a protection and camouflage sigil. It’s time for dad to leave his cave.” Jeremy chuckled, pulling out a heavy silver pendant set with turquoise from one of his jacket’s deep pockets.  
  


Jenna knew her more wicked smile came as she eagerly took the pendant. It took less than a minute to make sure it was all done once she got started, so she eagerly handed it to Jeremy when she was done. "Done and done."

 

“The turquoise is what makes this strong enough to hide him. It’s so hard to get hold of here, but the had it near the Third Inside Natural colony.” Jeremy slipped the pendant onto Mr. Heere, who didn’t look any different to Jenna. “Now you’re shielded from any evil eyes or intentions. SQUIP won’t even be able to see you three feet in front of him or activate his trace on you.” Jeremy pulled away and slipped his bags back onto his shoulders. “We need to get going, I need to sort out the letters for Rich, Jake and Chloe soon, but I need to speak to the council first.”

 

Everyone nodded, and before they knew it, they had followed Jeremy all the way back to the village.

 

Jeremy’s stride was confident, each step radiating power and determination as he walked up to the town hall. Whispers and wide-eyed looks followed them as they made their way through the village. People followed, curious as to where Jeremy had come back from and how he seemed so powerful now. He arrived at the town hall and let himself in, only knocking when he got to the meeting room door.

 

There seemed to be a pause of conversation inside the meeting room, and there were a few moments of silence before Jenna heard Elder Partridge utter, "Come in."

 

Ever for the dramatics (Jenna figured he learned it from Chrissy), Jeremy threw open both of the double doors and strode into the council room, followed closely by his team. Jenna wasn’t letting Jeremy get too far away without her, so she stuck closely to his right side. Lynn gasped from her chair and instantly threw herself out of it and at Jeremy. He let himself be hugged, pressing a small kiss to her forehead before turning to the rest of the council. She detached herself and stood back to listen.

 

“We have lived in fear for too long. We’ve lost family members, friends, and loved ones without even a chance to say goodbye. I say enough is enough.” Everyone was silent in the room and the area just outside, where the villagers were listening in.

 

“I lied about who I was when I first arrived. I wasn’t abandoned as a child, or living in the streets. I was born and raised on the Inside, I was a Controlled. I have experienced the pain of having no emotions and no free will, and I say no more. I was a lucky one, I realized how bad it was there and got out, like my father.” There were a few gasps but Jeremy seemed unconcerned. Mr. Heere stood tall. Jenna was more than a little proud of Jeremy; he was commanding the room like a purple soul.

 

“These past few days, I have been travelling, causing chaos on the Insides and finding people like us. People who have been hurt, who have lost people they love just for existing. I’m giving them a chance to take down the Inside, get their loved ones back. The SQUIP is not unbeatable, and I already have one-hundred souls who have pledged themselves to help take him down. Now I’m asking you, the people of my _home_ , to help me too. I want to bring them all back, and finally end the constant fear we live in. But I can’t do it alone...” Jeremy’s voice went from commanding to earnest to pleading in the least begging way possible. It was less of a cry for help and more of a call to arms, to defend what already existed and more.

 

Everyone, inside and outside of the meeting room, seemed to be taken aback by Jeremy's speech. Hell, Jenna herself was, and she was already on his side.

  
She didn't know who she expected to join up first, but she was glad that it was Lynn. She stood tall and proud as she went to stand on Jeremy's other free side. "I know I kept telling you not to go, to stand back, and I apologize for that. I'm not going to stand by and let reason keep me back." Jenna could feel from Jeremy how much that meant to him.

 

Slowly but surely, every single one of the council members stood, not moving to Jeremy but showing support. Within seconds, everyone was standing except Elder Partridge. She looked down at Jeremy from her elevated space in the middle of the table with narrowed eyes. Then she sighed, a small smile on her lips. “I knew from the moment we saw your soul that you were special, Mr. Heere. It would be an honor to stand by your side and take back our world.”

 

Jeremy looked a little too shocked to say anything for a second. “It has been agreed, the council is unanimous. Anyone who wishes to fight along side Jeremiah Heere to retrieve their loved one or to take down the SQUIP has the full support of the council. Go forth and take back what is ours.” Elder Partridge boomed, her voice magnified by her magic. The murmurs from the villagers turned to cheers.


	17. Just Be You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, so the angst is back. The angst in this was all me, sooo... Don't yell at me /too/ badly... Yeaaah (reading through this made my chest ache so know I am feeling the pain of this too).  
> Also, our wise words from Mara:
> 
> 'Told you guys it gets worse :’))))))'

After several more hours of discussion, including tactics and potions to work on, Jeremy finally made his way back to bed. His and Michael’s room had been untouched and Michael’s hoodie was laid out for him on the bed. Having already had his tea and had a chance to clean himself up, Jeremy slipped on the familiar object and collapsed into the bed. He was out like a light in seconds, and as always, he opened the dreamscape, trying to get through to Michael. As of yet, he had been unsuccessful, but he knew it was only a matter of time. He really hoped it worked soon.

 

 

 

Stepping into the dreamscape, it seemed like it might happen sooner than he thought. Michael was standing there, looking dazed and confused and more than a little beaten up.

 

When Jeremy saw Michael look at him and actually see him, he wasn't sure exactly what he was expecting, though it certainly wasn't for him to curse under his breath and back up, running his fingers through his wild hair and tug on the strands. "No no, not this one again, this is one of the worse ones. I would've taken _anything else_ rather than this one, for fuck's sake." His eyes were wild and unfocused now, and he was shaking where he was standing, looking so out-of-place in this serene environment.

 

Jeremy took a hesitant step towards him, unsure how to help. He knew he had to have been involved in Michael’s nightmares since he had seen the first one, but he had thought that maybe the dreamscape would help tell Michael it was real. “Micheal? It’s okay, it’s me, it’s Jeremy. Please, stop hurting yourself.” Jeremy tried to keep his voice level and calm, raising his hands in a sort of surrender.

 

Michael just kept shaking his head, taking a shaky step back and almost falling in the process. "No, no no _nonono_ , I can't see you like that Jeremy, please. I'm going to _lose_ it if I have to see you like that again." His voice was cracking and wet, tears already falling down his face as he seemed to be struggling to keep any sense of composure.

 

Jeremy shaped the environment to stop Michael from falling even as he took a step back himself, tripping on his own feet. “It’s okay, Michael. It’s me. Please, it’s me. Oh god, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. Me and my stupid drug.” Jeremy felt tears prick at his eyes, but he knew he had to be the strong one for once. “What do you mean by ‘ _like that_ ’, Michael? What have they been showing you?”

 

Michael hiccuped as he seemed to not be able to stand, falling down to his knees as he seemingly tried to speak. "I-I... 'can't handle you breaking it again, right 'nfront of me with him with you again... Please, Jeremy, I'm going to lose it, I will lose it, I _will_ I fucking will. Please, don't let _him_ show up too."

 

Jeremy was shaking as he watched Michael crumple to the ground, unable to stop himself from collapsing too at the sight of his protector so broken. “Break what, Michael? It’s.... there is no one else here, just us. And I’m not gonna break anything, I promise.” Jeremy’s voice shook, and he wasn’t even sure Michael heard him, judging by the fact that he was still sobbing. ‘ _I won’t break anything except my heart at how lost you look_.’

 

"I-I already lost t'ring, t'promise... I can't take it, not again, m'soul can't take it," Michael managed to get out from where he was, practically sliding down onto the floor in front of Jeremy. He was too lost, too scared, and it was obvious in his voice. "Please, Jere, I _love_ you. Even 'f you hate me, don't do this t'me. _Please_..."

 

Jeremy was shaking so much he was sure he’d fall apart, but Michael needed him, he wasn’t going to let anything stop him from helping him, least of all himself. ‘ _Always and forever_.’

 

He crawled slowly over to where Michael was and placed his hand with the ring in front of Michael, palm up. “I love you too, Micah. I love you so much it hurts. I could never hate you. You could literally be killing me and I couldn’t hate you. It’s me, I swear it’s me. It’s your Jeremy. I won’t ever hurt you, never. And look, I still have the ring. I never take it off, it’s too precious. And I’m still feeling, see? I’m crying, just like you. It’s okay. _Please_ believe it’s me.”

 

Jeremy kept rambling through his own tears, fighting to keep his voice steady. He was wiping away tears with his free hand, but he didn’t move to touch Michael or to move his hand, too scared he might break him. Jeremy kept his other hand out as much as possible, forcing the mark to flare up even as it burnt his skin with how much Michael was hurting.

 

After what felt like forever, Michael's sobbing seemed to subside as his eyes seemed to refocus, staring at the ring with disbelief. He practically scurried to get up, to be kneeling, and grab Jeremy's hand and look over the ring with his wide eyes. Michael was slow with brushing his fingers, which Jeremy could now feel how shaky and marked they were, over the stones before his eyes met Jeremy's.

  
He was staring at him, his eyes seeming to be less hectic as his other hand reached up, brushing away some of Jeremy's falling tears. Both were quiet for what seemed like another forever before Michael's voice, frail and on the edge of shattering, called out with such clarity, his eyes full of recognition, "... _Jere-bear_?"

 

Jeremy leaned into the touch ever so slightly, ignoring how rough the skin felt. He nodded rapidly, tears still falling. “It me, it’s me Micah, I swear it’s really me.”

 

Jeremy didn’t move to touch Michael even though he desperately wanted to. His voice shook but he held as strong a he could. Shakily, he held out his free arm, an offer for a hug.

 

He could barely register Michael falling forward into his arms, practically breaking down in his arms, almost limp besides the desperate hands that clung to him. Jeremy could barely make out what Michael was saying, most of it seemingly nonsense or gibberish besides the occasional, "Jeremy," and, "Not breaking it, thank _god_."

 

“Won’t break it, never, wasn’t really me who was doing it. I’d never hurt you Micah. I love you.” Jeremy wasn’t sure what ‘it’ was that his nightmare form had apparently broken but he wasn’t sure if he _wanted_ to know. All that mattered now was calming Michael down. Ignoring his own emotions, and how it made them spiral harder, he pushed as much of his love and support and calm through the bond to Michael. He needed them more right then. “It’s me, Micah. It’s me and it’s gonna be okay. I’m gonna get you out of there, I promise.”

 

It only seemed to calm his crying down somewhat, as well as help him make more sense as he talked, though he wasn't sure he wanted to hear what Michael was muttering out. "I can't, Jeremy... I can't see you break my soul again, can't feel that again, not right in front of me with the SQUIP with you..." Michael was heaving his breaths out at this point, clearly so mentally and physically exhausted by all of this. "Please, don't do it again, _please_..."

 

“Oh, _Micah_.” Jeremy sobbed, clinging to him harder. “Never. Nevernevern _evernever_! It’s not me, never me. I wouldn’t _do_ that to you. I _couldn’t_ do that to you. It’s me, right here. Not whatever was hurting you. Not me, never me. You’re my most special, I would _never_ hurt you, sweetheart.” Jeremy’s words were a little crazed by this point, and pushing so much of himself in Michael made the cracks in his soul _ache_ but he refused to let up. He had to let Michael know that this was real and that wasn’t. He kept pushing, even as the crack ran a little more.

 

Michael seemed to quiet for a minute, and by the time Jeremy looked down at him, Michael had such clarity in his eyes, even more than when he recognized Jeremy those few times. Reaching up, Michael clasped his cheeks, staring long and hard. "Jeremy..." This all seemed to click for him before he returned to hugging Jeremy, burying his face into the crook of his neck. "Holy _shit_ , it's actually you. Oh my god, this isn't another nightmare, holy fuck."

 

Jeremy didn’t let go, _couldn’t_ let go, pressing himself as close to Michael as he possibly could. “It’s me, it’s really me, Micah, I swear. They weren’t real, _please_ believe me. I could never hurt you, ever. Please. Please don’t think I ever could,” Jeremy begged, pressing kisses to wherever he could reach, tears still streaming down his face as he kept _pushing_. He couldn’t risk Michael slipping again. “We’re coming for you, everyone is coming to get you just _please_ hold on. I swear, I’m coming to get you. Always and forever.”

 

"Jeremy, it's so real. I-I have these nightmares and t-the stuff that happens in them carries over. I'm trying, I really am, oh my _god_." He felt Michael's fingers cling tighter onto him, now holding bunched-up fabric of Jeremy's clothes. "I-I don't know what's real an' what's fake anymore, I..."

 

Michael’s real presence helped to calm Jeremy too. “I’m real, right here, right now. This is real. And I would never hurt you. If something that looks like me, sounds like me, _acts_ like me ever hurts you, it’s not me. That’s what’s real. I will _never_ hurt you, not in all of eternity.” Jeremy’s kisses became less frantic and his breathing evened out a little. “Just a little while longer. I’m gonna be there soon. Just hold on a little while longer.” Jeremy reached up to run his fingers gently through Michael’s hair, still clinging to him with one hand. “Promise me you’ll hold on. I’ll be there soon and then we can go home. Just hold on...”

 

He felt Michael nod from where he was positioned, his face pulling back. "I promise I'm gonna hold on for you Jere, I will."

  
After he said that though, he could feel Michael tense up underneath him before he started to shake again, his fingers clinging tighter before his face rested against his shoulder this time. "I'll hold on, j-just please don't do it again," Michael begged, his real presence already beginning to slip.

 

Jeremy realized that he couldn’t keep Michael properly present, not at the rate he was going. He’d already have to swear off magic for a full day just to recover from those few minutes, there was no way he could keep it up _and_ rescue Michael. So he let the push lessen, let it stop, and just kept holding Michael as sweetly as possible even as his heart was breaking.

 

“Shhhhshhhshhhh. It’s okay Micah. I won’t hurt you. I won’t do it, I won’t. It’s not me who would. Think of all the time you’ve known me, would I ever hurt you?” Jeremy decided to make this dream as sweet as possible, trying to soften the ache Michael was living in. He shaped the dream to move, surround them in their bed with Jeremy’s blanket. “You’re okay, Micah. I’ve got you.”

 

"I just wanna enjoy this, I don't want t'lose you. I promise to be good, Jeremy, _please_ , whatever y'want, just don't do it again." He was whimpering all of this out at this point, curling up in their dream bed, under the dream blanket, though didn't even seem to really acknowledge or _see_ any of this.

 

Jeremy stiffened for a second at those words. ‘ _I promise to be good_.’ He knew them. He _said_ them. He didn’t have much time left. He couldn’t let Michael break. So he focused on Michael now.

 

“I won’t, I won’t. You’re in our bed, you’re under my blanket. You’re safe here. Nothing can get you under here. It’s lucky the drug can’t replicate environments, only situations. So you know it’s safe here, you know it’s me and I love you so much.” He ran his fingers though Michael’s hair. “But Michael, don’t be good. Be Michael. My brave, strong Michael who keeps fighting back, no matter what. Don’t even think of being good for the SQUIP. Just be Michael.”

 

Michael was quiet for a few seconds before Jeremy felt him shift a little, one hand moving from the fabric he was clutching to hold onto the blanket around them. He seemed to relax after fiddling with it, physically and mentally as he leaned further against Jeremy. A little of the tension in his body vanished as well. "Just... be Michael..."

 

“That’s right, be Michael. Michael wouldn’t be good for the SQUIP, he’d be himself who hates the SQUIP. Michael is loud, in his personality and his beliefs. He’s always sure what he’s doing is right, even if he’s messing up. He’s strong and brave and true, even when it’s hard to be. He’s sweet and funny and understanding. Michael doesn’t back down, he stares danger right in the eye and _laughs_ because he knows that even if something happens, someone who he loves will always come to help him. Even though he has problems, he doesn’t let that stop him because he’s grown enough to know that he can rely on his family. He’s my best friend as much as he is my boyfriend, no, my fiancé. I love Michael with all my heart. Which means I love you, because you’re my Michael.” Jeremy pressed a kiss to the top of Michael’s head.

 

He seemed to be listening, even if Jeremy wasn't able to keep him present. Michael let out a soft hum, leaning further against Jeremy before he spoke up, gripping onto the blanket. "But what if Jeremy wants me t'be good for the SQUIP? What if he'll not shatter me if I say yes, if he'll love me again an' not hate me?"

 

Jeremy’s heart broke just a little more. “If Jeremy tells you that, he’s not Jeremy. Jeremy would want Michael to keep being Michael. Because Jeremy loves Michael, not someone who’s good for the SQUIP. Jeremy can never hate Michael, not ever. Michael could even go to _kill_ Jeremy and he would still not hate Michael. So if a Jeremy tells you that he hates you, or wants to hurt you, he’s not a real Jeremy. He’s a fake, he’s a liar.”

 

The silence as Jeremy was suffocating as he waited for Michael to say something, _anything_. What he heard, though, made him wish the silence kept on going.

  
"No, he hates me an' I don't want him to. I'll do whatever he wants so he'll love me again. I can't live without him lovin' me, not like this. I'll even b'good for the SQUIP..."

  
As soon as Michael finished uttering that, there was that same shattering sound from the last time they were together in the dreamscape, but the snap back to the waking world was instantaneous this time for Jeremy.

 

 

 

Once again, Jeremy bolted upright, screaming. Nononononono this couldn’t be happening. Michael couldn’t give in, not when he was so close. Lynn ran in, eyes wide as she took in Jeremy’s shaking, crying form. He didn’t care how it looked, he wasn’t going to let Michael suffer anymore. Forget the damage it might do to his soul, they were moving in tomorrow. He just needed one last piece of the puzzle.

 

 

 

As early as possible the next morning, Jeremy was ready with Jenna, he himself camouflaged up and ready to head Inside near the breached area they had been using when possible (which consisted of a cracked wall, literally breached). Jenna was finishing making sure Jeremy was good before her hand slipped into her pocket, where Jeremy knew her emergency crystal was. "You got this."

 

“They’ll be here. Just stay close in case someone, aka me, does something stupid.” Jeremy offered her a tired grin before marching off into the breach. He had a blue blazer on, with the Bluejay mark painted on the back. He looked the perfect blend of old Jeremy and new.

 

As expected, Rich, Jake and Chloe were all wanting by the meeting spot. Jeremy slipped into the place in front of them and removed the spell. “It’s good to see you all again.” Jeremy’s tone was warm, even as they jumped in surprise of him appearing out of nowhere. “I’m glad to see you honored my agreement. No soldiers on either side.”

 

"We three were easily able to comprehend the letter you sent us, Jeremy," Chloe spoke, watching him with what Jeremy could recognize as the faintest hint of curiosity, though it was gone in a flash. "You wished for us three to meet you, alone, and we have done that. Now that I know who you have become, however..." She glanced to Jake and Rich, though Rich seemed to have a hint of hesitation, before she started to walk off.

 

Jeremy threw up his hand palm facing outwards, not to stop her but to send the burst of _feelings_. Him losing his emotions meant he knew where the connections were. Him getting them back, meant he knew how to reconnect them. Underneath it all, Chloe could still feel, she just didn’t know it yet. “You’re not going anywhere, Chloe. I need you to hear me out. But first tell me, how are you _feeling_?”

 

Chloe’s retreating form froze, then slowly spun to face Jeremy. She had tears in her eyes, and she looked shocked. “I... I don’t want to be a mom. I just want to keep working on my designs,” she said in a small voice, as if just realizing it for the first time.

 

Jeremy lowered his hand. “Good.”

 

Chloe seemed to be stuck in place then as she rubbed at her eyes while Rich and Jake both stared between her and Jeremy. They seemed unsure of what to do, though Rich seemed to take a step towards Jeremy while Jake went to follow in Chloe's footsteps before being stopped, though was obviously quicker than her.

 

Jeremy caught Jake just as easily. Palm out and another burst of _feelings_ and suddenly Jake was crumpled to the ground, clutching his head and sobbing. “I didn’t want to do it. I don’t want to get you caught. I’m sorry. I’m sorry!” Jeremy’s heart twisted painfully. He hated that the negative emotions would come first, but they were closer to the surface, sometime being used by the SQUIP to manipulate people.

 

When he went to look at Rich, he was standing closer to Jeremy, unmoving. He was looking at him, staring, as if he was trying to convey something but didn't know how. He didn't seem to dare to move, but just waited.

 

Jeremy put his hand on Rich’s shoulder, a small smile on his face. “I understand. Just relax and let it happen,” Jeremy murmured, letting Rich feel as well.

 

Unlike the other two, Rich launched himself at Jeremy, clinging to him in a hug. “I missed you so much! I’m sorry I was so rude to you in the dream thingy.”

 

Jeremy sighed and hugged Rich right back. “I missed you too, dude.”

 

Rich let the hug linger for a few moments before pulling back, looking up at Jeremy with a grin. "OK, so... _Bluejay_ , what the hell do we need to do to help?" By the time he asked, Chloe and Jake seemed to compose themselves well enough to nod along with him as they stood behind him.

 

“I knew you guys were really my family...” Jeremy murmured to himself, a little in awe. Then he composed himself. “Okay, so I’m taking down the inside. The SQUIP has my fiance and I am getting him back, but I’ll need your help. If you’ve ever trusted me, trust me now to know that me doing this will be for the better.” He looked between his friends, checking for any hesitation. He wouldn’t be upset if there was, he just had to be sure.

 

Sure enough, there wasn't any. "Tell us what we need to do, Jeremy."


	18. A Promise Kept

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for over 900 hits guys! It means a lot! We're having the final showdown, but it's... you'll see...  
> Our words from Mara:
> 
> 'Let’s see how they all fare. Not everyone comes out of this alright, I’ll just warn you now. I’m very, very sorry.'

Within hours, everything was set. Jake and Chloe were in position and Rich, armored up in a blue shirt, was practicing summoning his cleansing light while they waited for the signal. Brooke was helping him while Chrissy ran to the other groups to give a status update. Jenna was hovering nervously by Jeremy’s shoulder. “Jeremy, I saw how tired just releasing your friends made you, are you sure you can do this?” she questioned, and Jeremy waved her off.

 

“I’m fine, Jenna. Just worried is all. It’s a draining emotion at the best of times.”

 

“Are you sure? We don’t want you to be exhausted and collapse or something during this,” Jenna reminded him, though it was more so out of concern for his safety than anything else, that much was obvious.

 

Jeremy knew she had figured something was wrong, and he could feel the cracks in his soul backing it up, but there wasn’t time for that now. He needed to rescue Michael and destroy the SQUIP, that was all that mattered.

 

He opened his mouth to reply, but instead of words, he screamed. Pain echoed through his chest, through the bond and on his arm. Jeremy collapsed to his knees, panting as he realised what had happened. The mark, which used to burn so proudly, finally faded to a flat grey tattoo and suddenly Jeremy couldn’t feel Michael there _at all_. “He took the shot. He took the fucking shot.” Jeremy shakily stood, eyes burning. “We need to get in there. NOW!” he snarled. Pressing the crystal, Jeremy waited for the reply impatiently.

 

As he waited, Brooke ran over with wide eyes full of concern, ready to heal. “What happened? Jeremy, are you OK? Are you hurt?”

 

“I’ll be fine once that son of a bitch leaves Michael alone. He convinced him to take the fucking shot.” Jeremy growled, still feeling the subtle absence and ache in his chest.

 

The crystal in his pocket heated up. ‘ _One minute_.’ Jeremy pulled out the smoke gun and shot off the blue round. ‘ _Get ready_.’

 

“We move in on my command. Remember, get to the Processor, stun any patrols who come close but do not hurt them. They are as innocent as our own families are!” Jeremy called the the twenty or so people gathered around.

 

He spotted the green, red and yellow smoke trails. Everyone was ready. “Ready to fight with me? For Michael?” Jeremy turned to his friends, a tired but determined smile on his face.

 

Brooke just nodded, worry fading from her features as determination took over. Jenna just matched his smile as she nodded and patted him on the shoulder. “With you, and for Michael.”

 

The gates opened. “CHARGE!” Jeremy screamed, leading his faction of screaming witch bloods into the Inside.

 

People were stunning the shocked patrol by the door while Jeremy was making them feel instead. He could see Jenna and Brooke both holding their own as he helped the patrols, using prepared spells to stun and making sure no one else accidentally did harm to the guards.

 

Jeremy saw Rich, who had been throwing potions, cornered by a patrol. Jeremy tried to make his way over to help but Jake appeared out of nowhere to help. He shot the whole patrol with a stunning weapon, knocking them out. “Go Jake!” Jeremy yelled as he started changing course back to the Processor. It would take a while to get there, they had to make their way through the whole city. Behind him, he heard a cheer and glancing back, he saw Rich dipping Jake, kissing him hard. He grinned and turned his attention back to the battle. Brooke herself whooped at the two, though she and Jenna continued to stay close to Jeremy as they continued to push their way further into the Inside.  


The next hour was a blur of fighting, throwing spells and potions and sigils as Jeremy and his team worked their way to the Processor. Finally, they made it to the southern entrance. Chrissy was there waiting for them. “Your dad and Reyes got held up, they won’t be along for another twenty minutes at least. Dustin’s group is over by the shots factory and is taking it down and Madeline’s taken over the barracks. It’s just us here for now,” she reported, bouncing on the balls of her feet. She looked tired but was glowing with a manic energy.

 

“Good, are we all set to head up? It’s gonna be just us taking down the Brain room. Anyone need healing before we go?” Jeremy asked, turning to face his team.

 

Everyone shook their heads at that. “I’ve been doing quick heals as we go, everyone’s all good,” Brooke reassured him.

 

Jeremy put a hand on Brooke’s shoulder and shot her a grateful smile. “Perfect. Let’s go.” They made their way through the first floor of the processor with no trouble. There were no patrols or guards, everyone too busy with the battle outside. It was eerily quiet inside, and Jeremy had to repress a shiver. “It’s freaky being back in here. The next level up is where the labs would start for about four floors, then training rooms up until the Brain pods...” Jeremy’s voice was quiet, losing himself a little in the memories.

 

He felt himself come back to when he realized Jenna’s hand was resting on his shoulder. “We trust you to lead us up there and disconnect those Brains.”  
  


The journey up was uneventful, with no one else being present in the processor. “He’s expecting us, isn’t he?” Rich muttered, and Jeremy couldn’t help but nod. Another floor, another set of stairs. Jeremy was glad he had gotten so fit in the past year.

 

They came out into a large, circular room, taking up the entire floor. The walls were a dark purple, and there were black wires connecting to panels in the ceiling. Black pods with green glass coverings were scattered around, all connected to many screens and displays. Inside each and every pod was a person, partially suspended in liquid, with a mask over their mouth and noses and wires connecting to their bald heads. Looking deeper, he saw no soul, only a grey mass with no glow whatsoever. They were even more disconnected than people on the shots, they just existed, no thoughts of their own. Jeremy felt his heart stutter. The Brains always used to make him feel uncomfortable, even when he was excited to be one.

 

He could tell that everyone else felt even more uncomfortable and freaked out than they did. Somehow, though, Jenna was able to walk closer to one of the pods, watching the person (if you could even call them that) floating in there before turning to Jeremy. “I’m glad you’re here with us now, Jeremy.”

 

Jeremy walked over to the nearest pod and started tapping away at the screen. “This was almost me. If you hadn’t found me, this _would_ have been me…” he mused quietly. “I’m sorry you had to go through this...” He kept tapping away at the screens, setting the pod to essentially fry the Brain as soon as it was disconnected.

 

He could feel Jenna and the others watching him go before they followed suit and did the same with the other pods. “Once you’ve set up the system, unhook the pod via the connector at the back,” Jeremy instructed, doing it himself. As he did, the liquid inside went from a vivid, neon green to a bright red.

 

For a split second, the Brain’s eyes opened and Jeremy saw a spark of color in their soul. He reached out, as if to open the pod, but they had already gone, died in the space of seconds. Without the machine, they wouldn’t survive. Horrified, Jeremy stumbled backwards, pressing himself against the wall. “They’re still alive in there. They still had a little life in them. I just _killed_ him!” He was on the verge of hyperventilating. He had thought Brains lost themselves to the SQUIP totally after the first year, but it seemed that even almost thirty years later, they still existed in some sort of state.

 

He felt hands gently rest on his shoulder before he looked up to see Brooke there. “Hey, they can’t live like this though. They’ve been stuck like this for thirty years, Jeremy, do you want them to live like nothing, no thoughts or any aspects of them from who they used to be in tact?” With Brooke talking to him, he wasn’t able to see or notice the others handling this for Jeremy.

 

Jeremy shook his head, trying to calm himself down a bit. His breathing was still erratic. “No. But they were like me, Brooke. They were _kids_ and I just killed one. Even if it was a mercy, I still killed one...”

 

He could feel something settling in him, helping guide him how to properly breathe. Jeremy could vaguely remember that this was something Michael told him about, that Brooke used with him to help calm him from panic attacks. “They were, but the SQUIP did this to all of them. We’re doing the right thing, even if it doesn’t feel like it.”

 

With Brooke’s help, Jeremy calmed his breathing back to normal and he finally managed to focus back on Brooke properly. “No more,” he whispered, “No more kids. No more Brains. This ends now.” The determination to stop the SQUIP bubbled back up inside of him, and he felt himself start to project a little from the intensity of the feeling. Normally, something this strong would just filter through the bond to Michael, but since that was closed, the feelings were pushed outwards instead.  
  


Brooke just nodded, helping him to stand steady as she rubbed his back. “It does. No one else has to suffer like this. Are you ready to help the rest of these Brains and go get Mikey back?”

 

Jeremy nodded, starting back to the next pod. Each pod he deactivated, he whispered an apology, hoping they found rest wherever they might be. It was better this way, but that didn’t mean it was easy.

 

Finally, the last of the pods were deactivated. “Okay, so my team comes up with me. The rest of you need to stay here, guard the entrance to the processor ad make sure no patrols come up.”

 

Chloe appeared by the staircase. “We have about ten patrols on their way. Madeline’s group is taking them from behind but they’re too fast to get them all. We need to move now!”

 

Jeremy nodded. “You heard her, get going!”

 

Everyone else nodded, and went the ways they were supposed to, Jeremy’s group following his lead.

 

“The SQUIP is being held upstairs in the main room of the processor by the spell I told you about. He can’t leave while he’s still in his body, and he can’t leave his body without a willing host,” Jeremy explained as they walked. “It has to be a true agreement too, so someone on a basic shot shouldn’t work.”

 

‘ _Or someone whose soul is totally suppressed but that would take weeks to work, thank god_ ,’ Jeremy thought to himself, deciding to keep that quiet. No need to worry anyone. Everyone else nodded as they hurried to get to the room.

 

Jeremy paused outside of the SQUIP’s room. He turned to his team, made up of every single one of his closest friends, save for Michael. He shot them a tired smile. “This is it, once we go in, this will be the final time we face the SQUIP together. Let’s make sure it’s the last time ever. Now quick, drink your Earthing potions so his shocks can’t effect you.”

 

Jeremy pulled out the phial and downed it on one shot. It tasted horrible. Everyone else nodded as they followed suit, with Rich gagging after he downed the shot.

 

As soon as everyone had finished, Jeremy pushed open the doors. Inside, the room reminded Jeremy so much of his nightmares: the off white and grey tones, the black tile floors, the dim lights. This was where he would talk to the SQUIP and this would the last place he would ever face it. Steeling himself, Jeremy pushed further in.

 

The SQUIP stood in the center of the room, arrogant and proud, grinning much like a shark would to a little fish before the shark ate it. Everything about him seemed too perfect, too controlled. He felt _wrong_ , even more wrong in person than he did in dreams or memories. Next to him, Michael stood to attention, face blank and arms held dutifully by his side. He had a new pair of glasses and it seemed like he had been cleaned up specifically for this moment. Jeremy's heart broke when he saw all the cuts and bruises covering the skin exposed by his plain, white shirt. His face seemed mostly untouched. Off to the side, sitting at a desk and writing furiously, sat Noel. She seemed blissfully unaware about the fight that was surely about to happen, and she would glance up every few seconds before writing again. Maybe she was here to record everything that happened. The SQUIP would be the sort to gloat about this event if he won.

 

“Michael, Noel, it’s good to see you again, I’ve missed you both so much,” Jeremy said, almost casually. His tone and posture deathly calm, and to someone who didn’t know him, he would look totally at ease. Anyone who _did_ know him, however, would see the rage bubbling just under the surface. “SQUIP, you’ve got something very precious to me. I’m here to take them _both_ back.”

 

Despite all of this, the SQUIP’s look didn’t falter as he just hummed. “Oh, you have, Jeremiah? I’m sorry, but they don’t wish to leave. Isn’t that right?”

 

Michael just nodded at that as Noel said from behind the desk, “Yes, sir, we want to stay. You should stay here with us, we miss you too, Jeremy.”

 

Jeremy didn’t flinch, didn’t hesitate like his body wanted to. He pushed against the cracks in his soul, keeping himself focused. “That’s Bluejay, to you SQUIP. And as for them staying, I can’t say they’d agree if they could actually think or feel for themselves. Right now, they’re just puppets on a string, but I wonder what would happen if I cut it?” Jeremy paused for a second, getting a feel for the room. There was no weakness from Michael’s system, the shot put in him was too recent, too strong, but Noel on the other hand...

 

Jeremy raised his hand, palm out, in her direction. “I’m sorry about this, Noel, but you’ll thank me for it later.” He pushed, reconnecting her feelings, and the wave of horror he felt come off of her was painfully strong. He didn’t take his eyes off the SQUIP.

 

He could hear her fall out of the chair as she let out a horrified cry, following with her incessant apologies, all directed to Michael, who wasn’t even acknowledging what just happened in any way. ” _Michael, baby, oh my god, I’m so sorry I did this to you, honey_!”

 

Jeremy ignored her, even as he saw Brooke run over to her side to help her up and try to calm her. He stayed focused on the SQUIP. “I just gotta ask: why take away emotions? Why do any of this? I get you want control, but there are other ways, better ways. I literally came up with about six on my way up here, and that’s without even trying.” He kept his tone light, even as he started circling slowly. He wanted to see what he could use besides Rich’s powers. Those were a last resort.

 

“Because it’s quite powerful when you can drain them away from people. Taking them and using it to sustain myself is one benefit, but being able to see those emotions break and disappear forever is so sweet and entertaining, especially if they put up a good fight.” The SQUIP seemed unphased by Noel’s outbreak, as if it was boring to him and expected.

 

Nothing useful yet. “Ah, I get it. You’re a sick fuck! That explains so much!” Any fear he had felt towards the SQUIP had been left behind days ago. Instead, the snarky confidence Michael had channeled drove through him. Jeremy kept circling. “You’re dying though, aren’t you? So those emotions you’re feeding on aren’t really doing much for you there. I mean, you’ve got _wrinkles_ and your body is what? Twenty-five? Thirty tops?” Jeremy gasped in mock horror. He had almost made it all the way around and, as requested, his friends had done nothing so far. The would stay out of it unless Jeremy was gone.

 

The SQUIP just shrugged then, eyes lazily following him, as if he expected no threat to come from Jeremy. "Oh, I see what you're trying to do. Mm, you can't goad me like that, Jeremy, you aren't as skilled as Michael is- oh, sorry, I should say _was_ , shouldn't I?"

 

Jeremy arched an eyebrow, squashing his instant reaction to lunge at the SQUIP. He was playing the same game Jeremy was and Jeremy wasn’t about to lose. “Was? I think you mean is. I mean, he’s not exactly feeling himself right now but I can tell you with absolute certainty that Michael is still in there. Michael is still fighting, even if his mind gave in. His soul is so much stronger than any drug you’ve got in him.” Jeremy stopped, leaning casually against Rich’s shoulder, arching an eyebrow. “Do you hear him, Michael? S’like he doesn’t even know you.”

 

For a minute, it seemed like Michael wasn't going to react at all. The SQUIP just laughed a dignified, perfect laugh, keeping himself composed and tall, though whether or not he saw the slight shake for a millisecond in Michael's leg could be debated. "Oh, it doesn't matter what he _was_ like, Jeremiah. All that matters is who he is _now_." He walked behind Michael, hands resting against his shoulders with no reaction from Michael. "Even if he doesn't look perfect, it's a reminder to everyone else at least. He doesn't think, doesn't speak unless spoken to, and doesn't act unless told to. He's a perfect soldier, a perfect bodyguard, and a perfect being who does as told and nothing else. No pain or heartbreak there to bring him down, no worries to keep him at bay."

 

Jeremy scowled. “Heartbreak and worries suck, I know that better than anyone-“ The cracks in his soul were proof enough. “-but they’re a part of being alive. Nothing is _supposed_ to be perfect, and you can’t have the good without the bad. Pain is going to happen, no matter what, but love and happiness and trust all carry you through it. It give you something to live _for_. Michael is the one who taught me that. He’s the one who brought me out of that emptiness and if you expect me to believe for even a _second_ that he’s totally gone, then you have another thing coming.” Jeremy started to feel around using his magic, locating what he needed. “And I said to call me Bluejay. Not Jeremiah, not Jeremy, Bluejay. Only my friends get that pleasure.”

 

"Oh, this is so humorous, honestly. You seriously think that you can walk in here, lecture me on the importance of 'feeling' and 'emotions' and think you can defeat me with magic and all of that? I'm a demon that has been around since the dawn of time, you do not scare me, _Jeremiah_." Looking down at him from behind Michael, his hands tightened around the other's shoulders, though there was still no reaction from Michael, not even another twitch of his leg.  
  


“You represent the shadows from the dawn of time and you’re bored out of your mind, we get it.” Jeremy sighed heavily, as though exasperated. “I have found one big weakness though, one glaringly obvious fault which I don’t think even you realized. Want me to tell you it? I mean, you wanted me for my brain, right?”

 

The SQUIP raised an amused brow at that, lying his arms down now across Michael's shoulders before resting his head on top of the other's. "Oh, really? Do tell, I am _dying_ to know."

 

Jeremy fought against his need to gag at the position the SQUIP took. Instead, he grinned. “It’s your current host. You’re limited to your host currently, and he has one massive drawback when it comes to dealing with witches.” Jeremy chuckled. “He’s colorblind. Totally colorblind. Which means, even if you can see the souls, you can’t tell their powers. Like, I’m a blue soul, I deal with emotion. Michael is red and Brooke is yellow and they both deal with different aspects of reality. And Rich here? Can you tell me his color? Like, Michael _sort_ of knew but I never actually told him.” Jeremy mimicked the SQUIP’s pose, with Rich grinning underneath him. “So tell me, SQUIP, do you want to know what my dear friend Rich is?”

 

"Oh, let me guess, he's the _chosen one_ of sorts, who, if your plan doesn't work, will be able to take me out?" If the SQUIP was startled or frightened in any manner, he didn't show it. "Oh no, I am _so_ scared." His arms wrapped around Michael then, looped loosely around his neck. "Good thing I now have my big, strong bodyguard to protect me from such threats! Oh, woe is me!"

 

Jeremy’s grin turned manic, letting some of the insanity from his cracked soul leak through. “He’s a gold soul. They’re sometimes called orange, but I’m much more partial to gold, personally. They represent, wait for it...” Jeremy raised a finger, starting to tug lightly on one of the ribbons around Rich’s soul, twisting it into himself with ease. He was glad he had already gotten permission. “-purifying light. And the best part about that? He’s letting me borrow it.”

 

In a fluid motion, Jeremy pushed up from Rich’s shoulder and threw out his hand, a beam of golden light gushing from his palm. Where it struck Michael, it passed harmlessly through him (though he did seem to twitch a little) but where it hit the SQUIP, burns and welts appeared on his skin. He stumbled backwards from the force and physical pain it was causing. Jeremy stopped for a second, almost letting the SQUIP catch his breath. He wanted the SQUIP to _suffer_ and Jeremy was going to enjoy it.

 

“Because of what I am, I can boost his power, and he’s letting me use as much as I want. I have two-hundred souls pledging their strength to me and my group, all fully charged with emotions and united by a single goal: to kill you.” Another beam and the SQUIP was forced further back, further away from Michael.

 

For the second time in his life, he saw the SQUIP's facade _break_ , though only for a second. It saw it hold more anger than when Michael had over a week ago in their shared vision, but he knew it was because he _hurt_ him, something that no one had ever done before.

 

When the facade came back, however, it contained that predatory-like smirk with a hint of that manic energy that Jeremy held. "Are you sure you're going to be able to? Michael, stop him."

  
Jeremy, who had stepped forward some to get closer to Michael, to get the SQUIP away from him, didn't have enough time to properly react to Michael, still blank-faced, suddenly in-front of him, grappling with him before kicking out his leg and making him stumble and fall back. A foot, Michael's foot, was pressed down _hard_ to his chest, making it very difficult to breathe.

 

Jeremy gasped for breath and grabbed Michael’s ankle, trying to lift it a little to give himself some small space to breathe again. He became vaguely aware his friends were coming to his rescue. “No! Stay back! It’s not over yet…” he wheezed before turning his gaze up to Michael. His face was as blank as ever, but Jeremy could see it. The tiniest twitch in his lips, the slightly longer blinks.

 

Michael really was still in there, fighting against this. “I don’t hate you, Micah. I know they said I did but I don’t. I love you, nothing will _ever_ change that. You could kill me now, and I would still love you.” His words came out barely as a hiss as he struggled to breathe. The leg on his chest lifted just a fraction, not enough for Jeremy to get up but enough that he could take a slightly deeper breath. Michael was fighting back.

 

As soon as he had his brief reprieve, however, he felt the foot press down again once the SQUIP was in-sight, hovering right behind Michael, ugly damage that ruined his perfect image and all. "Even in the face of demise, you're _still_ trying to reach into the husk of Michael here and get him out. Oh, how _sweet_.

  
"If you will take the time to listen, though, I do have a deal for you. If you become my new host, I will leave the village alone, Michael alone. No harm will come to them and they will live safely and without risk of harm from you as my new host or any orders we may give. How about it?"

 

Jeremy actually paused to think about it. True, he would stop existing to a point, but everyone else would be safe. His friends and family and _Michael_ would all be left alone, would be safe. He’d be lying if he wasn’t tempted.

 

But then, he felt it. The burning passion coming from _somewhere_ , screaming with everything it had a resounding _NO!_ He knew it wasn’t his own. There was only one person who could _ever_ match the intensity of it. Michael. The pieces of Michael’s soul in Jeremy were fighting even now to protect him. Jeremy looked up in Michael’s eyes, and though they were expressionless, Jeremy could see how they were practically begging him to say no. He didn’t have a choice in the matter. Michael made it for him, protecting him in that stupid, self sacrificing way he had.

 

Jeremy’s arm swung up and he let loose another golden beam right in the SQUIP’s face. “In your dreams you sick, ugly fuck!” Jeremy screamed as loudly as he possibly could with his little air.

 

The SQUIP stumbled back again, out of his line-of-sight for a moment as he let out a curse, something inhuman like him. "Well, I guess I'll just have to wait a bit longer than," he heard the SQUIP hiss through teeth.

 

The last time he saw the SQUIP in his current host body was when he held up a syringe with a large shot, with something in it that looked like the concentrated version of the liquid in the Brain's tank. He watched as the SQUIP went and stabbed it into Michael, presumably in the nape of the neck, where all shots were administered.

 

Jeremy then watched as the now-corpse that the SQUIP had been possessing dropped to the ground beside him as Michael's face changed. The blank face he had been bearing shifted, his features scrunching up and contorting in pain as he stumbled back with a hand over the nape, the other clutching at his chest as he gasped, all as the syringe dropped and shattered on the ground.

 

Jeremy, too winded to do more than than lift himself a little on his forearms, was confused. The SQUIP seemed to have died, and Michael seemed to be reacting to... something. There was no way, right? It would take weeks to prep the host, there was no way the SQUIP had transferred over to Michael unwillingly, right? But then, he had weeks, who knew what was in Michael’s food. Jeremy couldn’t help but hope, though. “Micah...? Are... you alright?” he asked slowly, panting slightly, eyebrows furrowing.

 

"Well, I'm not too sure about _him_ , but _I'm_ swell," he heard, but it sounded _wrong_. It wasn't the same tone, it sounded butchered and terrible and _not like Michael_.

  
The pressure on his chest returned, worse than before or could have imagined Michael being able to do. He was seeing spots in his vision as 'Michael' leaned closer to him, the same predatory smile that the SQUIP had bore before on his features, and it was so _wrong_. "What, did you _seriously_ not expect for me to have a back-up plan in case you decided to not take up my deal? You said it yourself, Jeremiah: I've been around since the dawn of time, did you _really_ think I wouldn't have alternatives?"

 

Jeremy’s hands went up to Michael- the SQUIP’s- ankle. It wasn’t Michael anymore. Jeremy had _failed_. Michael was _gone_ and it was all his fault. This was worse than Michael being captured, worse than Michael pinning him, _worse than Jeremy’s soul cracking_ because Michael was _gone_.

 

Tears streamed down Jeremy’s face as he _screamed_. He screamed from heartbreak and pain and loss and grief. Vaguely, he saw his friends double over in pain, clutching their chests with tears in their eyes. Later, he would discover that his dad, on the first floor of the building, was hit by the same pain, his whole team feeling their hearts breaking. Even the SQUIP himself seemed to flinch ever so slightly under the intensity of it all. For now, though, all Jeremy could do was scream and cry. He fell back, arms falling away, head hitting the tiles with a muted _thump_ as he pathetically whimpered. All the fight drained out of him.

 

He heard Michael's laugh come from the SQUIP, but it wasn't the same laugh. It was a 'perfect' version of what a laugh should be, just with Michael's voice. He laughed right in his face as the foot from his chest left, Michael- the SQUIP's- hand grasping at his shirt, pulling him up off of his feet to stare the SQUIP in the eyes of his lost love.

  
"Oh, Jeremiah, I thought you would have seen this coming. After all, you watched as I told him _he'd_ be the one breaking you, and you _heard_ him tell you that he'd be good for me. This is all on you, you know."

 

Jeremy’s head flopped down. He was unable to even muster the energy to keep it up. His fault. This was his fault. He had been right when Michael was captured, right when he saw Michael in the dream last night (was it only last night that he had truly lost Michael?). He had done this. It was his fault. The SQUIP had known Jeremy was there, trying to help, trying to ‘save’ Michael the whole time. He had probably planned for it. The SQUIP had set him up from the beginning. Jeremy should have never left the Inside. Then Michael would have been safe. He did little more than whimper quietly, too heartbroken to function.

 

He felt one of the rough hands that no longer belonged to Michael cup his cheek and raise his head up, forcing him to look the SQUIP in the eyes. "See how nasty these feelings are? Wouldn't it be _much better_ without them? Let me just help you out, just this once."

  
Jeremy felt a wave of power, he _knew_ who it belonged to, he had only felt this weeks ago. He was ready for the pain to go away, for it all to just _stop_ , but it never came. He could feel everything drain from the others, from Michael's powers that the SQUIP was using, all of them just _stop_ like he had weeks ago, _but Jeremy didn't stop feeling and the SQUIP didn't seem to notice as he laughed again_.

  
"There we go, isn't that better?"

 

Jeremy could still feel. He could _still feel_! But how? He felt the tiniest spark in his soul and a memory of a dream danced before his eyes. “I promise I’ll feel again, Michael. And I promise that I’ll never _stop_ feeling again.” His promise to Michael must have been bound to his soul! He needed more time. He needed to _think_ because if Jeremy’s promise stuck then maybe Michael’s did too. He needed time to figure out how to use that, if it even did.

  
He knew that even without feeling anything emotionally, Jeremy would naturally lean into gentle touches (those two days without would certainly help now). So he did. He leaned into the touch, letting his head loll slightly still as he watched with bleary eyes. He needed time, so he had to act. Slowly, almost sleepily, he nodded. “‘Lot better. Doesn’t hurt now,” he mumbled, his voice almost monotone. It was a good thing Michael could only sense where _he_ had moved the love and passion, not how high it was originally, Jeremy needed to be convincing.

 

"See, I told you that not feeling was a lot better. Everyone's feeling so much better now too, they aren't hurting either." Jeremy could hear the slight gloat that he hadn't heard in Michael in such a sinister way, only in a sweet, loving manner or a teasing one. "Now, wouldn't it be better if you didn't have to hurt again? If you could stay like this forever?"

 

If Jeremy’s soul had held the promise, then Michael’s soul would likely have have his promise to hold on. He promised he’d hold on for Jeremy. That meant, though his soul was overwhelmed and muted, it was still a little bit present. The use of his powers was proof enough for that. Jeremy dug around inside himself, poking at every fraction of Michael he possessed. And sure enough, when he saw the mark out of the corner of his eye, there was the tiniest sliver of red in the grey. It wasn’t bright, it wasn’t saturated, but it was _red_. Michael was holding on. Now how to get him out?

  
“Much better. Never hurt again.” Jeremy nodded weakly again, eyes focusing more and more on the brown ones he loved. They had no warmth left in them, they seemed dead inside. His insides twisted in revulsion.

 

"Well, why won't we get started working on that, hm? Just promise, and you'll never hurt again, and you'll be able to stay with Michael forever. Promise me that you want to never hurt again."

 

“I-“ Jeremy knew he could interact on a soul level. “I-“ He just needed his own soul out. And he had done that once before, in a town hall with foreign eyes watching. “I really think you should have boosted my love instead.” Jeremy shot back in a slightly cocky tone.

 

In a swift, smooth movement, he knocked the SQUIP’s hands away and pulled him- Michael, not the SQUIP- down into a kiss. He forced his soul out, remembering the feeling and forcing it into reality as he did with so many other magics. The double vision formed: the dim blue human vision and the bright, clear soul vision. He saw _everything_.

 

His friends all dulled down to barely any glow and his own soul, covered in cracks like broken glaze on porcelain, the twists of red being the only undamaged parts. The SQUIP was a black cloud of smoke surrounding the dulled remains of a dull, red and grey form. Then, taking the moment of surprise of the SQUIP, Jeremy grabbed what was left of Michael’s soul and _pulled_ it away from the dark cloud clinging to it.

 

He could hear the mix of _screams_ , Michael's own as well as something he could only describe as demonic, as he grabbed and pulled. The hands the SQUIP was possessing grabbed onto Jeremy's, holding tight and trying to get him to let go. " _Let. Go_." The two voices mixed sent chills down Jeremy's spine, even if his soul was forced out. "I will _not_ let you ruin all I have worked for! You could have never hurt again, could have felt _good_ forever, you ingrate!"

 

“Never!” Jeremy spat back, his soul speaking instead of his physical being, it’s voice echoing around like a bell chime. He kept pulling, tugging Michael away from the SQUIP. He could feel Michael weakly struggling to get to him, and he pulled harder. He could feel the clouds of the the SQUIP’s form biting at him but he didn’t let go. He _couldn’t_ let go. He had to save Michael.

 

He could feel more of the raw power of the SQUIP than ever before, almost overpowering in how true it was, as he was almost unable to be contained in a vessel with how _hard_ he was tugging, trying to get Michael out of his grasp. "I will make you regret ever being born, you horrible disgrace! You will _never_ feel happiness again, only able to suffer worse pains than your dear Michael did, but they will never end! I will shatter you until you're unable to _ever_ build yourself back up, only to let you deliver the same fate to Michael Mell."

 

Jeremy could feel the people who pledged their loyalty to him, to his cause. He could feel their souls reaching out and sending him power. ‘ _Just like when I showed everyone their souls for the first time_.’ Jeremy marveled, feeling his strength grow. He pulled harder, revealing more and more of Michael’s soul from the haze of the SQUIP. Jeremy could see how that the twists of blue in Michael were still as strong as ever. His heart pounded harder because Michael had kept his piece of Jeremy alive despite losing himself.

 

The SQUIP was being forced out of Michael now, with Michael’s soul getting taking further and further from his grasp. Two beams of golden light began assaulting the exposed form of the SQUIP and he screamed. Jeremy glanced over and saw both Rich and Noel using their powers, the army of souls boosting them enough to hurt the SQUIP.

 

Despite this, despite all of the obvious pain and agony he was in, the SQUIP managed to get out, "How?! You _can't_ feel right now, _how_ are you able to do this?!"

 

Jeremy laughed despite the pain of the attack on his soul by the SQUIP, feeling the SQUIP’s grip weaken even further and Michael come even closer, starting to gain color back. “Michael protected my love through a promise of our souls. Noel and Rich on the other hand, well, you removed their _love_. Their hate is still very much there and it’s all focused on _you_.” Jeremy was feeling joyous, wild. The pain meant nothing as Michael was pulled further and further from the SQUIP, gaining more and more of himself back. He was thrashing against the SQUIP’s control now as well.

 

Before the SQUIP could even get out another word, another quip, anything, Michael's soul was finally yanked out. The purifying light increased from Rich and Noel, and all that could be heard echo through the room was the demonic cries of the SQUIP before they finally vanished, leaving Michael's body standing there, empty as Michael's soul, frail and faint, remained in Jeremy's hold, the red flickering barely as the blue in his soul shined through.

 

Slowly, ever so gently, Jeremy lead Michael’s soul back into his body. He slipped back in with no resistance. Jeremy pressed the equivalent of a kiss onto his metaphorical forehead, letting some of his own strength bleed through, before returning his soul to his own body. Jeremy stumbled backwards, gasping for breath. They did it. They had actually done it! The SQUIP was _gone_ , destroyed for good! There was no way for him to come back!

 

Jeremy lifted his head, a bright smile on his face, eyes glimmering with happiness. “Micah, we did it! We beat him!” The smile dulled, then faded. “Micah?”

 

When he was able to look and see Michael and his soul... well, there wasn't _anything_ to really look at. Any remnants of color seemed to have just vanished, even the blue that Michael seemed so keen to keep over his own color. Even before, when he had looked at Michael, there was at least _something_ left of him, but now he just was truly blank, hollow, empty. Now…

 

“No...” Jeremy slowly walked over to Michael, hand lightly cupping his cheek. “No.” Tears started pouring down his face once more, his words more of a sob than a word. Michael didn’t even twitch, his vacant gaze still staring straight ahead. “Nononononono, you weren’t supposed to leave me, Micah.” Jeremy’s words were a jumbled mess but he didn’t care. Michael was _gone_. “You were supposed to stay with me. You _promised_. You promised after this we’d be together. That you’d marry me. You can’t just leave me, not now.” Michael had promised and now he was breaking it. The first promise he’d ever broken. Jeremy felt just as broken. His soul was starting to crumble, just a little. He didn’t fight it.

 

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and could barely hear who was talking. "Jeremy, I... I think his soul was so twisted and battered that the process... He couldn't handle it, from the SQUIP and everything that happened. I know he tried so hard to stay, he tried, but... Please, Jeremy." Jeremy felt who he could faintly recognize as Noel, who was talking, trying to lead him away. "Let us help him now." The 'if we can' went unspoken.

 

Jeremy yanked his shoulder away with an almighty scream of “NO!” as he curled himself against Michael’s chest, clinging to the white shirt desperately as he continued to sob. “No no no you can’t take him from me, I won’t let you! I won’t leave him again!” Jeremy’s soul cracked further. He wouldn’t live in a world without Michael. He _wouldn’t_. Michael was gone and it was Jeremy’s fault. So Jeremy would let his soul go too. Then they could be together again, always and forever.

 

"Jeremy, he wouldn't want you to not live," Noel pleaded, sounded like she was choking up as her hand returning to his shoulder as she still tried. "This hurts, but please, this _isn't_ what he would want and you know it."

 

“I won’t leave him, I won’t. I won’t leave him, Mama, I can’t do it again,” Jeremy babbled, still sobbing against Michael’s chest. He didn’t try to throw her off this time though, just continued to cling desperately.  
  


"Jeremy... He's still going to be _with_ you, but he's just... he's not not present right now. Please, just come with me for now."

 

Jeremy _knew_ she was right. Michael wasn’t there right then, maybe never would be again. Jeremy didn’t leave him, Michael left Jeremy. His tears slowed and his sobs quietened down to weak gasps.“Please Mama, just... give me one more minute. I just need one more minute...” He knew he sounded broken. He _was_ broken. He didn’t know if he’d ever be whole again. People didn’t recover once they lost their soulmates, especially if their soul was damaged.

 

He could feel not just Noel, but everyone else in the room watching him at this point. Noel finally removed her hand from his shoulder, letting out a small, "Alright," before he heard her step back, back to where his friends were.

 

Jeremy stayed against Michael’s chest for a little longer, letting his gasps slowly stop as well. He felt like he had nothing else to give. There _was_ nothing else to give. His everything was _gone_. Shakily, Jeremy pulled back and reached up. He gently, so so gently, cupped Michael’s face and pressed a small, tender kiss to his lips. “I did that because I wanted to,” he murmured, his voice so rough and broken. “You wanted me to once as well.”

 

He dropped his hands, interlacing his left hand with Michael’s, the ring a warm point between them. He curled up against Michael’s chest again. “I’m sorry I wasn’t enough to save you. I love you so much. I’m going to love you for the rest of my existence. Always and forever, Micah. Promise.” It was a sort of goodbye, the closest Jeremy could manage with how broken and tired he felt. His fight and the previous hours were finally hitting him emotionally and physically, along with the exhaustion from all the magic he had used. He was liable to pass out any minute from it all.

 

Even through his exhaustion, though, he could feel the slight twitch of something. He was sure it was his own hand, as he was slowly becoming unable to distinguish if it had been his own fingers of Michael's. Michael was gone, there was no way he could just suddenly be back.

  
He was so sure of it, and sure Noel would have to pull him away until he felt a gentle squeeze on his hand, the one holding Michael's hand. Again, he was sure it was his exhausted imagination-

  
"Jeremy? Why're y'crying?"

 

Jeremy pulled back only enough to look up at Michael. He felt the tears begin again as he saw _Michael_ staring back down at him, looking dazed and confused and _alive_. He couldn’t help himself. He was up, pressing kisses wherever he could reach. “You’re here, you’re okay, you’re alive! Oh my Micah I’m so happy. You’re okay. Oh I love you so much!” Jeremy didn’t try to control his words, too focused on Michael _care_ about anything, anyone else. His own exhaustion didn’t matter. All that matter was that Michael was _back_.

 

Everything else faded to the background, his focus only on the boy he now held. He was almost hyper-aware of every minuscule detail, which included the sudden weight he felt leaning against him. "'M here... You're here, 's OK... 'M tired."

 

Jeremy didn’t feel the fractures in his soul, he didn’t feel how his muscles quivered, or how his head _ached_ in a rhythmic pound. No, Michael was tired, Michael needed energy and rest. So Jeremy would provide, he’d look after his Michael perfectly from now on.

  
“Of course, sweetheart. Let’s get you to bed,” Jeremy murmured, scooping Michael up into a bridal carry, ignoring the protests of his muscles and his friends. They weren’t Michael so they didn’t matter. He knew there were several rooms off of the main one from his time training here, so he quickly opened the doors and got Michael tucked up in the plush bed. He didn’t have his blanket, but that didn’t matter. He could stay close instead. He curled up next to Michael, wrapping himself around him entirely, and let as much energy as he could muster pour through the newly reawakened bond. Jeremy kept kissing wherever he could reach.

 

He could feel Michael shift, if only slightly, before Michael's hand gently brushed against him. "Thank you, Jer'my... 'love you so much." Michael's voice, faint and exhaustion-ridden, sounded better than anything he'd heard since they were separated.

  
“Anything for you, Micah,” Jeremy whispered. “I love you too. More than everything else combined.” Another kiss, and a promise to himself. Jeremy was never going to let Michael he taken from him again. He was going to care for Michael, look after Michael, _love_ Michael better than anyone else possibly could. Jeremy curled up protectively against him, eyeing the now closed door suspiciously. No one would _ever_ take Michael away ever again.


	19. A Lost Train of Thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK... I promise that the next chapter, the conclusion/epilogue, that everything will be good. Things are technically good here, but it's still gonna hurt a lot. It's not true fluff, but a fucked up kind? Eh??? Yeah, I figured you guys probably wouldn't like that.  
> Mara's wise words:
> 
> 'I mean, it’s kinda fluffy? They’re alive, right? Right??!! :))))'
> 
> \--
> 
> WARNING (all are brief):   
> * marks the start and end of vomit mention, no actual action of doing it  
> ** marks the start and end of homophobia in conversation  
> *** marks the start and end of child abuse discussion

It didn't take long for anyone to realize that Jeremy and Michael, after the hardships they endured, weren't to be moved. No, they were in too fragile of a state and needed to be helped and returned to _some_ state from before Michael's kidnapping, and Jenna was the first one to realize this.

  
She went to check on the pair first, as everyone else had been recovering and checking on one another. People who were needing to get a new shot were slowly starting to be lulled out of their Controlled mindset, and Jenna wanted to let Jeremy know. What she walked into, however, was something that really settled poorly with her.

  
Jeremy was sitting there in the bed, his fingers stilling in Michael's hair. She was sure he had been in the middle of giggling, she could hear it from outside (although there had been something... _off_ about it). He was staring right into her, suspicious, startling, and protective (or possibly possessive?) until he seemed to recognize it was her, and it returned to a more relaxed state, though not what he seemed to have before.

  
Michael, on the other hand, seemed so... out of it. Even from the doorway, she could tell he couldn't even tell she was there, nor hear her come in. His gaze was entirely up, focused only on Jeremy, as he held a silly (and not in the good way) smile and giggled.

  
"Uh... hey Jeremy, hi Mikey." No response from Michael, he just continued to stare fondly at Jeremy, hyper-focused. "How're you guys doing?..."

 

Michael seemed to still not have heard her and Jeremy just continued to stare at her, though with less intensity than when she came in. Looking at the pair a little closer (although not physically, Jeremy had curled tighter around Michael when she had stepped closer, an almost panicked look in his eye), Jenna got a feel for the situation.

  
Michael was totally out of it, almost drugged up. It made sense, he had been through a lot, this was probably just his body’s way of dealing with it all. Jeremy on the other hand seemed a bit more... flighty. There was a wild look in his eye, like he himself wasn’t quite present in the situation, was ready to bolt or fight at a moment’s notice.

  
Jenna moved to speak again, wanting to see if she could break through a little, when Michael’s giggles drew out to a small whine, his body freezing a little. Instantly, Jeremy’s gaze was off Jenna and back down on Michael. “It’s okay, Micah. I’ve got you,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to Michael’s temple. Michael instantly seemed to calm down, his slightly tenser posture giving way to something almost... gooey, like melted chocolate, while Jeremy just seemed to droop. His eyes became heavier and a dopey grin spread onto his face. He began just cooing over Michael again, small giggles intermingled, and had apparently forgotten all about Jenna’s presence. She had no idea what was going on.

 

Jenna couldn't help but worry intensely when she witnessed this. She took a hesitant step closer, though Jeremy seemed to be too honed in on Michael to really notice, which she wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not. It at least gave her a chance to look over the two and notice something that horrified her.

  
Their marks were working, that much was sure, but the marks themselves weren't the same as they used to be. Jeremy's was so faint and flickering, though large sections of it had the sick, neon green, though still present, while Michael's... His mark seemed like it was infected with black gook, reminding her of mold as it sort of spider-webbed itself along the mark.

 

Jeremy had told her about how the marks worked. She _knew_ these were direct links to their souls. Which meant her friends were in a worse way than she thought. After watching Jeremy fuss over Michael for a second more, she bolted out the room, going in search of Noel and Lynn, who had been part of Mr. Heere’s group. She needed to tell their parents straight away.

 

Telling them and trying to deal with this at first, though, ended up being worse than Jenna could have imagined. When she walked into the room, Jeremy didn't seem to pay her much mind again, but when their parents walked in, Jeremy instantly curled himself around Michael, like he was shielding him from them all.

  
"Jeremy, it's alright. No one's here to hurt either of you. It's me, Jenna, and your dad and Michael's moms," she tried, hands held up in mock-surrender.

 

At this, Mr. Heere tried to take a hesitant step forward, but Jeremy pulled Michael right up against his chest as he stared with anxious intensity, a mix of fear and anger. The man stopped right away, taking a step back that had him relax just a little, though he kept Michael cradled against his chest still, though Michael himself didn't seem to mind as he fiddled a bit with the fabric of Jeremy's Bluejay blazer.

 

Jenna quickly described to the adults what the pair's marks looked like, as well as making sure to explain how they worked. By the time she was done, the adults in the room seemed to have paled, which didn't help with Jeremy's mood. "I can help to figure out a way to reverse the effects on what's been done to Michael since I worked closely with the SQUIP, but it will take a long while to come up with something. We can't move them either. I think... The SQUIP's serum drains the emotion and energy out for himself, even if he isn't there, so the serum still infected into his system keeps draining his energy. Jeremy's unnaturally giving him more, and that low-energy coupled with the SQUIP's infection is causing him to go a bit mad. There's a way to save him too, but I think only Michael could truly get him out of it..."

 

“Then we need to save Michael first.” Jenna nodded seriously. “What do you need? We’ll find a way to get it.”

 

Mr. Heere thought for a moment eyeing the boys carefully. “I need a blood sample from Michael. I know the serum, I don’t know how it’s interacting with his system.”

 

Jenna thought, then pulled Noel to one side. “You can use needles, right? I distract Jeremy, you get the blood.” Noel hesitated, then nodded.

 

Minutes later, they were ready. Slowly, Jenna walked over to Jeremy, keeping her posture low and calming. She was muttering quietly to keep Jeremy’s hesitant but unafraid gaze on her. “Jeremy, I promise we only want to help. It’s gonna be okay, we’re gonna help Mikey first then you.”

 

Jeremy glanced at her, keeping her in his peripheral vision as he kept Michael close to him, cradled against his chest at this point with a hand against his back and the other tangled in his hair. "I can help him, I have him, he's not leaving me again," he told her, though whether he _knew_ who she was right now wasn't something Jenna could tell.

 

“I know you can, Jeremy. And I want to help him too. Please, just relax? I only want to help...” It was hard, but Jenna kept herself calm.

 

Slowly, Jeremy seemed to relax a little. “...Jenna?” He was squinting, but that was the first time he had said anyone’s name other than Michael.

 

“That’s right, Jeremy. It’s me. I wanna help Michael too, remember? I promise, he can stay right with you, no one will take him away from you again.”

 

He seemed to still hold Michael as close as before, who was still hyper-focused on the jacket, but the rest of him relaxed just a little more. "You _aren't_ going to take him away? You're going to let me keep helping him?" Jeremy asked, as if testing her.

 

“Of course. He’s my best friend, Jeremy. You’re the best help he can get. Just let us help too, okay?” she cooed, pushing a little magic into her words. The real Jeremy, outside of this sickly version, would want their help looking after Michael. Jenna’s magic only helped him remember that without pushing her soul any brighter.

 

As the magic worked, he seemed to think more about this as he glanced down at Michael, who looked back up at him with that gooey grin, head happily resting against his chest. Without looking back at Jenna, just continuing to stare down at Michael, he asked, "How?"

 

Jenna thought for a second. “You see the green stuff in Michael’s soul? We’re gonna get it out so he can be all red and blue again. That’s all, we want to help him be more red, is all. All your dad needs is one blood sample. That’s it, just one. And you can hold him the entire time and we’ll leave straight after, I promise.” There was a muffled sound of protest behind her, but Jenna threw her hand out to silence it. “I _promise_.”  


He seemed to think this over, glancing over at Jenna for a moment before looking back down at Michael, who was now fiddling with Jeremy's sleeve since his hand had stilled in his hair. For a moment, Jenna could see some kind of reason come back to Jeremy before he nodded. "Leave right after, 'm gonna need to help calm him down after. He doesn't like needles, not anymore after what happened." How Jeremy knew that without Michael saying anything, despite how wrecked their souls were, was beyond Jenna, but she wasn't going to argue with him, especially not when he was agreeing to do this.

 

Jenna nodded and motioned for Noel to do it. Jenna offered her hand forwards, and Jeremy let her take Michael’s hand in her own (not before glaring suspiciously at it). She rubbed calming circles on his knuckles as Noel reached over and drew the blood.

 

Michael _screamed_ , panic overtaking him as he thrashed and fought. Jeremy and Jenna both worked to keep him still. It wasn’t the most efficient blood taken, but it would do. Noel backed off as soon as it was done, as did Jenna, and Jeremy instantly went to murmuring reassurances to Michael. Jenna saw him send a little energy and Michael’s body calmed immediately, even as Jeremy lost more cohesion in his eyes.

 

Jenna only did anything when offering cotton to rest over where the blood was drawn, which was quickly given by Mr. Heere. Jeremy seemed freaked by it for a second, though quickly took it and pressed it over the spot. Somehow, he also let her put a bandage over the spot, though she backed off almost instantly, which seemed to relax Jeremy.

  
Once she was back, he seemed to lose any sense of her being there, much like he had earlier, and focused entirely on cooing over Michael, who lied in his arms peacefully now. The sight was more than eerie and distressing, but Jenna quickly ushered the other adults in the room out to leave the two be for now, no matter how heartbreaking and awful it was to do.

 

“That’s what happened earlier. Michael sort of... fell out of being relaxed, even a little, and Jeremy transferred energy. Then neither of them were really there anymore,” she explained sadly.

 

Mr. Heere put a calming hand on her shoulder. “I’ll get right on this, we’ll get them back.” He turned to the Mells. “Noel, you have experience with potions and in the labs here, I’m going to need your help. Lynn, I need you to go and grab as many healers from the village as you can, anyone who wasn’t in the battle. We’re going to need to make sure they get enough energy to keep going until we can cure Michael.” The adults all nodded and split up, leaving Jenna alone.

 

‘ _Sure, it’s not like I was second in command or anything_ ,’ she mentally grumbled to herself, more frustrated that there wasn’t more she could do than actually upset. Taking a deep breath, she did the next best thing. She went off to find the rest of Jeremy and Michael’s (extended) family to tell them the bad news.

 

Of course, they didn't take it well either. Everyone was either crushed, heart-broken, or some culmination of the two.

  
Throughout finding everyone and telling them, though, Jenna was sure to bring Jeremy and Michael food. Hey, it would help them, and she could be of _some_ apparent help to them. They were still her friends, just a bit sick, even if all of the adults were acting like they were walking on eggshells around them. She dropped it off, and thankfully Jeremy was present enough to notice her and eventually thank her before she left to tell the rest of the friend group about the two's current state.

  
What she didn't expect when she went back to check on them was for Lynn and Noel to be running past her like bats out of hell, going to where she was heading to as well. Panic settled in her guts as she rushed after them.

 

*  
She burst into the room right behind them and had to pause to stop herself from vomiting. Micheal, for some reason, had been sick all over himself and was still partly gagging on it. That was more because it was fresh though, she thought. Jeremy was fussing over him, trying unsuccessfully to clean him up with the napkin Jenna had left. Okay, as gross as it was, Jenna needed to do a split second analysis.

  
She had brought two portions of food, nothing too rich so as not to upset Michael’s stomach, and left them while Jeremy was lucid. He didn’t appear to be very lucid now, which meant that at some point he had given Michael energy, most likely before eating. And when Jeremy gave energy, he could only focus on Michael... maybe he had given all the food to Michael? Even as bland as it was, that much food after eating nothing but paste would upset anyone’s stomach. She quickly explained her conclusion to Noel and Lynn as she pulled some fresh linens from the cupboard.

*

  
Now for the hard part, how to clean them up? Jeremy seemed clean, thank god, and Michael was still in the Inside clothes, which mean they would be clean enough in a few minutes. However, the bed sheets were not made of the same material and would need changing. Not to mention that they needed to clean Michael’s skin up and Jeremy’s hands.

 

Jenna carefully walked over to Jeremy and Michael then, watching and managing to hold her own lunch down as she tried to bring his attention, at least somewhat, to her. "Jeremy, I can help you two. Please, if you can get up with me, I can help you two get cleaned," she tried to reason with him.

  
He looked over then, somehow managing to focus on her, though his eyes went to her sheets. Grabbing for them, she quickly pulled them back and put them down on the table behind her. "No, Jeremy, a different way. Let me help you two up and into the bathroom over there." She pointed to it, and watched Jeremy's gaze follow before he seemed to be thinking it all over.

  
Jeremy nodded, and by this point, Michael seemed to have calmed down, which was a relief. Jenna had to stand back though and make sure Jeremy wouldn't fall, as he refused to let anyone else touch Michael as he picked him up and managed to make his way to the bathroom. She made sure to follow, thanking Noel and Lynn as they quickly started to clean up the room.

  
Once in the bathroom, Jenna made sure her back was turned to give the two privacy after she drew a bath up for them. She heard Jeremy undress the two before going into the bath. She swayed in place as she tried to keep her mind occupied by different things, and ended up standing there for half an hour before she heard Jeremy get out with Michael, and then get dried with nearby towels she had set up before she was sure they were changed. Looking back, she gave a gentle smile to the two, especially since Jeremy seemed a bit more present than before, as he was able to actually _see_ her. "Thank you, Jenna..."

 

Jenna felt relief wash through her. No matter how bad they may seem, her friends were still in there. She would make sure to remind everyone of that if they started to detach from them. “You’re welcome, Jeremy.” She smiled softly at them. “Please remember that I only want to help, yeah? I won’t try to separate you or do anything that isn’t to help you. I want Michael an-... I want him healthy again as much as you do.” Jenna refrained from adding that she wanted Jeremy healthy too. He didn’t seem to take too well having his own health questioned. “No matter who else you are scared of, you can trust me, okay?”

 

As much as she hated needing to baby him, but she needs to establish a level of trust soon or else Jeremy would end up hurting himself or Michael by accident. If he trusted Jenna, she could help keep him from hurting himself again.

 

He seemed to think over this for a moment, as if weighing all of these pros and cons that his mind seemed to be supplying him with in his off-set state of mind. Eventually, he nodded as he held Michael close. Jenna was relieved to see that Michael was able to stand at least, though he did need some support from Jeremy. "OK, I trust you." His gaze looked down to Michael then as he spoke directly to him. "Michael, did you hear that? You can trust Jenna too, alright?"

  
Michael just hummed out in reply, though he had his eyes shut and apparently planned on keeping it that way as he held onto Jeremy, fiddling with the end of his jacket.

 

Jenna didn’t move to touch either of them, as much as a quick hug would have been appreciated. She was worried, okay? It wasn’t her fault that she was used to Michael hugs when she got worried. Instead, she focused on what could be the most help.

  
“How about you to get some sleep? I’ll close the door and make sure no one comes in while you’re napping, and we can try again with the food later, yeah? And I’ll even send someone to go and get you your special blanket and your favorite clothes. Then you can be extra comfy.” She had seen the blanket so many times during her visits. She hoped it might help keep them both a bit more present. Jeremy thought for a second, then nodded. Without another word, he helped Michael back into bed and climbed in himself, curling around him protectively, watching Jenna carefully.

  
She left the room instantly, knowing this was a test. She could tell Noel and Lynn about this later, for now she just really needed a hug. Chrissy should be around here somewhere.

 

After looking around some, she managed to find Chrissy talking with Brooke as they were seeming to take a break from helping lead people and directing them. Chrissy saw Jenna first, and quickly got up, interrupting her conversation with Brooke, and bringing Jenna into a great big hug, which she melted into and almost broke. "What happened, Jen?"

  
It took all Jenna had to not break as she explained, and by the end of it, Brooke was also hugging her and rubbing her back. "You're doing the right thing, Jenny," Brooke told her, "You're the only one that I think Jeremy will listen to. I'm sorry you have to be the one to do this, but while Jeremy's dad and Michael's moms are working on keeping them in a somewhat stable state, I think you're the only one that can help them otherwise."

 

Jenna nodded, not pulling away. “I _know_ but it’s so hard to see them like this. And it hurts because I’m going to have to spend all my time looking after them because no one else _can_. I’m going to have to be nice and calm and gentle when all I want to do is _scream_ at them. I just want them better. I just want them back...” Tears gathered up, but didn’t fall. Jenna stayed strong for another day.

 

 

 

She continued to stay strong, despite some hiccups in the month-long process it took for the antidote to be made for Michael. Everything seemed to be in a routine at this point: Jeremy transfers energy to Michael, Michael is somewhat aware while Jeremy's focus is solely on Michael with a frightening intensity and disregard for himself, Jeremy coos and cares for Michael, Jenna gives food to the pair when Jeremy's lucid enough to eat and properly feed Michael, they bathe and freshen up however they need to, and then the process repeats.

  
It was a few days into this process when Brooke and Chrissy came to visit, and there was a bump in this pattern. Normally, Michael would only make sounds and noises in response to whatever Jeremy said, even if Jeremy had just refilled his energy that the serum in him drained. This time, as Jenna stood by the bedside table and Christine and Brooke were watching them from the wall, Michael spoke up after Jeremy's incessant talk of him being so warm, so sweet, so loving.

  
"You keep sayin' 'm warm, Jere, but you're _hot_." It was the first real thing Michael had said since this all started, and the three girls in the room surely had no idea what to do. Jenna kept a hand up to make sure the girls didn't react or freak, because they all honestly had no clue how Michael would react to them reacting to this. It was better to just stay back and watch what unfolded.

 

Jeremy giggled, a small blush on his cheeks and the moment would have been so sweet and corny if it wasn’t for the circumstances. They watched as Jeremy sleepily nuzzled at Michael’s cheek, cooing out thanks. “You’re so much hotter though, Micah. So handsome.”

 

Michael seemed to preen a little, eyes focusing just a fraction more. “You’re like... the sun. Warm and beautiful and... everything.” Michael’s words trailed off into nothingness again but it had happened. Michael was still fighting to survive.

 

Jenna escorted the other two girls away once they were sure he wasn’t going to say anything else. “That was the first time he’s spoken...” Jenna felt a little misty eyed, smiling softly at the girls.

 

Brooke gently rested a hand onto her shoulder then, giving her a soft smile before squeezing. "He's still fighting, even now. We just have to wait a bit longer for the antidote, Jenny."  
  


  
And wait longer they did, but not just for the antidote. It took longer than it should have to have gotten Jeremy and Michael's clothes and blanket, as all of the adults were insistent on how it should be cleaned and cared for and presented. Their paranoia seriously irritated her, but she pushed through it because she finally had it.

  
After knocking on the door and announcing herself, Jenna came in, bundles of clothes in her arms and the fuzzy blanket tossed carefully over her shoulder. "I have your clothes and blanket."

 

Jeremy’s head snapped up and Jenna knew that he was present at the moment. There was a look of understanding passing though his features and Jenna was infinitely grateful that Jeremy was a genius normally. It made things a little easier when he was running on under quarter power. “How about you two go clean yourselves up for today and you can get into your comfy stuff?” she suggested. Jeremy blinked slowly, then he started ushering Michael towards the bathroom, taking the clothes with him. Jenna waited outside the door, as usual. She spread the blanket onto the bed while she waited, thumbing the soft material fondly.

  
Jenna felt her heart stutter when they got out. Michael’s was in his hoodie, although that’s all they had brought. It was better to keep him in clothes they could easily clean since he was so helpless. Jeremy was back in his full outfit, with the exception of his jeans being joggers instead. Still, Jenna couldn’t take her eyes off of Michael. He looked almost back to normal.

 

Jenna felt her heart melt when she saw Michael staring at the patches, idly fiddling with them with his free hand, as Jeremy was holding the other. His head was resting against Jeremy's shoulder, and there seemed to be fondness in his eyes as he was fiddling with one specific one: a tattered music note, a simple one she had made him to go along with his hoodie when she found out his moms were getting it for his birthday.  
  


Jeremy led Micheal back over to the bed, and Michael was smiling dreamily up at him, still fiddling with the patch. For a second, while Jeremy tried to figure out where the blanket had come from, Michael looked around. For the briefest of moment, his darting eyes seemed to lock onto Jenna, and with the small smile on his face Jenna could almost pretend that he was back to normal. Then Jeremy lifted the blanket enough for Michael to get in, and the moment broke.

  
When Michael noticed the blanket however, Jenna couldn’t help but giggle a little. He grabbed at it, fiddling with the edge while he squirmed happily. Then, as soon as Jeremy was in the bed, Michael tugged lightly at it, obviously wanting to put it on both of them. He whined pathetically when he couldn’t, almost pouting up at Jeremy.

 

Jeremy seemed to notice what he was trying to do, and just smiled fondly down at him as he lifted the blanket over both of them before pulling Michael close to him. "Is that better, Micah?" Michael's response was just to nestle close to him, and Jenna couldn't help but feel a bit more hopeful.

 

 

 

About two weeks since the SQUIP was defeated, Noel decided to see her son properly for the first time. She had been... hesitant due to his fragile state and the memories her face would be linked with but, as she told Jenna, she couldn’t hold off any longer.

  
She had entered the room hesitantly, unsure if she should. There was a good reason to be hesitant. Michael was more present today and he was looking around a little when the two women walked in. Noel had made it close to the usual visitor spot, the chair by the wardrobe when Michael noticed her movement. His eyes locked on Noel’s face and he _screamed_. Instantly, Jeremy had wrapped himself around Michael’s body, who was whimpering and almost sobbing in fear. Jenna all but sprinted over to Noel, seeing her heartbroken expression and tears running down her own face.

  
Jeremy was glaring at her. Then he frowned, his brow furrowing in thought. He started gently cooing to Michael, holding out one of his hands in Jenna’s direction. He sort of motioned for her to come close. When Jenna took the step, Jeremy shook his head. Hesitantly, Noel took a step towards them. Then another. Then she took Jeremy’s hand.  
  


Jeremy gently squeezed her hand as he was cooing to Michael, eventually getting him to calm down enough to no longer be whimpering and sobbing. He was still hiccuping somewhat, but he was definitely better. Noel stood where she was, and Jenna watched in case anything went awry.

  
After some coaxing from Jeremy, Michael managed to slowly reach his hand out, and Jeremy gently put Noel's hand into his. The flinch Michael had in response hurt not just Noel, but Jenna too. He seemed to relax, though, as Jeremy gently ran his fingers through Michael's hair, encouraging him and whispering things neither woman could hear before he rested his hand on top of theirs, patting it.

  
Michael seemed to calm down enough and be comfortable enough to gently squeeze Noel's hand, which was nearly a complete one-eighty from just a few minutes ago. He just held her hand for a few seconds before letting go, and Jeremy gently took Michael's hand back before taking Noel's hand again, squeezing softly before letting go and focusing his attention back on Michael, making sure he was calm and relaxed, though he didn't seem to be as present as he had been when they first entered the room.

 

Jenna was shocked. That was the first time Jeremy had actively interacted with anyone other than Michael or Jenna, and certainly the first time he had gotten _Michael_ to interact. It seemed like even in his barely aware state, Jeremy could tell that both Noel _and_ Michael needed that. Which meant he recognized Noel to begin with.

 

Jenna lightly tugged Noel out of the room from her place frozen next to the bed. She smiled and offered her a hug as soon as they were out of the door. Noel clung to her, sobbing both from heartbreak and joy at the same time. Luckily, Jenna had been giving a lot of hugs recently so she knew just how to help.  
  


 

  
Jenna wasn’t sure about this girl, Sofia, when she had approached the group about three weeks after the SQUIP’s defeat. Still, she was willing to give her a chance. Sofia claimed that she was a blue soul, though nowhere near as strong as Jeremy was, and that she might be able to help at least a little. When she said she had seen Chrissy and Brooke’s mixed souls, Jenna was more inclined to believe her. Which is how they found themselves standing outside the room, Jenna’s hand hovering by the handle.

  
“You cause any trouble, you’re out, got it?” she growled halfheartedly. She really didn’t think Sofia would, but the warning had to he made. Sofia nodded, watching the door carefully. Jenna let them in.

 

Jeremy sat upright as soon as Sofia stepped in the room. “Blue,” he murmured, curling up against Michael, less protectively and more from almost fear. He seemed scared.

 

“Yes, I’m blue, just like you Bluejay. I want to help. I want to share a little with you, please. Let me share my blue with you? Then you can help your Micah,” Sofia murmured, kneeling down near the bed, just within arm reach. She held out her hand, palm up, for Jeremy to take if he wanted to.

 

Jeremy's fearful eyes seemed to stare down at her hand, unsure and frightened. He eventually looked up, registered that Jenna was there, and seemed to ask her what this all meant nonverbally. "You're blue, but she's blue too. She just wants to help, like I've helped you, and like Noel's helped you." Michael seemed to react, if only a little, to the name, shifting his head a little in Jenna's direction, but otherwise nothing. "She just wants to help you help Michael."

  
He seemed to think all over this over, staring back at the hand held out to him, before he reached over and took it. They only held hands for a few moments, but Jeremy looked more present than he had during their three weeks there. He took in the entire room, the whole situation, and stared at Jenna with wide eyes. "What..."

  
"How are you feeling?" Jenna asked, giving him a smile because Jeremy could see her right away, recognize her, and it felt so good, even if she knew it was bittersweet since he'd be back to his 'normal' state soon.

  
"I..." Jeremy looked down at Michael, and tears started to gather in his eyes as he held Michael closer, pressing plentiful kisses to the top of his head. "The SQUIP, he's gone, he's not in you anymore. You're still here, faintly, but you're _here_ , Micah."

 

Michael made a slightly concerned sound upon seeing Jeremy’s tears, clumsily raising his hand to try and wipe them away. He seemed a little more present too, gaining strength from their connection. Jeremy chuckled wetly and pressed a small kiss to Michael’s wrist. “It’s okay, Micah. I’m okay. I’m just a little overwhelmed.” Jeremy turned to Sofia. “Thank you. I... needed this moment of clarity. It’s all been a little fuzzy since I got Michael back.”

 

Sofia grinned, looking pleased with herself. “It’s my pleasure Bluejay. You’ve done so much for all of us, it’s the least I can do...” She trailed off, looking a little crestfallen. “I just wish I could do more. This won’t last long, I don’t think. Your soul is so much brighter than mine.”

 

Jeremy reached over and affectionate patted her on the head. “It’s more than I could have hoped for. Thank you.” He looked up at Jenna. “Is everyone okay? Is everyone holding out? Are _you_ okay?” Jenna felt herself choke up a little, then she chuckled a little when she saw Michael watching Sofia with curious, but vacant eyes, reaching out to try to pat her head too.

 

"Everyone's holding out right now as best we can, at least in terms of you two. I'll explain how, but the situation's getting better outside from what I know. Knowing you guys are gonna be fine is keeping me going, I promise you that," Jenna reassured, though tried to contain her laughter as Michael seemed to finally pat Sofia's head once she leaned in so he actually could. "I'm just glad you have this moment of clarity, Jeremy."

  
Jeremy nodded, pressing a kiss to Michael's temple that had the other humming happily in response. "Yeah, I am too... I hope I haven't been too difficult."

  
"I mean, you're always a little shit, white boy, but it's nothing I can't handle." Jeremy's laugh, a real one, made Jenna's heart soar.

 

As the laughter died away, a bittersweet smile returned to Jeremy’s face. “It’s starting to wear off, I can feel it...” He shook his head sadly. “Dad’s working hard I’m guessing? Trying to find a cure for me and Michael? Get someone to make sure the he and Mom actually sleep at some point, otherwise he’ll be dead on his feet by the time I’m properly back...”

 

Jeremy pressed another kiss to Michael’s temple, then looked at Sofia. “Thank you. This means a lot to me. And when I’m better, I’d really like to meet you properly. I’m pretty sure Michael would as well.” Finally he looked up at Jenna and held out his one free arm. “Quick hug, Jen, before I’m too far gone. You look like you could use someone hugging _you_ for once.” He chuckled, shooting her a watery grin.

 

Jenna didn't even realize she was crying until then, but ignored it as she hurried over, letting Jeremy hug her for once. She only started audibly crying when she felt Michael's hand resting on her back and he let out a soft, "Don't cry, Jen."

  
Somehow, she managed to get out of the hug, wiping away her tears roughly with the palm of her hand. "I swear, y'two are gonna be the death of me..."

 

Jeremy curled himself closer to Michael again, blinking rapidly as the fuzziness he had been living in started to descend into his eyes. “We love you, Jenna. Sort of our job to be little shits,” he chuckled sleepily, nuzzling against Michael. Michael leaned back into the touch, the familiar dazed grin making its way onto his face.

  
They were fading. Jenna didn’t think she could watch. “C’mon, Sofia. I’m pretty sure Jason is gonna wanna thank you for this. Let’s leave these two saps for now.” She offered her hand to Sofia, who took it, shooting the two boys a sad smile as she left the room.

  
When Jenna came to bring them dinner that night, Jeremy nudged her hand on purpose, a small but confused smile on his face.

 

 

 

Nearing a month of enduring all of this, Jenna wanted to see Jeremy and Michael badly once she found out that the antidote for Michael was almost done. Even if Jeremy wasn't in his right state of mind, he would still enjoy this good news since he knew she was helping Michael.

  
As she turned a corner to head up the few flights of stairs to their room, she bumped into a curly-haired woman that didn't even apologize or anything. Jenna muttered out an apology of her own, even if she didn't want to, before trying to get around her. Unfortunately, she couldn't, as the lady kept getting in her way. "Uh, can I help you?"

  
"I want to know where my son is. No one is telling me where he is, after he's been missing for over a year, and suddenly saves everyone as this 'Bluejay!'" Oh no.

  
Jeremy's mom, who, from what she knew from Michael, was basically a horrible woman who had abused Jeremy more than he could admit. She had to grip her knuckles behind her back as she looked up at the older woman, giving as polite of a smile as she could. "I'm sorry, but he's not really in a state to see anyone right now. Maybe later, when he's be-"

  
"Are you _serious_? I am his _mother_! I gave birth to him, and you are _denying_ me the right to _see my son_?" The older woman got right into Jenna's face, and Jenna knew that, if given the chance, she'd kick her to the curb, but held back for now. "I was _told_ he was here somewhere, and I think, as a grieving mother who hasn't seen her son in _over a year_ , that I deserve to see him and help him!"

 

Jenna knew she had to be polite. She had to keep her head or else this woman would bite it off. So she threw on the most plastic, most friendly grin possible and reached for her tablet. “Of course, ma’am. Let me just alert the right people that you’re here.” She sent a message up to Mr. Heere. She needed back-up but she really couldn’t stall for time right now. Mrs. Heere huffed angrily but waited, apparently satisfied for now.

 

**  
Reluctantly, Jenna lead her to Jeremy’s room. “I must warn you, Mrs. Heere, that Jeremy isn’t in the best state right now. He’s likely asleep with his fiancé, Michael. They’re both still recovering from the ordeal a month ago.” Mrs. Heere mumbled something about how Jeremy couldn’t be engaged, not to a man. She felt her blood boil. Jenna prayed they actually were asleep, she didn’t want them to have to deal with this horrible human being. She opened the door and was dismayed to see Jeremy leaning against the headboard with Michael curled up on his shoulder.

  
The moment Michael’s eyes landed on Mrs. Heere, though, he started screaming. It was similar to how he had screamed at Noel but worse somehow. It startled Jeremy out of Michael’s scream, and started trying desperately to calm him down. He didn’t even look to see who had come in he was too focused on calming Michael and helping him hide under the fluffy blanket. Jenna could hear his sobs, muffled by the thick fabric.

 

"Oh, _that's_ who he's with? _Him_ out of all people? I would never want my son with such a broken person, let alone a broken _man_ ," Mrs. Heere muttered out, and Jenna wasn't sure exactly what she meant by that, but she was just glad that the woman couldn't see her send out more messages, to Michael's moms, to help her out here.

**

  
"Jeremy, honey, I've missed you so much!" the woman practically cried out as she walked over, ignorant to the damage she had done and was continuing to create and forcing all of the attention onto herself somehow. "After you went missing, I was so scared. I'm so glad you're alive and well, and now we can be back together."

 

Mrs. Heere placed a hand on Jeremy’s shoulder. The moment she made contact, it was smacked off with a harsh crack of skin on skin. She pulled her hand away, up to her chest, expression aghast. Jeremy turned slowly, his entire body twitching, and Jenna suddenly felt a pit of dread in her stomach, like somehow all her worst fears were coming true. ‘ _He’s projecting_ …,’ she realised as she saw Jeremy’s eyes blazing with anger, more focused than she had seen them in the whole month, including the few minutes with Sofia.

 

***  
“You did this to him...” he hissed, and Mrs. Heere took a step back. “You did this you didthisyoudidthis!” Jeremy climbed out of the bed, voice raising in power and intensity. “You disgusting excuse for a human being. I saw you do this to him! You took him from me! You b _roke_ my fiancé for that fucking demon! You’re _worse_ than he was.” Jeremy had been slowly advancing on Mrs. Heere, who could only back away in shock. “You beat me, belittled me and assisted in my _fucking_ torture. But _none_ of that compares to what you did to my Michael. I killed the SQUIP because he took him from me and from so many others. That’s too good for you, you fucking piece of shit. If I ever see you again, I promise you that breaking your mind is fair game and your life means _nothing_. Stay the hell out of my life and stay away from my husband!” Jeremy slapped her, _hard_.

***

  
Mrs. Heere fell over backwards from fear and from the impact, but she quickly scrambled to her feet, scurrying out the door. Jenna knew she would be waiting just outside, she didn’t know the way out.

  
Jeremy was standing where he had finished, shivering with anger. His eyes lost all clarity and he stumbled back over to the bed, clinging to the still sobbing Michael. Jenna knew that Jeremy was giving him more energy to calm him down, but in the state he was in, he couldn’t give much. Looking at them, Jenna decided that she could leave for just a moment to give that bitch a piece of her mind. Jeremy seemed stable enough for now.

 

She popped out of the room for but a minute, ready to go once this _bitch_ did. And there she was, standing to the side with a red face (from more than just the slap, that was for sure), and she looked ready to give Jenna some piece of her mind to feel better about what just happened to her, but Jenna wasn't going to let her get one last hoorah.

  
"If you don't want to be escorted out and known by _everyone_ what you've done to Bluejay and Red Robin, I suggest you take those stairs to the left and _never_ come back, understand? Bluejay doesn't take too kindly to those who hurt people he cares for, if what he did to the SQUIP wasn't evidence enough for you." With a little 'goodbye' wave, he saw the woman bolt to the stairs, and Jenna quickly sent out one more message to the three parents, telling them about Mrs. Heere's departure and that Jeremy wasn't going to be in the best health, before hurrying back in.

 

Michael was out of the blanket at least, by the time Jenna got back, but Jeremy was looking terrible. His skin was ashen and his eyes dull, and Jenna could tell he was giving more energy. Michael was still hiccuping with the occasional sob. Jeremy blinked, suddenly sitting up ramrod straight. He swayed for a moment, eyes fluttering, before he collapsed in a heap, flat on his back, eyes shut and breathing shallow. The blue and black mark on Michael’s arm started to flicker.

 

As soon as Jeremy collapsed, Michael started to panic. All of the energy Jeremy gave him was enough for him to be present and coherent to Jeremy, and it showed as he leaned over and gently shook him. "Jerm'y? Jer'my, wake up!" The tears that were almost gone started to flow again, which Jenna knew wasn't good either since he was probably getting too dehydrated just from the first round of crying. "Please, wake up! Jeremy!" He even managed to look over and see Jenna, recognize her, and he nonverbally grabbed for her since he was overcome with tears and crying.

  
Jenna went over in an instant, taking out something Jeremy had given to her before they went into battle: a crystal charged with a spell and his own energy to restore him. He told her to only use it on him if his soul was flickering out and he needed energy, especially since they both knew he planned on using a lot of energy during the final battle. Well, now was the perfect time.

  
Muttering out the spell, she released Jeremy's energy and allowed it to flow back into him. As it happened, she saw the mark on Michael's arm steady, flickering a few times before the steady light was present again.

 

Jeremy took a great, heaving gasp of air as his eyes shot open. The next couple of breaths were shuddery but regular and Jenna knew that Jeremy was as okay as he had been before. “Micah? What’s wrong sweetheart?” Jeremy mumbled, his words slightly slurred as the energy realigned itself within him. He would be weaker for a while but stable.  
  


Michael, seemingly overcome with so many things, just clung onto Jeremy as he continued to cry. He seemed to manage enough strength to shift and hold onto him, pulling him close and keeping him there, moving himself on his own more than Jenna had seen him do the past month. "Y'wouldn't wake up! Y'wouldn't, an' I was _so_ scared!"

  
As he was starting to devolve into hiccuping, no more tears left to cry, Mr. Heere, Michael's moms, and Mr. Reyes, who seemed to be getting closer to Jeremy's dad through the few times she saw them together, entered the room.

 

Jeremy weakly hugged Michael back, running fingers through his hair soothingly. Jenna noticed that he didn’t try to send energy this time, maybe he had realized that was what caused Michael’s freak out? Either way, she was gladder for it. A minute passed and Michael’s sobs died off. Jeremy’s grin was sleepy but happy. “You’re okay now, Micah. I’m okay too, promise. We’re okay,” he murmured.

 

Jeremy blinked a few times, before finally catching sight of all the people in the room. He tried to pull Michael tighter against him, even as his arms were shaking from the effort. He shot Jenna a helpless, confused glance, before refocusing on the ‘threat’.

 

Jenna gave as reassuring of a smile as possible to him before looking to the adults and explaining what happened. They seemed to understand rather quickly, Mr. Heere letting out a sigh of relief before reaching into his pocket to take out something. "I'm sorry I took so long to get here, I would've stopped her but I was finishing the antidote up for Michael." He took the syringe out, which everyone in the room was uncomfortable with (really, who wouldn't be after everything that happened?). "I don't think anyone else can do this but you, Jenna..."

 

Jeremy finally spotted the syringe, and he pulled Michael even closer to him, but he was obviously processing what had been said. “Antidote?” Jeremy seemed to be almost testing out the word, as though trying to remember what it meant. “It’ll get rid of the green? Make him happy and red again?” he guessed, looking back to Jenna. She could see the flicker of _something_ in his eyes and could tell he was really trying hard to be there, to listen and help.

 

Jenna just nodded with a reassuring smile again. "It'll make him better, the green will be gone and there will only be red and some of your blue," he informed him. "I just need you to make sure he's OK and stays still and as calm as possible."

 

Jeremy’s eye seemed to harden, solidifying his presence. He’d do anything for Michael, especially as he was now. He nodded, moving Michael so the nape of his neck was exposed. He started murmuring sweet nothings into Michael’s ear, soothing him in every way possible. He subtly nodded to Jenna, even as his hand passed over Michael’s nape and brushed away the hair there. Michael melted bonelessly against Jeremy, as he always did at the moment.

 

Jenna silently made her way over, remembering the few things she had seen and knew about injections. She tiptoed over, eventually getting herself in position. The needle was right there, and Jenna quickly apologized to Michael before injecting him with the antidote.

  
He screamed at first, suddenly tensing and fighting, even with Jeremy's reassurance and hold, but eventually stilled, soft whimpers escaping him as Jenna saw him start to fall asleep. "It hurts, Jere, s'much..."

 

Jeremy was crying, eyes drooping as well. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me, Micah. It’s supposed to help. I’m sorry...” Jeremy’s pained ramblings trailed off as he lost consciousness. Apparently, Michael and Jeremy were even more linked than before. Michael let out another, quiet whimper before he too fell limp in the bed. They were asleep.

 

Only time would tell if it worked.


	20. A New Era

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys, honestly, for joining us on this journey. This has been a wild ride. All of your comments and support during this has meant the world to Mara and I. We can't believe it's already ending, though on a good note, I promise!  
> We've got another story done, and we're working on writing another at the moment. I don't know if we'll take a little break before posting the next one, but we'll probably continue the daily upload trend (?) since all the chapters are done for this done as well. One clue about it: it's a pirate!AU! Woo!  
> Here is our final words from Mara for this fic (god, this is really emotional, eugh):
> 
> 'It’s been a wild ride, guys, but we’ve made it out the other side. Thank you all so much for sticking with us throughout this emotional journey. Your comments and support mean the world to both of us, even when it’s just to yell at us for causing you pain.   
> I hope you enjoy the ending of this au and look forwards to the next one with us.  
> Love you guys so much! And I love Ari even more for being my creative other half! <3'

Michael felt himself stir, starting to wake up after what felt like being out for an eternity. The last thing he really remembered was being taken from Jeremy, and now…

  
Well, he couldn't see where he was, everything blurred and off. Oh, his glasses. He tried to blindly reach around, trying to move, but felt something, _someone_ holding him close and tight. Squinting, Michael looked to see what or who held him, confusion bustling around in his brain. The familiar curls, identifiable even through the slight blur, had him gasp. "Jere..."

  
Before anything else could happen, he heard a door open. Looking over, he saw who he recognized as the frame of Mr. Heere through the sea of greys, which made his skin crawl and his stomach churn for some reason (the color, not the father figure of his life, of course). "Michael? Are you awake?"

  
"Mm? Yeah, I am. What happened, where am I? Why is there no color? The last thing I remember is being taken in, and..." He slowly stopped as the man walked over, a warm smile evident now that his features were clearer.

  
"It's great to finally have you back, son."

 

Mr. Heere gasped suddenly and fumbled with something off to one side. “You probably can’t see a thing! Here, let me get you your glasses.” Yup, same old Mr. Heere.

 

Still, Michael gratefully put on his glasses as soon as they were in reach. “Where are we? Why is everything... grey?” Michael asked with a shiver. Why was the color making him so uncomfortable?

 

Mr. Here paused, apparently trying to figure out what to say. “Well, Michael, we’re in the Processor. In your room to be specific. Jeremy brought you here after everything went down.” He took a breath, grabbing some tools and charts and kneeling down. He started on a basic check up, with Michael helping as much as he could without waking Jeremy.

 

“How much do you actually remember? Because it’s been a month and a half since you were taken, and while the mind will suppress as much as it can when dealing with trauma, it can’t suppress everything. You’re going to need to know most of what’s gone on before we can let you leave this room. There have been too many changes and you’ll be asked too many questions for you to stay ignorant.”

 

Michael tried to stay calm with the news that he apparently had been gone for so long, and that he was somehow in the Processor, and the SQUIP seemed to not be around? To say he was confused was the understatement of the century. "I... The last thing I remember is being taken here after giving myself up to save Jeremy, to keep him from being taken," he answered, voice soft as he tried to keep it from shaking. What had changed since he had been taken? Why didn't he remember the past month and a half? What was his mind suppressing?

 

Mr. Heere sighed heavily. There was a level of fondness and exasperation to it, and a whole lot of pride. “Well, that single choice was enough to save us all. Turns out Jeremy is beyond stubborn when it comes to you, and has the power to match.” Mr. Heere quickly checked his eyes, before putting a pressure cuff on his arm. “He defied every expectation and came and saved you, killing the SQUIP in the process. That was over a two week period, from when you were first taken. The last month has had you both recovering, but I don’t know what sort of state he’ll be in now.” Mr. Heere glanced down at Jeremy, who was still sleeping peacefully. “Neither of you have been in the best shape.”

 

Wait... Jeremy had done all of that? And in two _weeks_? Michael stared in awe down at his fiance as he clung to him, unable to help but smile down at him before sneaking a quick kiss to the top of his head. "I mean, if I was out for the count for a month, I don't think I would have been in the best shape," Michael tried to joke, though wasn't sure how it fell, still concerned about Jeremy but in awe because how _the fuck was Jeremy able to do all of that in the span of two fucking weeks_?

 

Putting away his tools at last, Mr. Heere sighed again. “Physically, you’re covered in scars. I’m not going to go into how or why, I’ll leave that up to Jeremy, who knows a hell of a lot more than I do. They’ll heal. And they’ll fade. Just like Jeremy’s have. The most you’ll have to deal with for now is some muscular atrophy. You’ve been basically chair bound for over a month. And it seems like besides covering your trauma, you should be fine. I’m not seeing any lingering effects on your end. Jeremy’s though...” Mr. Heere gestured towards Michael’s left arm, checking over the mark which Mr. Heere had _never seen before_. “As I thought. He still hasn’t recovered yet. I... I can’t help him. He won’t let anyone else near either of you, except Jenna. It’s gonna have to be you. You’ve brought him back from worse.” Mr. Heere stood and picked up his bag.

 

More questions came from the answers Michael got, but he knew that it didn't matter, at least not right now. Looking between Mr. Heere and Jeremy, he let out a sigh before pressing another kiss to the top of Jeremy's head. "I... I don't know what happened, but I'll bring him out of whatever he's in. Is there anything I should know before I try?"

 

He nodded, looking uncomfortable. “Jeremy has been feeding you almost all his energy for the last month, keeping your soul alive until we could fix the problem. That itself wouldn’t be too bad but...I... He... His soul is cracked. Badly,” Mr. Heere said finally. “The emotional pain of losing you, as well as everything else that happened meant that it got badly damaged. None was lost, thank god, but he’ll need a lot of reassurance for a while.” He shook his head. “Also, some demonic residue has been stuck in the cracks and we can’t get it out, it was too interlinked with what you two went through... but you’ll know how to remove it, even if you don’t actually realize it. He’s your soulmate, your soul naturally wants to help his.” The small smile at the end wasn’t too reassuring, even if it was supposed to be.

 

"Alright, I'll do what I can. Thanks Mr. Heere." With that, the older man gave a little salute and left, leaving the two alone.

  
With a sigh, Michael looked down and studied Jeremy as best he could. Had he really missed so much? It seemed so, and he just decided he waited long enough to help Jeremy. He gently shook him, a hand on his shoulder as he started to speak. "Jeremy... Jere, wake up." A kiss was placed onto Jeremy's nose before he rested his forehead against the other's. "I wanna see you and your lovely self awake."

 

Jeremy’s eyes fluttered open and he groaned lightly, blinking slowly. “You’re chatty, Micah. Don’t worry, I’ll give you a boost in a minute, just let me wake up... wait.” Any softness from sleep vanished in an instant as Jeremy sat up. “Why are you sitting up like that? I haven’t been given you your boost. Oh Micah you’re gonna drain yourself again. Come here, I’ll boost you then you can do whatever you like.” Looking him over, Michael noticed the dazed look in his eye and he heard the slight slur to his words. Jeremy barely looked like he was actually present in reality even as he fussed over Michael.

 

Michael gently cupped Jeremy's cheeks then, gently shushing Jeremy as he rested his forehead against Jeremy's again. "I'm not gonna get drained, I'm fine. No boost needed." He gently squished his cheeks to try to get him to at least _somewhat_ focus himself in again, to not go through this obvious routine when it wouldn't help anyone. "My energy's back to what it was before, Jere."

 

Jeremy blinked owlishly, as his eyes focused a little. There he was, just a little of him. “Micah? But how... I didn’t help you yet. I gotta take care of you, I gotta-“ He cut himself off, trying to digest the information. “You’re not gonna leave if you don’t need me now, are you?” He sounded so small when he said that, but another small chunk of Jeremy slid back into view behind his eyes.

 

"I'm _always_ going to need you Jere, just not to give me energy or anything. I love you too much to leave you," Michael reassured him before pressing a kiss to the bridge of his nose. "I need you to do one thing for me though, please, because you're not feeling good and I want you to feel better like I am, OK?"

 

Jeremy nodded immediately. “Anything, Micah. Whatever you want.” The reverent tone was only a little worrying, but considering how codependent they seemed to have been, it wasn’t too surprising.

 

"I need you to show me that you're alright, that you're back to how you were and don't need to be so dependent on me. I want you to be healthy again. Please, come back to reality and show me that you're OK." Michael kissed him softly, letting it linger for a moment before pulling back. " _Please_."

 

Jeremy froze, a thousand different emotions running across his face. Eventually, they seemed to settle on a watery, but bright grin. Tears pricked at the corners of Jeremy’s eyes as he really seemed to actually see Michael properly. “Micah? You.. You’re alright. You’re alright...” Shakily, he reached up and cupped Michael’s cheeks in return. “We did it, we did it and you came back to me...” He sighed, pressing a quick kiss on Michael’s lips. His voice shook slightly, and he couldn’t seem to do more than sort of whisper, but it sounded real and _present_. It sounded like Jeremy should sound, just sort of tired.

 

"And you're alright too. I've apparently missed a lot, and I'm gonna be needing a lot of apparent therapy, but I'm alright with that as long as I'm back with you." Michael pressed another soft kiss to Jeremy's lips, letting it linger for a bit before he just held Jeremy close.

 

 

 

“You did what?!” Michael screeched, eyes wide.

 

Jeremy shrugged, his smile sheepish. “I raised an army for you? Because I wasn’t gonna let you stay stuck. I just... didn’t care enough about my anxiety to be scared. I was too focused on saving you.” He grinned, oozing a new sort of confidence that Michael really liked.

  
He tried to control his squirming from discomfort, still wanting to listen to what Jeremy was telling him. Of course, Jeremy knew already, as usual. “What’s got you so uncomfortable, Micah? You look so pale right now.”

 

Michael glanced, looking down at his lap. They were moving around- well, _Jeremy_ was moving around, rolling him in the wheelchair he was bound to for a while longer since all that stuff Mr. Heere told him about hadn't been fixed yet. While Michael enjoyed not being cooped up in the same room, the scenery of the Processor (he was told it was going to be redesigned into something else soon) just made him so uncomfortable. His stomach was churning, and he couldn't relax at all, and it was all because of the grey color of the place but he didn't understand _why it made him like this_.

  
"I... I don't know why grey makes me feel so terrible, but it does," was all he said as he quickly shut his eyes, a nauseated feeling hitting him hard as he admitted that.

 

Jeremy paused for a second, thinking. Then he gasped in understanding. “This is the same shade that _they_ wore... no wonder it’s causing so many problems!” Jermey knelt down, slipping his cardigan over Michael and his own head so they were engulfed in blue instead. “Hey, it’s okay. You might not remember it properly but the memory does still exist in your head. Things are allowed to make you feel bad. Just... wait here, I’ll be back in a sec, okay?” Jeremy kissed the tip of Michael’s nose and left him in the warm embrace of blue.

 

Jeremy was audible again long before he Michael could have panicked. Too long without the other made them both panic. Michael listened to what Jeremy was up to.

 

For a couple of minutes, there was a sort of wet sound followed by plenty of giggles. “Hey, Micah. You can look now, I’ve got a surprise for you.”

 

Michael let out a sigh as he took off the cardigan. What he was met with made him gasp and drop the fabric into his lap.

  
He was met with the walls covered in paint splatters, dripping down and creating an explosion of color. It was the most color Michael had seen since he woke up here, and he couldn't help but feel a bit (wonderfully) overwhelmed. He couldn't help but tear up as he smiled, laughing as he felt that pain and tension from earlier slip away for the most part. Some of it was still there, with the hints of grey, but it was nothing compared to before.

  
"Oh my _god_ , Jeremy..."

 

Jeremy knelt down next to Michael again, looking up at him with those big, blue eyes. Even with the newfound maturity Jeremy somehow possessed (Michael was still a little in shock), he looked like a proud kid showing off an art project. “Is it alright? Does it help? Cause I gotta say, the grey wasn’t doing me any favors but I was more focused on looking after you. I’m finding it nicer, but does it help you?”

 

Michael couldn’t help but laugh a little at how proud Jeremy looked as he nodded. “Yeah, it’s great Jeremy, I feel a lot better now. It’s also so many colors, it reminds me of one huge, _super gay_ rainbow.”

 

Jeremy laughed right along with Michael, grinning happily doing before leaning, trying to stifle his giggles. “There’s a reason for that…” he chuckled before dropping his voice to a stage whisper. “I’m super gay. For you.”

 

He pressed a quick kiss to Michael’s cheek before standing up, still giggling. “This place is gonna be converted into a research and development lab, once it’s been cleansed of all the SQUIP energies, so I don’t know if we can keep the colors after we leave. For now though, enjoy the rainbow!” Jeremy started pushing Michael over to the table. Time for lunch.

  


 

When he was _finally_ able to walk on his own (it took longer than they expected, and he still needed a little help for now, but he’d be able to walk on his own soon), Michael finally headed home with Jeremy. The journey took a bit longer, and they took some breaks so Michael could take a breather and rest his legs, but they didn’t really mind. They were back in the village by the evening, after having started their journey in the late morning, and Michael was practically beaming at the overwhelming familiarity and the fact he was finally home. “I didn’t realize how much I missed this place until now...”  


Jeremy pressed a kiss to Michael’s temple, a bright grin on his own face. “Same here.” Jeremy nuzzled lightly against Michael before leading him towards the stairs.

 

He froze about half way up, looking confused. “Hey, Michael? Are you seeing that? Someone is building on the tree we picked out for our place...” Michael looked up and sure enough, the tree on the far side of the village seemed to be covered in temporary scaffolding.

 

Jeremy sighed heavily, and started back up the stairs. He turned and arched an eyebrow at Michael, and attempted a cheeky smile, but it came out a little melancholy. “Wanna check it out before we head home?”

 

“Yeah, I wanna know who took our spot, especially since we told the council and sort of reserved it,” Michael told him, pressing a kiss to Jeremy’s cheek before walking with him, leaning a little on him as they traversed.

  
Once they made it over, Michael was surprised to see Chloe (he had met her properly a few times during his chair-bound recovery) standing nearby, as she seemed to be looking over housing plans. “Chloe?”

  
The girl’s head popped up and practically whipped around to face them, a wide grin on her face. “Hey, you lovebirds. I sorta wanted this to be a surprise, but I guess not since you were curious and came over.”

  
Michael’s brows furrowed as he looked over the half-finished home. “Surprise?”

 

“You should know I can’t control my curiosity, never been able to, never will,” Jeremy chuckled. Then, something clicked and his eyes went wide. ”Wait, you’re building us a house?” he asked incredulously, bouncing a little in excitement.

 

Chloe nodded, her pride blinding. “Is it one of your own designs? Because those are awesome! Oh, thank you Chloe!” Jeremy launched himself at her, wrapping her in a big hug. She cackled at his reaction, hugging him back.

 

“I mean, it’s the _least_ I can do for you two. I wanted to get it done before you two got back, but you can’t make a quality house lined with silver in every room in two months, unfortunately.”

  
Michael didn’t even know Chloe that well, but she was doing all of this for them. He couldn’t help but smile and go over, hugging her too as he laughed. “Thank you so much, really.”

  
Chloe just sighed and patted his back as she made sure to include Michael in the hug. “I already said I wanted to repay you two dorks somehow. I don’t want anything to be spoiled though, so you two gotta shoo off... Well, I’ll let you know this: you’re gonna get your own little nooks for your book reading and tech tinkering respectively, so you’re welcome.”

  
She pushed them both away with a chuckle, clearing her throat to try and seem a little more mature. “Now shoo. You need some rest and Noel and Lynn were cooking dinner last I heard.” Jeremy shot her one last grin before dragging Micheal off, back home, babbling happily as they walked.

  
Soon enough, they got to the house. A delicious smell wafted out from the open window, and Michael could hear Mom and Mama inside, chattering happily. When they got to the kitchen, Mama was wrapped around Mom’s back as she stirred the fried rice. She was pouting.

  
“But Lynn, it smells so good! How can you expect me to not be as close as possible?”

 

Mama nuzzled again the back of Mom’s neck, pressing a kiss there and earning a light smack. “Patience, you. The boys will be back soon enough, then we can eat.” They were giggling and Michael’s heart stuttered. He hadn’t seen a moment like this in years.

 

He almost started to cry at seeing this, so many good memories flooding him at seeing this. Michael kept his hand on Jeremy, the one for support, and the other covered his mouth. He was sure he was tearing up, but it was just a bit much (in a good way, of course).

 

Jeremy bumped his shoulder affectionately. “They’re almost as bad as we are, aren’t they?” he teased, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Jeremy knew exactly how this was affecting him and the bond was flaring up with joy and love. “C’mon. Time to eat, then we can finally get some sleep in our own bed.” He pulled Michael towards the table. “Mom! Mama! We’re home! Dad said he’ll be staying with Mr. Reyes tonight so we don’t need to serve for him,” Jeremy called happily.

  


 

Michael always enjoyed waking up to Jeremy, and that didn’t change when they got their new house. It was small and cozy, and he loved it so much. Still, it didn’t mean he was much of a morning person, so he woke up with a grumble as he rubbed at his eyes, essentially trying to wake himself up a bit more. They had plans to go out and have a nice day-out, picnic included, so Michael had to force himself up.

  
He sat up in bed, yawning as he quickly rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. “Mm, Jere, ‘m gonna go and get the basket ready and then come back up t’get changed, alright?”

 

Gentle hands pulled him back down slowly, and Michael felt a rush of warmth burst through him, making focusing hard. “S’okay, Micah. I got you. We can just relax, nothing to worry about.” Something in Jeremy’s tone was off but the warmth in his chest and the fuzziness in his head made it hard to figure out what. Jeremy started playing with his hair, cooing over him softly.

 

Looking up at him from where he was pressed against Jeremy’s chest, Michael could just about make out the vacant, dazed look in Jeremy’s eyes which he hadn’t see in months. The mark on his arm tingled as small lines of black spread out like a spider web across it.  
  


Michael glanced down to see it, and softly cursed as he realized Jeremy was having a relapse. He had his own kind because of what he went through those two weeks, but they hadn’t had one from that month after yet.

  
“Jeremy, no, we’re fine,” Michael tried to tell him as he made the effort to try to get up again. “Please, I just need to get up, OK? I’ll be back down in a minute.” He wanted to try to contact someone, preferably Jenna, because he didn’t really remember any of the month, only hearing stories from her and some others about it... but it was hard with how he was being held and how nice this all felt to get up…

 

Jeremy’s arms around him held firm, and he nuzzled lightly against the top of Michael’s head. “S’right. We’re fine. Gonna look after you, so it’s okay. Don’t want you getting hurt again,” he mumbled, still playing with Michael’s hair, still sending gentle pulses of energy. It... couldn’t be too bad to just enjoy this for a minute... right? Michael just needed to wake up a little more or he’d be no use to anyone. He could just stay in bed and relax with Jeremy for a minute longer, then he could go and get Jenna. She said she’d help them after all. Jeremy had said she would.

 

“I... I guess I could stay in bed for a little longer,” Michael agreed, letting himself relax in Jeremy’s arms and letting his body relax. “The bed’s comfy, and I really like how you’re playin’ with my hair...” Yeah, this felt nice, it felt good to be lying with Jeremy in bed, to be cared for and doted over like this.

  
...Why did he want to get up again?

 

Jeremy hummed happily. “I can keep doing it for as long as you like, Micah. If it makes you happy.” He didn’t stop.

  
Michael’s was vaguely aware that time was passing. The sunlight brightened then dimmed behind their closed curtains, but Michael couldn’t find it in himself to care. He was comfy. Jeremy was there, loving him, that was all that mattered. Or, that’s what Jeremy kept murmuring. So Michael was content to just lie there and relax. At least until the door to the bedroom door clicked open and someone poked their head in. Between the fog in his head and his lack of glasses, Michael couldn’t exactly see who it was, but Jeremy told him when he next spoke anyway. “Jen? What are you doing here...?” Jeremy didn’t stop stroking Michael’s hair. Michael didn’t move, too relaxed to even say hello.

 

“Hey, I came to check up on you guys. No one saw you two today, I thought you were going out for a picnic? Did something happen?” Michael couldn’t even find it in himself to tell her anything. Why would he want to go? He was too comfortable, and he was being loved by Jeremy, and they were together. Nothing else mattered, right? Why else would Jeremy keep telling him that?

 

Jeremy shook his head, almost frowning. “Micah might get hurt. S’better to stay here where I can look after him.” Jenna was actually frowning, and he felt Jeremy pull him closer as she walked over. Michael felt safe and happy, being so close to Jeremy like this.

 

Jenna was looking at his mark for some reason, squinting at it really, before her face softened and she looked up at both him and Jeremy. “Oh, Jere. Okay. Just... wait here. I need to grab you something. It’s a present to help you look after Michael better.” With that, she vanished out of the room.

 

He almost forgot that she was even there to begin with, just relaxing there with Jeremy as he kept running his fingers through his hair. Michael shut his eyes for a bit, so relaxed.

  
Only when he heard another knock did he open his eyes again. He heard Jenna’s voice again, and she walked over with... something while someone else was in the room. “Here, Jeremy. Drink this, it’ll help you.”

 

“But I don’t need help. M’fine,” Jeremy grumbled, eyes the thing suspiciously.

 

Jenna sighed, a small smile on her face. “I meant it’ll help you look after Michael. Make things even better,” she explained. Jeremy looked more curious now and he took the thing and drank it.

 

For a time, nothing happened. Then the hand in Michael’s hair stilled and Jeremy’s arms dropped loosely around him. His eyes were closed and he was breathing slowly.

 

Michael tried to look up at Jeremy then, blinking as he reached up to him, but he felt someone’s hand on him that wasn’t Jeremy. “Come on Michael, we need you to come with us,” he heard Jenna say, but he tensed up and manages to force himself to cling close to Jeremy. No, he couldn’t leave Jeremy, Jenna knew that! He shook his head as he hugged him close.

 

Jenna sighed. “I’m sorry about this, Mikey, but you’ll thank us for this later. Jake? Let’s get him to the couch.” Her voice switched from gentle to commanding as she looked at the other person in the room.

 

Two arms wrapped around him, lifting him away from Jeremy, Michael kicked and screamed, trying desperately to get back into the bed, but physically his body was still too relaxed and weak. “Jenna! Don’t let them take me! Let me stay with Jeremy! Please!” The arms didn’t let him go, and eventually Michael stopped fighting, just letting himself be held while he sobbed.

 

Slowly, things started making a bit more sense, like the fact he was now sitting again, still being held, and that Jenna was still nearby, He could pick out a little bit of the conversation going on above him, even if he couldn’t quite process everything that was being said.

  
“You alright, Jake? I know he’s pretty strong when he wants to be.” Jenna’s voice was concerned but grateful.

 

The person holding him chuckled. “Yeah, I’m fine, no harm done... I-I don’t know how you survived a month of that Jenna. It was painful to watch, even for a minute.” The person’s voice went sad and Michael couldn’t help but be a little satisfied upon hearing the tone; serves them right for taking him away from Jeremy.  
  


“Yeah, I couldn’t get used to it, no matter how hard I tried. I just knew things would get better... Honestly, I’m surprised there wasn’t a relapse until now, though I’m proud of them having been good until now.”

  
What Jenna was saying didn’t make much sense, but she was still proud of him and Jeremy somehow? Hopefully, that would mean he could get back with Jeremy soon…

  
He wasn’t sure how much time had passed by the time he felt a bit clearer, and he was able to think with the fog in his mind gone. In his mind, he was able to realize what happened, and felt a bit bad that he hadn’t been able to get away and let this happen. He was also surprised by how long Jake had been able to hold him for, since when he was able to check, it was late into the night.

  
He finally managed to get his voice when it was around midnight. “I... thanks, Jenna and Jake.”

 

Jenna was instantly attentive. “How are you feeling Michael?” She pushed his hair off of his face gently and placed his glasses on.

 

The world snapped into focus. “Sorta fuzzy still, but better.”

 

Jenna nodded with a small smile. “How long were you out for, anyway? Like when did Jeremy get you with that?” Jake piped up as he moved to put Michael down on the couch properly. Michael adjusted himself so he was sitting properly, still feeling a little weak.

 

“I...” Michael had to think hard for a minute to remember before he gave a guilty smile to the two. “Since I woke up this morning? I tried to get up and he just started right away, so I couldn’t get anyone or do anything.”

 

Jenna deflated a little, her eyes soft. “It’s not your fault, Michael. Or Jeremy’s. We’ll just have to manage it if it happens again, set up a system so we can know if he’s struggling.” Jenna turned to Jake. “We’re gonna need to get Jeremy up in a minute, would you minds fixing up some food for these two? Just like some sandwiches or something.”

 

Jake grinned and nodded. “Sure thing, Jenna. Lemme know if I can help.” And with that he was off to the kitchen.

 

Michael made sure to thank Jake as he walked off before turning back to Jenna. “Thank you, Jenna. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  
Jenna just blinked and couldn’t help but smile before reaching over and ruffling his hair up a bit. He whined and gently swatted away her hand, though the fond look she got didn’t shake off. “You two would be screwed without me, let’s just say that much. C’mon, let’s wake Jeremy up and you can get him to come back to his normal self.”

 

 

 

“Okay, so you see the yellow ribbon I’ve got with me? Take it and twist it with your own. We’re at our strongest when we work with others.” Jeremy sounded like he was teaching someone when Michael went searching the new library for him. He had said he was meeting a friend and invited Michael along after work, but now it sounded like he was performing a lesson of some kind.

 

Knocking on the door, Michael slowly entered and saw Jeremy sitting with a girl, no more than about thirteen years old. She was focusing hard, her fingers pinched on what looked to be thin air. Then she grinned and launched herself at Jeremy, who caught her in a hug. They were both laughing. “I did it Bluejay! I did it!”

 

Michael couldn't help but smile at the scene, taking in all of this before he was sure to be noticed. Jeremy, who used to be so meek and scared, unable to do anything on his own, was so easily teaching this young girl with maturity, confidence, and held this wise and knowing persona. He looked so happy, so content, so at ease. How could he not help but smile as he watched the two celebrate this apparent victory? Though, he didn't know why, but he felt a strong _urge_ to pat this girl's head…

 

Jeremy caught sight of him as soon as he had let go of the girl. “Ah! You’re here already!” He bounced over and pressed a quick kiss to Michael’s cheek. “How was work? Are the plans for the new R&D building going well? I swear, Dad and Reyes won’t stop asking about them.” He chuckled, grabbing Michael’s hand and pressing another kiss on the back of it.

 

The girl wandered closer, looking rather shy. “It’s nice to properly meet you, Red Robin. I’m Sofia. You probably don’t recognize me, but I helped a little during your recovery.” She shuffled her foot meekly, and Michael just about melted.

 

Michael smiled down at her, squatting down to her as he reached over and patted her head, feeling so happy for doing that for some reason? "It's nice to meet you, Sofia. I don't, but I wanna thank you for helping. I heard that a sweet girl came and helped Jeremy and I out, so it's good to put a face to that now." He quickly glanced back up at Jeremy then. "Oh, and it's going good. Chloe's almost done and they're just looking for the right place to put it."

 

Sofia was giggling, apparently a lot more comfortable. “Is this just a thing you do? Head pats? Because you did it last time as well.”

 

Jeremy chuckled, shaking his head. He learnt down a little, shooting Michael a cheeky wink. “I think he just likes you. He seems to be fond of blue souls like us,” he stage whispered, before straightening up and bumping his shoulder against Michael’s. “Sofia is the only other blue soul we’ve found so far, so I’ve been teaching her what I know.”

 

Rolling his eyes at Jeremy's little show of playfulness, he bumped his shoulder back against Jeremy's as he nodded in agreement. "Well, and I'm not just saying this because he's the only other one, you're learning from the best, Sofia."

 

“Mm, thanks Micah. And I learnt it all from you.” Jeremy’s smile was totally smitten as he leaned in and quickly kissed Michael’s lips. Sofia only giggled more. “C’mon. You’ve done great for today, Sofia. We can work on using them next week, yeah? For now, why don’t you come over for some tea? I’ll even let your mom know for you if you need me to,” Jeremy suggested with a small smile. Sofia cheered happily.

  
"Plus, I can tell you some stories about Jeremy that are _super_ embarrassing," Michael teased, laughing as Jeremy swatted at his arm and Sofia laughed along with him.

  


 

“Micah, I’m home!” Jeremy called as he stepped through the front door. Today had been exhausting and he was more than a little glad that Michael was home already, cooking dinner. He wasn’t sure if he’d have the energy. After toeing off his shoes, he shuffled into the kitchen and wrapped himself around Michael, who was by the stove. “Mmm, hello again, Mr. Mell. Feel free to ignore me back here.” Jeremy pressed a quick kiss to Michael’s cheek and rested his head against Michael’s shoulder

 

He could feel, not just hear, Michael sigh before he felt a kiss pressed quickly to his head. "You know, after six years, that's still impossible to do," he was told before he felt something wet licking his leg. "See, even Dude can't ignore you. You're just lucky that I'm almost done cooking and that I only need to stir the sauce a little longer, _Mr. Mell_."

 

Jeremy snorted slightly and detached himself from his husband so he could pet their dog. Dude grinned up at him (well, as best as a dog could) and his tail wagged furiously, the utter joy of seeing Jeremy apparently being too much. “Ugh, why did you ever let me work alone. Being in charge on my own _sucks_. I don’t know how Elder Partridge ever managed it. I’m beyond exhausted,” he grumbled, wandering over to the sink to wash his hands.

 

"Excuse me, you and everyone else on the council _forced me_ to be off for a week. At least you can understand how valuable and important I am to help you as the other council head," Michael told him as he turned the heat off and put the pot of sauce onto an unheated stove burner. "Granted, I enjoy spending time with Dude and lounging at home a bit, but I could _totally_ be alright with you lessening that break-"

 

“Michael, no. You drained yourself so much that it set us _both_ off for the first time in two years! You are finishing your week off, no exceptions. I’m just complaining.” Jeremy arched an eyebrow, daring Michael to disagree as he grabbed the drinks and carried them over to the table.

 

A sigh passed Michael's lips as he looked back over to his husband, who was currently making plates of Chicken Tikka Masala for them, pouring the sauce. Dude was sitting by his feet, tail still as he stared up for any scraps. "Well don't complain around me then, or I'm gonna complain right back at 'ya." As he said that, the wooden spoon was pointed toward him, some sauce dripping down onto the floor that Dude happily licked up, though coughed once, probably due to the spice.

 

Jeremy giggled and kissed Michael softly as he took his plate. He smiled as he watching his husband, feeling joy and love bubble up in his chest.

  
The world was very different once, he mused to himself. It was cruel and harsh, with only small pockets of joy. Now people are free to live and love and learn, and free to be themselves. It was a hard road to get there, but Jeremy couldn’t help but agree with something he had believed for so long. He really did prefer this version of the world.

**Author's Note:**

> We plan on adding a new chapter every day, so stick with us through the next three weeks for this fic! Woo! <3


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